The Night Before Thirty (31 page)

“You ready to go?” he said nonchalantly.

“Sure,” Elise replied.

Allen led the way as they walked toward the door.

“So, that's all you're going to say?” she managed.

“About what?” he asked after turning to face her.

“Allen. I got you a pair of silk boxers as a gift, and you're acting all casual.”

He stood there, staring deeply into her eyes.

“I gave you those boxers, Allen, because I wanted you to know that I like you. And it's more than a friendship thing, I—”

Before she could complete her sentence Allen dropped her luggage, grabbed her in his arms, and proceeded to kiss her with all the passion he'd had for her since they first met, the passion he'd held back because he wasn't sure if she felt the same.

Overwhelmed, Elise didn't know what hit her at first, but once she realized that she was being kissed by the man she wanted to be her own, she threw her arms around him and returned his level of passion. The two were all over each other and so caught up in their emotional display that they forgot that anyone was around them until an old lady walked by and said, “Get a room, you two. There are children around, for Christ's sake!”

They stopped long enough to shrug her off and went back to kissing. Then Allen broke off and said, “I've wanted to do that for so long.”

“Me too,” she replied.

“I was a little embarrassed earlier—flattered and thrilled, but I didn't know what to say when I saw that you'd gotten me boxers.”

“Well, you got around to speaking with that kiss. That was nice. I'd like to try that again real soon,” she said.

They snickered like schoolkids.

“You ready to go back to your place?” he asked.

They both took a deep breath.

“Yes,” Elise replied.“I'm ready.”

Allen kissed her one last time then picked up her luggage. He looked at her, “By the way. You are beautiful, and not only because you have
your hair all done up today. I think you're gorgeous even when your hair is pulled back and you're walking around in your warm-ups. You're beautiful because you are a special woman, and I admire you. I care about you.”

“I feel the same way,” Elise replied.

The couple walked out of the airport, laughing and joking and sharing with the destination of togetherness in mind.

ANYA NUDGED THE
door closed with her hip and dropped her bags. She looked around at her place. A streetlight was shining through the window, glaring off a picture of her and Chris displayed on the entertainment system. She walked over to the picture and stared at the two of them posing for professional shots that she'd had to beg him to participate in. After they'd gotten the pictures back, he'd told her he was glad that she went through the trouble of convincing him because the pictures were “dope” and he couldn't wait to give one to his mother.

Tanya grabbed the picture and fell back onto her sofa. The photo was a reminder of everything that she had yet to face. She closed her eyes and tried to drift back to her recent trip. Although she'd just gotten back to Chicago, her time spent relaxing in tropical bliss seemed so long ago. She sat there for a moment, going over her options, to decide what her first move was going to be. She'd have to accept her job transfer to Atlanta. She'd already been approved and had thirty days to accept. Then she'd have to pack her things.

The tough part would be telling Chris she was pregnant. She knew he wouldn't want her to leave.
Maybe,
she thought,
it would be better if I never said anything to him, just hired movers to pack up everything
and take the long drive in my car to Atlanta.
The drive would give her time to think. She'd have to choose an apartment. She'd already gone through several apartment guides and had an idea of what area she wanted to live in. She'd have to make a final decision based on her single income, and she'd be getting a one-bedroom instead of a two since Chris wouldn't be joining her.

A loud knocking startled Tanya.

She hesitantly got up off the sofa. She knew it was Chris—who else would it be? There was so much she needed to think through. She wasn't ready yet to see him, but he continued to bang on the door. She let him in.

“Where have you been?” he barked as he walked through the door.

“Like you care. Haven't you been gone all weekend?”

“You didn't answer my question, Tanya. Where have you been?” he asked, and slammed the door behind him. Then he looked down at her luggage.“I knew it.”

“You knew what?”

“That you went on a trip. Who the hell is he?” he demanded.

“What are you talking about?”

“Who did you go on vacation with?” he asked.

Tanya took a chair at the table. She was feeling a little dizzy.

Chris grabbed the top of the chair next to her and pushed his weight on his arms. Then he eyed her intensely.

“I went on a trip. Me and four other women won a trip over the radio.”

“Yeah, right,” Chris said, and sat down in the chair.

“Believe me or not—I have no reason to lie. So how was your trip?” she asked.“Wait a minute. Don't even tell me. I don't want to know.”

The two sat staring away from one another. Tanya looked at her nails, which were tapping on the table, while Chris was hard-fixed on the wall in front of him.

“I didn't go,” he said in such a low voice that Tanya barely heard him.

The tapping stopped.

“What did you say?” she asked.

“I said, I didn't go,” he replied.

“Oh.”

More silence.

“I'm still moving,” she said.

“I figured that,” he said, shaking his head.“You still going without me?”

Tanya didn't respond.

“Listen, I'm sorry for walking out on you, but I didn't want to fight. You were seeing things one way, and I was seeing them another,” he said.

“Exactly,” she replied, crossing her arms.

“But not anymore.”

Tanya looked at him.

“I want to move to Atlanta with you. That's if you want me to. I could-n't wait to tell you, but your car was gone all weekend. I've been driving around by your place and calling.”

“I know how that feels,” Tanya said, and rolled her eyes.“And frankly, Chris, I don't want to deal with it anymore. I'm tired of wasting my life waiting on you to make a move. I've waited on you all of my adult life, and where has that gotten me?”

“Baby, I know you have, and I know I haven't been there for you, not the way that you've needed me to be.”

“Well, I'm glad you've finally realized that.”

“I have, and that's why I'm here right now.”

“Uumph,” Tanya replied. It all seemed too easy, his sudden change of heart.“So why didn't you go to Texas, Chris? Why did you change your mind?”

Chris took a deep breath, and then blew out a gust of air.

“I was going to tell you this even if you didn't ask, but the morning I left your apartment, the cops came to my place and started questioning me about T-Roy's murder.”

“I thought the case was closed,” Tanya said.

“It is, as far as them arresting Payne and his boy. The other two with them were shot. But there were other things involved, so they questioned me, and the low-down bastards locked me up overnight.”

“So you were in jail. No wonder you didn't go to Texas.”

“I said overnight. They had to let me go because they were holding me on some trumped-up charges.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Anyway, while I was laying there overnight in that hard, tiny little
bed, I had the chance to do some real thinking. I thought about you and me and all the preaching you've been doing to me about not having to have an elaborate life.”

“So you got scared. That's why you didn't go,” Tanya said, interrupting. She didn't have time for a sob story that was supposed to help him get her back.

“If you would let me talk, I'll be able to tell you what I'm trying to say.”

Tanya stared at Chris. She didn't want to continue listening. She didn't need to because she knew the real deal. Chris felt the heat and he was dodging trouble. That's why he didn't go to Texas and was suddenly in a hurry to move to Atlanta.

“Like I said. I had time to think while I was in jail, but I didn't make a decision until I was walking out of my place to meet my peeps to head out to Texas. I saw this couple. They were getting into a raggedy-ass car. But the brother was walking with so much pride, and his girl, you could tell she was in love with him. He opened the passenger door for her. Before she got in they kissed. Them standing there kissing reminded me of us.” He stood up.

“Then when I caught up with my peeps, my boy and his girl were outside in front of the car, screaming at the top of their lungs. She was begging him not to go, and he was telling her to get back into the house. Tanya, I got the eeriest feeling, and you know I'm not easily spooked by much. But I had a moment. I could see clear as day that if we went, whether we were caught or not, that I would never see you again. And I couldn't breathe.”

Tanya looked at Chris. She was sure that he was saying whatever he needed to get her to change her mind.

“I know you don't believe me, but Tanya, I told my boy it was off. Then I went to my spots to get my money so that we could get ready to be out. One of the stashes is low, way low, but that's all right—I know who took it. I care about my money, but Tanya, instead of me chasing him, I've been looking for you all weekend. The longer it took for me to find you, the more I knew what I had to do.”

Chris fell to his knees in front of Tanya.

“I know I've lived a fucked-up life and made a lot of bad choices. I haven't done a whole lot of things I'm proud of. Since T-Roy was shot,
nothing has made sense, Tanya, nothing, except for you. You are the only thing that is worth holding on to.”

He reached into his pocket and started fumbling around.

“I'm used to living a certain way. I'm not dumb—I know old habits die hard. But I'm making a promise on this ring that I'm going to do whatever it takes to make you always look at me the way that woman looked at her man, even though he was driving a broke-down car.” Chris opened the small box and pulled out an engagement ring.

“I'm going to tell you now. I'm not getting a job. I never will, but I am going to open my rims shop, and I'm going to make it work. But I know that it can only work if you are the woman by my side.”

Chris held the ring between his fingers while Tanya watched him in disbelief. She didn't budge, but her mind was racing.
Just when I made up in my mind to move on, he has the nerve to try to get it right!
she thought.
Well, it's too late.

“After all these years, you don't love me anymore?” he questioned.

“Chris, I love you. It's just that—”

“What, you don't believe in me? You don't believe I'm capable of changing, do you? Because if you don't, then I don't need to be here,” he said and lowered his head. Then he put the ring back into the box.“I'm sorry. Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought we had something worth fighting for.”

Chris got off his knees and sat in the chair, but Tanya's silence was too much. He got up and stood in front of her.

She didn't look at him. She couldn't.

“Well, I won't bother you again, Tanya,” he said in a lowered voice.“I see you've already decided to move on with your life.” He stood there a while longer to give her a chance to say something, but she didn't. He turned and walked out of the door.

She watched him leave.

But it wasn't right. It wasn't what she wanted. It contradicted everything she'd ever hoped and prayed that they could have, and this time if it didn't come to pass, it was going to be all on her. So she rushed to the door, down the hall, and out of the front entrance and called out to Chris, who was about to get into his truck.

It was freezing out, but Tanya didn't care.

“Chris, you didn't give me a chance to answer your question.”

He stopped short.“I'm listening.”

“You asked me if I believed in you.”

“Yeah.”

“Chris, I want to believe in you. I need to believe in you. I've loved you since I first met you, but you weren't ready then. But I have to believe you when you say you're ready now,” she yelled to him.“Will you come back inside, please? It's freezing out here.”