The Next Big Thing (30 page)

“Nothing, you’re human,” Jagger said. “Anybody would be upset.” He held me tighter, pulling me into an awkward hug. “I’m sorry,” he said. And then his lips moved up slightly, just beneath my ear. “Nick’s sleeping with her because it puts him in the spotlight,” he whispered. “Zaidee suggested he’d get more screen time if he had a ‘story line.’ They planned it all out. She told me herself. I don’t know if that makes any difference.”

I moved back, staring at him for a long moment. I was so grateful for what he’d said, so shocked by it. Jagger’s face swam before me and, buoyed by alcohol and gratitude, I gave him a brisk, unexpected kiss.
On the lips
. “Thank you,” I slurred. “For helping me out.”

He looked taken aback. “You’re welcome,” he said, guiding me up the stairs and depositing me into my bedroom.

He was just setting me on the bed when Janelle stuck her head in the door. “What are you guys doing?” she asked suspiciously.

Jagger laughed. “I should ask you the same thing. Shouldn’t you be cuddled up with Matt right about now?”

“Things between us aren’t like that,” she said. “We’re getting to know each other again. Anyway, I couldn’t sleep. Matt snores, you know.” She looked at me. “Kat, are you hurt or something?”

“She’s had too much to drink,” Jagger explained. “She needs to sleep it off.”

Janelle was there in a heartbeat, pulling off my shoes and helping me under the sheets. She propped a pillow behind my head and covered me with a blanket. “What in the world is going on with you?” Janelle asked, crouching down beside me and stroking my hair. “I’ve never seen you look so out of it.”

I started to answer, but my eyelids were drooping and I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay awake long enough to do the story justice.

“Later,” I mumbled, snuggling under the covers. Right before I dropped off, I turned my head in search of Jagger, but he was gone.  
 

***

There are a lot of things a good, long nap will fix, but Alyssa and Nick wasn’t one of them.

In the light of day the situation with them was even more disturbing to me. Worse still, I was horrified that I’d planted a big, wet, drunken kiss on Jagger’s
lips. I’d probably gone and ruined our budding friendship.

“I can’t believe they slept together,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. Janelle was seated at the edge of my bed, so she patted my feet. “All this time I thought I couldn’t be with Nick because I wasn’t a size four. He’ll make an exception for
her,
but I don’t even get a
chance
?”

Janelle sighed. “Kat, why are you still worrying about what Nick does?”

“I can’t just shut my feelings on and off like a switch.”

“But the guy has no personality! He’s
like a carbon-copy of a human being.”

I thought for a minute. “You honestly don’t find him charming?”

“Yes, it’s really charming how he ignores you all the time.”

I sighed. Over the phone, and in our e-mails, Nick had seemed brilliant, full of life. I felt he could show me a part of the world I’d never seen, teach me about things.

I had spent so much of my life waiting; when I met Nick, it seemed that
finally,
my life had begun. But in person he was nothing but an ass.

“On the phone he seemed so different, so passionate—”

“Passion’s not always a good thing,” Janelle pointed out. “Hitler was passionate.”

I grimaced. “Nick’s handsome.”

“I’ve always thought the way a person looks is the least interesting thing about them,” Janelle mused. “Take Matt. He studied sign language in high school and now he volunteers as an interpreter for the deaf. I find that so intriguing. And those are the kinds of things you’d never know merely by looking at a person.”

“It’s the same way with Jagger,” I agreed. “When I first met him I thought he was good-looking, but in a cocky and arrogant way. But he’s become way more attractive as I’ve gotten to know him.”

“I knew something was going on between you two!” Janelle winked at me.

“Not even.” I sighed. “But we are
friends.”

Or were until we shared a drunken kiss.

“You’re blushing.”

“It’s hot in here,” I argued.

“Sure,”
she said.

I considered telling Janelle about the kiss, then decided against it. If it had just been the two of us, hanging out at a bar or sitting alone in my apartment, I’d have easily spilled. But seeing how everything we talked about was privy to the viewing audience . . . there was no need to add more dirty laundry to what was already an enormous pile.

Chapter Twenty-Five

The final three weeks of
From Fat to Fabulous
went by in a blur. Alyssa and Nick were in full-blown couple mode, prancing around the house holding hands, flirting, and kissing. I did my best to avoid them, but it wasn’t easy.

Nick was
suddenly going out of his way to spend time around me. “Good morning, Kat,” he’d say every day, as he and Alyssa strolled out of his bedroom together, coming into the kitchen to eat breakfast in their bathrobes. “Lovely to see you,” he’d say as he sat down next to me.

He’d be looking at me out of the corner of his eye while he embraced her. And then they’d spend the next few minutes trading noisy kisses.

I focused on losing weight, but I’d already lost the game. After blowing sixty-five grand in the Tomb of Temptation that night with Regan, I’d slipped into third place, trailing Janelle and Alyssa.

In one fell swoop, my little indiscretion had taken me out of the running for first place. Unless Janelle and
Alyssa both screwed up big-time, I was destined for third. And Janelle was doing so well she’d likely have beaten me anyway, even if I hadn’t blown it.

The funny thing is, I’d lose the game even though I’d managed to shed over forty pounds. And Regan, who had lost the most weight of any of us (nearly
ninety pounds!), was in dead last. Eating snacks in the Tomb of Temptation had taken her bank balance all the way down to zero.

I was coming to realize
From Fat to Fabulous
had little to do with weight loss.

***

We were going out with a bang, in a special live finale. According to Zaidee, the introduction of Nick, Briana, and Matt had provided a “tremendous boost in the Nielsen’s.”

I was dying to know what the ratings were, but would have to wait until I got out of the house. I counted down to the live finale with trepidation. I couldn’t forget how things had gone during the
last
live episode.

“Never thought I’d say this, but I’m going to miss this place,” Janelle said on the final day, as we packed our suitcases in preparation for the grand exit from the house.

Despite having moved in with Matt, Janelle still had two drawers full of clothes in my room. Janelle glanced around at the bare walls and blinked. She had a hint of tears in her eyes.

“What are your plans?” I asked, thinking that I wouldn’t miss this house at all.

“I’ll probably visit my parents in New York and then go back to the gallery. What about you?”

“I’m going to
Denver for a few days. My parents arranged it last time we spoke on the phone,” I said. They were finally convinced that I did
not
want them dead, which was a relief. “After that . . . who knows?”

“Thirty minutes till show time,” my nighttime cameraman, Tate, informed us. It was only the third time I’d ever heard him speak.

“It’s been nice knowing you, Tate.” I halfway expected a response, but he remained stiff, pretending as though I hadn’t said a word.

“You think you’ll keep in touch with Jagger?” Janelle asked.

“That would be nice, but I highly doubt it.” Jagger was no longer friendly towards me.

She cocked her head to the side.

“You guys got kind of close toward the end.”

Until I went and blew everything by kissing him while I was wasted.

“We’ll see what happens,” I said vaguely.

“I’m going to get changed,” Janelle said, picking up a pair of pants and darting into the bathroom. “Back in a sec.”

My eyes wandered around the room, taking in everything for the last time, committing it to memory. It seemed unfathomable that I’d no longer be sleeping here, or eating breakfast downstairs, or talking with Janelle every day. She’d meant the world to me, and who knew if I’d ever see her again? Even if I did, it wouldn’t be the same.

I was overwhelmed with uncertainty and apprehension. There was no telling what was waiting for me on the outside. Zaidee had mentioned that we would be required to give a series of exit interviews (satellite TV and radio) as soon as the show ended.

Beyond that, it all became fuzzy. Somehow, I would have to slip back into normal life. Only I’d be going back to
Memphis without Nick, and without a best friend. My dreams of stardom and a writing career hadn’t panned out. I was still battling the bulge. I
had
shed weight, and was now a size fourteen. Hardly skinny, but I was proud of myself.

When all was said and done, I was happy I’d taken the risk of coming on the show. My falling-out with Donna, my failed relationship with Nick—they were bound to happen one day. Maybe
From Fat to Fabulous
hadn’t really changed my life, just sped it up.

“You ready?” Janelle sang out. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Let’s get this show on the road,” she enthused, emerging from the bathroom. She was decked out in a stunning red top and flared blue jeans, capped off with a gorgeous pair of black high-heeled boots. Her long dark hair had been pulled into a classy ponytail at the back of her neck, and she’d applied a fresh dusting of makeup.

“You look fabulous,” I told her, and I meant it.

She smiled and curtseyed. “But the question remains, have I gone from
fat
to
fabulous
?”

I slung one arm around her, and grabbed my duffel bag in the other.

“Absolutely,” I said. “No contest.”  
 

“Keep it clean tonight!” the floor director announced as we took our seats. “We’re on a five-second delay, but watch your language!”

I looked around the room, memorizing everything: the blinding overhead lights, the enormous cameras on dollies, the frantic motion of stagehands and producers and sound techs. The glamour of it all had escaped me until now.

“Stand by,” the floor director called. “We’re coming in live in five . . . four . . .” I listened to him count down and my eyes went misty.

This was it. After tonight I would fade into obscurity, my life no longer in the limelight.

“Well,
America, it’s been one long and wild ride,” Jagger began, walking along in front of us, hitting his marks. He looked amazing in a pair of faded jeans and a light-gray button-down shirt. “Our contestants have been through fifteen weeks of hell, tinged with drama, heartache, and triumph. Now it’s time to find out just who has gone FROM FAT TO FABULOUS!”

The scene was surreal. I watched Jagger recap the last few days’ events, and then segue into the “ultimate revelation: which girl has
conquered
her battle of the bulge to become America’s most FABULOUS NEW REALITY ICON?”

There
were
two surprises that came out during the finale. The first was when Jagger announced the order in which we’d placed. As I (and probably everyone watching) predicted, Janelle took home the whole pot. She’d lost weight fourteen out of the fifteen weeks we were on the show, and succeeded in every single challenge (except the one Nick and I took home). But
I
came in second, Luisa third, Maggie fourth, and then Regan was next. Alyssa was dead
last
!

“What happened,
Alyssa?” Jagger asked. “It looked like you were primed to win the whole thing. How’d you wind up losing?”

“Well, Jagger, when Nick came into the house, my priorities changed,” she said. “I realized there were more important things in life than money and weight loss.”

“Yes, but you frequently commented in your diary sessions that your motto is ‘you can never be too rich or too thin,’” he countered. “Has that changed?”

“It hasn’t,” she said smugly. “But I knew I had no shot at winning. Let’s face it—Janelle was an Amazon warrior when it came to diet, exercise, and challenges. I couldn’t beat her. So I decided to let go and have a little fun.”

“And how, exactly, did you let go?” he asked. “I spent my
Fat2Fab
Bank buying treats from the TOT. Bottles of wine, imported chocolates—romantic things Nick and I could enjoy together,” she explained.

“Will the two of you be staying together?” Jagger asked, addressing the question to Nick.

“Alyssa means the world to me,” Nick gushed. “When I started this I never guessed I would meet such a beautiful, amazing lover.”

“Kill me now,” I muttered, turning my head away from my lapel mic.

“What about Kat?” Jagger asked, causing me to jump at the sound of my name. He briefly made eye contact with me, then looked away. “You came into the house to meet her. What went wrong there?”

I inched down lower into my seat, willing myself to disappear.

“Kat and I were online lovers,” Nick said, and I winced at the term. “As I’ve found out, those sorts of things don’t translate well into actual relationships. If time permits, I would like to be her friend.”

If time permits?
What the hell was that supposed to mean? I shot him a poisonous glare.

Mercifully, Jagger changed the subject, opting instead to grill Regan and Briana about what it was like sharing a tiny bed for nearly two months.

“It’s impossible to get a good night’s sleep when you’re bunking with a human whale,” Briana complained, and I gasped. Poor Regan looked near tears.

“I tried to stay on my side of the bed, but it was a
really
little bed!” she wailed.

Fortunately, Jagger changed the subject. “Now, I’m sure all of
America is dying to know how you girls have changed over the last three months. Regan, I’ll start with you. Briefly, summarize your before and after stats and what you’ve learned from your time on the show.”

“I started out weighing around 340, and now I weigh 2
50! I’ve learned to be tough and to fight for what I believe in. So my body’s thinner, but my skin’s thicker,” she announced proudly.

This
was a thicker skin? I couldn’t imagine how sensitive Regan must have been before.

“I’ve found love,”
Alyssa said, squeezing Nick’s hand. “And I’ve perfected my body. I’ve gained and lost weight all my life. This time I’m thin for good. I know how to put myself out there and be in the limelight, and how to play up my best features. I know how to get attention when I need it. How to be a star, that’s what I’ve learned.”

“And your stats?” Jagger prompted.

“Oh yeah. I’ve gone from 176 to 133.”

Jagger zeroed in on Luisa, who said, “I was 213 before, now I’m 197. Not so bad. But not so good either.” She shrugged. “What do I care? I’m a great woman; any man would be lucky to have me.”

Maggie was less enthusiastic. “This show
made
me fat. It should be called
From Fabulous to Fat
!” she groused. “I was in the low 200s when I came in here; now I weigh almost 230! You guys ought to be sued for false advertising.”

Janelle was a bit more diplomatic. “Some of us have changed, some of us haven’t. I’ve dropped around
sixty pounds.. But inside is where the biggest changes have taken place. I see things differently now.”

Jagger nodded and then turned toward me. “Kat, I’ve saved the best for last.”

I blushed, wondering if it was just another line or if he meant it. “What have you learned from your stint on
From Fat to Fabulous
?”

“What have I learned?” I repeated. It was a deceptively complex question. “I’ve always thought I was a bad candidate for weight loss. But, as you can see, I’ve shed over forty pounds, so that can’t be true. You know, I used to look at skinny people and wonder why they ever had problems. I thought being thin equaled being happy. I’ve learned that my life isn’t going to magically become perfect one day, and no matter how much weight I lose there are certain things I’ll never have control over. Once I accepted that, losing weight wasn’t so daunting. I don’t worry so much anymore about whether I’m fat or thin, because in the end it doesn’t matter. I’ve stopped judging myself so harshly. ”

My eyes focused on Jagger intently, willing him to give me some sort of a sign that he would miss me, that we had been friends.

He remained detached and focused, dramatically presenting Janelle with her check—which was the second shocking event of the night. Over the course of the show, Janelle had wracked up $220,000 in her Bank. But the producers, “out of the kindness of their hearts,” as Jagger put it, had cut her a check for $250,000. “Because you worked so hard we thought we’d round that figure up,” he explained, handing her an enormous check.

“Does anybody have any final thoughts?” Jagger asked, opening up the floor.

“Watch for me,
America!” Alyssa said. “I’m going to be huge.”

“So long,” Maggie said, “and hello to everyone in Jackson, especially my wonderful son, Owen.”

Seizing the moment, I quickly threw in, “If you need a PR firm, call Hood and Geddlefinger.”