The New Guard (Crossroads Book 1) (31 page)

Three
days can be painfully long. Three days can be incredibly short. For Deborah
there were moments where she felt both were true. Being isolated, seeking the
will of the Lord, and praying about their betrothal seemed like it would keep
her occupied; however, there were plenty of times when the hours and minutes
moved so slowly. Deborah understood the power of prayer. She saw the benefit of
taking time alone to consider her choices, especially such a big one as
marriage. She did spend a great deal of the first day praying, seeking, and
dreaming. She was excited and frightened in equal measure.

What
would it be like to be married? She really only had her parents as an example.
She supposed some aspects of their marriage could speak to what it would be
like, though she was being thrown into a completely different situation. Could
it be the same, with her having less time to get to know Hogan? Could it be the
same with him being from a different species? Then there was the fact that they
were in a world (or a place between) worlds with various races, in the middle
of a battle openly fought between God and the Void. Wouldn’t her dealing with
the prospect of establishing her queendom and the impending battles with her
husband’s family put stress on their marriage? Would there be any semblance of
a “normal” marriage?

These
thoughts began to consume her. Soon she moved from prayer and seeking to worry
and doubt. She wasn’t ready to rule; she would take on what was asked of her,
but in truth she didn’t feel capable. She started feeling the same in regards
to being a wife. Then, as doubting and worry about things will often do, other
problems presented themselves, mainly the absence of her mother. How and why
was she supposed to get married without the presence of her mother? Yes, she
had her father, but her mother had always played a central role in all her
prior musings of marriage. How could she forget or cope without her guidance?

Deeper
and deeper the spiral grew. Doubt, worry, self-pity, uncertainty, fear,
loathing, despair; on and on she fell down a staircase of emotional anguish.
There seemed to be no end. There always seemed to be more troubles to trip
over. She was becoming consumed, and the thought of moving forward was overwhelming.
In that darkness of her soul she whispered a desperate prayer, “Dear Savior,
help me.”

*

Evangeline
knocked a third time, this time looking at the maiden guard who was on duty.

“She’s
not taken any meals today,” the elven warrior said, indicating two other trays
on the other side of her. “The lady sounded hoarse by the noon tide. She’s been
in there crying for some time.”

“Unlock
the door.”

“Ma’am,
Yero said. . .”

“I know
she is supposed to be in seclusion, but obviously she could use some checking in
on.” Evangeline spoke with authority that would brook no disagreement. “Lord
only knows what she could be worked up about! There is plenty to choose from.
If she is completely cut off from help she could easily slip into depression.
She’s already denying food. There is fasting, then there is starving yourself.
Open the door.”

The guard
complied and they both entered. They found Deborah near hysterics, balled up on
her bed, weeping and gasping for breath. Evangeline quickly handed the tray to
the guard and ran to Deborah’s bedside. She put her arms around the girl and
held her. She placed her head next to Deborah’s and began to whisper in her
ear.

“Hush
now; be calm. There is no call for such carrying on. Come out now, foul
deceiver; let go of this child; she shall not be yours. Lord protector, ease
her turmoil; help her fight back the forces trying to consume her. Peace; you
are safe, loved, and protected. Twister of emotions, leave now; she is the
Lord’s. Heaven above bring forth your warriors to free her.”

On and on
Evangeline soothed Deborah, admonished the dark forces surrounding the child,
and prayed holy intervention. An hour passed and Deborah’s fit calmed. She
loosened up and fell into an exhausted, dreamless sleep.

When
Evangeline was sure the girl was safe she stood and turned to the guard. The
elven warrior had remained in the room, frozen in place during the whole
ordeal. A physical fight in front of her was what she was used to dealing with.
This level of emotional distress was beyond her expertise. Evangeline
approached her and took hold of her shoulders.

“Don’t
you start
slippin
’ away, too,” Evangeline admonished.
When she saw the guard take control of her focus she started to dole out
instructions. “Take the tray back to the kitchen. Bring me back broth, some
breakfast meat, a portable burner, some bread, cheese, and fresh fruit. Oh, and
ask for some tea too. The staff down there will help you gather it up. I’ll
stay with the lady. I doubt she’ll wake anytime soon.”

Offering
no argument, the guard bowed at the waist and departed. Evangeline found a
comfortable chair to wait out the night. Deborah slept on.

*

Evangeline
had pulled back every curtain and opened every shutter during the night, and
when dawn broke it poured through the windows. Deborah woke to find Evangeline
had also drawn a bath for her. Steam wisped out of the tub.

“You
should bathe, dear,” Evangeline said, sweetly yet matter of factly. “I’ll set
out some fresh clothes. There is food on the window seat.”

Deborah
couldn’t find her voice, but nodded at her to acknowledge that she had heard.
Half an hour later, Deborah was dressed and sitting at the window seat, picking
at some grapes and cheese. Evangeline sat down behind her and started to comb
the girl’s long hair. After a few minutes of silence, the elder lady started
talking.

“Long ago
my mum warned me to be mindful of my emotions. I was a temperamental child,
always flying off in one fit or another. It was my
da
,
though, that told me about my demon.”

Deborah
looked back with an unspoken question.

“Oh yes,
dear; we all have one. Within us all is the capacity to be true to God. This
spirit, implanted in us at our creation, is fostered by our guardian angel.
However, we each harbor a seed of ill, fed to us upon our birth. This is a consequence
of being born into a broken world. This seed is cared for by a demon. Every
time we are selfish, disobedient, petulant, and so on, the demon gets stronger
and the seed grows, poisoning our soul. Our angel works to correct us to hear
the call of the Holy Spirit, our Creator. Each time we listen to His voice the
demon’s hold slips and the seed of ill withers.

“We must
always fight as the spiritual war rages around us constantly. Here, in the
Crossroads, we can see some of this battle. It’s not hidden as much as it is in
on Earth or the other planets, though there is much more going on than we can
see. We cannot see the true battle happening right in front of our soul; it is
there nonetheless.

“Now, our
angels and demons don’t always fight alone. You’ve discovered this by now. They
are aided by their allies. Your demon had a tight hold on you, twisting your
emotions and passing them off to other darker deceivers. Panic, despair, and
self-pity were feeding off of your soul. Can you feel where they were? Can you
still hear the echoes of their poisonous words? They have marked you and will
try for you again.

“You have
shown such outward strength. You honor and strive always to obey your father in
Heaven and your father on this plane. You see what is good and try always to
follow or walk along with it. You know the Savior has victory in his hand and
will guide you true. However, you see the path and tasks ahead of you and doubt
yourself. You see yourself as an imperfect vessel for whatever reason. You doubt
the Creator’s ability to use you to win His victory. You doubt God’s power.
Every grain of sand, every fish and fowl, the wind and seas, every star and you
and me, God did create. yet we doubt he can use us in our imperfection. We
doubt He can make us whole.

“Take a
moment to think. Remember not one person the Heavenly father used in the Bible
was anywhere near perfect. Look at Noah who built a boat of massive
proportions, ignoring the world around him where there was no proof of the
coming flood. He followed God and His instructions. Noah witnessed God’s power
in calling forth all the animals and the flood waters. He praised God with
sacrifices when they reached dry land, but did he fully trust God’s plan? No,
he saw a world full of dead things and despaired. He drank himself into a
stupor.

“Thieves,
killers, liars, and the corrupt: God has used them all, making them more than
they could have been on their own. Don’t doubt that God can use you. Don’t
doubt He can make you strong or put into place what you need to survive and
thrive. No, it won’t always look like you think it should, though it will be
what you need.”

Evangeline
stopped talking and slowly finished combing Deborah’s hair. Deb turned to face
the older woman when she no longer felt the brush. Evangeline noted the
weariness in the younger woman’s eyes.

“I miss
my mom. I’m tired from having to be strong for the younger girls. How could I
ever imagine a wedding without my mother? She's not dead, just missing
somewhere else in this crazy place.”

Evangeline
nodded her head. “The world, the Crossroads in particular, can take a lot out
of people. There are people who cross in all the time and they carry with them
stories of loss. Albert, my husband, came over with me. He died saving one of
the queen's cousins. She set me up here as a cook as a repayment. I was able to
give birth to Alexander in relative safety. Now my boy wants to protect people
and his head’s full of knights and great deeds of daring do. This is nowhere
near the life I dreamed of as a girl. However, you find joy where you can and
pray always for the strength to carry on.

“You say
you can’t imagine your wedding without your mother. Well, there are plenty of
dreams and hopes I carry and have carried that may not and haven’t come true.
You can’t give up dreaming, though, and you can’t let disappointment rule your
heart when a dream doesn’t come true. Over in the servant’s chapel there is a
young man praying fervently for the woman he’s fallen in love with. He prays
for wisdom so he can know what she needs to have some peace. He asks the Lord
to grant him strength to stand true beside her no matter what wickedness is
thrown at them. This boy fasts, not in despair, but with hope that his denial
of worldly needs will bring him closer to God’s throne so he may better hear
the Maker’s plan for his life. I can tell you, he never thought he’d be in a
situation like this, yet he strives to understand what he can do with what he’s
been given. He doesn’t feel confident, he very rarely ever has, yet he finds
strength in the love he’s felt over this last month and asks for every blessing
the Word has for him so he can stand tall for his love.”

Deborah lowered
her head, a faint smile playing on her lips. She pictured Hogan praying to be
worthy of her love, to be what she needed to stand against the slings and
arrows of the world. How could she be pitying herself and her situation when
there was someone so wonderful as that hoping he was everything she needed?
Before she could bring her thoughts to words, Evangeline spoke again.

“Love is
amazing if you truly understand it. That young man and the woman I’m sure loves
him back, what they have is a reflection of the love our Creator has for us. So
if that young man is willing to pour everything he is into being everything he
needs to be for his special someone, then imagine the lengths the Light is
willing to go to in order to protect us and provide for us what we need.”

Deborah
embraced Evangeline tightly.

“Thank
you,” she whispered, an abundant joy filling her heart. “I thank you for
helping me. I thank the Lord for moving through you. I praise Him for hope
unfettered. Thank you, Lord, for these blessings. Thank you for hope, for
strength, for wisdom. Thank you most of all for your love and how it shines out
of your children into my life.”

*

Three
days can be painfully long. Three days can be incredibly short. There were
times when the former felt true. This was not one of those times. Each day was
filled with tasks necessary to fortify the foothold the Lord had provided
David’s family. How many council members had been present when the angels
announced without a question the changing of the guard? Even among these David
was sure there were dissenters. Deborah’s proclamation and the rough details
she had left for him and Yero were causing hope for the people and
consternation for the landowners. In addition, there were still dissenters in
the rank and file, and a few spies for Avrant had been uncovered. Politics and
intrigue were running rampant and David felt inadequate for the challenges.
Yero, however, seemed to be thriving in his new capacity; thus, David started
to depend more and more on him.

David had
also begun not sleeping well. Instead of trying to while away the time in his
room, he got into the habit of manning the watchman’s tower. On the third night
of doing this, the Beagle joined him. As David paced the tower the Beagle
trotted along beside him.

“You have
taken to worrying away the quiet hours, instead of resting,” the angel finally
spoke up after nearly an hour.