The New Breadmakers (22 page)

‘It really put me off him as a person,’ Chrissie said, ‘but I still like the music.’

‘Me too,’ Sean agreed.

They sat in the back row in the Princes just as they had done when they were children. Now, however, there was no shyness or hesitancy about Sean. He immediately put his arm around Chrissie’s shoulders and within moments, they were kissing. After they emerged from the hall, they were both in a kind of dream. Neither could have said what the film was about.

Chrissie felt ecstatic. All problems were banished from her mind. Until they reached the top of the hill.

‘We’d better say goodnight here, Sean.’

‘This is ridiculous, Chrissie.’

‘You promised.’ Panic heightened her words.

‘All right. All right. When can I see you again?’

‘Saturday?’

‘After the match?’

Wasn’t that so typical of a man, Chrissie couldn’t help thinking, but not with the slightest annoyance. Football had to come first. That was just how it was with men.

‘Yes, fine.’

‘Same place, same time?’

She nodded then, before he could kiss her goodnight, she turned and hurried away towards Broomknowes Road. She was still savouring the kisses they had enjoyed in the back row of the Princes. She didn’t want to spoil the memory by a quick peck laced with fear. From her side at least. No doubt Sean would have tried to repeat their long, passionate embraces. But she was much too fearful to risk such a thing in the middle of the street and so near to home.

She was flustered and breathless when she arrived home after running along the street and into the flat.

‘What’s up wi’ you?’ her mother asked.

‘Nothing.’

‘You’re going wi’ a boy.’

‘What on earth makes you think that?’ Chrissie widened her now smudged, mascaraed eyes and tried to look completely innocent.

‘Ah’m no’ daft. Look at ye. Ye’ve lipstick all over yer face, for a start.’

Chrissie hastily, guiltily, fumbled for her hanky. Her mother burst out laughing.

‘Ah wondered when on earth ye’d start winchin’. I was beginnin’ tae think ye were goin’ tae end up a right auld maid. Who’s the unlucky fella?’

Chrissie avoided her eyes. ‘Och, just somebody at work.’

‘Oh God!’ Her mother cast her eyes heavenwards. ‘Another bore o’ a librarian!’

‘He’s not a bore. He’s a well-read, intelligent man.’

‘Aye, Ah can jist imagine, hen. A pale-faced, specky bloke wi’ his nose never out o’ a book.’

The image of Sean’s handsome features and dark, glowing eyes was still fresh in her mind and out of loyalty to him, she almost burst out with an indignant and accurate description. Only in the nick of time did she stop herself. What Big Aggie looked like was enough to put anyone off risking the slightest confrontation. With the hunched shoulders of a bull and an aggressive, head-jutting, wide-legged stance, Chrissie’s mother was taller and stronger than her and could still fell her with one blow. It would not matter at all that she was not a child any more but a grown woman, as Sean had put it. His mother hated ‘Proddies’ as much as her mother hated ‘Papes’ but Sean’s mother was thin and delicate and could barely struggle about. His father would be the physical threat. She often saw Michael O’Donnel coming along the road after his work in greasy railway cap and dungarees, his face streaked with dirt. He was heftily built, but with a beer belly, so maybe he wasn’t all that fit either. Dermot was, though. She felt a shiver of fear on Sean’s behalf. Dermot could and would hurt Sean if he found out.

It was true what Sean had said – it was all so ridiculous. She and Ailish had been saying that to each other for years. It did not change the facts though or the hatred. Her mother would batter her and Dermot would batter Sean. It didn’t bear thinking about. She didn’t care half as much for herself now as she did for Sean. The thought of him getting hurt was unendurable. He wasn’t heavily built like Dermot. He had a good physique, of course – it was just that he was slimmer, more elegant, more thoughtful, more intelligent-looking than his rough-looking brother.

Dermot had found his proper niche in life as a barman in one of the toughest pubs in Glasgow. He swaggered proudly about now, looking even more confident, bigger and tougher than ever.

No, they must never let anyone in either her family or Sean’s (apart from Ailish) know about their growing closeness and love for one another. Yet something had to happen. Neither of them could go on as they were doing, just existing on a few kisses in the back row of cinemas.

‘Chrissie,’ Sean said, losing his patience one night, ‘I want to be with you all the time and not care who knows it. I can’t go on like this.’

She persuaded him that maybe the next stage was to have a few days and nights somewhere. A weekend away perhaps. She could say that there was a cycling trip that the staff from various libraries had organised and it was planned that all the cyclists would stay overnight in a youth hostel. Her mother was always nagging on at her for not getting enough fresh air, ‘shut up all the time in that stuffy old Mitchell’. This cycling idea would please her. Sean could perhaps say he was going to a match up in Aberdeen or somewhere that meant he would have to stay overnight.

And so it was arranged. Sean booked a room in a small country-house hotel. Oh, how they both longed for the wonderful time they would feel free and could be lovingly together.

At first Maimie hadn’t twigged. Chrissie had always been over-enthusiastic about the Mitchell Library. They were all fed up listening to her rabbiting on about it. So no one paid any attention to her announcement about the Mitchell’s cycling weekend. It wasn’t until Maimie happened to find out that Sean had also disappeared for the weekend that she thought, ‘Oh, aye, you think we’re all daft but I know what you’re up to, m’lady.’

She phoned the Mitchell to enquire about the cycling trip and, of course, there was no such thing. She wondered if snooty, blonde Ailish O’Donnel was in on this. Meeting her on the stairs, she asked her point blank. ‘Where’s Sean disappeared to? He’s usually around at weekends.’

Thinking about it later, Maimie realised that Ailish had acquired a furtive look. She’d glanced away when answering and her voice was a bit too casual. ‘Oh, he’s away to some match up in Aberdeen.’

Of course, Ailish might just have been taken aback at being accosted on the stairs like that. They didn’t usually talk to each other. A brief nod in passing was usually the best either of them could muster. But no, Ailish was a two-faced little madam, just like Chrissie. She knew what the pair of them were up to all right. Oh, just wait till she told Mammy and Daddy! She ran back into the house.

‘Mammy! Daddy!’ she gasped breathlessly as soon as she burst into the living room. ‘You’ll never guess what’s happened!’

Aggie was enjoying a cup of tea. She took another swig. ‘Johnny Pater has asked you to marry him?’

‘Och, you’re always tormenting me about him. I’m fed up with it, so I am. I couldn’t care less about John Pater.’

‘Aye, that’ll be right.’

Wee Jimmy lit a Woodbine. ‘OK, spit it out, hen. We’re aw ears.’

‘Our Chrissie and Sean O’Donnel have gone away for the weekend. Together!’

‘What?’ Aggie and Jimmy cried in unison. Then Aggie said, ‘I’ll murder her. I’ll batter the living daylights out of her.’

‘Are you sure, hen?’ Jimmy’s voice became disbelieving. ‘I mean, just because she’s gone away on the Mitchell’s cycling weekend …’

‘He’s away as well, Daddy. I’ve just been speaking to Ailish O’Donnel.’

Aggie said, ‘I told you not to speak to them Papes.’

‘You speak to them on the stairs.’

‘Just to say hello in the passing, no’ tae stand and blether. You’ll be getting as bad as Chrissie if you’re no’ careful. Mind how some Papes got her into the chapel one time? Ah battered that out of her and Ah’ll do the same with you if you’re no’ careful.’

‘For goodness’ sake!’ Maimie rolled her eyes in exasperation. ‘I asked her where Sean was because he’s usually around at weekends. And …’ Her voice hastened on before her mother could interrupt again. ‘I only asked because I suspected what they were up to, and I was right. Sean’s away for the weekend as well.’

Jimmy shook his head and managed a half-hearted laugh. ‘But hen, that doesn’t mean …’

‘There’s no cycling weekend. I phoned the Mitchell. There never was any cycling weekend,’ Maimie ended triumphantly.

There was silence for a few seconds as Aggie and Jimmy struggled to get over their incredulity. Aggie was first to recover. ‘See her!’ she bawled. ‘Lying like a trooper as well. I’ll bloody murder her when she gets back.’ Her big fists punched the air. ‘She’ll no’ forget this in a hurry. Fancy her sleeping wi’ a Pape! What’s the world coming to?’

Maimie was overjoyed. Her fat cheeks quivered with anticipation. ‘They must have been going out for ages.’

‘Fancy! Behind ma back! Just you wait until Ah get ma hands on her.’

Maimie could hardly wait, she was so excited and delighted. She prayed that her daddy wouldn’t be out working when Chrissie returned so that he could have a go at her as well. He often worked on Sundays because, for one thing it meant extra pay. But anyway, it would be her mammy who would do all the battering. All her daddy would get the chance to do would be to bawl and shout.

What a carry-on. Marvellous! Oh boy, oh boy!

*    *    *

It was while they were in bed in the hotel that Sean asked Chrissie to marry him. Everything had been so beautiful in the oak-beamed country house, where they seemed to be the only guests. How quiet and peaceful it had been, sitting together in front of the big log fire sipping their nightcap of whisky. The bedroom had an old-fashioned brass bed with a mountainous mattress, piles of feather pillows and a beautiful patchwork quilt. There had been a fire in the bedroom too and they had undressed by its soft light. They took their time, admiring each other, gently exploring and caressing each other. Eventually, when they were both naked, Sean scooped her up into his arms and carried her over to the bed. How tender and loving and passionate he had been! They told each other how much they loved one another and Chrissie wished they could stay there forever, warm and safe in each other’s arms. She didn’t want to sleep and miss the wonderful awareness of a single moment. She had never felt so happy and content.

Sean had told her that he felt exactly the same and added, ‘We could be together like this forever. We could get married. Will you marry me, Chrissie?’

For that magic moment, all difficulties were forgotten and she had gladly said, ‘Yes.’ It wasn’t until they were on their way back to Glasgow and Balornock that the realisation of all the difficulties returned.

‘We can’t just walk in together like this. Not just now. For one thing, it would make everything a thousand times worse if our families thought we’d lied to them and been away for the weekend together. We need more time to think of the best way to approach them. We need to make lots of plans and preparations first, Sean.’

Sean sighed. ‘Yes, you’re right. We’ll have to meet again soon and talk about the practicalities, like exactly when we can get married and where we’re going to live.’

‘Right. We’ll separate at the corner as usual. Give me a minute or two to reach my house before you start for yours.’

He nodded. Then, as she was about to hurry away, he put a hand on her arm and said, ‘I love you, Chrissie, and, no matter what opposition and difficulties we have to face, we’ll overcome them together. We will be married.’

She gave him a loving smile and left him standing at the top of the Wellfield hill, a tall, elegant-looking young man with a black shock of hair she loved to stroke, a handsome, intelligent face and serious dark eyes that could burn with so much passion. She felt as if she was melting with love for him. She was so happy.

Melvin had always enjoyed being a martyr. A long-suffering, brave and courageous one, of course. Now, he had found not only a partner in suffering but someone who was dependent on him, someone who was truly grateful to him. Someone who shared the same opinion of Catriona.

Melvin and her mother had ganged up against her. When Melvin had showed concern that the old woman was struggling down to the bakery in all sorts of terrible weather to spend most of her time there, Hannah had explained that Catriona was so busy all day with her patients that she didn’t want to be disturbed by her mother. Melvin was furious and returned early one day to see for himself.

There were several people waiting on the bench in the passageway and Catriona was busy with a patient in the consulting room. It didn’t help that this particular patient happened to be a man.

Melvin hadn’t the courage to say anything then and there. He waited until they were safely away before he boiled over.

‘Fancy banishing your poor old mother from my house and making her struggle through the wind and rain to get some shelter at the bakery …’

‘I did nothing of the kind, Melvin.’

‘… while you carry on with men in that back room.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous …’

‘Aw, shut up! That’s it. There’s to be no more of this. You’re an absolute disgrace. That back door is going to be locked and barred from now on. And, if you don’t get rid of all that rubbish that you call medicine, I’ll get rid of it myself. If I see any of it still there by the weekend, I’ll throw it all in the bin.’

Something else suddenly occurred to him. ‘And another thing. There’s too many rooms in this place for you to play around in and you know far too many people around here. I’m going to look for another house – up in Aberdeen. Yes, Aberdeen. I can keep an eye on Fergus there as well.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous, Melvin,’ Catriona repeated. It seemed the only appropriate thing to say. It was all getting beyond her. ‘How could you get to work every day?’

‘I’m going to retire. I’m past the age when everybody else does. Why should I keep slaving my life away just to keep you in the lap of luxury? No, that’s what I’m going to do. I’ve been thinking of doing just that for a while.’

Catriona could see he’d just that minute thought of it. It was simply another way to get the better of her. To isolate her as he’d isolated his first wife, Betty, to have her completely to himself, to own her, to lord it over her, to make himself feel big. Well, she wasn’t Betty.