The (New and Improved) Loving Dominant (24 page)

This technique can also be used with exposed ceiling beams and with room supports in the attic. Some exposed beams in cathedral ceilings are some distance down from the ceiling itself, making it possible to run a rope or chain over and around them, eliminating the need for an eye bolt.

Suspension gear.
Suspension can be done with rope, chain or a combination of both.

Chain should be the kind with welded links. The light- duty chain with unwelded links, or plastic decorative chain intended for supporting plants and lamps, is completely unsuitable. Twisted-link chain is capable of supporting the strains on it, but it lacks aesthetics and is uncomfortable to work with or even to brush against when it is under strain. If you are using locks and snap links (mountain climbers call them carabiners), you should make sure that the individual links in the chain are large enough to accept them.

Snap links and locks can also be used when chain is attached to eye bolts either by directly linking the chain to the eye bolt or by having the end of the chain pulled through and then attached to itself with the snap link. Permanent connections between two chains or between the end of a chain and part of itself can be made with split links rather than the S-shaped pieces of chain material sold in some stores. However, these S-links can open under pressure.

Keep in mind, when using a snap link as a temporary connector, you should note that it is difficult or impossible to open them under strain. At some point in your chain arrangement, you should have one or more panic snaps. These are snaps that are designed to open safely despite strain on the chains they are holding. Panic snaps allow you to release the submissive quickly and safely in the event something goes wrong. Obviously, panic snaps should never be located where suspended SAMs can get their hands on them.

Although it has never happened to me, I have heard about panic snaps breaking under stress. Because of this possibility, I recommend that you have a separate, safety chain bypassing the panic snap. Because this safety chain would not be under stress while the panic snap was intact, you can use an ordinary snap link to attach it to the chain above the panic snap.

In the event of an emergency, you would first disconnect the safety chain’s snap line. Then, you would release the submissive using the panic snap. However, if the panic snap broke during the scene, the safety chain would take up the strain and prevent what could be a serious fall.

Locks can act as a kind of inferior panic snap, as most can be opened under pressure. However, chains have a tendency to get caught in the clasp’s notch at the worst possible times. Also, only the best quality locks should be used; inexpensive locks may open under strain. For a psychological effect, inexpensive locks can be used to fasten chains that already have snap or panic locks taking up the strain.

Keys should be clearly marked and kept on a hook near the suspension or on your person at all times, and spare keys should be kept in the first aid kit.

The kind of care that is involved in tying knots for bondage is all the more important in suspension. This is not the place to have a poorly tied knot come undone or unexpectedly tighten.

Neither chain nor rope should be used against bare skin during suspension. I prefer heavily padded suspension cuffs designed just for that purpose. They have an extended brace so that submissives can grip the cuff itself and ease the pressure on their wrists. If you use conventional cuffs, make certain that the inside of the submissive’s wrists, where the veins are, are toward the outside. This way, the weight is borne by the outside of the wrists and the danger of cutting off circulation is reduced. In any case, you must monitor circulation regularly and terminate suspension at any time you notice symptoms of circulation being cut off or your submissive reports numbness or chill in the supporting extremities.

Once you have everything, and everyone, rigged, you still must suspend them. After all, that is what it is called, suspension. Even with rope through a simple pulley is difficult to lift a full-grown human; trying to pull links of chain through a eye bolt with more than 100 pounds of flesh on the other end is something that would challenge Conan.

With chain, the best approach is for the submissive to step off of a box or other movable object, like in an old-time hanging. However, unlike in the hanging, the drop, the distance between where the person is standing on the box and where she or he will be while hanging, should be not more than four inches. This is to make it possible to get back on the box after being exhausted by the session.

Most dominants, however, prefer to hoist their submissive into position. Auto supply stores sell chain falls that are ideal for this purpose, and hoists are available from boating and hardware stores. The safest kind is a screw hoist, which uses a crank attached to a screw drive to turn the drum. Unfortunately, it lacks the wonderfully erotic click-click-click of the cam hoist. Surprisingly, the safety of the screw hoist is a disadvantage in an emergency. Because the cam hoist uses a cam riding on a notched wheel to prevent the cable from unwinding, it is possible to quickly lower someone by moving the crank to remove tension from the cam, lifting the cam off the notched wheel and then letting the drum freely rotate as someone else supports the suspended person. A screw hoist, because of its design, cannot allow the drum to run free.

Do not expect to run the rope all the way to the hoist, which should be attached firmly to a wall or another such immovable object. Rope, particularly nylon rope, has an amazing ability to stretch. A 15-foot length of nylon rope can be expected to stretch to 25 to thirty feet under strain. Not only does that mean a lot of cranking before anyone leaves the ground, it also makes the suspended individual bounce in an annoying manner that is more laughable than erotic.

You can use wire-cored plastic or wire cable to run most of the way from the hoist to the lifting rope or chain. The cable will not stretch, and the submissive will stay about where you want him or her. Where the cable has to change direction to convert the downward pull of the winch to a lift, you should use a pulley, both to cut down on the friction and because cable is more vulnerable to abrasion and more likely to abrade that it rubs against than rope.

When lowering and releasing a suspended submissive, you will welcome an extra set of hands. The submissive is likely to be confused and disoriented, both by the suspension and by the activities that went with them. Expect a sort of collapse and be ready to support him or her when the strain is removed.

Inverted suspension.
Cuffs for inverted suspension are also available, but, if care is taken to protect the Achilles tendon, tight-fitting boots can also be used. The ideal device, however, are the ’70s fad, gravity boots, which can occasionally be found at yard sales, eBay and flea markets. A more recent sport, bungee jumping, also provides suitable equipment for inverted suspension. The feeling of partial inverted suspension can also be obtained with tables, intended for meditation or relaxation therapy, which someone can be strapped to, while the entire table-top tilts.

Some submissives report that the feeling of being suspended in an inverted position mimics, in a somewhat safer way, erotic asphyxia, an extremely dangerous activity, but one that a number of people find stimulating. Unfortunately, this position also tends to cause sinus blockage. Because of this, the dominant should monitor the submissive’s condition during inverted suspension even more carefully than during conventional suspension.

Because the valve system in the veins and arteries is designed to keep an even pressure when people are upright but not inverted, you should not suspend anyone in an inverted position who is extremely near-sighted, has glaucoma, high blood pressure, heart conditions, diabetes or other circulatory problems in the extremities.

Great care should be taken while raising and lowering the submissive as a moment’s carelessness can result in a fall directly on the skull and back of the neck. A compression fracture can mean a lifetime as a quadriplegic.

A common-sense safety precaution is leaving the submissive’s hands and arms free during hoisting and releasing prior to lowering. I also like to have a third party present to steady and support the submissive’s body, while I tend to the winching.

Supported suspension.
Supported suspension eliminates many of the problems inherent in conventional, by-the-wrist suspension while providing the off-the-ground out-of-control feeling valued by submissives. In supported suspension, the primary stress is either distributed at several points, or it is placed so that it mimics the normal stresses of standing or sitting.

Obviously, regardless of how the submissive is suspended, there is no reduction in weight, so you shouldn’t scrimp on the supporting ropes and chains or on how you attach them to the supports. None of the hardware requirements I’ve stated earlier are in any way relaxed.

The simplest and most popular form of supported suspension is the swing. This can be as simple as a child’s swing with the sub-missive’s arms tied above the head along each of the risers. This way the submissive’s entire weight is resting on the horizontal board, and there is no pressure on the wrist ties.

More complex swingers’ swings or bondage swings allow the submissive to lie back and have both his or her feet and hands firmly attached to the four supporting lines. These swings are often sheets of leather or canvas or meshes made from broad nylon strapping. The support is more broadly spread, and because of this, these swings are more comfortable than the simple board.

Of course, with swings, there is limited access to the parts of the body, the ass or the back, that is doing the supporting. However, a creative dominant can lower the conventional swing until it is just above floor height and have the submissive stand on the seat. Extra ropes can hold the ankles and wrists against the rope. In fact, the entire length of the arms and legs as well as the waist can be attached to the swing’s risers. This leaves both the front and the back of the body available for stimulation.

A homemade swing with an extra-wide seat is useful here. In this way, the seat substitutes for a spreader bar and keeps the legs well apart. As with any spreader, you can include a place for a dildo or vibrator support.

A more complex solution to the problem of supported suspension is to use a harness. These range from a simple climbing harness like those used by rock climbers, to something similar to a parachute harness. In fact, enthusiasts often haunt flea markets and surplus stores and snap up surplus parachutes. The shroud fabric is useful for many applications. The chute cord can be used for decorative bondage where there is no tension on nerves or blood vessels, and the harness itself is a joy forever.

For those who are unable to obtain the conventional parachute harness, or who find it unaesthetic, a leather harness can be acquired from a number of leather craft shops around the country at a considerable cost.

To create one style of climbing harness, you need about ten feet of nylon webbing, sold in mountain sports shops, and a device called a carabineer from the same source. A carabineer is a kind of D-ring with a spring-loaded gate that snaps shut whenever you put something into the ring.

I prefer the two-inch-wide nylon straps. The three-inch- wide straps provide better support but are harder to tie. This fabric feels soft but there is a chance that it can abrade the submissive’s skin.

Dominants should be aware of this, and monitor it closely. Some dominants prefer to put lambswool or other padding under stress points.

You can put the middle of the strap across the submissive’s back and tie it over the belly button with an overhand knot (first tie). The two free ends go between the legs. Each free end should cross one of the buttocks diagonally and then go under the horizontal strap at the point where the outside pants seam would be if you were nice enough to allow your submissive to wear pants. Then you need to bring both ends forward and knot them over the belly button with a square knot. Finally, you must take a carabiner and put both the first and second tie inside of it.

That completes the climbing harness. The carabiner provides a point of attachment for your hoisting rope or chain. You may wish to tie the submissive’s wrists to the hoisting rope or have him or her hold on while you lift. There is a certain tendency for people to hang upside down in this harness so, naturally, a behind-the-back wrist tie is a very dangerous idea unless you somehow secure the upper torso to the rope so this does not take place.

Suspension is a lot more difficult to do well and safely than most people realize. Many of the desired effects can be obtained by other, safer approaches, such as standing bondage or tight spread-eagled bondage. However, if you and your submissive feel that suspension is what you want, do it carefully and sensibly.

Waxing

Candles cast such a lovely glow across the bedroom or dungeon. Their gentle light hides and reveals. Their flickering flames draw the eye like little magnets. In the scene, candles can also perform another function: waxing. At first, it may sound horrifying, dripping hot candle wax on bare skin. I assure you it will sound horrifying to a novice submissive.

However, properly applied candle wax can be no more stimulating than a brisk spanking and considerably less so than whipping. The secrets are choosing the right candles and letting the wax cool by letting it fall a distance before it hits the skin.

Most novices attempting their first waxing are likely to go out and buy expensive candles. After all, they think, this is a special occasion so it calls for special candles. Unfortunately, these are may well be the wrong candles to use. Expensive candles are often made from beeswax. This is because it is easier to mold into exotic shapes and burns for a long time.

Unfortunately, the reason a beeswax candle lasts for a long time is that it has a melting point considerably higher than the cheaper paraffin. The stimulation caused by melted beeswax striking the skin is very likely to exceed a submissive’s ability to transmute it into pleasure. This, in turn, can lead to a truncated session and general unhappiness all around.