The Naughty Sins Of A Saint (36 page)

‘I wouldn’t have done that if I didn’t,’ he thought. ‘I know better. I must want it as well, but I would’ve told her if I was deliberately planning it. I’d never try to get her pregnant without telling her!’

Saint finished dressing for his book signing event and left the house. His mind was in a daze as he took the East 91 Riverside exit. He smiled, greeted, and spoke to the large crowd of men as he always did, putting on a captivating performance. He gripped one of his books tightly in his hand, uncapped the sharpie pen, and autographed another copy of “The Black Vagina Vortex,” then handed it to an adoring fan. The Indonesian man looked at his book in confusion.

“Dr. Aknaten, I don’t mean to be a bother, but my name is ‘Banyu,’ and this says ‘Baby.’” Saint looked at the book and read what he had written:

To Baby,

– Dr. Saint Aknaten

Saint shook his head in disbelief. “I’m sorry, Man. I must’ve misheard you.” He grabbed a new copy of his book and autographed it again, handing it to the man who smiled happily as he walked away.

Saint’s agent, Rodger, tapped him on the shoulder. “You seem really distracted. I didn’t come all the way out here to California from New York to see you dazed and confused,” Rodger teased as he had witnessed the occurrence.

“I just have something on my mind. Sorry, Man,” Saint said as he happily watched the last guest leave.

“Are we still on for dinner tonight?” Rodger asked as he grabbed his jacket.

“Uh, yeah. Tonight is fine,” Saint said as he packed up his belongings. “I’m about to cut out, though. I have something I need to take care of.” Before Rodger could respond, Saint was back in his car, speeding back home. Hour after hour passed, the sun getting lower and lower in the California sky as Saint paced. Xenia arrived home at around 4:00PM.

“Traffic was a beast! Shit, it’s always bad, but today was real bad,” she said as she threw her purse down on the entranceway chair and hung her pink sweater on the hook by the door. Saint stood a few feet from her, leaning against a wall in the foyer. The black marble floor cast his reflection. His eyes drilled her.

“What’s wrong with you? Why are you looking like that?” she asked. Her white sundress swayed lightly with each step she took toward him, her oiled and pretty pecan legs moving cautiously towards the center of the room. Saint met her half way.

“Is there anything you want to tell me?” he asked.

“No,” Xenia said. “What’s this all about? You’re standing there huffing and puffing like a magic dragon. Say something! Don’t stand there playing mind games. What’s going on?” Saint firmly planted his hand over her heart. He grabbed her right hand, forcing it onto his chest. She tried to pull away, only to be reminded that she was no match.

“Stop it! Get off me! I don’t want to do this again! What are you trying to find out?” she struggled in vain.

“Open up and let me see,” Saint demanded.

“See what?” Xenia said.

“Just open your thoughts. If you struggle, you’ll just prolong it.” Xenia continued to squirm until she became exhausted. She breathed heavily, succumbing to his wishes. Xenia looked down at the ground as she allowed him to go through her thoughts. Saint closed his eyes and sorted through the information as quickly as he could. He knew what he was looking for, but it was like looking for a needle in a haystack. He could feel it drawing nearer. Like pulling out a file cabinet drawer, he finally found it. Xenia looked up at him, watching his eyes once again move frantically under the lids.

“Saint, what are you trying to find out? Why don’t you just ask me?” she said quietly.

“Because if I could just ask you, you would’ve already told me what I’m looking for,” he answered as he continued to search. He slowly opened his eyes. Beads of perspiration covered his upper lip.

“We need to talk,” he said as he took her hand and led her into the piano room. Saint sat down and escorted her onto his lap.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his breathing slowly returning to normal.

Xenia searched her own thoughts trying desperately to figure out what he was referring to. “I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about.” Saint reached into his pocket and pulled out the ovulation kit, placing it in the palm of her hand.

“This – this is what I’m talking about. You didn’t think it was important to talk to me about this?” he asked. Xenia swallowed hard. She sat quietly, her eyes watering up. She tried to hold back the waterworks, but they came anyway. Saint delicately wiped her tears away with his thumb.

“You want to have a baby, but you were afraid to ask me about it. You were afraid I’d say ‘no.’ All you had to do was tell me, Baby. I don’t try to read you. If something pops up, it just does, but I had no idea what was going on until I was looking for some chapstick in your medicine cabinet. I shouldn’t have found out that way. I knew you wouldn’t tell me the truth if I asked you flat out. That’s why I did what I did. I knew you didn’t want to risk the rejection.” Saint shook his head. “I should’ve known that’s why you were suddenly so eager to take my advice and stop taking the pill recently. We’ve been arguing about that forever, and you never budged, then one day out of the blue you agreed to stop taking it. You never want me to wear condoms, either. You said it doesn’t feel the same. The truth is, you want to get pregnant,” Saint said.

“I do want to,” she confessed.

“You could’ve avoided all this if you’d just told me. You can tell me anything,” he said softly as he rubbed her cheek. “We said we’d wait at least a couple of years to have kids. We both agreed.”

“I know, and that’s why I didn’t want to say anything.”

“I’m not unreasonable, Xenia. Yes, I’d like to wait, but it’s not because I don’t want to have a baby with you or I don’t want to make you happy. I know that would make you happy right now, and that’s all I want for you. I want our children to have more of our time. Right now, we’re both at the height of our careers. We’d never be home. That’s not fair to a baby,” Saint said as he held her tightly.

“I know you’re right,” Xenia said as she cried on his shoulder. “I’d be willing to quit my job, though. That’s how bad I want to have your baby.”

Saint rubbed her back. “I’d never want you to give up your career, but if it means that much to you, then there will have to be some sacrifices, and we’ll need a little time to get that sorted out. For instance, you’d need to take a longer maternity leave because as I already told you I want you to stay home for at least the first year of our child’s life. You understood that and agreed to it. If we had another one soon after, you still wouldn’t be able to get back to work because that adds another year. We discussed all of this right before we got married. You know I have to continue to carry out my calling. It’s in me, but I also would need to scale back my work schedule. It takes two to make a baby, and it’ll take two to raise him or her. I need to be able to bond with my child, and I can’t do that if I’m never home. This is a big commitment and not something to be taken lightly.”

“I know, I know.” Xenia sniffed. “You know, I daydream about having a baby all the time now. I didn’t try to trick you.”

 “You even looked at baby clothes last week. The pink frilly dress was real cute,” Saint smirked. “You knew you could get pregnant last night, and were overjoyed when you saw I didn’t use any protection. I got caught up in the moment, and you knew I forgot but didn’t say a word.”

“Saint, the timing is never perfect for a baby. We can always find a reason why we shouldn’t have one. I understand what you’re saying though.” She looked away sadly.

“OK, well consider this. I still would have to travel sometimes and do tours. Could you handle having two or three children without me being home sometimes?”

“I know I could. I know you’d be a really good father, too. Look, I’m not getting any younger. I can take a long hiatus from my career. I know I could get right back into it when the time comes. I want to write another book anyway. I can do that from home. Right now, I just want to be a wife and mother.”

Saint looked at her closely. He stared deeply into her large, ebony eyes and gently kissed her. He lowered his hand to her stomach and rubbed it. Xenia stopped kissing him and looked up into his eyes.

“What are you doing?” she asked quietly.

“Nothing, really. I promise I’ll keep an open mind, and we can discuss what we need to do to make this happen.” He kissed her again. “And stay off my computer. You keep reading my dream journal,” he laughed as he hugged her tightly. Saint thought, ‘I need her protected right now. There’s too much going on to have a baby right now. Please just let me get this resolved first.’ Xenia nodded happily as she clasped her hands tightly around his neck.

* * *

CHAPTER 12

“They have two suspects,” T-Rex said as he helped Saint and Raphael pack up a few belongings Saint was having shipped to his new residence in L.A.

‘Yeah, and neither of them are the gunman,’ Saint thought.

“Good, finally some progress! See, Saint! Things are lookin’ up!” Raphael said with a huge grin.

“Mmm hmmm,” Saint mumbled as he put three binders in a box.

“Why aren’t you happy?” Raphael asked as he held the packing tape with one hand and a box with the other.

“I am,” Saint said unconvincingly.

Raphael shook his head and continued to pack. “Hey, Man, since you aren’t using your cane anymore, let me borrow it. That cane is slick.” Raphael picked up the cane and started to twirl it around. “Now when you walk, you have a natural pimp stride,” he teased.

“Yeah, I can also tell you when it’s going to rain. I have arthritis in my right knee for some reason now. I guess that’s the price I pay, but it’s better than being six feet under.”

“True that,” Raphael said. “The nurses at the hospital couldn’t believe it when you walked in there the other day! They had no idea you’d recovered. The look on their faces was priceless.”

“That was the last visit with the physical therapist there, too. I have a new one in California. I still have a long way to go. I still can’t run very fast, but as everyone that’s worked with me on my mobility keeps saying, it’s a miracle that I can walk at all. Mind over matter and faith is what I owe it to,” Saint said.

“And a little somethin’ extra,” Raphael smirked.

“I have too many things to do to be laid up in some wheelchair for the rest of my life. Hey, where are my porn DVDs?” Saint asked as he scanned the living room looking for the box he had just packed.

Raphael remained quiet. “Nuh uh, Man. Latrice would kill me. You better put them back. They’re probably by the front door to be loaded into your car,” Saint laughed. “Those aren’t ordinary pornos. They were hand selected. You better give me my shit back, Man. It took me years to get that collection just how I wanted it.”

“Just let me borrow a few then!” Raphael said as he taped another box closed.

“Fine, just a few, but don’t take all those videos to your house. She’d be upset, so don’t even do some shit like that,” Saint reprimanded. “Also, when you come over here, make sure you set the alarm every time. The last thing I need is somebody gettin’ in here and stealin’ all of my stuff.

“I will, Man,” Raphael said. “Thanks for lettin’ me and Latrice use it since you still have it. She’s always loved it over here. Speaking of which, she said something the other day that got me thinkin’.” Raphael shot T-Rex a knowing look then pulled Saint to the side and whispered.

“Remember when you introduced me to her, and I asked if you two had ever slept together back in the day, and you assured me you didn’t?”

“Yeah, and that was the truth,” Saint replied.

“Well, the other day she said something about, how Saint lays it down in bed. How would she know what you were doin’ if you hadn’t tapped her?”

“Aren’t you in a little too deep to be askin’ me now about if we slept together? At this point, it shouldn’t even matter because you’ve been married to her for over five years and have three kids together.”

“So, you did sleep with her!” Raphael said angrily.

Saint rubbed his forehead. “You’re killin’ me, Man. No! No, I didn’t. I was just sayin’ that if I did, it’d be too late to be worried about it now. You’ll have to ask Latrice what she meant because it didn’t come from any experience she had with me,” Saint assured.

“So, my girl isn’t pretty enough? She isn’t your type?” Raphael asked.

“Are you high on somethin’ today? I’m dead serious. What’s gotten into you? That had nothing to do with it. Thoughts of havin’ any romantic dealings with her make my stomach turn. That’d be incest almost. She’s like a little sister to me,” Saint explained. “What’s really goin’ on here?”

Raphael sighed. “I think she’s cheatin’ on me, Man, or at the least just not feelin’ me anymore. I feel out of sorts. I know I work a lot, and she says I don’t spend enough time with her. She just seems distant. Then out of the blue, she says somethin’ about you puttin’ it down. It was unnerving.”

“Well, she could’ve gotten that from the media. Thanks to ‘Ms. Big Mouth,’ who wrote that tell-all book, all of my personal business got out,” Saint complained.