The Naughty List (23 page)

Rosalie put on a brave show. “How bad will it be?”

David raised an eyebrow. “Did you read the scroll?”

That didn’t bode well.
“Kinda,” she admitted uneasily, “but I didn’t understand everything.”

“Accepting the Lover’s Edict means constant monitoring by the wardens,” he spat out, “no privacy, everyone butts into our business until they decide to give permission.”

Brian put a hand on his shoulder. “Ways exist to make life easier while you two get through this. Meanwhile, we should get ready to face the wardens.” He glanced at his wife. “I pulled the raiment you asked for from the vault.”

Rosalie blinked. “Raiment?”

Grace nudged her playfully. “I did say you had to formally plead your case.”

So much for the show of bravery. Panic crawled up Rosalie’s throat. “I don’t own any raiment, only a couple of nice dresses I bought on clearancht hate.”

Brian winked. “Don’t worry. The Kloss family owns raiment out the wazoo.”

He grasped his wife. David pulled Rosalie into a tight embrace and the four of them dashed-away to New York. Grace immediately slipped her arm through Rosalie’s and ushered her to a guest room. Shoved against the wall sat a wooden antique chest decorated with an ornate diamond encrusted S. More precious gems studded the metal edging bands.

Grace touched the solid gold padlock securing the lid. “Open.” The lock sprung apart and dropped to the floor. She grinned at Rosalie. “Nice part about being a Kloss is you never need a key.”

The chest’s interior revealed a stunning assortment of rich fabrics and buttery soft leathers, not at all what Rosalie imagined. The clothing carried a wild dare-she-say feral look. Kloss women didn’t spend much time in the kitchen baking gingerbread. Rosalie ran her fingers across a silvery chainmail vest not simply decorative. Grace dug down deep and pulled out a crimson leather bustier embroidered in gold runes and studded with pearls.

“Wow.”

“Hot stuff, right?” Grace chuckled. “Integrals had a savage past.” She held the bustier up to Rosalie. “I think this will do nicely.”

“It’s gorgeous, but…” She eyed the piece with skepticism.

“Too sexy? My advice is to knock the wardens’ socks off. Integrals respect courage. An outfit like this says you’re totally confident and not afraid of anything.” Grace gave her a comforting pat and then excused herself to change.

Rosalie pawed through the chest. She found raiment galore, all right, along with a decorative case filled with jewels and a dagger in a ruby studded sheath. She held the knife up in awe, knowing her hand gripped a small fortune.

Knock their socks off, eh?

Rosalie put aside the bustier then selected a long velvet skirt, slit up to the thigh, decorated with more pearls. A matching velvet cape trimmed in fur joined the pile. Last, she pulled out a pair of hand-tooled high heeled lace-up boots made of some kind of reptile hide. She rejected all of the jewels and instead wore only David’s necklace which meant more than anything to her.

Rosalie stripped down. To her disappointment, the bustier was too big.

“What the hell?”

She let out a sputtering squeak as the bodice tightened up, conforming to all the curves of her body, lifting and tucking better than a board certified plastic surgeon. Cautiously, she slipped on the skirt. Of its own accord, the material settled low and snug on the hips, the hem immediately adjusted to a perfect length. The boots fit like a second skin. She flapped her arms around like a spooked chicken trying to maintain her balance as the heels rose and lowered until settling on an acceptable height. The clothes now felt tailored solely for her body. Her lips twisted in a grin. A little E.L.F. magic goes a long way.

With Grace’s advice ringing in her ears, for a final touch she tucked the dagger into a gold sheath strapped to her wrist. “Not afraid of anything,” Rosalie murmured.

Now, for the reveal. She took a deep breath, turned around, and eyed herself in the full length mirror. Rosalie gawked at the transformation. Unconsciously, her shoulders squared. She not only looked like a barbarian queen, damn it, she felt like one, too.

A soft tap sounded at the door. “Rosalie?” David called. “Are you ready?” Nervously she smoothed down her skirt and let him in. David’s mouth dropped open. He eyed her up a ey"jund down. “Wow. You look amazing.”

She flushed with pleasure. “You look pretty good yourself.” David wore a tight leather doublet the same crimson leather as Rosalie’s, decorated with gold runes. They glowed faintly as he moved. Strapped at his waist was a short sword with scabbard, held in place by a leather belt with a gold buckle. Gold bands bordered with emeralds and more of the mysterious runes encircled each wrist. The cape slung across his broad shoulders was made of the same fur-trimmed velvet as Rosalie’s.

He offered his arm and led her into the living room where Brian and Grace waited, both dressed in deep forest green and brown leather. Grace donned a long off-the-shoulder dress. She grinned at the sight of Rosalie’s dagger and lifted her hem to show off one tucked into her high-heeled boot. Brian’s outfit was similar in style to David’s except he and Grace also sported ornately jeweled diadems. After all, he was
the
Santa, head of the clan E.L.F. Brian eyed Langbor’s necklace and kissed Rosalie on the cheek. “I approve.”

“So do I,” echoed Grace. “Selka’s clothes are lovely on you.”

“Selka?”

Grace’s eyes twinkled impishly. “She was Langbor’s wife. You’re wearing her wedding outfit. In hindsight, giving her the dagger as a wedding present was a huge mistake I’m certain Langbor later regretted. By the way, family myth says the clothes only fit women with Selka’s approval.”

Rosalie relaxed. She wore the duds of an uppity human who never let an Integral intimidate her. She imagined Selka shouting a rousing
Ooh rah!
in her ear.
“Now what?” she asked.

“We go to the wardens’ chamber, and you plead your case,” answered Brian. “They’ll ask questions to determine your fitness. I warn you, they are allowed get as personal as they want, and Dominic will try to rattle you. If the wardens approve the request, you and David will have to agree to their rules.”

Rosalie’s heart beat wildly as the dash-away kicked in. A moment later they stood in the waiting area outside the conference room. A crowd packed the hall, more so than last time. Nobody, but nobody wore a New York designer label. She tried hard not to gawk at the wild assortment of jewels, fur, leather, silk, and armament. She recognized a few of the people. Sadhri was decked out in a gold breast plate studded with precious gems. She carried not just one sword strapped to her back, but two. Billy and the other members of his pack stood nearby wearing black leather with diamond studded dog collars. They also had black capes, held in place with a silver clasp of a snarling hound’s head. The ruby eyes glowed brilliant red.

Without a sound, the door to the great hall opened wide. The crowd backed up and separated into two lines facing each other, a silent gauntlet leading straight from Rosalie to the wardens.

“You have to go first,” David whispered. He kissed her hand. “Rosalie, if you don’t want to do this, we’ll leave right now. I’ll understand.”

She covered his lips with her fingers. Maybe her attitude could be attributed to all the leather. Maybe the dagger at her wrist gave her courage. Maybe the coin from a drunken forest deity encircling her neck had a magic all its own. Rosalie’s fears drifted away. David was hers. They belonged together. If building a relationship meant becoming part of this costume drama so be it. Besides, she looked damned good in this kick-ass bustier. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

Relief flooded through him. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Without hesitation she stepped forwa st.”

As she passed Sadhri, the shiva drew a sword. For an instant, Rosalie’s heart stopped until Sadhri saluted and barked. “Give’m hell.” The hellhounds led by Billy let out a howl of approval. As she marched through the gauntlet other Integrals followed suit.

She caught the eye of Malcolm the dryad in a toga. “You go, girl!” he shouted.

Confidence soaring, Rosalie entered the chamber with David and his parents right behind her. The wardens also wore their finery. Stephen Lundberg sported a horned helmet encrusted with emeralds. The Baal wore silver chainmail over a black leather jerkin. He had a crown too, but made entirely of flames. For an instant Rosalie faltered. Dominic eyed her dismissively.

Selka would spit in his eye.
She swallowed her fear and glared back.

The Odin motioned to Rosalie to step forward. David, Brian, and Grace positioned themselves behind her. Rosalie’s heart pounded wildly waiting for spectators to be seated. The gallery was standing room only before the large chamber doors swung closed on silent hinges.

“State your name for the record,” boomed the Odin.

“Rosalie Thatcher.”

“Rosalie Thatcher, are you here to make formal application in accordance with the Lover’s Edict?”

“I am.”

“Is there an objection to the application?”

The Odin rolled his eyes as the Baal cleared his throat. “The human and E.L.F. commenced an unapproved relationship without regard to Integral law. In accordance with the statutes, the romance must immediately cease.”

“With respect,” Brian jumped in. “The wardens enacted the Lover’s Edict to protect both human and Integrals from involuntary unions hazardous to Integral existence. My son acted prematurely, but my wife and I have no objection to his romantic involvement with Rosalie Thatcher. On the contrary, Rosalie proved to be a human of courage and fortitude. We whole-heartedly accept her.”

The crowd murmured approval. Rosalie even noted the softening expressions of the other wardens. The only one who didn’t look pleased was the Baal.

“As the family offers no objection,” continued Stephen, “we will proceed under the dictates of the Lover’s Edict. Is the cupid present?” Natalie Jankowski approached the table. Instead of a business suit she wore a floaty silk robe decorated in feathers and sparkling gems. She might have appeared comically silly except for the serviceable long bow and quiver of razor-sharp arrows strapped to her back. “Is the preliminary report completed?”

The cupid bowed. “Yes, your honors.” She unrolled a scroll tucked under her arm, cleared her throat, and read. “Rosalie Thatcher commenced a romantic relationship with David Kloss in November of this year without regard to the dictates of the Lover’s Edict. Although she possesses an active libido, they have not yet had coitus.”

Rosalie’s blush matched her crimson bustier nicely. A hushed whisper rippled through the gallery. Oh geez, she groaned inwardly, no wonder the seats are packed.

“While not possessing an extensive romantic history,” noted Ms. Jankowski. “Ms. Thatcher ended a sexual relationship last December with a human male.”

“Excuse me,” Rosalie sputtered, mortified. “I hardly see where that is anyone’s business.”

“Did Rosalie Thatcher tell the human male she loved him?” interrupted the Baal.

“She did,” the cupid asserted.

Rosalie glowered at him. “The relationship with Austin is over and has nothing to do with David and me.”

“On the contrary,” Dominic argued, the flames in the crown dancing around his head, “the relationship ended even after physical intimacy and a profession of love. How do we know the same won’t happen here?” He motioned around the room. “What kind of assurance do we have the secret of this place…of our people…will remain safe if Rosalie Thatcher and David Kloss go their separate ways? She has already seen much. Why should she be trusted?”

David stormed up to the table. “Rosalie’s past means nothing. I trust her. She’s not the only one who had sex before, you know.” He glanced at Rosalie and flushed with embarrassment.

“The E.L.F. speaks the truth,” noted Natalie pleasantly. “If the wardens desire, I’ll provide exact details of both Ms. Thatcher and the E.L.F’s sexual exploits including dates, duration, and preferred methods of—”

“That won’t be necessary,” the Odin said hurriedly much to the disappointment of the gallery.

“Look,” Rosalie stammered. “I admit I had a serious boyfriend once before. I told Austin I loved him, but even after only knowing David a short time, my feelings run much deeper. I’m glad the relationship with Austin ended. He wasn’t right for me and, by the way…” She drew herself up. “I was really hurt and angry, but didn’t slash his tires or anything. I didn’t need or want revenge. I only wanted to move on. If David and I broke up…” She swallowed hard. Even the thought pained her. “It would be awful. It would break my heart but, I’d never do anything to hurt him or any of you.”

The Baal shot her a dismissively look. “Your word hardly insures—”

“Excuse me,” Rosalie thundered, much to the shock of the Baal and the amusement of the audience. “I’m not finished yet. What I’m trying to say is I thought what I felt for Austin was love. I was wrong. What I have for David is a thousand times stronger; true, deep, real, and never-ending.” She glanced at the E.L.F. and a joyous sensation flooded through her. “The happiest moment of my life was when David said he loved me. Whatever you want me to do I’ll do. I’ll climb mountains, swim seas…hell, I’ll even go back to high school and retake algebra. Anything to keep us together.”

To Rosalie’s astonishment, Ms. Jankowski voiced her support. “Ms. Thatcher is correct in her determination. Her feelings run very deep. Although, as you know, true love isn’t binding until the first sexual encounter, Ms. Thatcher and the E.L.F. appear to have already forged a cohesive attachment.”

David grabbed Rosalie’s hand. “If that’s another way of saying I love her, too, than I have no argument. I love Rosalie Thatcher!” he shouted. “And no Lover’s Edict will prevent me from letting everyone know. So tell us what to do to get on with our lives.”

The audience cheered and the Odin banged on the table for quiet. “In that case,” he said unsuccessfully hiding a smile. “I see no reason why we shouldn’t proceed. Rosalie Thatcher and E.L.F. David, do you agree to abide by the Lover’s Edict until the wardens are satisfied no threat to Integral existence comes from this union?”