The Natural Superiority of Women (51 page)

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Authors: Ashley Montagu

Tags: #Social Science, #Anthropology, #Cultural, #Women's Studies, #test

BOOK: The Natural Superiority of Women
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13
Changing Traditions
Discontent is the mother of progress. Necessity is the mother of invention. And since discontent is almost a necessary condition of the life of the average educated woman of our day, progress and invention in the area of woman's place in the world are inevitable. Major changes have already occurred, such as the number of women in the work force and the professions. Others will continue to occur at an accelerating rate. The important thing is to see that we don't make too many mistakes; though we should avoid precipitancy we should not worry too much about wrecking the machinery of traditional social organization by exceeding the speed limit of rational inquiry; there need be no concern on that score, for we can expect the inertia of tradition to continue to some extent in the great tradition of tradition; namely, to act as a governor upon those who may be inclined to accelerate beyond the speed limit.
At this point it is very necessary to say some things that may rile some feminists. Friends, I hope, can be frank; let enemies be cautious. While the feminist movement has done much good by strenuously promoting women's rights in many ways, it has to some extent demeaned the family, and the unsurpassably important role of mother, wife, and child, and slighted the issue of individual choice. There are, however, clear

 

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signs that these attitudes toward the family are changing, and that we may predict calmer weather. The educated woman in the Western world finds herself faced with a peculiarly complex dilemma. She is educated to appreciate and to contribute to the world in which she lives in a much broader capacity than that of wife and mother. She wants to be a good wife and mother, but she also wants to participate in a significant manner in the work of the world outside the home. She subscribes completely to the view that the home is the most influential environmental factor in the molding of the human personality. She wants the love of her husband and children and the shared responsibility of making good human beings of her children, but she also feels that she has capacities and abilities that cry out for exercise and for the discipline of applying her mind to some useful purpose outside the home. But how can she be a good mother, a good wife, a good homemaker, and have a job outside the home too? I don't know whether anyone has ever given the answer to this question which I shall shortly attempt. I can only express the hope that its simplicity will not be too startling, or that it will not be thought too silly or impractical.
There still exists a general feeling that the married woman worker constitutes something of a problem. A married woman, it has been traditionally held, is the wife of her husband; her duty is to minister to his needs and those of their children. The husband's duty is to provide for the family; it is the wife's to look after the family. Many married women, and particularly those who have enjoyed the benefits of a college education, find the traditional view of the occupational roles of husband and wife too one-sided. Certainly, a wife should fulfill the obligations that are traditionally expected of her, but she has a right to expect her husband to do this in partnership with her. She should also have a right to a life of her own. If a married woman wishes to work, she should, when the conditions are appropriate, be free to do so, but her first responsibility should be toward her children, and this means staying at home and caring for them for at least their first halfdozen years. Many women have been sold a bill of goods by a vociferous minority of individuals in the women's movement, who have rejected the evidence of the importance of the mother's role in closely nurturing her children. These individuals are quite untroubled by the scientific evidence that has enriched our

 

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understanding of the indissolubly necessary bonding and mutuality, the attachment, that must develop between mother and child. Why? Because it is fundamentally necessary for the health physical and emotional development of the child.

1

Motherhood is a privilege and the most important
of all the occupations in the world .
It is not something that can be relegated to someone else or to a "quality" day-care center. There is no such thing as a part-time mother. For a married woman to be gainfully employed outside the home is in no way incompatible with her being a good wife and a good mother, and were the conditions essential for a happy family lifeenjoyment of parenthood, of mothering, and also of fatherhoodmade routinely available, this would be a far healthier society than it is today. We shall make some practical suggestions toward this end a little later in this chapter.
The changes that have been proceeding during the last fifty years in the occupational roles of women may come as a great surprise to many who read these pages. The proportion of U.S. families with both spouses in the labor force increased from 11 percent (almost 3 million couples) in 1940 to 22 percent (more than 7.3 million couples) in 1950. In 1997, more than half of the nearly thirty million U.S. families with children under the age of 14 were headed either by two working parents or a single working mother. In that same year, more than 60 percent of mothers with children under the age of six were in the workforce, and 76 percent of women with school-age children were similarly employed outside the home. Women comprised 46 percent of the total labor force in 1997, and according to the U.S. Department of Labor, jobs for women will account for 59 percent of total labor force growth by the year 2006. Fifty-nine percent of all women over the age of sixteen are labor force participants; this percentage increases to nearly 70 percent when for women between the ages of twenty and fifty-four.
These statistics reflect and give point to a major social and human revolution the importance, character, and consequences of which can hardly be overemphasized. It is a revolution which continues to bring about profound changes in the ways we think about ourselves and in the arrangements in which we order our lives and those of our children and other dependents. In short, something of a reorganization of society as we have known

 

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it, beginning with the family, is indicated. While it is true, as an ancient Greek remarked, that foresight is the last of the gifts granted by the gods to man, it is easy to see that the changes in family structure and functions due to the presence of millions of women in the work force will require completely new approaches to the challenges they present. The Department of Labor, the universities, and every possible private agency, new and old, ought to be engaged in planning for the New Age that is upon us, the Age of Partnership, of Cooperation, of Attachment.
It should be clear that we are already faced with a crisis that will not go away, but which will increase in intensity at an accelerating rate unless we put in place a public policy that satisfactorily meets the needs of parents and children in a land which only dimly perceives that a problem exists. The crisis, the problem, is: How do we meet the needs of everyone involved in the families of working mothers? In talking and writing about the problem which faces the working mother especially, namely, the freedom to work and at the same time take care of the child, the importance and primacy of the child somehow tends to get lost in the debate. What must always be the primary consideration is the wellbeing of the child. Whatever arrangements may be made for the future, it is well to remember that there is no substitute for a loving mother, not even a loving father, for fathers are unable to breastfeed their children, and breastfeeding should be available to every child for at least a year, preferably longer, for the benefits of the child as well as the mother.

2

Most authorities agree that children under three are better off with their mothers at home. Yet it is working mothers with children under three years of age who constitute the fastest growing segment of the work force. Many of these women will be employed in service or other positions during nonstandard hours, meaning they will work a schedule different from the traditional nine-to-five schedule. By the age of three, children need the experience and friendship of other children and people, and daycare centers can provide such opportunities. Until we have put in place those far better arrangements which I am about to suggest, we have to do what we can, as interim measures, with the following: maternity leave up to full pay for several years; paternity leave for a period to be determined according to the requirements of the situation; modulated working hours for

 

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parents; childcare arrangements in the workplace; childcare services in nursery and public schools; private care centers; childcare centers; family day-care homes; federal guidelines for childcare standards, registration, and licensing; before-and afterschool programs; babysitters and the likeall should be as accessible as are our public schools in every community. These should be basic requirement, and this is where enlightened minds, and women in particular, must become so politicized, who by their organization and relevant pressures will bring about these necessary changes. Such arrangements should be fully supported by the government, as in Sweden, where the government encourages women to work, and their work force participation rates are nearly equal to those of men. In Sweden more than 90 percent of women twenty-three to fifty-four years old are in the work force. Were government-financed childcare systems so widely accepted by the public to be instituted here, more women would undoubtedly choose to work here.
Women today are in a privileged position. They have it in their power, by virtue of their indispensable presence in the work force in numbers which exceed those of men, to begin the rehumanization of society. Feminism has been more than good news, and for its accomplishments, in spite of some early errors, elicits our praise, but what is needed as a next step is a humanism. Women are now strategically well placed to bring the power of their numbers to bear upon the proper agencies, to make their voices heard and attended to, always remembering that some people are not so much hard of hearing as hard of listening. Toward this end one of the principal changes due to be made is the correction of the crazy sexual disparity that exists in the legislatures of the land, from federal to state and community. In this land in which there are always more women than men, and in which women live, on the average, six years longer than men, Congress is still shockingly short of equal female representation.
Let us here once more recall the words of Matthew Arnold: "If ever the world sees a time when women shall come together purely and simply for the benefit of the good of mankind, it will be a power such as the world has never known." More than a hundred years have passed since Arnold made that ringing pronouncement, and if it is to be realized it will only be by the

 

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politicalization that women seem to be ready for as the twentieth century draws to a close. Girls as well as boys must be taught to understand that politics is life, and encouraged to look forward to serving their country, not in the armed forces, but in the forces that will make arms a thing of the past, where in addition to work force and family, they will be equipped to serve their country at every level of government so that they may help to bring about a world of encouragement and opportunities for cooperative fulfillment.
We must learn to elect our legislators on the basis of their qualifications, first and foremost, as humane beings, with programs designed to solve problems and the knowledge and courage to work for the replacement of outmoded and wasteful institutions. This alone will require a complete reconstruction of the electoral system, and this especially is where women can play a major role. But that is a big subject that can hardly be dealt with here. Such changes will require a complete overhaul of our so-called educational system, which will function not as an array of instructional institutions but as truly educational enterprises, deigned to teach our children
how
to think rather than
what
to think, to develop that compassionate intelligence that will always put people before blueprints. Where teachers will be esteemed for what they are worth as educators, the acknowledged legislators of the world, and as such paid the highest salaries of any profession. This will, of course, require the training of such teachers for the privileged roles they will be called upon to play in the education of children from preschool to collegewhere every child's individuality will be recognized as a matter of course and be encouraged to grow and develop at his or her own rate, where the first qualification of a teacher will be the ability to love, and where children will learn to love by being loved. In the conduct of such a program it will become customary for parents and teachers to meet regularly to help each other in furthering the welfare of the child. Teachers, standing
in loco parentis,
will lay the groundwork that will enable the child in later years to become a loving parent. Where parenthood, the care of children, the most important of all the arts, replaces parentage, the perfunctory discharge of an onerous and restrictive obligation.
In this connection it is more than imperative to re-examine the grounds upon which we marry, the folklore, of loving that

 

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