The Mystery of Revenge (15 page)

She was staring at him, shocked to her core. “Why would you have to give up your career if you marry me?” she asked, feeling the cold sweat tripping down her
spine.

“Because I would be disturbed by you and your baby when I’m playing,” he said coolly without
irony.

She felt so cold that she started shaking uncontrollably. She had thought she was important to him; she had thought she was his love, his backbone, even his bank account before he had his competition. But apparently, he didn’t think
so.

It had been a week since she found and talked to an immigration lawyer. The lawyer told her she should be able to keep her legal status because the US government had recently granted everyone from mainland China a permanent residency if he or she came to the United States before 1990 in response to the Tiananmen massacre, which made the country unsafe for its expatriates to return. But she would have to reapply under the new law because her original application was based on her marriage and what she had in hand was a temporary green card, which could raise legal issues if she had been divorced. A couple of thousand dollars for the new application and legal fee should be sufficient, the lawyer
said.

To avoid the legal fees, he said, knowing she was living with her boyfriend, she should marry again. As the wife of an American citizen, she would be out of trouble for free. Besides, she really wanted to keep the baby who was the result of their everlasting love. She knew Tom would like to wait for a few years, but she thought she could make it work by moving out and getting herself a separate apartment with the baby—there were two studio apartments available in the building as Ms. White told her the day
before.

“You won’t be disturbed,” she told him. “We can live separately in the same
building.”

“What?” Tom was horrified after she explained. “Are you crazy? I can’t let you do that!” He looked at her incredulously as if she had asked for his dear
life.

“Why?” She was so angry that she started shouting at
him.

He was taken aback by her voice. “Because I’m not ready,” he said in a sullen voice while picking up his
clothes.

“What did you mean that you’re not ready?” Yi-yun got up and ran after him, still naked. “We’ve been living together for quite a while
now.”

“Living together doesn’t mean I’m ready for a marriage,” he replied dryly, without looking at her. “I’d been living with several girls before, and I’m still
single!”

“But we are different,” Yi-yun was furious. She divorced Fang Chen so she could be with him, she gave up her comfortable life so she could help him financially, and she devoted her time so he could pursue his career carefree. “I’ve been sacrificing my life for you, and I need the marriage right
now!”

“I appreciate your support, honestly,” he said rather unenthusiastically. “But—”

“Do you love me?” she interrupted him and pulled him back to face
her.

“Yes, I do,” he said impatiently, trying to get free from her grip. His beautiful forehead was covered with dark clouds. “I love you, but I’m not ready to marry
you.”

“What do you want me to do then?” she demanded. “If I don’t get married, I’ll have to pay several thousand dollars for legal fees and might have to go back to school full-time.”

“Why don’t you go back to school full-time?” Tom asked irritatingly. “Then you can get a professional job.” He turned away and murmured under his breath, “For Christ’s
sake!”

“Yeah, who’s going to pay for my tuition?” she snapped. His cold reaction made her boil inside. Not long ago, he himself had to work several jobs to make ends meet. Had he already forgotten how difficult it
was?

“You are,” he retorted without blinking his eyes. “If you worked full time, you’d make more than enough to handle tuitions and
fees.”

“I can’t work full time as well as study full time! I only have twenty-four hours a day. If you’ve forgotten, I’m also pregnant!” She was so enraged that she screamed at the top of her
lungs.

“Oh my God, here it comes again,” Tom groaned, pulling his hairs in frustration. “I’ve told you a hundred times already that you can’t have it!” He grabbed her arms and shook her madly. “You have to give it up! I can’t have a kid right now, I’m telling you! I won’t allow
it!”

She started crying. “Oh, Tom, it’s your child
too!”

He let go of her. “Yes, it’s mine,” Tom said dejectedly. “It’s my fault. We should’ve been more careful. But, Yi-yun, we’re both too young to have a child right now. You’re not even twenty-four!” He went to their bedroom and came back with his wallet. “Here, I will pay for the
abortion.”

He could see the tears, then the fire in her eyes. “No, I’m not going to,” she said, refusing to accept his money. “It’s our kid, and I want to keep
it.”

“I’m not going to let you ruin my career! I’ve been working too long for it, and you can be damn sure I won’t let you ruin it!” he hissed, mad with
rage.

She glared at him as if she had never seen him before. Here was the man she loved. For him, she had thrown away everything she’d ever wanted—a loving husband, a comfortable home, and a bright future. What did she get from him in return? Nothing! Somehow, he had managed never even to inconvenience himself once for
her!

At that moment, she knew for sure that Tom Meyers had never loved her. He chased her only because he needed her. He was always self-centered even when he was poor and struggling. Hadn’t he been telling her all along that the only thing that mattered in his life was his piano? How could she be so blind and naive? If she had known, she would have stayed in her marriage and with Fang Chen who loved her and would have done anything to protect
her.

“Please, Yi-yun, can we wait? If you could only give me a few more years,” Tom was holding his wallet, pleading with
her.

But she didn’t hear him. Her mind had strayed so far away that she didn’t even notice Tom had gone into their bedroom and closed the
door.

The next morning, Tom was gone when Yi-yun woke up. On the kitchen table, he left her a note, saying he was on his way to the summer tour, which Yi-yun had totally forgotten due to her pressing
issues.

She sat on her bed, sobbing bitterly. The sudden anger and agony was inflated by the fact that he had simply left her without trying to resolve their differences. A full month! What would she become after another month? She would be six months pregnant with no prospect for
marriage!

What a mess! In fact, she couldn’t blame anyone for the mess she was in because she should have known. Tom Meyers was in love with his piano, which was his life, his lover, and his child. He also loved sex, but he could have sex without commitment to a marriage. She was just one of the women he had used in his grand scheme to become successful. Stupid of her, she didn’t walk away like all of his other girlfriends did, so she got
hurt.

Her heart wrenched with pain when she remembered the life she had left behind almost a year ago. Even though Fang Chen was the culprit for her current legal problems, she could never blame him. Why shouldn’t he be mad since she treated him so badly and betrayed him so heartlessly? Remembered how much he had wanted a child? He would cry with joy if he knew she was pregnant with his
child.

Oh, poor Fang Chen! If only she knew, she would’ve never left
him!

It was too late now. She had thrown everything away because she had fallen in love, yet the love brought her nothing but miseries. What was her future? There would be no husband, no money but an unwanted child. How much worse could it
be?

She bit her lips to prevent a scream when she thought of the dream that she used to have. A big house and a beautiful yard, a college degree, and a rich husband—for a short while, she did make it a
reality.

“A dream is only a dream,” her mother said to her when she found out her daughter was heading to America, the remote country where people spoke different languages and had different skin colors. “When you wake up, it is your home you’ll miss.” It was a sad day; her mother almost cried her eyes out. “Please don’t go,” she
begged.

“Mama,” Yi-yun said impatiently. “I have to go.” She had wanted it for so long that she wouldn’t give it up for her mother or for anyone
else.

“Why?” Poor mother, she could never understand why her child had a
dream.

“It’s because I want to live a better life than you do.” For almost twenty years, her life in China had been anything but exciting. Before she read that fateful magazine, which opened her eyes to a totally different world, she could only foresee herself being old and worn out just like her parents, having no prospects, no fun, and living in the same city where they were born. No, she would not live like them. She wanted to live differently. She wanted to see the world and enjoy life while she
could.

“You will regret it someday, my child,” her father said to her the day before she left for America. “Nowhere in the world is better than your own home.” It was strange that a strong-minded man liked her father would love his poor and boring home so
much.

She almost regretted her action when she struggled to make ends meet the first year. Without money, life in America could be worse than it was in China. To be able to buy a brand-name shirt, she had to skip dinners for weeks, whereas in China, there wouldn’t be such a shirt to tempt her. To pay for her tuition, she had to suffer, beaten up and ordered around by Coffin Face whereas in China she could go to college for free—her parents would pay for it. Never in her dreams had Yi-yun prepared herself for such a hellish
life.

It all came to an end when she married Fang Chen, who supported her throughout the years when they were together until she was caught by the cross fire of love. Because of love, she walked away from her good fortune. Because of love, she went back to work and took pride in living on her own. But what did she get from her love? Nothing but a broken
dream.

Her heart ached so painfully that she had to bend down, dropping her head into her hands. What could she do now? She cried. Where could she
go?

Slowly, she got up and walked toward the old dresser that sat in the corner of their bedroom. In one of her drawers, she kept a few letters her parents had written to her. In one of them, they asked her to come home for a visit. “Bring Tom along,” her mother wrote. Because of the growing economy due to Deng Xiao Ping’s open market policies, they could afford to buy two international round-trip tickets for her, their beloved daughter, and her future husband, the talented
musician.

Tears rolled down one after another as she read and reread the letters. Poor Mama and Papa, they would be heartbroken if they knew what had happened to their daughter. Yes, she could always go home; she would be welcomed and embraced by her parents no matter what, but she couldn’t. She could never go back as a failure. What would other people say if they knew? What would her friends say? She would rather die than face the
humiliation.

Her heart sank when she thought of death. It might be the only way out if she didn’t want to go back to where she started because even if she got an abortion, she still had to pay her lawyer to clean up the legal headaches. Yes, she could work full time and make enough money to pay for all, but then what? She couldn’t live with Tom anymore after knowing he had never loved her and would never love her. She couldn’t go back to Fang Chen because she had burned her bridges. Could she support herself? Yes, but did she want to do it all over again? No. She hated the job; she took it the second time only because she had a purpose. When the purpose was gone along with her dream, it would be
unbearable.

She
shuddered.

If she moved out now, there would be no helping hands from anyone, definitely not from Tom who didn’t even pay for her clothing after she lost them because of him. It took her more than three months to replace half of her necessities. Oh God, how could she have been so
blind?

The sun had moved into the living room. It was almost eleven in the morning. Hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday at China Dragon, Yi-yun was lightheaded and painfully
hungry.