The Murder of Jeffrey Dryden: The Grim Truth Surrounding Male Domestic Abuse (20 page)

Chiquita’s Aunt Comments on This Book
(without my comments… see below for my response) this is taken
word-for-word with how she wrote it.

Hi Troy: We, as the family
of Chiquita, find your book very disturbing with falsifications of
our beloved sister, niece, daughter and cousin. We truly understand
the hurt, pain, and frustration of someone whom has lost a loved
one, but yet- you all all continue to attack and frustrate us as
well with what you are stating here! Write your book and post your
blogs and statements, but TELL THE TRUTH!!!!! We are not blaming
anyone for the passing of Jeff, yet- as a human being with
sense......no one knows what truly happened that day into the early
hours of that dreadful morning for both families. No one but
Chiquita and Jeff. I do not post this to be cruel, insensitive or
rude, but to speak out on my families behalf. We feel the pain and
hurt as well, and nothing really works as far as getting through
it, but God remains true and comforting. The events of that early
morning will obviously- never be told truthfully, but we will
remain in constant prayer for your family and ours as well. It is
truly amazing how you state above about derogatory and harmful
statements being posted on this blog, but yet- you call my niece a
killer....which she is not. You state opinions of my family's anger
through steering eyes and disturbing comments, which are not true.
You claim many things that were not present, but yet- you yourself
speak of God, as if-right????!!! Yes, it was a very hurtful,
painful and shocking blow for us all, i'm sure of this, but the way
you all have been going about this is upsetting for us as well. Who
are we to blame for this horrific incident forreal. You, this
corrupt society, or just the families of BOTH victims of
circumstance. What happened will not be forgotten, and we hae
extended our condolensces t the victims' family and even gave hugs
by some of the members that were there. So, you go on and write
your "tale" of one victim, instead of two. You tell your story of
Jeff and his demise, but we have one t tell as well, and it will be
told.....HONESTLY! I am pretty much sure that this may never be be
posted because it isn't from one of your fans or friends, but God
knws the truth and domestic violence just does not happen one way
always, it happens both ways. Even when one out of the two is
trying to protect themselves from someone who forces them to do so.
Most of you knew my niece, and just as you all suffer still, so do
we. I pray for the day that the real truth be told.
Blessings!!!!

Chiquita’s Aunts Comment on this Book
(with my comments added)

Hi Troy: We, as the family
of Chiquita, find your book very disturbing with falsifications
(what falsifications?) of our beloved sister, niece, daughter and
cousin. We truly understand the hurt, pain, and frustration of
someone whom has lost a loved one, but yet- you all all continue to
attack and frustrate us as well with what you are stating here!
Write your book and post your blogs and statements, but TELL THE
TRUTH!!!!! We are not blaming anyone for the passing of Jeff,
(cause the only one to blame is Chiquita) yet- as a human being
with sense......no one knows what truly happened that day into the
early hours of that dreadful morning for both families. No one but
Chiquita and Jeff (and the evidence she left behind).

I do not post this to be
cruel, insensitive or rude, but to speak out on my families behalf.
We feel the pain and hurt as well (what pain? What hurt? You can
see her anytime you want to right, talk to her and hear her words,
hear her say ‘I love you,” whenever you want), and nothing really
works as far as getting through it, but God remains true and
comforting.

The events of that early
morning will obviously- never be told truthfully, but we will
remain in constant prayer for your family and ours as well. It is
truly amazing how you state above about derogatory and harmful
statements being posted on this blog (this is in reference to a
statement I put on my blog, stating that derogatory and rude
comments made about the victim and his family would not be
allowed), but yet- you call my niece a killer....which she is not
(yet she plead no contest and is serving 14 years for a
murder).

You state opinions of my
family's anger through steering eyes and disturbing comments, which
are not true (according to Paula and what I personally observed
they were there).

You claim many things that
were not present (everything I stated was there), but yet- you
yourself speak of God, as if-right????!!! (Yep) Yes, it was a very
hurtful, painful and shocking blow for us all, i'm sure of this,
but the way you all have been going about this is upsetting for us
as well (not sure about that). Who are we to blame for this
horrific incident for real. You, this corrupt society, or just the
families of BOTH victims of circumstance (how about your niece that
had the knife in her hand and lied every step of the way as to what
really happened… how about we start there first).

What happened will not be
forgotten, and we have extended our condolences (ordinary at best)
to the victims' family and even gave hugs by some of the members
that were there. So, you go on and write your "tale" (I DID) of one
victim, instead of two (Well there was only one). You tell your
story of Jeff and his demise, but we have one t tell as well, and
it will be told.....HONESTLY! (good than it will look just like
mine)

I am pretty much sure that
this may never be be posted because it isn't from one of your fans
or friends(SO… SO WRONG ON THAT ONE), but God knws the truth and
domestic violence just does not happen one way always, it happens
both ways (where did you get that fact? Seriously where I want to
read it).

Even when one out of the
two is trying to protect themselves from someone who forces them to
do so (yeah Jeff tried his best). Most of you knew my niece, and
just as you all suffer still, so do we (no comment… I don’t want to
be too rude). I pray for the day that the real truth be told.
Blessings!!!!

CHAPTER 24

REBUTTAL

To Chiquita’s Family:

A part of me can see to some degree
where you’re coming from, as you are only defending your loved one,
never wanting to believe that they would lie to you, or deceive you
from the truth, but know this. No matter what you say, no matter
how you try to explain it, no matter how you try to phrase it, we
as Jeff’s family and friends will always see Chiquita as a
cold-blooded killer, a murderer that currently resides exactly
where she belongs.

To us the truth is ever so obvious, the
evidence as to what happened that morning ever so clear. As
evidence cannot lie, it cannot choose right from wrong, it knows no
color or creed, it has no belief or bias and has nothing to lose or
gain. It is what it is. To us the evidence collected that night
shows beyond a shadow of a doubt, beyond reasonable doubt, that not
only was Jeff being abused, but so too did Chiquita kill him that
night, knowing full well what she was doing. She is no victim; she
has no innocents, for all she is to us is guilt, full of lies… full
of deceit.

You should expect to see Jeff’s family,
Jeff’s friends sitting across from you on January 17 2025, the date
of her earliest release. You should expect to see us asking the
parole board at that time if she had yet to accept her guilt for
the crime for which she committed.

For if, she has not seen the errors of
her ways and admitted to her sin, her treachery. If she has
remained ignorant to the truth, for which we know so clearly. Not
seen the pain she caused to our family, and upon Jeff. You can
expect to hear us asking that she remain where she belongs. Behind
bars until her 66th birthday… still, sadly, doing much better than
the life of the victim she took.

CHAPTER 25:

CONCLUSION

Though this book was in part about
Jeffrey Dryden and the torment and pain he and his family was to
bear, this book also exposed the truth behind the veil, the truth
behind the curtain of deceit and lies our society has been spoon
fed to endure for so many years.

Before writing this book, the idea of a
man abused by his female lover was implausible and farfetched, at
that time I was like several other people of this society. I
willingly turned a blind eye to the belief, to the eventual
possibility that a man could be beaten to such a point as to be
abused by a woman let alone killed by one that would allow herself
to be called his lover. Yet oddly enough, there were so many things
around me, so many stories in the paper, that had I took a moment
to notice I would have seen it so clearly.

For instance, I can easily recall the
death of the comedian Phil Hartman, who starred on Saturday Night
Live as well as the hit comedy “News Radio.” I remember only a few
years ago about his traumatic murder by the hand of his wife, who
after an intense argument about her using drugs again, snuck into
the bedroom after he had gone to bed that night and shot him in the
head killing him instantly.

After his death, friends of the family
went to the press and reported that his wife, “Had issues
controlling her anger, and often times assaulted her husband in the
process (STAFF, 1998).” Yet even though I knew about how he was
killed and by whom the media never mentioned anything about
Domestic Abuse, let alone the idea of Male Domestic Abuse and thus
like so many others I went on, never thinking about it. Never
paying heed to the possibility.

It seems odd to know that Male Domestic
Abuse has been going on well since before I was born. Even harder
to believe that the majority of our society which so willingly
believes in the tolerance of others lifestyles would so knowingly
turn a blind eye at the concept, the idea of women abusing
men.

As I wrote this book, I found it almost
sickening that officers and lead organizers of women’s domestic
abuse societies willingly and knowingly turn away from the idea of
men being abused, blaming men for the actions women must inflict
upon them. Yet more so, I found it sickening that our society
places such a double standard upon female abuse versus male
abuse.

Studies have shown that women, more so
than men strike a lover or spouse first and more often while in a
relationship versus men. The only difference is, that when a man
hits, he causes more damage, thus allowing for more emergency calls
and more reports of domestic violence from men on women. In this
book, studies and reports have shown and proven that women, abuse
more for power and control. Furthermore they take advantage of
societies willingness to turn a blind eye, by attacking their
lovers knowing that men are taught (trained) to never hit a woman,
for fear of what might happen to them with the law, but women are
taught nothing in regards to hitting men… again a double
standard.

When it comes to my cousin Jeff, I now
know some of the pain and fear he must have been feeling every day
he was forced to go back to his apartment and gaze into the eyes of
his abuser. The fear that dwelled within him every time she hit
him, every time she came at him with a knife, knowing, at least for
the most part, that his story would never be believed.

How sad it is that we have allowed
ourselves to become so ignorant… so bleak to the true ways of this
world that we allow abuse to rein upon the lives of others. We
allow abuse to thrive on due to one’s sex, I have to wonder, if our
society would have been more excepting of the facts, more open to
the ideal notion of men being abused by their female partners,
would Jeff be here today? Would he be around to tell his mother how
much he loved her? Sadly, these answers shall never be
known.

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