Authors: Louise Bagshawe
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Contemporary, #Contemporary Fiction, #Literary
‘Yes, ma’am!’ Fred llorescu replied, smiling broadly.
‘It’s getting dark,’ Megan said.
She tried to keep the fear out of her voice. They had already spent one night in the undergrowth, but then she’d been unconscious, knocked cold by the fall. This evening itwould be different. Megan doubted if she’d sleep at al/, despite her exhaustion, every muscle seemed to shriek in protest as she took another step forward with her right foot, balanced her weight on the makeshift crutches and
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swung her useless left foot forward to join it. She had gone as fast as she could all day, refusing to stop for a rest despite Zach’s urging; Megan knew that if she sat down she’d never have been able to get back up. Twice she’d stumbled and fallen, screaming with pain as her swollen ankle jarred against some hidden rock or branch, and Mason had insisted on carrying her until her kicks and scratches finally persuaded him to put her down. Megan refused to wear Zach out: deep inside, although she was too scared to face the possibility fight now, was the feeling that maybe Zach was their only hope; maybe he’d have to leave her in the jungle and run on ahead, gambling that he could get out of the forest and that help would arrive quick enough to save her. Although somehow she doubted that they’d find her again; one patch of jungle looked much like another.
Well, Megan thought, gripped with gallows hurnour, at least this s a pretty spot for a grave.
Beautiful but dead/y; that summed up the mist forest. Gnarled northea and screwpine palms covered With damp moss and creepers, bright sunlight penetrating into the green gloom of the woodlands, primeval giant ferns rearing up everywhere under the jade canopy overhead. Brightly coloured birds swooped and plunged through the trees. The scent of wild cinnamon, vanilla orchids and passionflowers hung in the air, underlying everything along with the buzz ofir, sects and the calls of the tree frogs and the geckos. Never in her wildest dreams had Megan imagined any place so strange and lovely. But it was terrifying, too: twice Mason had’scooped herinto his arms, trembling and frozen with fear, and carried her several yards away from a scorpion; they had passed three huge hanging nests of yellow wasps, a savage genus of the species that could paralyse if they attacked in numbers; a thick Seychelles wolf snake had slithered out of some leaves and writhed right through Megan’s crutches, and although she knew they were harmless Megan had trouble suppressing
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her natural dread of the giant palm spiders, each on* size of a human hand, that hung from every other tre thick white cobwebs. She was frightened of nightfall, she couldn’t help it. She kept thinking about tarantulas, and the jungle would be swarming with bats. What she could cope with in the green and gold of daylight would become horrible, unbearable in the dark, the blackness crawling and slithering with nameless terrors.
Thank God she wasn’t alone. Zach had been with her
when she woke up and he had been by her side every step of the way, carrying her, comforting her, protecting her. Megan felt suffused with gratitude for the way the guy had behaved: picking her up when she needed help, joking around to distract her, forcing her to talk about herself
‘incessantly, so that she could get through the day. He’d never once complained over the way she was slowing them down; he would wait for her, with total patience, for as long as it took. And Megan knew she’d slowed them down. Despite all the agonies she’d put herself through, they couldn’t have travelled more than two mils in the wllole day.
Mason looked up at the patches of sky visible through
the treetops. Sunset was definitely falling, streaks of red and gold blazing across the darkening blue heavens like so many banners.
‘Looks like it. We’d better stop,’ he said, leading her
across to an overgrown mossy stump. ‘You sit there while I build a shelter. I’ll do it right away, before the light fails.’ He gave her a warm smile. ‘ILelax, you get to rest now You did great.’
‘Can I help?’ Megan asked, watching him cracking branches and stacking them against the bark of the nearest large tree.
‘No. This won’t take me five minutes,’ Zach told her, jumping up to rip offa few large leaves for thatching. He moved confidently, quickly, the muscles in his back sliding
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around under his tanned skin, his back covered in a thin sheen of sweat, the tattered shirt long since discarded in the heat and tied around his waist. Megan couldn’t help noticing how firm his thighs looked under the calfikin leggings, moulded round his body like a second skin. And his biceps were pretty impressive too, large and rock-hard, as though sculptured by a master craftsman.
David would kill to look like that, Megan thought, and was suddenly overwhelmed with embarrassment at her own stupidity. How could I ever have looked up to that guy? she wondered, blushing a deep red. He’s such a weasel, such a peacock, such an ass-kisser! And I acted like putty in his hands! I thought he was the talented one, even when somebody like Fred Florescu told me different. I let David dictate to me what I ate, what I wore - I let him stand over me while I worked out[ How pathetic can you get? And-just because I lost a little weight I convinced myself that I should put my life in his hands. But I was unhappy with how I looked anyway - I would have slimmed down of my own accord, with him or without him…
‘There you go,’ Zach said, standing back. He had finished a small wigwam-style hut of branches, palm fronds and leaves, backed up against the tree for security. ‘Not
exactly the tkitzCarlton, but it’ll have to do.’ ‘It’s wonderful,’ Megan told him. Zach glanced at her. ‘You’re blushing.’
‘I was thinking about David,’ Megan said truthfully.
He turned away and started threading a few more leaves into the thatch.
She took a deep breath. ‘I was thinking what an idiot I was ever to see anything in that guy. You were right, you know. He’s a complete jerk. We were fighting before we finally split up - I told him I was moving out of the hotel suite - and the next morning he came up to my room and told me to pack, because I was fired. Then he cam
running back twentyminutes later to tell me I wasn’t But I did realize he was an asshole before. Now, I just, understand why I ever thought any different.’
‘Now?’ Zach asked, his grey eyes watching her steadilyl ‘Now I’m here with you,’ Megan said, unthinkingly. Mason gave her a slow smile.
Megan felt the blush deepen to a rich crimson. ‘I didn’t
mean it how it sounded. It’s just that you - I meant, you’ve been so good to me today, you’ve been really manly about it. David would have left me -‘ Her voice trailed off in confusion.
The Tarzan, you Jane,’ Zach said, but his gaze was travelling slowly up and down her body, and Megan wasn’t completely sure he was joking.
‘Why did you go with David? I knew you were hanging
out together but I never saw you with him until the Electric City show.’
Megan shrugged. ‘He decided to make a move on me
then, though nothing much happened that night. Actually, I was grateful.- I was kind of embarrassed, standing there while you and Koxana were getting close.’
Zach glanced at her. ‘I only did that because I saw you
with Tauber. After we’d been talking. I was jealous, I
ess.’
‘You were jealous? I don’t understand,’ Megan said, feeling a warm wash of desire flood through her groin. Could he be saying wl3at it sounded like he was saying? ‘You were with Koxana Felix. She told me so, in that little booth on the stage, remember that? She was wearing the laminate, you got her.’ She tried to take the accusing note out of her voice and failed. ‘When you dedicated that song to me - this is going to sound really stupid, I know-I was so pleased. It meant a lot to me - because you were my hero, once. I grew up on Dark Angel.’ Now she was really abashed, blushing harder than ever. She looked down. Was there any way to say somethinglike that and not come
ffas another dumb groupie? Megan wondered. Because if there was, she surely hadn’t found it.
‘Why would you think that sounds stupid?’
‘Because I sound like a fan.’
‘Do you think I despise my fans?’ Zach asked. ‘I’m glad it meant something to you. That was the point. We didn’t write those songs so we could play them to ourselves in Nate’s garage. Even if we never expected what happened, we wanted to be heard.’
‘She told me that she and you had discussed it together. That you thought the two of you had been a little harsh on me, so you’d do that onstage to make me feel better. And then I felt like a moron, because it wasn’t your ideal It was
.O-,‘3’S. ‘
Zach Mason stared at her for a long moment, and finally
shook his head, laughing.
‘What?’
‘Megan. It was my idea, of course it was. tLoxana had nothing to do with it. The pass she was wearing, Sam Kendrick got for her. loxana Felix was never, ever, my girlfriend! She was sleeping with Sam. She still is. God, you must be the only person on the set who never realized that. She wanted to get together with me, but only for the publicity, or so she could use me. I told her I was interested in somebody else.’
‘Oh,’ Megan said blankly.
Somebody else? Did I miss something here? Who? I haven’t seen anyone else around - he can’t mean Mary, surely, she’s way too old…
‘I told her I was interested in you,‘Zach said.
Megan sat very still on the tree stump, trying not to breathe.
‘But you hate my hair. You were always so rude to me. You don’t like me,’ she stammered.
‘I preferred you the way you were before, that’s true: But I figured you were doing that for David.’
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‘I was doing it to get some attention,’ Megan muttered. Zach smiled at her, his eyes now full of desire. She felt
her nipples stiffening in response.
I don’t care if this is happening because we’re standing together. I don’t care if this is all lies, Megan thought fiercely. I want him. I must have him.
Long-submerged waves of longing were beating up in
her, making the blood warm under her skin, need pulling
at her crotch.
‘You always had my attention.’
‘I was frightened of you, because of who you were,’ Megan admitted.
He nodded, dark hair cascading round his shoulders. ‘And I was kind of frightened of you. Because you were so ,smart, so well educated, and I never even finished high
school.’
She stood up and walked carefully over to the hut. ‘Let me take those for you.’ Zach supported her as she let go her crutches, one arm carefully encircling her waist, then lowered her down onto the ground.
*You are one of the most intelligent men I’ve ever met,’ Megan told him, her brown eyes ftxed on his. She could feel the warmth of his body, the tight, naked skin next to her face, and fought back the urge to press her lips against it. This had to be taken slow. ‘You must be crazy. Don’t you understand that you were the voice, you were the focus, for our whole gentration? What did you think made them respond like that?’
‘It was just lyrics,’ he said, sitting next to her.
‘Yeah? And who wrote them, Zach? Who wrote all those songs? You did! And you said what we all believed. You spoke for us. That’s something you should be proud of, Zach. You have a genius with music and lyricism that thousands of kids would do anything for, and you’ve proved to be an incredible actor. You don’t need a little paper certificate to tell you you’re smart. And deep down
inside, you know that.’ She paused. ‘Why did you split the band?’
‘You really want to know?’
She nodded, and he settled next to her, pressing his body up against hers. The touch of his skin was electrifying.
Zach closed his eyes briefly. ‘I had always written everything. And last Christmas, Nate came to me with two songs he’d laid down, on kis own, when there was a break from touting. I told him I couldn’t use them. He said he wanted to talk to the other guys. And I freaked. I said I was always going to write all the songs.’ He tapped one rough hand on his knee. ‘Dark Angel was my baby, Megan. It was my vision, it had been from the beginning, from before our first guitarist left and Nate joined. Maybe I was feeling threatened. I don’t know.’
‘So what happened?’ she asked gently.
‘We hd a fight.’ He shrugged. ‘A lot ofshit got said that couldn’t be taken back. And then Yolanda Henry, our manager, came in on Nate’s side. She said they were good songs, and we should use them. I was bitter, I was really incensed. I fired Yolanda and split the band. And within days there was David, pouring oil all over my wounded ego, pushing the right buttom. He asked me if I’d like to try acting, and it sounded good - a chance to show the other guys that I had talent, I could make it without Dark Angel. And that’s it. Not very noble.’
‘But you believed his songs would hurt your vision of the band,’ Megan said
‘You know what? I wsh[ cotild te you that was true. I wish I could say that I acted with integrity. But it’s not, and I didn’t.’ Mason glanced at Megan. ‘They were great songs, leally beautiful. And I got jealous, I got protective .. I thought I was so cool, but when it came right down to it I was just another bigshot with an ego. Yolanda wouldr’t bullshit me when I wanted her to. She had integrity. So, I fired her.’
He fell silent.
‘Go easy on yourself, Zach.’
‘I can’t. I split my band, for nothing.’
Megan grinned. ‘So what? When we get out of here,
you fire David, call Nate Surer up, apologize, put the band back together, reinstate Yolanda Henry and apologize to her too. I think it’s great. I get to be responsible for Dark Angel getting back together. I’ll be the biggest underground heroine since Courtney Love.’
‘Just like that, huh?’
‘Yeah. Just like that. What’s stopping you?’
‘Are you serious?’ ,Zach asked, turning to her. His thundercloud eyes stared tight into hers, and Megan felt her crotch tighten.
‘I’m totally serious. Why not? I’m sure they’re feeling
just as bad about it as you are.’ Feeling hot, flustered at his