The Motel Life (19 page)

‘He was too sick to make it back to his ranch so he had us bring in lawyers from the States and he wrote his will, leaving his spread, his ranch in Elko, to you and me. We all sat around him the last couple days. He held meetings with us, final coaching and counseling, preparing us for the life that would be before us. Then on a warm rainy night old man Jenkins passed on, and Jesus, were we sad. Willie Nelson found me in the street with a bottle of whiskey crying in the rain. That’s how he wrote that damn song “Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain” ’cause my blue eyes were crying in the rain.

‘You howled at the moon and the sea and the sky and drank tequila for two weeks straight. You moved in with a Mexican hooker to a shack by the sea. You’d drink with her and she’d cook and take care of you. And each night as the stars and the moon appeared you’d start up howling and crying. Me and Willie and Earl played hearts, drank tequila, and smoked weed for weeks on end. Then Earl got a telegram and had to go back to the car lot, so he flew out in a biplane. He circled three times and nearly hit a palm tree before he finally headed back to the States.

‘Then one morning you appeared with three horses in a desperado’s outfit. You were dressed in black, wearing a large sombrero, carrying a gun with an ammunition belt across your chest. “Let’s ride,” you called to me and Willie. You threw us each our desperado outfit, and we slowly rode our way up north, through parts of California, through the desert of Nevada, and finally back home to the high desert country, to our home, to our ranch. And we called our ranch the Flannigan Jenkins ranch, and you, me, and Willie Nelson would work the cattle and grow the alfalfa, and when winter hit we’d go on the road with Willie Nelson. “On the road
again,” you’d always say, and then Willie’d laugh and say, “Hell, that sounds even better than when you said it was a Bloody Mary morning. I gotta write that down too.” Old Willie, he wasn’t famous yet, but he was getting there. And we went all over, east coast, west coast, England, Australia, Greece, and Spain. Then when spring would come we’d be back on the ranch, all three of us. Just working the cattle and growing the alfalfa. The End.’

‘That was a goddamn good one,’ Jerry Lee said and sat up. ‘You think our racehorses made it all right?’

‘Yeah, the dog took care of them. He’d drag the alfalfa down from the barn to them and guard them. He got in a death match with a pack of wolves and kicked the shit out of them all.’

‘Good,’ cause that was my next question, the dog, I mean.’

‘No, he was fine. A little banged up, but okay.’

‘I’m gonna sleep to that, to that story. Let’s not talk anymore. I don’t want to lose it.’

‘Okay,’ I said and we fell quiet.

29

THE DOG BEGAN WHINING
early the next morning so I got myself dressed and took him out. The streets were empty and it was already windy. It couldn’t have been much over ten degrees, but we walked around until we found a school where I could throw the tennis ball around for him. He ran hard in the cold, his breath coming from him in a fog before disappearing into the morning air.

He wore out pretty quick, so we began the walk downtown to find a place to eat breakfast. Cars began to appear with more frequency. People going to work, kids probably going to school. I made it to the main street and found a diner. It was crowded inside and I sat at the counter and ordered eggs and ham with a side order of bacon for the dog.

As I sat there I began to get nervous thinking that any of the people I saw could be her, Annie James. When the waitress passed by I thought her face would be Annie’s. When someone sat
across from me I’d look up nervously thinking it might be her, that she was going to be coming through the door at any time with a new boyfriend, maybe with a family, or even her mom. I was worried about all that. I wanted to see her. Hell, that’s why I’d dragged us all the way there, to Elko. Jerry Lee hadn’t worked it out yet, but there wasn’t any other reason. It was pretty selfish of me, that I knew.

I ate as much as I could, then got a coffee to go, paid my tab, and left. Outside the dog was curled up in a ball near the newspaper machines. I bent down and petted him and opened the sack and dropped the bacon down on the sidewalk.

We walked around some more, went past the Commercial and Stockman Casinos, then past the small industrial section and over the dry and faded Humboldt river.

When I finally made it back to the room Jerry Lee wasn’t in his bed. I went to the bathroom and found him on the floor, crying. He was wearing only his underwear and had urinated on himself.

‘I tried to take a leak,’ he told me, ‘but I couldn’t make it to the toilet. I lost all my strength and started getting dizzy, so I thought I’d sit on the floor for a bit, but then I couldn’t get up. But I still had to go. Now I’m a fucking mess.’

‘You’ll be all right,’ I said. But he looked like a ghost. The bandage around his leg was stained yellow and I wasn’t sure what to do.

‘Just leave me here, I don’t care anymore.’

‘Don’t say that.’

I went over to him and helped him up and sat him on the toilet and he began crying again.

‘I’m a failure,’ he said.

‘You’re just hurt, that’s all. You know how to clean your leg?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘It’s all covered in piss. I think we ought to change the bandage.’

‘I don’t care,’ he said again.

‘I’ll go to the store and get that white tape … maybe some gauze, hydrogen peroxide. Maybe we could wrap the leg in a plastic bag, and you could get into the shower and clean up. Then I’ll get you back in bed and go to the store and get all the junk we need and we’ll change the bandage.’

‘All right,’ Jerry Lee said and wiped his eyes.

‘You think you can stand up that long? In the shower, I mean?’

‘Maybe,’ he said. I took the plastic bag liner from the small trash can in the bathroom and gave it to him. I looked around for a rubber band or tape but there wasn’t any, and so I took a lace from my shoe and Jerry Lee put the plastic bag over the leg and tied the lace around it.

I started the water and got the temperature right. A small cloud of steam began to appear on the mirror as I got him up. I took off his underwear and helped him into the tub.

‘I don’t know how long I can stand,’ he said weakly.

I took the soap and washed him the best I could. The water getting me wet and getting all over the bathroom floor.

‘You got any shampoo?’ he asked. ‘My hair smells pretty goddamn bad.’

‘Don’t think so,’ I said. ‘We can just wash it with soap.’

I took the bar and washed his hair, then rinsed him and shut off the water. I helped dry him while he leaned against the tile wall, then I helped him out of the tub and into his bed.

He called for the dog, and it jumped up and lay next to him, and I clicked on the TV and went through the channels and found him a movie with Charlton Heston in it,
Planet of the Apes
.

‘That was horrible,’ Jerry Lee said.

‘I know,’ I said.

‘I’m glad I don’t have to get up for a while, that I don’t have to take a leak or move anytime soon.’

‘I’m gonna go out and get you some bandages,’ I said. ‘You want any breakfast?’

‘I don’t know,’ he said after a while. ‘Maybe orange juice. Maybe get that soup again for lunch. I might be hungry by then. Ask for the bread too. And if you don’t mind, could you get me a pad of drawing paper and some pencils? Now that I’m out of the hospital maybe I’ll feel like drawing again.’

‘I’ll get all that stuff. You gonna be okay by yourself?’

‘I’ll be all right. I think I’ll be just fine. I’m sorry you had to see that.’

‘It’s nothing.’

‘It is, though, it really is,’ he said.

30

WHEN I GOT BACK
Jerry Lee was awake and
Planet of the Apes
was still on. The room was warm and the dog was asleep. I gave Jerry Lee an orange juice and a waffle. When the dog woke Jerry Lee gave him some, and I took off my coat and sat on the bed next to his.

‘I got a bunch of stuff, although I’m not sure it’s right,’ I said. ‘When do you want to change the bandage?’

‘I guess we should probably do it soon,’ he said and looked at me. ‘I’d do it myself, but I probably wouldn’t do the best job. It’s ugly to look at, though. If you do it, it might make you sick.’

‘We gotta do it,’ I said and went to the cooler and found a beer and opened it.

‘Wish I could drink,’ Jerry Lee said.

‘You will soon enough.’

‘Maybe you better have a few before you change it.’

‘Maybe.’

‘I almost puked when I first saw it. It’s an awful looking sight.’

I drank three beers and we finished the movie before I did anything. Then I moved Jerry Lee to the toilet, and while I went for the supplies he took off the old bandage and set it in the small plastic trash can under the faucet.

He was more than right, it was hard to look at, and I was glad I was drunk. But he told me what to do and I followed his instructions the best I could and it went along okay. First I set down a couple towels on the tile floor underneath the leg, then poured hydrogen peroxide over the whole stump and a couple times over the stitches. It fizzed up on them, and I wiped away the foam with Kleenex, then dried it off with gauze. Then I just began wrapping the leg with gauze. I took a couple big pieces and folded it over the front, and taped them to the gauze I’d wrapped on the side. I made it tight, but not so much that it hurt him. It took some time, and I wasn’t sure, but it seemed to work out.

After I was done I helped him back to bed. It was almost eleven a.m. by then, and I found him another movie on the TV. I took off my shoes and sat on the bed and drank a beer and began to watch
The Great Waldo Pepper
with Robert Redford.

I crawled into bed and we watched it together in silence. After a time I could hear Jerry Lee snoring. When the movie was over I got up again, opened a beer, and looked through the phone book. I didn’t think I’d find her name, I was almost sure I wouldn’t, but under the Js it was there. Annie James. It listed her phone number, but there was no address. I sat for a time not sure what to do, so I opened another beer, and then another, and called her. She answered on the third ring and after we talked for a while we set up a time to meet.

*

When I got there, to the Stockman Casino, I almost didn’t go in, I was so nervous. I stood outside for a long while and went back and forth about it.

I saw her right away, sitting in a booth drinking coffee. My stomach bunched up in a knot and I got nervous as hell. I wanted her to still like me, I guess that was the thing. Even after all that had happened, that’s what I hoped for. That’s what I was worried about.

When she saw me she stood and smiled. She looked the same, although skinnier, and her hair shorter. She was dressed in a black skirt with black stockings and black shoes. She wore a plain red sweater, and no make-up or lipstick.

‘Hi, Frank,’ she said uncertainly.

‘Hello,’ I said and smiled at her. I sat down and a waitress came and gave us menus.

‘I work at a hardware store,’ she said when the lady had gone. ‘But I was lucky and I didn’t have to go in today. I work in the office. I answer phones and file. Things like that. It’s a good job, though. The people are all right. I live not far from here in an apartment. In a studio. It’s smaller than any motel I’ve ever stayed in, but it’s pretty nice. It’s my own place. I even painted it, and it has a full kitchen.’

‘What color did you paint it?’

‘The bathroom I painted white, it was dark green, and I painted the front room this sorta cream color, it looks good though. I can’t believe you’re here.’

‘Me neither.’

‘I’m glad you called. I really am.’

‘I’m staying over at the Traveler’s Inn, you know where that is?’

‘No,’ she said and laughed. ‘I try to avoid motels.’

‘Just down the street, maybe a half-mile from here.’

‘You guys on vacation?’

‘No,’ I said. ‘It’s nothing like that.’