The Mostly True Adventures of Homer P. Figg (24 page)

In
The Mostly True Adventures of Homer P. Figg
, Mr. Brewster’s cook, Mrs. Bean, invites Homer into her kitchen after he faints from hunger. She cooks him up a plate of steaming pancakes with butter and maple syrup and crackling bacon on the side. It makes Homer feel better right away, and soon our hero is telling his tall tales once again. With the help of an adult, try making Mrs. Bean’s Buttermilk Pancakes from scratch!

Ingredients
(Makes 10 average-sized pancakes)

1¾ cups flour

1 egg

1½ cups buttermilk

3 tablespoons cooking oil

2 tablespoons sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

½ teaspoon baking soda

¼ teaspoon salt

Maple syrup and/or butter (optional)

Instructions

Stir together the dry ingredients (flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt) in a large bowl. Then, in a separate bowl, beat together the egg, buttermilk, and oil. (You can use a fork to do this.) Add the wet mixture to the dry ingredients and stir until thoroughly combined. The batter should be slightly lumpy.

Lightly grease a pan or griddle and warm to a medium heat. For an average-sized pancake, pour a hefty spoonful of batter into the pan and cook it until the underside has turned golden brown, or air bubbles have risen to the top of the cooking batter. Flip the pancake and cook it for the same amount of time on the opposite side, or until equally golden brown on the bottom.

Serve pancakes hot with butter and maple syrup if you so desire. Try adding blueberries or sliced strawberries to the batter for extra flavor. And don’t forget what Homer would say: There’s nothing like the prospect of pancakes to make one smart-mouthed and sassy. So, watch your tongue as those pancakes hit your plate. Enjoy!

Civil War soldiers were often on the move to battle or new camps, and thus far away from towns with fresh food and supplies. They had to carry with them food that would last for long periods of time without spoiling and that would be easy to eat on the go. Hardtack is a biscuit that would stay fresh for months. Unfortunately, though, it didn’t have a lot of taste and was often rock-hard, so the soldiers made several funny names for it like “tooth duller” or “sheet iron cracker.” Northern manufacturers would bake it in their factories, package it, and send it out to the troops in crates. Depending on how far a soldier was from the manufacturer, the hardtack could be somewhat soft and fresh, or hard as nails. The Confederate soldiers had a similar provision called “Johnny Cake,” which was made out of cornmeal.

With the help of an adult, try making some hardtack for yourself and your friends to see what it was like to eat as a Union soldier did in the Civil War!

Ingredients
(Makes 9 squares of hardtack)

2 cups whole wheat flour

1/2 to 3/4 cup water

1 tablespoon vegetable oil

1 to 2 teaspoons salt

Instructions

Preheat the oven to 375°.

In a large bowl, mix all the ingredients together. Be sure not to add too much water. The batter should be stiff and will probably require hand kneading in order to collect any stray pieces. Next, roll the batter out into a flat square, approximately half an inch thick. Place it on an ungreased baking sheet, and put the sheet in the oven. Bake for thirty minutes. After baking, remove the sheet from the oven, and slice the dough into nine three-inch squares. Use caution while doing this as both the pan and dough will be very hot! Then, punch six to nine holes in each square using a toothpick, but do not punch all the way through the dough. Turn each square over and repeat the holes on the other side. Return the hardening dough to the oven and bake for another thirty minutes. Turn the oven off and leave the hardtack in the oven as it cools. When your hardtack is done baking, it should be as hard and dry as a brick. Watch out, teeth!

Here are some fascinating facts from this time period.

Did you know that Confederate General-in-Chief Robert E. Lee was once offered command of the Union Army?

Virginia was a very important state to the Confederacy’s cause because it had the largest population in the South and more industrial resources than the first seven Confederate states put together. Robert E. Lee was also a valuable resource to Virginia. As the son of one of the oldest families in the state — the First Families of Virginia — he was a well-respected and prominent gentleman. He graduated second in his class at the United States Military Academy at West Point and went on to be a highly recognized officer for his performance in the Mexican War. He dedicated his career in the United States Army to the service of his country.

Up until Virginia’s decision to secede from the Union on May 23, 1861, Lee had spoken against secession. He argued that our country had fought too hard in the 1700s to create a United States of America, and that it should only be dissolved by every member of the Union, not simply a faction. He also openly disagreed with slavery, claiming it to be immoral.

On April 18, 1861, Winfield Scott, U.S. Army General-in-Chief and fellow Virginian, asked his comrade Robert E. Lee to accept command of the Union Army. This request came just one month after Lee’s promotion to full colonel in the U.S. Army, and it was a great compliment to Lee’s abilities as a soldier and leader. He responded to Scott with regret that he was not only turning down the offer of command but he was also resigning from the U.S. Army. Lee felt he could not turn his back on Virginia and its people, nor ever fight against them. Five days later, on April 23, Robert E. Lee became Commander-in-Chief of Virginia’s forces.

Did you know that sideburns were first worn during the Civil War?

Not only was it difficult for soldiers to keep up with shaving their beards during the Civil War, but it was also fashionable. In the mid 1850s, the British style of growing beards came to the United States and quickly became stylish. It became rare to find a man who was clean-shaven during that period. All the prominent generals of the Civil War — both Union and Confederate — donned quite a bit of facial hair, from full beards to bushy mustaches. Ambrose Burnside developed a style of facial hair that became known as “sideboards” or “sideburns,” after his name.

Did you know that some women secretly dressed as men so they could fight in the Civil War?

In the nineteenth century, women and girls were forbidden to do many things. Gender roles were strict, and women were expected to stay close to home, maintaining the household, caring for children, and supporting the males in their families. So when a woman’s son, brother, or husband went off to fight in the Civil War, she was not allowed to go with him.

But numerous women wanted to fight alongside men, to fight for their beliefs. Elaborate disguises worked well, so women cut their hair short like a man’s, dressed in men’s clothing, practiced masculine mannerisms and speech, and took on men’s names. Many of these women passed for men and were brought into the army, contributing successfully to the war effort for up to several years before being discovered. When a woman’s true gender became known, she was expelled from the army. Still, many moved on to join other regiments under similar disguises.

Did you know that many sick and wounded soldiers preferred to stay away from war hospitals than be treated by doctors?

Because medical knowledge was nowhere near as comprehensive as it is today, Civil War doctors were often unable to treat many gruesome wounds and illnesses that soldiers from both sides experienced. The concept of “germs” had not been discovered yet, so doctors and nurses often operated with dirty tools and without washing their hands. Their actions spread infection from one patient to another, often resulting in death. It’s no wonder many soldiers thought the doctors did more harm than good. Many soldiers died from the subsequent infections that ravaged their bodies. And when it came to wounds in the soldiers’ arms and legs, doctors almost always chose amputation because other ways of treating gangrene had not yet been developed.

The camps and field hospitals that were set up to house the sick and wounded became cesspools of infection and disease. Crowding and uncleanliness led to deadly illnesses such as measles, mumps, tonsillitis, typhoid, diarrhea, and smallpox. Today we can effectively treat soldiers with these sicknesses, even vaccinate them. Because the doctors of the Civil War were unable to, they had to see many of their patients and comrades die as a result.

Did you know that the word
shoddy
used to mean a type of cloth?

From the very beginning of the Civil War, Union and Confederate soldiers were often lacking important supplies like food, shoes, horses, tents, uniforms, and guns. For the South, it was hard to find supplies because the South was far less industrial than the North, which had always manufactured the weaponry, clothing, and other equipment the South needed. The North, on the other hand, couldn’t make supplies fast enough and couldn’t afford to supply its army with equipment. To keep up with the demand for uniforms and blankets, northern textile factories would often produce a fabric called
shoddy
which was made of recycled wool fibers. The quality of shoddy was very poor, and it frequently fell apart or disintegrated after just a few weeks of use. Thus, the adjective
shoddy
came to describe things of inferior quality.

Did you know that the first African American soldier to be awarded the Medal of Honor was Sergeant William H. Carney of the Union Army?

In May 1900, Sergeant Carney of the Union Army was given the Medal of Honor in recognition of his valiant acts at Fort Wagner, South Carolina, on July 18, 1863. While other African American fighters — such as Robert Blake, who fought bravely in a naval engagement on December 24, 1863 — received the Medal of Honor as early as 1864, Sergeant Carney was the earliest African American to be recognized. Carney and Blake are just two examples of the hundreds of thousands of African Americans who fought bravely in the Civil War.

At first, African Americans were barred from serving in either army, but due to troop shortages, the Union began to give African American civilians informal responsibilities. With the Emancipation Proclamation of January 1863, African Americans were allowed to enlist in the Northern army and were soon sent to the front lines to fight. It wasn’t until late in the war that the Confederate Congress asked slave owners to sell their slaves to the army for its use.

In
The Mostly True Adventures of Homer P. Figg
, Professor Fleabottom (aka Reginald Robert Crockett) was a Confederate spy traveling through Northern towns and cities disguised as a caravan leader to gain information about the enemy. Similarly, Mr. Bobbins’s hot-air balloon,
Tilda
, is an example of Union air balloon surveillance against the Confederates. Often women would act as spies, too, gaining and trading secret information or conducting espionage missions. A female leader of a Confederate spy ring was caught with eighty-two letters sewn into her undergarments. Secret plots were employed by both sides and played an important role throughout the Civil War.

Here is a way to make invisible ink so you can send secret letters to your friends!

Step 1: Write the secret letter.
Using lemon juice as the ink and a toothpick, cotton ear swab, or quill as your writing tool, write a secret message on a piece of paper. After the lemon juice dries, you shouldn’t be able to see the message you wrote just moments ago.

Step 2: Uncover the message.
With the help of an adult, hold the paper near a non-halogen lightbulb (about four inches away) and heat the paper evenly. Be careful not to burn the paper — or your fingers! Slowly, your once-invisible message will start to turn brown and show itself. Ironing your paper may also reveal the secret note.

Step 3: Have fun!
Write invisible messages to your friends and family, trade them, and share secrets!

Congressional Medal of Honor Society, Full Archive, http://www.cmohs.org/recipient-archive.php (accessed July 21, 2010).

Gorrell, Gena K.
North Star to Freedom: The Story of the Underground Railroad
. New York: Delacorte Press, 1996.

Keegan, John.
The American Civil War: A Military History
. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2009.

McPherson, James M.
Battle Cry of Freedom: The Civil War Era
. New York: Oxford University Press, 2003.

National Park Service, “Civil War Food,” Gettysburg National Military Park Kidzpage, http://www.nps.gov/archive/gett/gettkidz/hardtack.htm (accessed July 21, 2010).

Silvey, Anita.
I’ll Pass for Your Comrade: Women Soldiers in the Civil War
. New York: Clarion, 2008.

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CKNOWLEDGMENT:
With thanks to Richard Adams, veteran, scholar, and gentleman, for gently pointing out the author’s many errors and persuading him to correct some (but not all!) of the most egregious whoppers.