The Mortal Knife (24 page)

Adam frowned, confused, until he remembered what she meant. He slipped his hand into the pocket of his school trousers and pulled out the earring. Looking at it now gave him a mixture of revulsion and fascination. He felt a strange reluctance to hand it over. He would probably never see this place again. ‘What if I need to come back here?'

‘This is not a place for mortals, Adam. You may be here briefly for the next Summoning but the next Atropos will be chosen with care.' A faint smile touched her lips. ‘As will the next Clotho.'

Adam stared at her. ‘But  …  You didn't do anything wrong. They can't replace you!'

Clotho shook her head. ‘Like Morta, the time has come for me to revoke my service. I have been here too long. I have my own path to walk now on the Unknown Roads and there is nothing for me to fear. I will go into my Light with honour.' She clasped Adam's cheeks in her hands and gently kissed his forehead. ‘I am glad to have known you, Adam Mortson. Precious soul.' She smiled and for a second her eyes were bright. ‘So, now you must go.'

Adam nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Between them, they helped Luc to his feet. He was stirring and murmuring and Adam knew they had to get out of there. Clotho moved her hand and a doorway appeared. She opened it, revealing the Hinterland beyond. Adam double-checked both his and Luc's keystones and stepped into the grey light. He turned and looked at Clotho one last time. ‘I'll see you again someday?'

Clotho smiled. ‘I hope that is so, Adam Mortson. Till we meet again on the Unknown Roads.' She bowed her head and closed the door one final time. Even as he watched, the doorway disappeared, leaving him and Luc alone at the centre of an infinite twilight.

It was time to go home. Adam took his own keystone and Luc's in his hand and hoped fervently that he could do this. Holding Luc's arm tight, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath and swooped.

Adam had never been more relieved to see their garden. How long had he been gone? Maybe just a few minutes. Morta hadn't killed anyone since her last vicious swipes at the Tapestry of Lights – but with a bit of luck Nathanial and Aron would still be away on their jobs. There was no way he wanted to explain why Luc was semi-conscious and stumbling like a drunk. He half led, half dragged his brother to the front door, pausing in the hall. He could hear his mother and Auntie Jo squabbling in the kitchen and Chloe thumping out something semi-recognisable on the piano. They must only just have come home. One more minute of luck was all he needed.

Luc was coming round. His eyes were slits and his legs seemed to be moving in different directions but a mixture of urgent pleas and a bit of manhandling got him to the top of the stairs. Adam opened Luc's bedroom door and tipped him onto the bed, scarpering before his brother could fully wake. He stood out on the landing for a second, getting his breath back, until he heard someone coming up the stairs. Panicking that all could still be lost, he hurtled into his bedroom, feeling his heart flutter with relief when he saw the note sitting just where he had left it. He managed to rip it into quarters and shove it in his pocket before Chloe knocked. ‘Dinner's ready,' she chorused.

Adam flung open the door. ‘I'm coming now. I'll wake Luc.'

Chloe raised an eyebrow. ‘He's been
sleeping
? Father was looking for him earlier.' She rolled her eyes and flounced off downstairs.

Adam breathed out slowly, shredding the rest of the note in his pocket. Luc was going to have to explain his absence – but what would he remember? Hesitating, he knocked on his brother's door. There was a muffled groan from inside which he took as an invitation. He poked his head inside, trying to act like everything was normal. ‘Dinner's ready.'

Luc raised his head up off the pillow and stared at him, as if he'd never seen him before. ‘Yeah, OK. Thanks.'

Adam studied him, petrified that Luc would blurt something out; remember what he had seen. ‘How are you? I mean, why are you in bed?'

Luc blinked and let his head slump back on the pillow. ‘I don't know. I must have been tired.' He frowned and rubbed his eyes. ‘I have just had the
trippiest
dream.'

Adam snorted. ‘I'll bet you did,' he muttered.

Over the next week life returned to something like normal – or as normal as it ever got for Adam. Nathanial was cagey about what had happened but Adam knew that shockwaves had gone through the Luman world. Although the number of sudden deaths had returned to normal, Nathanial was barely home, constantly attending meetings with Curators and High Lumen, who were all trying to get to the bottom of why not one but two Fates had revoked their service without any warning. He had no idea that the one person able to answer his question was sitting at the dinner table every evening, trying to look inconspicuous.

Adam watched his brother closely over the weekend. Luc seemed fine but quieter than usual. He stayed close to home instead of disappearing out the way he usually did. Elise and Chloe were pleased to have him around the house more. Only Auntie Jo seemed concerned at the sudden change in character. He was with them physically but sometimes it seemed like his thoughts were elsewhere. He would start talking about something, then tail off. Watching Luc come to a halt halfway through a sentence filled Adam with guilt. His brother seemed permanently confused. Was it from having his memories ‘unwoven'? Would it pass? Clotho had said it would take time for Luc to recover. He hoped it wouldn't take long.

Going into school the Monday after Morta's demise was a truly strange experience. As he blinked around his classes, he marvelled that everything else still looked the same. There was the Buzzard, terrorising his biology classmates as usual. Poor Stinky Pete still sat at the front bench, directly in her firing line. Adam ignored her rants. She didn't seem as terrifying now after Morta.

It was the last week of school before Easter. Part of Adam was dreading the holidays, but as the week went on that changed. Ironically for once it was school where he began to feel like public enemy number one, instead of at home.

Firstly, Spike was quiet with him for several days. He avoided talking to Adam but as they sat in the library Adam could
feel
his friend's eyes boring into him. He wanted to ask what was wrong but it was risky with the other two there. Even Dan and Archie picked up on the atmosphere – impressive when they usually had the emotional radars of fruit flies. On Thursday, the day before they finished for Easter, they were at their usual table at breaktime. Conversation was at an all-time low. Eventually Archie sighed. ‘I don't know what is going on with you two but seriously – sort it out, will you?'

‘Yeah,' Dan piped up. ‘It's like that old film we had to watch in English. Everyone kind of
staring
at each other and not
saying
anything.'

Adam grinned in spite of himself, although he cringed on the inside. He knew exactly what Dan meant. ‘There's no problem with me.'

Spike didn't say anything. He didn't need to. His silence spoke volumes.

Dan and Archie exchanged glances. They knew that whatever it was it was bad, and with Spike in this frame of mind it wasn't the time to get on the wrong side of him. Archie announced, ‘I'm going to art,' at the same time that Dan muttered, ‘I need to go and get my physics file.' They stared at each other accusingly, before standing up and fleeing.

Adam sighed. ‘OK, I don't know what's going on. What's your problem?'

Spike didn't look up. ‘You tell me.'

Adam glared at him, exasperated. Whatever petty crime he had committed was nothing to what he'd done in the Realm of the Fates. It was hard to take it seriously. ‘I'm not psychic.'

Spike looked up. There was a hardness in his face that Adam hadn't seen before. ‘OK. Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time I spent a whole weekend working on a program to help me find a mysterious guy who magically escaped seconds before a bomb went off. Proof, if you like, that actual ninjas exist. Only my dickhead “mate” poked about at my laptop and erased a file – or a photo, to be exact. The same mate that didn't want me to find the ninja, right from the start.' He paused and waited for an answer. When none came he scowled. ‘You're the dickhead, in case you didn't get it.'

Adam tried hard to look like someone honestly puzzled. ‘I have no idea what you're talking –'

‘I have the log. I can see exactly when it happened: in chemistry after school while I was doing the message for Suresh. I came back and found you messing about with my laptop.'

‘I was looking at the photos,' Adam protested. ‘I told you, I thought I knew the Jewish guy. Maybe I deleted one by accident.'

Spike shook his head. ‘I don't think you did. You never wanted me to find out who the guy was, right from the start. You know I'm going to find out.' He stood up and closed the laptop. ‘Last chance. Tell me.'

Adam tried to laugh. ‘You're being crazy! You're making something out of nothing. I didn't mean to delete anything!'

Spike was studying him. ‘You know, we've been mates for years now, and I don't know anything
about
you. I've never been to your house. You hardly ever meet up with us out of school. I don't even know what your parents do. For all I know your dad could be a diamond thief or a terrorist. Maybe
he
was the ninja.' Spike glared at him and pointed an accusing finger. ‘I think you're hiding something. Something really big.'

Adam stared at him, paralysed. Spike was just throwing ideas into the air, not being serious. But what if he got serious? He made one last effort at pleading. ‘Look, there's nothing going on. If I deleted something it was an accident. I'm sorry. But I'm not hiding anything.'

Spike looked at him with utter coldness. ‘I'm going to find out what it is. I'll find the photo too. I'll run the whole search again from start to finish if I have to.' He turned and walked away.

Adam stood up and called after him. ‘You do that!' He was shaking. He sat down and breathed out slowly. He hadn't planned for this. Maybe it
had
been a mistake deleting the photo and maybe it hadn't. He didn't know.

What he
did
know was that Spike would never find the photo. It was gone. He knew it was gone. Over the weekend he had returned to the memorial page, curious to see if Auntie Jo had seen his comment. He guessed she had because her reaction had been to delete the page and close the account. Her message to Lucian was gone.

By lunchtime he was desperate to see Melissa – but nervous too. She hadn't been in the day before because of her mum's hospital appointment. He'd made a special effort to text but she hadn't replied. Seeing her pale, tense face in registration that morning had already told him what he needed to know.

He found her just where he expected. She was outside the main building, waiting for him. He reached for her hand without a word, lacing his fingers through hers. Her hand felt small and fragile, but she tightened her grip and he felt the warmth and strength beneath her skin. They started walking, silent at first. He waited for her to speak.

She cleared her throat. ‘So my mum has to go back to the hospital again. They want to do more tests. They found something they didn't like the look of.'

Adam closed his eyes. ‘I'm sorry. But it's good that they're being careful. They might just find out that it's something small.' Why was he saying this? Why was he lying to her and lying to himself?

‘I don't think it
is
good.' Melissa's voice was so quiet Adam could hardly hear her. ‘The doctors were being really nice. Like,
too
nice.'

Adam wanted to throw his arms around her and hold her tight. He wanted to keep away those awful pictures in his mind; Melissa so pale and sad, holding a sick woman's hand. He stopped and turned towards her. ‘Let them do the tests first before you start worrying.'

Melissa nodded. ‘She's going back next week. She won't let me go. My aunt will be off work this time so she's going to go with her.' She let her head fall forward and rest on Adam's shoulder. ‘I have to go to my friend's funeral next week too. My friend from work.' She looked up and gave him a watery smile. ‘Happy holidays.'

Adam didn't know what to say. Instead, he kissed her. Her mouth was warm and soft and when he put his arms around her she pulled him in tight against her, hugging him fiercely. He felt her tongue brush against his and a wave of fire ran through his whole body. He pulled her in tighter, until there was no air left between them and kissed her harder, and harder, until he felt dizzy.

It was hard to tell who ended the kiss first. They shifted apart but not too far. Could she feel his heart beating? Her face tipped up and her eyes were huge and happier. Adam dropped a kiss on the end of her nose.

Melissa smiled. ‘I was thinking we should meet up over the holidays? There's a really nice park near Alter-Eden. I could meet you after my shift on Tuesday.'

Adam's heart plummeted. He tried to keep his face expressionless. ‘I'd really like to but I don't know if I can.'

She shrugged. ‘That's OK. What about another day?'

‘I have to do stuff over the holidays. With my family.' It wasn't a lie. It just wasn't the whole truth.

‘Every single day?'

‘Yeah, pretty much.' Her smile had faded. Adam felt a bolt of misery. ‘I can ring you though. I'll ring you whenever I can.'

Melissa pulled away. He saw the flash of hurt and disappointment before she made her face impassive. ‘OK.'

For a second Adam longed to tell her everything.
Everything
. Everything about his messed-up life, his messed-up family, the whole messed-up Luman world. The urge was so strong it crushed his chest, making it hard to breathe. He caught her hand, willing her to see how he felt about her. ‘I want to see you. If I can get away I will. I promise.'

Melissa shook her head, bewildered. ‘I don't get your family. Sometimes you make it sound like you're a prisoner when you're not at school.'

Adam looked at the ground. ‘It's not like that. It's not their fault. It's just  …  complicated.' It was too hard to find words. He kissed her again, before he could blurt out something stupid.

But this time she pulled away. Her face was sad. ‘Sometimes I feel like I could tell you anything. But sometimes  …  I feel like I don't even know you. Like you're keeping some big secret from me.'

Hearing this for the second time in one day made Adam want to weep. Instead, he reached for her other hand and pulled her in as close as he dared; close enough that he couldn't see her face. Close enough to put his lips against her ear and whisper. ‘I tell you everything I can. It just  …  takes a while to get to know me. Just  …  trust me. Please. Trust me.'

The bell rang in the distance. When Adam found the courage to look at her again she met his eyes for a long time, searching for something. Finally she nodded. ‘I do trust you. And if you want to do something over the holidays  …  you know where I am.' She stretched up and kissed him one more time.

Adam tried to freeze the moment in his head – her scent, her warmth, the way her mouth felt against his. As she walked away he couldn't help wondering if that had been their last kiss.

Adam was angry and depressed by the time he got home from school. Standing at the iron gate, he felt a momentary hatred for everything beyond it. He placed his palm on the electronic security pad, resisting the urge to punch it. He kicked his way up the path and when Sam and Morty came to greet him, he let them herd him into the paddock and present him with their favourite soft football.

He kicked the ball again and again, trying to shift the rage inside him – and when that didn't work he started running, letting the dogs chase him and wrestle him onto the grass. Finally, he pushed them away, sitting in a breathless heap. His blazer lining was torn. Any normal mother would have shouted and yelled at a damaged uniform but Elise wouldn't care. She'd slice it up herself if she got the chance.

He struggled to his feet, sweating and mucky. The anger was gone, replaced with numbness. He reached into his blazer pocket, the zip-up one on the inside. The photo was there, covered in clear plastic to keep it safe. Adam studied the faces, familiar now, all three of them – even Lucian's. A face not unlike the face Adam saw every day in the mirror. A mystery solved because of Morta's cutting words in the Tapestry chamber, forgotten at first in his struggle to survive. Words half remembered in the night. Words that made Adam jolt awake, turn the light on and search for the photo so he could see the truth once and for all.

‘Adam?' His father's voice called across the paddock.

Adam's first instinct was to hide. He was tired. Tired of all the lies and half-truths and secrets. Tired of false pride and disappointment and sadness washed down with whisky. He didn't want to see any of them. And yet in the end – who else did he have? Who else understood the world he lived in, if not his family?

Still clutching the photo, he walked towards the house. His father came round the long hedge and stopped when he saw him. From the shock on Nathanial's face Adam could only imagine how savage he looked. He didn't care. His family had been worried about appearances for too long.

Nathanial tried to smile. ‘I thought the dogs sounded energetic. I was waiting for you to come into the house but they appeared back without you.' When Adam didn't speak, he cleared his throat. ‘I wanted to give you some warning. We have another Summoning to attend. You won't be able to go to school tomorrow, I'm afraid. Although judging by your uniform, that's probably not a bad thing.'

‘OK.' Adam shrugged. What else could he do? The Luman world always came first. He started to walk away when he felt his father's hand on his shoulder.

‘Adam.' Instead of sounding angry Nathanial's voice was gentle. He waited, silent, until Adam was forced to look up and meet his eye. ‘I know things have been difficult recently. It's been a difficult time for all of us. I haven't been here as much as I should have been – but I'm here now. If there's anything you want to talk about, I'm here.'