“Why would you do that?”
“Because…because…”
“Because he’s been chasing you all over the Moon Realm—of course
he’s gonna do it!” Roc exclaims
.
“Chasing me?
But…but…”
I am
abo
ut to ask why, but I already know the answer.
I’ve
known it the wh
ole time, but wo
n’t allow myself the enjoyment of believing it—not even for one fraction of a second.
He feels
something for
me
,
too.
Chapter Twenty
Adele
Things get
pretty awkward
after that.
No one really speaks, and I barely mak
e eye contact with
anyone.
Tawni finally stops crying and we all agree that we need
to sleep.
Elsey and I go and fi
nd a few more thin pads to sleep on.
There i
sn’t much
space to stretch out, so we have to cram
tightly tog
ether.
Determining the sleep
ing positions i
s a bit embarrassing, probably not for anyone else, but definitely for me.
I want
to sleep next to Tristan.
Do
n’t get the wrong idea, I’m not
thinking about trying anything with him—I’m not that kind of girl
, plus the room i
s like a sardine can
.
I’ve
never even kissed a guy before.
Pathetic, I know.
I just want
to be near him, t
o bask in the energy that I feel when I’m
in his presence.
Tawni kno
w
s it, too, which i
s embarrassing in and of itself.
Right away, she lays
her mat near the edge of the roo
m, against the wall.
Roc seems
to sense the unspoken plan, too, pulling his mattress to the opposing wall, leav
ing plenty of space.
He smirks the whole time he i
s doing it.
That leaves
me
, Tristan
,
and Elsey.
I could
position Elsey in t
he middle, between Tristan and me
.
I do
n’t.
“Here you go, El
,” I say
, helping her lay out her pad next to Tawni.
I put mine n
ext to hers while Tristan fills
the
gap between Roc and
me
.
We leave
the candle to burn itself out.
I si
t down, being careful not to acciden
tally brush past Tristan, who i
s already sitting on
the floor.
I stretch
out stiffly, lowering my knees and head to th
e floor in jerky motions.
I lie
like a dead person
, staring at the ceiling.
I am
acutely aware when Trist
an sprawls
out next to me, mere inches from
my body by my own design.
I’
ve
never slept this close
to a guy before.
Although
there’s a gap between us
, it feels like
there isn’t, like our arms and
legs a
re touching, or maybe
our hips and shoulders.
It feels
nice.
Wonderful, to be exact.
Everyone else seems
to fall asleep immediately, exhausted from one of the lon
gest days of our lives.
I can
hear heavy
breathing on all sides.
I ca
n’t sleep
,
thoug
h.
Not with him so close to me.
I ca
n’t manage to deepen my breaths, or relax my body, or even close my eyes: all the standard req
uirements for sleep.
I just lie
as
still as a stone, my eye
s glued to the ceiling, which i
s getting dimmer by the m
inute as the candle’s wax melts
away.
After an h
o
ur I am
getting worried I’
ll
be up the whole
night.
A lot of good that will do me when we a
re trying to break
my dad out of jail.
So I try to sleep, try to forget who is sleeping next to me.
Close
my eyes.
My eyes snap open when I feel
some
thing touch my hand.
I jerk my head to the right and stare
through the deep
ening gloom at my hand, which i
s
resting lightly on my hip.
I hold my breath when I see what
touched it.
Tristan’s hand
.
His hand i
s resting gently
on top of mine, his fingers sitting in the cracks bet
ween my fingers.
The feeling i
s remarkable.
Another first for me: my hand touching a guy’s.
Not holding, per se.
Just touching.
I
don’t think the feeling would be
the same with any other guy.
With Tristan the fe
eling i
s special.
I glance over at him.
His eyes a
re closed, his breat
hing slow and even.
He appears to be sleeping.
Is he faking it?
Or did he simply move
in his sleep,
his hand randomly slipping onto
mine, a mere fluke of nature?
I feel
his fingers p
ush their way between mine, curling inside so they a
re touching my palm.
My
heart leaps to the ceiling and tries to rip
out of my chest
.
It settles
back into place and demonstrates
its enthusiasm by beating rapidly, sending shivers th
rough my nervous system.
I feel
so warm, so right.
He is awake, I can sense it.
It is no mistake that his hand is on
mine.
My instinct is confirmed when I feel
his
thumb, the only finger not nestled under my palm,
start to stroke
the top of my hand.
Gently sliding back and forth across it, sometimes making circles.
It is weird how good it feels
.
It i
s s
uch a simple thing, the mere sliding of a
finger across skin, but it sends
tingles through my whole body.
I clos
e my eyes, like Tristan, and begi
n slowly running my own
fingers across his.
We carry
on like that for a long time, at least an hour—m
aybe hours, I’m not sure, I lose
track of time.
Things a
re movin
g so fast.
I know, I know—it i
s just holding hand
s.
But it feels
like so much more than that.
This is going to sound stupi
d, but it almost feels
like we’ve
done it, like I’
ve
lost my virginity through
our hands touching
.
The
feelings
I have for him a
re
re
markable, but I finally realize
they a
re
n’t anything s
upernatural.
The whole time I’ve
had this
weird
feeli
ng that some mysterious force i
s
drawing us together.
Now I feel silly for thinking that.
It i
s just attraction, plain and simple.
A really, really, ridiculously strong attraction, yeah, but a natural force nonetheless.
Eventually I fall asleep.
I am sure we a
re st
ill holding hands when I drift
away.
I wake up when Tawni says
, “Hey, sleepyhead.”
I yawn and rub
my eyes, opening them t
o look at my friend.
She looks
like her normal, perky self—not the devastated girl from the day before.
I wish
I could
co
pe with things the way she can
.
That’s when I remember
the
position
I was
in when I fell asleep: ho
lding hands with Tristan.
I snea
k a glance down at my hand.
It i
s a
lone—
safe.
Whew
, I think.
It isn’t like I am embarrassed that Tristan seems
to have feelings for me—
ecstatic
would
be a better word—but I’m not
keen to have everyone know about it just yet.
I turn
my
head to see what Tristan looks
li
ke when he’s sleeping, but he isn’t there.
Roc i
s gone, too.
“Gone with Els
ey to do some recon,” Tawni says
, guessing my question.
“Elsey?” I say
, suddenly worried.
“It’ll be okay,” Tawni says
.
“They promised to be very careful and look after her.”
I nod
, still worried.
I hear
quick feet on
the steps and then Elsey bounds
through the doorway, practically crashing into me.
“The bo
mbing finally stopped!” she says
excitedly.
“We can
go rescue
F
ather.”
Her smile is a mile wide.
I am
amazed at her ability to bounce back from the horrific events of the previous day.
Sl
ower steps thud
down the stair
s.
I raise
my head in anticipation
of seeing him, hoping it won
’t be awkward after our night together.
Roc’s head pops out.
He i
s wearing
a wide smile, too
, grinning like a banshee through the cover of his bruised face
.
I’m not sure what everyone’s been smoki
ng, but I want some—clearly it’
s good stuff.
Tristan follows behind him and my breath catches
in my lungs.
Despite his in
juries—although the swelling has lessened, his face i
s varying shades of b
lack, blue, and purple—he looks amazing.
It i
sn’t just his face, or his athletic body, but t
he confident way that he carries
himself, his penetra
tingly blue eyes, the way I feel when I’m around him.
As usual, I am
drawn to him.
He look
s
at Elsey.
“Did you tell them?”
Elsey grins
at hi
m.
“Mission complete,” she says
, standing at attention, her hand
perpendicular to
her forehead
in a rigid salute
.
“Ready for
your
next order.”
“At ease, soldier,”
Tristan says
, laughing.
“She really likes t
his role
-
playing stuff,” he says
, explaining to me.
“She always has,” I say
, “but she
’s no soldier and you’re not a
g
eneral.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
“I’m
just kidding—lighten up,” I say
,
grinning.
Although our hands a
re clearly soul mate
s, our minds still have a ways to go.
He doesn’t know I am sarcastic a lot, but he’ll
learn quickly.