The Moment She Left (27 page)

Seeming both embarrassed and defensive, Pamela said, ‘I’ve been trying to turn myself into a nice person, like you.’

Rowzee didn’t know what to say, but eventually the right words managed to trip out, almost of their own accord. ‘But you are a nice person. You’re lovely . . .’

‘No I’m not,’ Pamela snapped impatiently. ‘I’m bad-tempered, resentful, always critical, snobbish . . .’

‘Oh, I’m coming over all unnecessary,’ Bill cautioned.

With a splutter of laughter, Pamela said, ‘You fool.’

Looking from one to the other and certain she must be dreaming, Rowzee said, ‘We all love you the way you are . . .’

‘But I don’t,’ Pamela cut in quickly. ‘It’s horrible being so angry and uptight all the time. I want to be calm and happy and kind, like you. So I thought, if I went to see someone, they’d help me to find out why I’m so querulous and hostile, and if I could find out why I might be able to change it.’

Rowzee glanced at Bill, clocked his suspiciously benign smile, and turned back to Pamela. ‘So did you find out why?’ she asked.

‘Oh there are a lot of things that came up from the past,’ Pamela admitted, ‘most of it to do with you, as a matter of fact. I always thought you were the favourite, you see . . . Well, you were, which is why I’ve always felt so second best and angry with the world, because our parents never loved me as much as they loved you.’

Shocked, Rowzee cried, ‘That is absolutely not true. I don’t know why you’re telling yourself that when Mummy and Daddy adored you. You were the one
with all the character, the feisty, gutsy one who wasn’t afraid to take on anything or anyone to make sure the right thing was done. They were so proud of you, and I always wished I could be more like you.’

Pamela appeared bewildered.

‘Coffee, anyone?’ Bill offered cheerily.

Rowzee said, ‘Yes, please,’ and holding out her arms she went to wrap them around her sister. ‘I can’t believe you’ve been having therapy to try and change yourself. You’re perfect as you are . . .’

‘I’m angry and negative and that’s not good. It’s like lots of demons are all locked up inside me, and I don’t expect I’ll ever get rid of them all, but the therapist has encouraged me to start being kind to myself and to those I love, so that’s what I’m trying to do. I have to appreciate myself more, he said, and feel good about myself when I look in the mirror. I need to think about what I’m saying to others to make sure it isn’t hurtful or offensive or meant to make them feel small.’

‘And you’re doing marvellously,’ Bill assured her. ‘You only bit my head off twice when we had dinner last night, mind you, I thoroughly enjoyed both times.’

Rowzee blurted, ‘You two had dinner last night?’

With a sigh, Pamela explained, ‘When you rang to say you weren’t coming home . . . I’d already bought salmon steaks for our supper, and it seemed a shame to waste them.’

‘So you rang Bill?’

‘Actually he was already here,’ Pamela said irritably. ‘And I thought it would be a good opportunity, as a part of my therapy, to be nice to someone I might have wronged.’

‘I told her,’ Bill put in, ‘I have no objection to her experimenting on me.’

Rowzee looked from him to the carrier bags full of presents, to the dear, dear sister struggling to be a better person, and suddenly felt so overwhelmed that she couldn’t collect any thoughts at all.

‘. . . I thought she’d have come in with you,’ Pamela was saying.

‘Who?’ Rowzee asked.

‘Andee. Didn’t she bring you back?’

Andee? Back from where?

‘Are you OK?’ Pamela asked, peering at her. ‘You look a bit . . . glazed.’

Oddly it was exactly how she felt.

‘Are you going to tell us about your stepson?’ Pamela urged. ‘What’s his mother like? I hope they didn’t try to get any money out of you.’

‘Andee’s trying to find Jessica,’ Rowzee heard herself mumble.

Frowning, Pamela said, ‘I know she was going to see Jenny. Did you see Jenny too?’

Rowzee shook her head. ‘That poor, dear girl. What on earth has happened to her?’

Glancing worriedly at Bill, Pamela said, ‘It’s what we’d all like to know.’

‘I can’t stop thinking about her,’ Rowzee confided.

Carefully, Pamela said, ‘How long has she been missing now?’

Rowzee looked at her, not sure what to say. Everything seemed so tangled and unreachable, with small flickers of light sparking in the darkness. Pamela had asked about Victor’s son. ‘His name’s Sean,’ she said, ‘and he looks just like Victor.’

Pamela’s eyes were narrowed as she regarded her closely. ‘What did he have to say for himself?’ she asked. ‘Whatever it was, I hope it started with an apology.’

‘He’s in a vegetative state,’ Rowzee responded. ‘His mother’s taking care of him, and his son. It was very shocking and upsetting to see.’

Pamela looked at Bill as he set down a pot of coffee and fresh cups. ‘Are you sure,’ she ventured tentatively, ‘they weren’t trying it on? You know, pretending he was out of it to try and get your sympathy?’

Rowzee felt sure, but couldn’t find the words to convince Pamela.

‘Did Andee go in with you?’ Bill asked.

Rowzee nodded. ‘Yes, she was there. She’s gone to see Charles now.’

As Pamela started to speak again there was a knock at the door, and moments later Lucie was bounding into the kitchen with Teddy, her adorably daft and excitable Wheaten terrier.

‘Oh Teddy,’ Rowzee smiled in delight, clasping his eager face in both hands as he came straight to her. He was so soft and fluffy, with curly champagne-coloured fur, irresistible brown eyes and a tail that never stopped wagging.
‘I’d forgotten you were coming today,’ she crooned, planting a kiss on his head. ‘Isn’t this lovely?’ she gushed to Pamela and Bill. ‘We’ve got him for a whole two weeks.’

‘Are you OK, Mum?’ Lucie asked, going to embrace Pamela. ‘You look as though you’ve been crying.’

‘Don’t be daft,’ Pamela scolded. ‘What have I got to cry about?’

Eyeing her suspiciously, Lucie turned to Bill. ‘How are you?’ she smiled, hugging him too. ‘You know, the guy you recommended to take over our garden is an absolute genius. I can’t thank you enough.’

‘Glad he’s working out,’ Bill responded. ‘Are you staying for coffee? I’ve just made some.’

Lucie was apparently unfazed by him playing host. ‘I’d love to, but I have to rush . . . What’s all this?’ she asked, as Pamela handed her half a dozen carrier bags.

‘A few things I picked up for you,’ Pamela told her. ‘You don’t have to open them now. Remind me, is Katie going away with you?’

‘No, she’s already in Cornwall with Bob’s parents.
Mum!
I hope you’re not getting Alzheimer’s. Wow! What have I done to deserve all this?’ she exclaimed, peeking into one of the bags. ‘My God, this is seriously expensive stuff . . .’

‘Just enjoy it,’ Pamela interrupted crossly.

Lucie turned to Rowzee as if she might offer an explanation.

‘I’ve cashed in some Premium Bonds,’ Pamela told her impatiently, ‘and I thought we might as well all benefit.’

Though clearly thrown, it was with a mischievous twinkle that Lucie said to Bill, ‘So what did she get you?’

Drily, he replied, ‘You mean apart from all excited?’

As Lucie’s eyes widened and Rowzee laughed, Pamela snapped, ‘Take no notice of him, he’s weird and delusional.’

‘Mum’s going to be working for Bill,’ Rowzee told her. Did she have that right? She hadn’t just imagined the last half an hour, had she?

Amazed, Lucie said, ‘How come?’

Loftily, Pamela said, ‘Bill needs someone to run his caravan park so I’m going to take it on.’

‘Wow! This is great news. You and Bill . . .’

‘All right, that’s enough,’ Pamela cut in before Lucie could go any further. ‘Do you have Teddy’s food and everything else he needs?’

‘It’s in the car. I’ll go get it.’

As she disappeared, Pamela turned back to Rowzee. ‘You’re acting strange,’ she accused her firmly. ‘So what happened in Devon? Something obviously did, and I want to know what it was.’

‘Nothing happened,’ Rowzee assured her, still fondling the dog and loving the way he was pressed against her. ‘Or not in the way you’re meaning it.’ She was remembering how Norma had seemed to think she had a dog. Well, she did now, at least for the next couple of weeks, and it was going to be a joy taking him for long walks on the moors and the beaches, the way she had in the past . . .

‘I think I need to speak to Andee,’ she heard Pamela mutter to Bill.

‘Here we are,’ Lucie declared, dumping Teddy’s bed full of toys, dry food, towels, lead and shrink-wrapped treats on the floor.

Though Teddy watched her he didn’t move from Rowzee’s side. Apparently he was more than happy to be here.

‘Are you OK, Rowzee?’ Lucie asked, concerned. ‘You seem a bit quiet today.’

‘I’m fine,’ Rowzee assured her. ‘Just a little tired.’

‘She’s been gallivanting around Devon since yesterday morning,’ Pamela explained, ‘and if I know Gina Stamfield more than a few glasses of wine came Rowzee’s way last night, and you know she can’t take it.’

Though she’d had no more than two glasses at the most, Rowzee decided to seize the excuse to go upstairs and lie down for an hour. Better they thought she was suffering with a hangover than have Pamela start going on about anything else. She wasn’t up to fending her off right now, nor was she very sure about what was happening to her. She’d felt so well yesterday, at least for most of the day, and had been sure that the dexamethasone was doing its thing. Now she could only feel a dark, dragging ache at the back of her skull as she tried her best to remember what Andee had been talking about on the way back. It was important, she knew that, and because of it she’d decided that she must look something up when she got home, something to do with dear Jessica, she thought, but with all the distractions of Pamela and Bill, and now Teddy arriving, she simply couldn’t remember what it was.

As Andee drove back into Kesterly she was trying once again to make some sense of what she’d discovered the day before. Actually it was more of a suspicion that was attempting to settle in her mind, the way suspicions sometimes did before enabling one to form a logical conclusion. Yoder was an Amish name, Gina’s great-grandmother had been Amish – the coincidence couldn’t be ignored, and yet it hardly seemed credible that there could be a connection between this mystery person and Gina’s American ancestry.

Although Andee had decided not to bring it up with Gina again until she’d had more time to think, she’d got up early this morning to take another look at the prayer book in the hope it might give her some assistance. She’d found no mention of the name Yoder either in print or in the handwritten inscriptions on an inside page. Gina, or someone, had bookmarked a couple of prayers, the first seeming to be about shame, and the second apologising to the Father for not being true. If there were anything to be read into either Andee had had no idea what it was then, and she still didn’t now. However, feeling terrible that she was doing this to a friend, she’d photographed them both just in case they turned out to have some relevance.

During the drive home she’d asked Rowzee what she knew about the Amish people, but apart from being able to tell her about Gina’s great-grandmother, Rowzee had seemed as much in the dark about this particular community as Andee was.

After dropping Rowzee at the Coach House Andee had driven on to the Hall in the hope of finding Charles
at home, but there had been no sign of him. The fact that Gina knew about the blackmail was something else that was bothering her. Though Gina hadn’t confirmed the existence of a friend as the victim, she hadn’t denied it either, which had left Andee more convinced than ever that Charles himself was being subjected to extortion. Even as she thought it, she was aware of physically shaking her head. It was like trying to connect two live wires, Yoder and Jessica’s disappearance on the one hand; Charles’s blackmail on the other. It just didn’t fit. She was leaping to conclusions without having anything tangible or credible to back them up, only a name and a situation that on the face of it, at least, couldn’t possibly have anything to do with each other. However, her instincts were telling her that there was more, if she’d just allow herself to see it.

Not for the first time Andee found herself reflecting on closed doors and what happened behind them, particularly those belonging to families. As a detective she’d come across countless tragedies and crimes that no one would ever have dreamt their neighbour, or friend, or colleague capable of. It hadn’t made her so much cynical as sad to be shown, time after time, that even good people could be guilty of the worst imaginable offences. And she knew how far some would go to protect their secrets, or loved ones, and though she hated even to think it, she had to ask herself if this was why Charles was trying to find out the identity of his tormentor. Did he have plans for this person that could end him up in an even worse place than he already was?

After leaving her car in the parking spot opposite her building, she collected the mail and climbed the stairs to her apartment. Finding the place hot and stuffy inside she opened the windows, letting in a flood of warm sea air and holiday noise.

Though she had plenty of calls to make she went to make coffee first, and smiled with affection when a text turned up from Rowzee.

Thank you for being such a good friend to me yesterday. I really enjoyed our chat on the way back. I hope to see you again very soon. With love Rowzee xxx

Texting back, Andee said,
Having you as a friend has brought a lot of sunshine into my life at a time when it seems full of (self-inflicted?) clouds. Let’s make sure to get together again very soon. With love xxx

No sooner had the message gone than the phone rang, and seeing it was Graeme she quickly clicked on.

‘Is Rowzee still with you?’ he asked after enquiring how she was.

‘I dropped her about half an hour ago. I think she enjoyed seeing Gina, in fact I know she did, but finding Victor’s son in such a dreadful way has definitely taken its toll on her.’