The Miting (43 page)

When they finished their prayer, peace grew in Leah’s heart. They completed the errands they needed to run, and when it was time to go home, the comforting spirit was still with her.

At home, no one met Leah at the door. She waved good-bye to Jacob. The house appeared quiet and normal.

As his buggy rolled off, Jacob called back, “I’ll be praying, Leah. Don’t worry. The Lord is in control still.”

“Yes. I know. Thank you for praying with me, Jacob.”

No one was in the kitchen or the living room as Leah entered the house. She went upstairs with the packages they had bought and spread them over the bed. She spent the rest of the morning sorting through the new things and revising her list for the wedding. Keeping out of
Maem
and
Daet
’s way seemed the wise thing to do.

The house remained unusually quiet. Leah worked on through the late afternoon, wondering now and then at the continued calm in the house.

At dinnertime, the family ate in tense silence. Leah did not press things with her folks.
Maem
was tight-lipped and solemn, and
Daet
refused to look her way. It was hard to swallow even the broth of the soup. Leah’s heart raced as the strain in the room increased.

Oh, how I hate to be the cause of all this! When will I learn how to fit in, God? How do I obey You and keep the peace with the
Ordnung?
How do I live among my people without causing this much conflict every time I read my Bible or try to witness to Your Son’s grace? Where is the compromise?

Dinner ended, and Leah and Ada stood side by side at the sink as they washed the supper dishes.

“What’s going on?” Ada finally whispered.

Leah glanced around.
Maem
was bustling around, putting spread and apple butter away.

She leaned closer to her sister. “The bishop caught me reading my Bible at breakfast this morning.”

Ada’s eyes widened. Just then,
Daet
came into the kitchen on his way to the shop to finish up for the day. He eyed his daughters but said nothing.

Finally, they finished the chore and started for their rooms.

Maem
stopped Ada. “I’d like you to help me with the hemming of these pants, Ada.” Her eyes moved to Leah. “You should go on, Leah. It’s getting late. Maybe you can work on wedding things more.”

Maem
’s tone was polite, but weary. Leah nodded, obeying without comment.

She hurried up the stairs.

No time to chat with Ada. That’s one way to keep her from my influence, I suppose.

Leah rearranged the packages from her morning shopping spree into a neat pile in her closet. The wedding seemed so very far away. There was no way the bishop would allow what he had seen that morning to go unpunished. There were bound to be repercussions for Jacob, as well. A meeting would be called. It was only a matter of when, not if.

As the late sun slanted through the window, her eyes grew heavy. The pillow looked inviting. She got ready for bed. There was no point in trying to join the family tonight. It would only upset her parents more than they already were. She said her prayers and changed into her nightclothes.

She settled onto the pillow and let her breath escape in a long sigh. In the morning, she would deal with whatever came.

When Leah went down to breakfast,
Maem
was at the table, and it surprised her to see
Maem
make eye contact, giving her a long, remorse-filled look.

Maem
and Benny had their usual morning rush before she sent him off to school. And as Ada finished her work at the sink,
Maem
shooed her off with another chore.

Then she focused on Leah. She poured Leah a cup of coffee and asked her to sit beside her. Leah sat, but
Maem
’s kindness confused her. After what had happened, it was the last thing she had expected.

“First of all, Leah, I want to apologize for what I did to your Bible. That was wrong of me. I was mad. That’s sinful behavior.”

For once, Leah managed to keep her thoughts to herself. An apology from
Maem
was astonishing. Leah was not sure whether to be heartened or wary.

“I … I have some news to give you, and it made me think that what we’ve been upset with you about is really not as terrible as other things people do.”

Again, Leah met this remarkable speech with silence.

“Did you know Martha has an English boyfriend?”

“I think she needs prayer,” she replied simply.

Maem
twisted her hands together and sat back with a sigh. “She left with him yesterday. And she abandoned her baby.”

Leah stifled a gasp.

“
Ja
, it’s true. It’s so sad to think of the little one with no
maem
.”

“Are her parents going to take care of him?”

Maem
nodded. “But they aren’t happy about it at all. I walked over yesterday afternoon to see if I could help out in any way, and Martha’s
maem
was very upset. Said she wished the girl had taken the baby. No matter what Johnny had to live with, she wanted Martha to lie in the bed she’d made.” Her eyes shimmered with tears.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Leah said, “but there’s been something wrong in Martha’s home from the time those two households joined together.”

Maem
studied her but said nothing more about Martha. She got up and asked if Leah wanted more coffee.

“Sure, but I can get it.”

“No, it’s all right. I’m getting another cup for myself anyway.”

Leah watched as her mother poured the coffee and set out the cream pitcher. She brought it all to the table, and colored her coffee the frothy beige she favored. The cream created clouds again, just as it had that morning long ago when things hadn’t been bad between them. A lump formed in Leah’s throat as she remembered.

“So, Leah, I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. I don’t want to say this to anyone but you, but I already miss seeing your head bent over that book every morning.” She glanced up. “You seemed at peace while you read,” she added wistfully.

Leah stared down at the oilcloth table covering. Her finger traced the familiar pattern of the checks on the surface, but again, she didn’t know how to answer. This wasn’t what she had expected the morning to hold.

“Where’s
Daet
?”

Maem
nodded toward the back door. “In the shop, of course.” She stared out the window. “He doesn’t know I wanted to say these things to you. As I was walking back from Martha’s house, I thought of how much you’ve done for our family. In spite of all the things we don’t understand about your new ideas, you don’t do the things Martha has done. It’s not been easy, I’ll admit. We don’t understand this born-again thing, not at all. And we’ve always heard how bad it is to take on the
Englishers’
religions, so of course it seemed terrible to us. And there’s the miting …”

Maem
gulped back a tiny sob. Her confession and emotions confounded Leah more and more. She hadn’t figured her mother would ever say things like this to her.
Maem
regained control and went on.

“The mitings—I never wanted any of my children to feel the pain or bear the burden of having no family at all. It hurts me, Leah. I myself can’t imagine not having a family to love and support me. I’m not the kind of mom who wants to bring trouble to her children, even if it is supposed to be rebuke for their own good.”

She looked her in the eyes, and Leah believed her.

“I can’t say it’s been a happy time for me, either. The main reason I came home was because I missed you all so much, but I have to be honest with you; even though Jacob and I have taken the classes, we’re not planning to stay in this church. We’ve tried to stay until after we get married, but our farm is in Holmes County. We plan to join a New Order church.”

Maem
took in the news, biting her lips and allowing a sigh to escape. She nodded slowly. “But you will still be Amish, right?”

“As long as we’re allowed to be. I learned a lot in my time away from home, and some of it I really liked. The church services and the worshiping—it made me happy. I felt closer to God.”

Maem
averted her eyes and stood. “Don’t tell me too much. I don’t want to have to be the one to reveal truths to the bishop if I’m asked.” She smoothed her apron and adjusted her
kapp.
“I’ve had my say. I think if you can convince the bishop and your
daet
the Bible reading is over, they’ll ease off for now.”

Leah stood, too. Her stomach was churning again.
I cannot give up reading the Bible.

After a few seconds of silence,
Maem
turned. Her eyes met and held Leah’s gaze.

In that moment, Leah knew the plans she and Jacob had made must change, and quickly. If Jacob agreed, they would not be staying long enough to be married here. Her wedding would not take place in this house. Mother and daughter never spoke the words, but the truth hung between them.

Leah went out to the shop to help
Daet
as usual, but she was worried about what he would say. For some reason,
Maem
followed her out. As she entered the door,
Daet
was talking to Preacher Weaver. They both turned to look at her.

“Leah, Preacher Weaver is here to ask about your intentions regarding the Bible reading.” He glanced at
Maem
. “I mean, I know you don’t have your Bible anymore, but if you did have one, what would you do?”

Weaver rocked back on his heels. “
Ja
, we need to find out where your heart is, sister. Do you mean to give up this dangerous practice once and for all?”

Leah kept silent, and
Daet
turned to
Maem
. “You talked to her—I saw you through the window. Tell me what she intends, Rachel,” he demanded of
Maem.

Maem
glanced at Leah, but she turned without a word and left the shop.
Daet
’s face reddened, and he looked at Preacher Weaver.

“I think we can tell from my daughter’s silence her heart is still hard, and she is being stubborn against the church. I’m sorry to say this, but I think we need to ask the bishop to send for the Amish counselor. I can’t think of any other way to finally settle this.”

“Daet!”
Leah stood transfixed, her mind and body in shock. The Amish counselor? What she’d heard about his practice scared her out of her shoes. Rumors of drugs and mental facilities and all the things families whispered about. Surely her own
daet
would not do this to her.

“
Ja
, it’s a sad day, but I think you’re right, John. She has some troubles which will need deep help to mend.” He glanced Leah’s way. “If she changes her mind, send word.”

Preacher Weaver left, and
Daet
stood staring at her. His eyes bored a hole into Leah’s soul. This side of
Daet
was someone she just didn’t know. She wiped hot tears from her cheeks.

“It’s too late to be sorry now, Leah.”

Daet
flexed the muscles in his jaw as he ground out his words. “But as Preacher Weaver said, if you change your mind about all this nonsense, we can go on as though nothing happened. You and Jacob and the family can be happy again. You can have a
gut
life and
gut
home here. You can be a part of the church—”

“
Daet
, stop! I can’t … I can’t listen to this anymore. I tell you, I’m sorry now I ever came home. This is something I never thought my own
daet
would do to me. I have Jacob to consider, and he’ll not allow you to send me to the Amish hospital.”

“You listen to me! I’m still your
daet
and always will be. If you and Jacob marry, he will be under my authority, too. Don’t you ever forget that!”

Daet
stormed from the shop and slammed the door behind him. Leah whirled. Her world was collapsing. Fear gripped her heart. The rumors about the mental hospital flew through her mind. She would be at the mercy of endless sessions, all leading to acceptance and obedience of the
Ordnung
, the bishop, her community. It would be a nonstop process of pressure to get her to conform. And
Daet
had the power to place her there against her will.