The Mistress of Trevelyan (19 page)

"Buy candy," Robert said, being as solemn as any five-year-old could.

"We will see," Benedict Trevelyan added. He nodded toward the plants. "You and Justin have been busy. Who takes care of the plants?"

"I do mostly." Robert shot his gaze toward Justin. "Jus helps some, too, but he doesn't like the dirt as much as Miss Wovell and I do. He likes to drawded."

"Draw" I corrected.

"Is this yours, Justin?" Stephen Trevelyan bent down and picked up my sketchpad.

"No, um, that is mine," I said, but Stephen had already started flipping through the pages. Thankfully he held up the sketch of Trevelyan Manor with the dragon hovering over it. I didn't want anyone to see the portrait of Benedict Trevelyan I'd drawn.

Katherine halted my flood of embarrassment. She walked over and ran her fingers over the sketch. Then, turning my way, she made the same gesture with her fingers that Benedict Trevelyan had when he told her for me that her tapestry was beautiful.

"How do I tell her thank you?" I couldn't remember.

Benedict Trevelyan showed me the movement, and I thanked Katherine. Reaching behind Justin, I pulled out his sketchbook from where he'd hidden it beneath his shirt. I handed it to him. "You are very talented. I am sure Uncle Stephen and Aunt Katherine would say so, too."

Justin didn't say anything. He didn't look up. He just held his sketchbook out to his uncle.

Stephen squatted down and looked up into Justin's face. He took the sketchbook from Justin, but didn't open it "If you would rather not share right now, I can wait"

Justin shook his head, a world of anger in his voice. "You will just go away again."

"Justin" his father said sharply.

"It is true," Justin cried. "Everybody went away when my mother died. Even if they stayed here, they did not love us anymore. We are only in the way." He looked resentfully at Constance, Katherine, and Stephen. "I do not want anybody to love me ever!" He turned and ran toward the house.

"Justin," his father shouted.

"Wait," I said. But before I could set my hand on Benedict Trevelyan's arm, Katherine stepped up and did so, shaking her head. Her troubled gaze followed Justin, then she looked at all of us, as if she couldn't fathom what had happened. Tears filled her eyes, and I could clearly see her frustration. What would it be like to be locked into a world of silence, completely dependent on others to tell me everything?

She signed something to Benedict

Benedict shook his head and signed back, saying at the same time, "He cannot allow his emotions to rule his actions."

Katherine shook her head, disagreeing with Benedict. Then she shook her head at everyone and ran for the house.

"I will speak to Justin later," I said, my heart burdened for the child. He didn't need a dressing-down for his outburst just yet. Not when his emotions were so raw.

Benedict Trevelyan fisted his hands. I could see the turmoil wrenching his jaw taut and felt his frustration. I could see that he wanted to reach his son but didn't know how. I wasn't sure if anyone could reach Justin. Not yet—he didn't want to be touched.

Stephen Trevelyan stood and handed me Justin's sketchbook. "I will look at it when he is ready." He turned to his brother. "He's right, you know. How can you punish him for speaking the truth?" He smacked himself.  "How remiss of me to forget.  It's the truths you do not want to hear that you punish others for speaking."

"You are showing even worse manners than my son. I suggest you see me in private to finish this discussion." Benedict Trevelyan's voice sliced with barely restrained violence. I thought for a moment that the brothers would come to blows.

Constance intervened. "Stephen, be a dear. If you are not going to ask Miss Lovell why she requested Dobbs to send you to her, then please go pick me some of those fat roses over there. I think I will wear them in my hair tonight."

Stephen Trevelyan turned from his brother, shaking his head. "Since Connie was nice enough to remind me, please tell me what I can do for you, Miss Ann."

"I... what I needed was, uh, to see if you would play a chess game with Justin. He's just learning, and I thought a patient opponent would—"

"Since I am not needed here, I will get Odin back to the stable." Benedict Trevelyan whipped around on his heel to leave, and I realized how badly what I had said sounded. Truth was, I'd wanted to ask Stephen Trevelyan what his comment last night meant. My lying skills were dismal.

"Mr. Trevelyan," I called out.

He turned back.

"Justin wanted to hone his skills at chess so that you would be impressed with them. What I am trying to say is that you are needed."

He didn't say anything in return. He glanced at Constance, who was smelling one of the large, deep magenta roses. "Constance, if you pick my mother's Great Westerns, she will most likely faint. They were my father's favorites. He brought the hybrid back on their last trip to France."

Constance shook her head. "She never tends them anymore. They just waste away in this garden." Benedict Trevelyan lifted an admonishing brow. She pouted. "I will order roses from the florist for my hair, then. Does that make you happy?"

Benedict Trevelyan shrugged and walked away.

Stephen Trevelyan held out his arm to Constance. "I will be glad to play with Justin at any time, except today. Connie and I are going to the bay. She wants to see the steamboats. What other time would be best?

"Tomorrow afternoon after the riding lesson."

"I will be there." He escorted Constance back toward the house.

It was then that I felt a tug on my skirt and remembered that Robert still stood next to me. His eyes were huge, and he looked very scared. He'd gotten lost in the adult shuffle of treacherous undercurrents. I couldn't even blame the other adults for it, either. The boys were in my charge, and I was as guilty as everyone else. I knelt down and hugged him. "You were a very good boy to be so quiet while the others talked."

He hugged me back. "Miss Wovell. Is everything going to be awright?"

"All right," I corrected. "And yes, it will be. Did you get all of your rocks together?"

"Yes. Two for each finger."

We sat on the blanket adding and subtracting rocks until he had a clear understanding of both concepts and couldn't sit still any longer. I could see he was still worried. "Do you think Jus is alwight?"

"I am sure he is, but lets go find him, and I will read you both more of
Through the Looking Glass
'' The worry fell from Robert's eyes, and he jumped up with excitement. "Tell me more about the cat that smiles."

"I will as soon as we gather our things." He quickly went to work, and I sighed, relieved that at least he was back on steady ground. Now I had to see about Justin.

I found Justin asleep in his room, sprawled on his bed with traces of tears upon his cheeks. Covering him, I placed a feathery kiss on his head and turned back to Robert, blinking tears from my own eyes. Somehow, I vowed I would reach Justin. And in the meantime, I would safeguard Robert's heart. "Let's go to my room to read."

Soon we were cuddled on the settee in my sitting area, reading about Alice and the Cheshire cat I'd read not more than half a page when I saw that Robert had fallen asleep. I was just placing my robe over him when I saw the door to the schoolroom move a tiny bit. Someone was in the schoolroom. "Justin?"

Walking swiftly toward the door, I pulled it open. The room was empty. Or at least I thought it was empty until I saw the light pink hem of a dress disappearing into the wall beside the hearth.

A secret passage! My mind raced. I couldn't believe it. Katherine had had on a pink dress. I dashed across the room, my fingers digging at the paneling until I found the hidden door that hadn't quite closed behind Katherine. Stairs led both up and down. A spider scurried across the floor. In my mind, it was large for a spider, and I hesitated.

Spiders weren't as bad as horses, but that didn't mean I wanted to make their acquaintance either. The glow of a light from below indicated the direction Katherine had taken. Wincing and drawing a deep breath, I quickly followed, knowing that I'd found the answer to how the intruder had disappeared so quickly that night. Why hadn't Benedict Trevelyan said anything about the secret passage then? Surely he had to have known.

I made it to the next landing, heard the swish and the click of a panel shutting, and found myself plunged into total darkness.

Fool
. Shuddering, I wrapped my arms around myself, disbelieving how stupid I'd been. My only thought had been to catch Catherine with no consideration to my own safety. I'd no light with me. Reaching out, I grasped the rail of the stair, deciding to follow the steps down. There had to be a door at the end. I just had to find it.

One step brought my face into a spider web. I screamed in surprise, then shamefully panicked when I felt something crawling on my neck. Brushing frantically at my skin, I quickly backed away and ran into a wall. At least, I thought it was a wall, but it gave away beneath my weight, and I landed with a painful thump on the floor of a room filled with light. I'd found another secret door. Instead of leaping to my feet, I continued to swat at myself, desperately assuring myself no spiders were on me—

"Good God, Miss Lovell! What in damnation are you doing?"

I rolled to my knees at the sound of Benedict Trevelyan's voice. Looking up, I found him standing naked in a tub of steamy water not more than four feet away. He wasn't the least bit self-conscious about being found naked. I decided at that second that I didn't need spectacles after all. I could see quite well. Every hair, every droplet of water, every muscle, every nuance of Benedict Trevelyan's large male body, imprinted itself upon my mind. He was huge ... everywhere ... and I found myself looking especially there, too fascinated and shocked to do anything else.

Then, right before my eyes, that huge thing that made him male became immediately bigger, immensely bigger.

"My God," I gasped.

"Though some men wished to be worshiped, I am not one of them, Miss Lovell. But I thank you for the compliment.''  Benedict Trevelyan sounded dryly amused. He stepped from the tub and turned his back to me, reaching for a towel.

Only then did I gather my wits enough to absorb what had just happened, what I'd just seen, and where I was. I'd landed myself in the master of Trevelyan Hill's bedroom. Shaken, I turned my back to him and sat on the floor. Standing would have been beyond my capabilities. I shut my eyes, too. Otherwise I would have been too tempted to peek.

"My word, Mr. Trevelyan, I must profusely apologize. I was reading to Robert about the Cheshire cat, you know, the one who talks to Alice after she has fallen through the looking glass, and I looked up to see the schoolroom door move, and I thought it was Justin, he'd fallen asleep on his bed, there were tears on his cheeks, so I went after him, but it wasn't Justin, for I saw the hem of Katherine's pink dress disappear into a secret passage—why, imagine my surprise at that, which is something you should have mentioned when I had had an intruder—anyway I was following the direction of the light when it suddenly disappeared and I found"—I gulped—"a spider."

"Miss Lovell, if you would please cease chattering, I would like to escort you back upstairs before Dobbs returns, which should be any moment now."

I shut my mouth.

"It would speed things along if you would open your eyes, too."

I popped my eyes open to see him standing in front of me. He'd put on trousers and a shirt, but hadn't taken the time to button it. He held a lantern and had pushed the panel to the secret passageway open.

"We must hurry, Miss Lovell."

"Yes." I stood on shaky knees. As mortified as I was, it would have been worse if Dobbs had witnessed this debacle.

Benedict grasped my arm and nearly pulled me into the passage. I made it up to the next landing with his support and watched him press open the panel that led us into the schoolroom.

"Next time you go exploring dark places, Miss Lovell, I suggest you carry a lamp."

"Indeed, Mr. Trevelyan, I will seriously consider your advice." I finally summoned the courage to look him in the face. Amusement still ruled his dark features and something else, something akin to the gleam of the demon door.

I gasped.

"You have managed to attract a web, Miss Lovell," he said softly, reaching up to brush something from my hair.

"Yes," I whispered.

He didn't say anything then. He set the lamp on the floor, grabbed my shoulders, and connected his lips to mine. This was no barely there thing. This was...everything. His entire body enveloped me as his mouth slanted over mine, parting my lips. Then, warm and shocking, his tongue thrust into my mouth and he pulled me flush against him. My breasts pressed to his chest, his thigh pushed between my legs, and my tongue instinctively swept against his as liquid fire erupted inside me. I moaned.

He kissed me until I thought I would die from the pleasure of it. His body was hard to my touch, velvet and iron, just as I thought. The grip of his hands was firm upon my back, and the huge part of him that made him male pressed against my hip, leaving a lasting impression of his arousal.

"My heavenly word," I gasped when he broke off the kiss. We were both breathing heavily. I felt as if an entire universe that I'd only heard or seen bare glimpses of had been revealed to me.

Benedict took a step back. "Fortunately neither words nor heaven have little to do with desire between a woman and man, Miss Lovell. Consider yourself kissed. And should you go exploring again, I would not only take a lamp, I would be prepared for more than a kiss. You know the way to my room."

Taking the lamp, he disappeared into the passage. I stood stunned, my body burning, my mind already imagining a study of exploration into desire. Running back to my room, I locked both doors, more to keep myself locked in until I found the place where I'd lost my mind. I not only knew the way to his room, but I most surely knew the way to my ruin.

Robert still slept upon the settee. I lay on the bed, my breasts aching and my body burning. I had no doubt that I had been well and truly kissed. In fact, I'd been so well kissed that had Benedict kissed me that way in the stables, I may have very well gone running from his employ.