The Mistress of Black Grove Manor (49 page)

I didn't think I would ever end up with someone who was not a soul-mate after that because there just isn't a comparison to that feeling. Therefore, my desire was strong to meet a life partner that was also a soul-mate.

This desire led me to seek out ways to bring the soul-mates to me.  I started to learn really cool techniques for manifesting my desire, and one tool, called a mock-up, was effective about 70% of the time with creating results. My next book, “Powerful Tools for Manifesting a Soul Mate” will give you a detailed explanation of how to do this.

I used this mock up technique on a plane ride to Miami. I was headed out there for a nine-day music festival and I thought it would be fun to see if the technique would work. I specifically asked for a soul-mate who was the most compatible for me and I was going to meet him between certain dates that I would be in Miami.

I had forgotten to be specific and include the words "life-partner."

This was my second time in Miami and just as it did the first time, I felt such amazing energy in that place right after exiting the airport. I also was so excited about the music and the vibe at all of the parties that I was vibrating on a really high frequency, which equals a match-up to your desires and allows the universe to bring them to you.

About the fourth night there, my friends, my brother and I decided to go to a few clubs across town. We ended up on this crazy adventure that I later realized was the Universe orchestrating me to be at the right place, at the right time.  We randomly jumped on a bus because no cabs were available and the bus ended up going the opposite direction. So we hopped off and walked through South Beach, reached our first club and left, and then ended up hanging out in front of an apartment building in a courtyard before we went to the main club we were going to. Through all of this, it was a little like I was above all of these occurrences looking down on them and knowing there was a reason for it.  

Suddenly, I had this urgency to go into the club right at that moment.  I convinced everyone to go in and I basically rushed ahead of them as I entered the place, and I found my way to the dance floor where I was dancing solo for maybe two minutes. I was looking down for some reason and as my head looked up I saw a handsome guy looking up and at me at the same time.  Our mouths dropped and we walked up to each other.  I KNEW right away at first glance that he was why I had ended up there at that specific moment. I had known him for lifetimes and it was an immediate recognition of him.  The first words out of his mouth were, "I've known you for lifetimes!" I replied, "I know."

We were glued together the rest of the night and for the majority of the rest of the trip.  One of the first things of importance he said to me was that he was very spiritual.  This resonated with me so much because of how I had immersed myself in that whole world.  It's funny because he seemed hesitant to tell me that, like he didn't expect me to have that in common.  I think that I kind of scared him a little with my “crazy” experiences.

I remember that the first night after the club closed he walked me to my hotel, and I could literally see my Guides with party hats on and whistle blowers. I wanted to laugh.  I heard them telling me that he was "the one."  Whatever that meant!  At that moment, a really huge synchronicity happened.  When he told me that he was spiritual, kind of with hesitation, as if he assumed that I wouldn't be, I received a text right after that from my spiritual friend who is able to receive clear messages from his Guide. I had mentioned to him earlier to tell his Guide to bring me my soul-mate and he replied that he heard me and it would happen all in good timing!!  I showed this to Tommy at that moment. I'm not sure that he grasped the clear-as-day sign but I sure did!

Anyway, we ended up talking, kissing, and staring into each other's eyes in the lobby for a really long time. The maid mopping the floor around our feet indicated how late, or early it was, so he decided to walk me to my room.  We took the elevator because my place was many floors up.  We ended up saying goodbye for a long time and kissing REALLY passionately in front of the elevator where my room was. He knew it was time for him to leave, so he kept pressing the elevator button but each time it opened we couldn't let go of each other.  I can imagine that it probably was a funny sight to see because each time the door opened with a new person standing in the elevator, we would just shake our heads “no” and the door would close again.

He eventually went back to his hotel.  My hotel was a sky rise and it overlooked South Beach. I stood and looked out of the wall of windows as the sun was coming up over the clear blue ocean.  If you have ever been to Miami, you know how beautiful the sunrises are.  My frequency was so high after being with Tommy and being in this amazing place that it caused me to be perfectly connected to Source Energy.  A high frequency simply means that you are feeling really happy and have clarity.  

Anyway, I looked at the waves and I literally felt that they had an energy of their own and it was like nothing I had ever felt before. Everything was so beautiful that tears poured down my face and I started crying in a room full of friends who were trying to sleep. I looked to the left of me and saw the spirit of a young lady with blonde hair standing next to me. She looked at me and disappeared. It was really cool because I knew that I was just connecting with the higher dimensions.  This is the level that people can be on when soul-mate energy is present.  None of it was a surprise to me.

The second night with Tommy started with me running eight blocks down Collins, a Main Street there, because he texted me that he wanted to meet at my hotel since he was downstairs at the club.  I was at a different event at the time and was a little nervous to see him, but immediately after I saw him I felt that “coming home” feeling and just wanted to melt into his energy to be as close as possible to him.  I could tell that he felt the same.

After dancing for a while, we wanted to be alone so we went to the beach behind the hotel. We took one of the beach chairs and towels that were left out for hotel guests and we wrapped it around us for warmth, as we kissed and gazed into each other's eyes. It felt so right and truly amazing. Time flew by and soon the sun was rising above the ocean horizon. We huddled together in the towel as I sat on his lap watching the beach turn bright and feeling content and grateful for the beautiful moment we were sharing together.  

The last night, my friend Elsa and I met up with his friends. They were all from Canada and VERY tall just like him.  We ended up at the pool at my hotel after failing to find a party to go to.  We decided to go have a party at the beach, so I went and grabbed my brother who brought his jam box and all of his percussion instruments. It ended up being another magical night. We were dancing in the sand to the music and my brother was playing the bongos while others were playing his shakers, claves, etc. There were smiles and good vibes coming from everyone until the beach patrol came and told us that the beach was closed. I knew that the Universe was giving Tommy and I alone time before he had to catch his flight in the morning.

So everyone left and we stayed on the beach in a different spot, hoping to avoid getting kicked off. This night the energy shifted a little more and got even more intense.  His kisses felt different. He was completely opening up to me.  I remember hugging him and feeling his energy so strong that my whole body was shaking and then source energy flowed through me and tears poured down my face.  I told him that the energy was just sooo intense for me. He agreed.  

He then kept saying that he hadn't expected all of this and that he'd always longed to meet someone with whom he could connect in this way but things were complicated for him.  I knew at that moment it was because he had a girlfriend.  I asked him and he confirmed it but the weird thing was that I wasn't upset since I had just been in a similar situation with Alex.  I could somewhat empathize even though I wasn't officially in a relationship with my last dilemma.  We briefly talked about his relationship but at that point I didn't feel like it was my place to tell him how to be happy or judge him for getting close to me. I was a little disappointed but it was all a whirlwind, just like with Patrick, because he was leaving for home in the morning, which was really far from me.  I lived in California and he was on the other side of Canada. I just wanted to soak up all of the energy that I could from that night with him. This had been the most passionate soul-mate experience thus far, on top of the unconditional love energy that comes with that connection.

We walked back in the early morning with the sun so bright in our eyes, holding each other so tight that you would think our circulation would be cut off. It was all so surreal and I couldn't believe that I was going to have to part from another soul-mate.                              

We stopped on the steps in front of my hotel as people were just waking up and the hotel staff start to hustle about.  I remember the door man standing there as we came up obviously looking like we were up all night AGAIN.  I kept telling Tommy that he needed to go because I didn't want him to miss his flight but we just kept standing there for about a half an hour staring into each other's eyes.  At that moment, instead of seeing into his soul like I have described before, I not only could see that but I saw my own eyes as I looked into his. It was like I was looking at my own soul. It's really hard to explain.  Anyway, I finally was able to pull away and walk up the steps only to turn around and see him standing in the same place with a sad, longing look in his eyes. After walking a little further, I turned around again, and seeing him still there with the same look that I am sure that I had on my face, I quickly turned and sprinted into the hotel as I cried all of the way to my room. Tears were streaming down my face as everyone walked by.  I hadn't expected it to be so hard to say good-bye.

~After Returning Home~

I heard from Tommy the first few days after I returned and he was texting me that he'd never connected with anyone the way that he connected with me, and he was thinking about the situation a lot.  I really hadn't felt comfortable texting him much because I knew he still had a girlfriend and the situation on his part was never brought up to see me if he left his girl. I basically just told him that I hoped he would do what's best for him and not stay with her only because he didn't want to hurt her. Eventually, the texts and emails became somewhat superficial on his end and I just tried to forget him.

   I found out later that he had broken up with his girlfriend but I guess the fact that he didn't reach out to me to see me kind of annoyed me, even though we did live so far away.  I guess it would have been pointless, but in my eyes I would've made every attempt to be with someone with whom you have that bond with, no matter how far away they are. I guess I think with my heart more than my head when it comes to that kind of unconditional love.  

In the few months that followed, I fell into a depression, but not really because of Tommy.  I wished him well and had gotten over him.  It was more so because this was further proof to me that I couldn't trust my intuition OR my Guides!  I wondered if I heard them telling me that he was the one because I
wanted
it to be so, or if he had switched up the universal plan because his free will changed afterwards. I just couldn't fathom that the universe could orchestrate all of those events for us to meet at that time when I had asked for no more short term soul-mates. I hadn't specifically asked for a life partner when I did my mock up on the plane though. My mind was reeling with confusion and bewilderment. My intuition was telling me that he was sooo right for me and my Guides were telling me that he was the one!  It all seemed like another cruel joke to me.  I was grateful for all of the experiences but not for the pain afterwards or the repeated mistrust in my guidance system.  

This is taken from my diary. "I don't think I would've written this into my life plan. It just doesn't make any sense at all!  I highly doubt I'm supposed to have four soul-mates. Most people don't even get one!  I can't even imagine another coming. I'm not trying to set a record here! "

I wanted so badly to believe that my Guides had the best of intentions and that I was following a path that was put in place for me with a divine purpose, but this was my last straw.  I just couldn't see much of a positive side to my repeated path with soul-mates and feeling like I was being misled by God and my guides. It was such a huge thing for me to feel a betrayal and resentment towards my guidance system.  It's a horrible feeling to not feel like you can trust your higher self, God, or your spiritual path to have your best interest. After all, what else is there if you can’t believe in that?

Because of this depression and feeling like I was out of my body most of the time, I ended up having a terrifying experience that will be engrained in my mind forever!  

One night, I was lying in bed and was about to fall asleep, when a spirit came to me.  Now this was not out of the ordinary for me once I started my spiritual journey, and I usually welcomed any beings that were visiting me if they were vibrating on a high frequency.  In fact, I had only had positive encounters with spirits up until that point because I was matching their positive frequency.  However, that was not the case on this particular night.  A spirit came from behind me while I was laying on my side and had at first enveloped me in a loving embrace.  Since I was halfway awake and half asleep, I had a hard time discerning if the being was of the flesh or was in spirit form.  It didn’t matter to me though because the energy felt so welcoming and it felt just like the soul-mate energy I had experienced many times.  It was buzzing all around me and filled up my body with a love vibration.  I turned around to face this being.  This was NOT a dream, by the way.  I was awake and physically turned my body around. I ended up looking into the eyes of a man who told me that he had finally found me and we were supposed to be together.  I knew that he was a spirit at that point but he felt like a solid body.  He began to kiss me and I felt the surge of amazing energy go through my lips.  It was all so confusing and wonderful at the same time.  At that point, I was assuming that he was someone in my soul-group who cared about me and had come to let me know that everything was going to be ok.  I fully embraced this energy...until in a split second, EVERYTHING switched.  I opened my eyes and this man had turned into something evil looking.  I can only describe it as a demon.  The energy completely changed to one of a heavy, sickening feeling.  The being began to lunge at me and I was literally fighting with it as I was laying on my side in my bed.  It was holding me and I began screaming and telling it to leave.  This did not work and it was holding me while I tried to push it away.  I then remembered to ask for help, so I started calling for my angels and guides to help me.  As I did so, the evil being vanished and I saw what appeared to be an angel hovering high in the air above the foot of my bed.  It was life-size and was showing him/herself as a glowing white energy with huge white wings.  It also disappeared shortly after showing itself to me.