The Mission Song (11 page)

‘Slip him an overdose, my advice. Bottle of soluble aspirin, he can’t miss. Make sure her fingerprints aren’t on it, stash it under his pillow. Got your mobile, Anton?’

‘Right here, Skipper.’

‘He makes his call, then hand it to the boys. No mobiles on the op. And no bloody smoking,’ he yelled to the whole room. ‘That’s your last fag, everybody. Fags out
now
!’

‘I’d like to be private,’ I told Anton, as soon as we were once more alone.

‘Wouldn’t we all, guv?’ he replied, not budging from where he stood.

I pulled off my Harris Tweed jacket and rolled back my left shirtsleeve, exposing the telephone and extension number of Hannah’s ward written in her own hand with the felt-tipped pen from behind her ear. I dialled, and a woman’s voice sang, ‘Tropical,’ with a Jamaican lilt.

‘Yes, hello, Grace,’ I said brightly. ‘I’m ringing regarding the patient Jean-Pierre. I believe Hannah is at his bedside. May I speak to her, please?’

‘Salvo?’ My heart leaped, but it was still Grace. ‘Is that you, Salvo? The interpreter man?’

‘Yes, it is, and I’d like to speak to Hannah, please’—keeping the phone pressed hard against my ear on account of Anton. ‘It’s personal and it’s a tiny bit urgent. Could you kindly bring her to the phone? Just tell her it’s’—I was about to say Salvo, but caught myself in the nick of time. ‘Me,’ I said, with a smile at Anton.

Grace, unlike Hannah, moved at African tempo. If something was worth doing, it was worth doing slowly. ‘Hannah she’s
busy
, Salvo,’ she complained at last.

Busy?
Busy with whom? Busy how? I adopted a military, Maxie-like tone.

‘All the same, perhaps I could just speak to her for one minute, okay? It’s important, Grace. She’ll know
exactly
what it’s about. If you don’t mind, please.’

Another monumental delay, patiently shared by Anton.

‘You farin’ well, Salvo?’

‘Fine, thank you. Is she there?’

‘Hannah she’s got some real heavy meetin’ with Matron goin’ on. They wouldn’t appreciate at all to be disturbed. Better call another time, Salvo. Maybe tomorrow when she’s off.’

With
Matron
? Like Matron who runs the world?
Real heavy?
About what?
Sleeping with married interpreters?
I must leave her a message, but what message?

‘Salvo?’ Grace again.

‘What is it?’

‘I got some real sad news for you.’

‘What’s that?’

‘Jean-Pierre. The old bum who was sleepin’ rough. We lost him, Salvo. Hannah was real cut up. Me too.’

I must have closed my eyes here. When I opened them Anton had removed the phone from my hand and given it to the tracksuit.

‘That’s our wife’s name, is it?’ he asked. ‘Hannah?’

‘Why shouldn’t it be?’

‘I wouldn’t know, governor, would I? Depends who else you’ve got written on that arm of yours, doesn’t it?’

Maxie’s men were shouldering kitbags and stepping into the darkness. A no-name aeroplane loomed stubby and sinister in the twilight. Anton walked at my side while big Benny took care of the Frenchman in the beret.

5

It is a known fact that the thoughts of the most loyal raw recruit on the eve of battle stray in unforeseen directions, some of them downright mutinous. And I will not pretend that my own were in this regard exempt, given that the décor, ventilation and lighting system of our windowless flying machine would have been better suited to the transport of champion dogs, and that the howl of our twin engines, once you got hooked on it, was a composite of all the voices I didn’t wish to hear, with Penelope’s in pole position. In place of cushioned seats we had iron cages opening onto a central aisle, each equipped with a grimy prison mattress. Hammocks of orange webbing were slung from the ceiling, grab handles being provided for the convenience of those wishing to jump into the unknown. The one mitigating factor was the presence of Anton and Benny in the cells to either side of me, but Benny appeared to be doing his household accounts and Anton was ostentatiously absorbed in a pornographic magazine of great age.

Our flight deck, regarded by many as an aircraft’s sanctum, was cordoned off with frayed ribbon. Our two pilots, middle-aged, overweight and unshaven, were so busy ignoring their passengers that you might well have asked whether they knew they had any. Add to that a chain of blue corridor lights evocative of a certain North London hospital and it was little wonder if my sense of high purpose should give way to the internal journeys I was making on the newly opened shuttle between Penelope and Hannah.

Within minutes of take-off our team, almost to a man, had fallen victim to African sleeping sickness, using their kitbags for pillows. Two exceptions were Maxie and his French friend who, huddled together at the aft end of the plane, were swapping sheets of paper like an anxious couple who have received a threatening communication from the mortgage company. The Frenchman had removed his beret, exposing an aquiline face, penetrating eyes and a tonsured pate fringed with straw-coloured hair. His name, which I extracted from the laconic Benny, was Monsieur Jasper. What Frenchman was ever called Jasper? I asked myself incredulously. But perhaps like me he was travelling under an alias.

‘Do you think I should go over and offer them my services?’ I asked Anton, suspecting that the two were having difficulty communicating.

‘Governor, if the skipper wants your services, the skipper will take them,’ he replied, without lifting his head from his magazine.

Of the remaining members of our team, save one, I can give no account. I remember them as a grim-jawed group in bulked-out anoraks and baseball caps who stopped talking whenever I drew close.

‘Wife problems sorted, old boy? Chaps round here call me Skipper by the by.’

I must have been dozing, for when I looked up I found myself staring into the magnified blue eyes of Maxie as he squatted Arab-style at my elbow. My spirits instantly revived. How many times had I not listened to Brother Michael regaling me with the feats of arms performed by Colonel T. E. Lawrence and other great Englishmen at war? With the touch of a magician’s wand the interior of our plane transformed itself into an Arab nomad’s tent. The overhead webbing became our goatskin roof. In my imagination, desert stars were peeping through the gaps.

‘Wife well and truly sorted, thank you, Skipper,’ I replied, suiting my energetic manner to his. ‘No further problems in that department, I’m pleased to say.’

‘How about that ailing chum of yours?’

‘Oh, well, he died actually,’ I replied with equal casualness.

‘Poor bugger. Still, no point in hanging around the back of the herd once your time’s up. You a Napoleon buff?’

‘Well, not exactly,’ I replied, reluctant to admit that
Cromwell, Our Chief of Men
was as far as my historical researches had advanced.

‘By the time he got to Borodino, he’d lost the plot. Sleepwalking at Smolensk, gaga by the time he got to Borodino, fucked at forty. Couldn’t piss, couldn’t think straight. Gives me three more years. How about you?’

‘Well, twelve actually,’ I replied, privately marvelling that a man with no French should appoint Napoleon his rôle model.

‘It’s a quickie. Anderson tell you that?’ He ran on, not waiting for my answer. ‘We tiptoe in, talk to a few Congolese chaps, cut a deal with ’em, get their signatures on a contract, tiptoe out. We’ve got ’em for six hours tops. Each of ’em has said yes separately, now we’ve got to get ’em to say yes to each other. Officially they’re somewhere else, and that’s where they’ve got to be by the time the clock chimes midnight. With me?’

‘With you, Skipper.’

‘This is your first gig, right?’

‘I’m afraid it is. My baptism of fire, you might say,’ I conceded, with a rueful smile to indicate that I was alive to my drawbacks. And, unable to restrain my curiosity: ‘I don’t suppose you’d like to tell me where we’re going, would you, sir?’

‘Little island up north where no one will disturb us. Less you know now, better you’ll sleep later.’ He allowed himself a slight softening of his features. ‘Every time the same with these jobs. “Hurry up and wait”, then “Where the fuck are you?” Next thing you know, there are ten other arseholes in the race, your chaps are scattered across the globe and your back tyre’s got a puncture.’

His restless gaze lighted on a column of suitcase-style boxes, black-painted and of uniform size, tethered to a grid beside the cabin door. At their base, curled up on his mattress like a newborn calf, lay a gnomic man in a flat cloth cap and quilted waistcoat, to all appearances as sound asleep as his comrades.

‘Any of that junk actually
work
, Spider?’ Maxie demanded, raising his voice to carry across the width of the fuselage.

The gnome, no sooner addressed, vaulted to his feet acrobat-style, and stood comically to attention before us.

‘Shouldn’t think so, Skip. Load of old rubbish, by the looks of it,’ he replied cheerfully, in what my top interpreter’s ear instantly identified as a Welsh intonation. ‘With twelve hours to cobble it together, what do you expect for your money?’

‘What have we got to eat?’

‘Well now, Skip, since you ask, an anonymous donor has very kindly sent this Fortnum’s hamper, you see. Or I think he’s anonymous, because search where you will regardless, there’s not a sender’s name to be found anywhere, not so much as a card.’

‘Anything inside it?’

‘Not a lot, frankly, no. A whole York ham, I suppose. About a kilo of foie gras. A couple of sides of smoked salmon, a fillet of cold roast beef, cheesy Cheddar biscuits, magnum of champagne. Nothing to whet the appetite, not really. I thought of sending it back.’

‘Have it on the way home,’ Maxie ordered, cutting him short. ‘What else is on the menu?’

‘Chow mein. Luton’s best. Should be nice and cold by now.’

‘Dish it up, Spider. And say hello to the languages here. Name of Brian. On loan from the Chat Room.’

‘The Chat Room, eh? Well, that takes me back, I will say. Mr Anderson’s sweat shop. He’s still a baritone, is he? Not castrated or anything?’

Spider, as I now knew him, smiled down on me with his boot-button eyes and I smiled back at him in the confidence of having another friend in our great enterprise.

‘And you can do military,’ Maxie announced, extracting from his gas-mask case an old tin flask clad in khaki cloth and a packet of Bath Oliver biscuits. The flask, I later learned, contained Malvern water.

‘What military were we thinking of, Skipper?’ I countered.

My chow mein was cold and gluey, but I was determined to make a good fist of it.

‘Weaponry, ordnance, firepower, calibre, all that crap’—taking a bite of his Bath Oliver biscuit.

I assured him that, thanks to my experience of the Chat Room, I was familiar with a range of technical and military terms. ‘But basically what happens, where there’s no vernacular equivalent, is they filch it from the nearest colonial language,’ I added, getting into my stride. ‘Which, in the case of a Congolese, would naturally mean French.’ And, unable to restrain myself, ‘Unless of course they’ve been Rwandan or Ugandan trained, in which case you’ll get some purloined English, such as
Mag
, or
Ambush
, or
RPG
.’

Maxie appeared no more than politely interested. ‘So a Munyamulenge rabbiting away to a Bembe would talk about a
semi-automatique
so to speak?’

‘Well, assuming they could talk to each other at all,’ I replied, keen to show off my expertise.

‘Meaning what, old boy?’

‘Well, for instance, a Bembe might speak Kinyarwanda, but not be able to make the
total
bridge to Kinyamulenge.’

‘So what do they do?’—wiping his wrist across his mouth.

‘Well, basically, they’d have to muddle through on whatever they had in common. Each would understand the other—to a point, but not necessarily all the way.’

‘So after that?’

‘They might do a bit of Swahili, a bit of French. It depends what they’ve got, really.’

‘Unless they happen to have you around, that it? You speak ’em all.’

‘Well, in this case, yes,’ I replied modestly. ‘I wouldn’t impose, naturally. I’d wait to see what was needed.’

‘So whatever they speak, we speak it better. Right? Well done us,’ he mused. But it was clear from his tone that he wasn’t as satisfied as his words suggested. ‘Question is, do we need to tell ’em all that? Maybe we should play it canny. Keep our hardware under wraps.’

Hardware? What hardware? Or was he still talking about my proficiency in military matters? I cautiously voiced my confusion.

‘
Your
hardware, for Christ’s sake. Your arsenal of languages. Every child knows a good soldier doesn’t advertise his strength to the enemy. Same with your languages. Dig ’em in and keep the tarps over ’em till you need to wheel ’em out. Common sense.’

Maxie, I was beginning to discover, possessed a dangerous and beguiling magic. Part of this magic was making you feel that his most outlandish plan was the normal one, even if you had yet to discover what his plan entailed.

‘Try this one for size,’ he suggested, as if offering me a compromise that would satisfy my over-exacting standards. ‘Suppose we put it out that you speak English, French and Swahili and call it a day? That’s more than enough for anybody. And we keep your little ones to ourselves. How would that grab you? Different kind of challenge for you. New.’

If I had understood him correctly, it wouldn’t grab me in the least, but that wasn’t quite what I replied.

‘In what
context
exactly, Skipper—in what
circumstances
might we be saying that? Or
not
saying it,’ I added, affecting what I hoped was a wise smile. ‘I don’t mean to be pedantic, but who would we be saying it
to
?’

‘To everyone. Whole room. In the interests of the op. To help the conference along. Look.’ He made one of those pauses that professionals make when they’re trying to explain something to a simpleton. In my time, I’ll admit, I have been guilty of the same presumption. ‘We have two Sinclairs’—holding out his bulletproof palms, one for each of me—‘Sinclair
above
the waterline’—raising the left palm—‘and Sinclair
below
the waterline’—dropping the right palm into his lap. ‘Above the line, tip of the iceberg, you speak French and variations of Swahili only. Plus English to your chums, obviously. Which is normal rations for any middle-of-the-list interpreter. With me?’

‘With you thus far, Skipper,’ I affirmed, striving to evince enthusiasm.

‘And
below
it’—I was now staring downward at his right palm—‘the remaining nine-tenths of the iceberg, which is all the other stuff you speak. You could play that one out, couldn’t you? Not all that difficult, once you’ve got a grip on yourself.’ Taking back his hands, he treated himself to another biscuit while he waited for me to see the light.

‘I still don’t think I’m
completely
there, all the same, Skipper,’ I said.

‘Don’t be a tart, Sinclair, of course you are! It’s dead simple. I walk into the conference room. I introduce you.’ He did so, in excruciating French, while he masticated his biscuit: ‘“
Je vous présente Monsieur Sinclair, notre interprète distingué. Il parle anglais, français et Swahili
.” And Bob’s your uncle. Anyone who looses off in another language within your hearing, you don’t understand ’em.’ My facial expression, despite my best efforts, was still not to his liking. ‘For Christ’s sake, man. It’s not such a big deal, acting dumb. Chaps do it every day without even trying. That’s because they
are
dumb. Well, you’re not. You’re fucking brilliant. Well,
be
brilliant. Young strong chap like you, it’s a doddle.’

‘So when do I get to use my
other
languages, Skipper? The ones you call below the waterline,’ I persisted.

The languages I’m proudest of, I was thinking. The languages that separate me from the pack. The languages that in my book are not submerged at all, but triumphantly salvaged. The languages, if you’re me, that should be paraded for all to hear.

‘When you’re told to and not before. You’re under sealed orders. Part one today, part two in the morning, soon as we get final confirmation that the show’s on the road.’ Then to my relief his rare smile came up, the one you’d cross deserts for. ‘You’re our secret weapon, Sinclair. Star of the show and don’t forget it. How many times in life does a fellow get a chance to give a shove to history?’

‘Once if he’s lucky,’ I rejoined loyally.

‘Luck’s just another word for destiny,’ Maxie corrected me, his Bogey-like eyes gleaming mystically. ‘Either you make your own or you’re screwed. This isn’t some candy-arsed training caper. It’s delivering democracy at the end of a gun barrel to the Eastern Congo. Get the right groundswell going, give ’em the right leadership, and the whole of Kivu will come running.’

My head was swirling from this first glimpse of his great vision and his next words spoke straight into my heart—and Hannah’s.

‘Greatest sin committed by the big players in the Congo till now has been indifference, right?’

‘Right,’ I replied heartily.

‘Intervene if you can make a fast buck, get the fuck out ahead of the next crisis. Right?’