The Misadventure of Shelrock Holmes (48 page)

know, is devoted to that place - spends hours thei WATSON : Holmes, what nonsense are you — HOLMES: But I think you are quite right, Miss de Vinne. Harrod's

is a great deal better in my opinion.

Miss DE VINNE: But I never go to Harrod's, Mr. Holmes in fact 1 hardly ever go to any big store, except for one or two things. But what has this got to do — HOLMES: Well, in principle, I don't care for them much either, but

they're convenient sometimes.

Miss DE VINNE: Yes, I find the Army and Navy stores useful now and then, but why on earth are we talking about shops and stores when the thing that matters is Lady Barton's necklac HOLMES: Ah, yes, I was coming to that. (Pauses) I'm sorry, Miss

de Vinne, but I'm afraid I can't take up this case. Miss DE VINNE: You refuse, Mr. Holmes?

HOLMES: I am afraid I am obliged to do so. It is a case that would inevitably take some time. I am in sore need of a holiday and only today my devoted friend Watson has made all arrangements to take me on a Mediterranean cruise immediately after < WATSON : Holmes, this is absurd. You know that I merely -Miss DE VINNE: Dr. Watson, if Mr. Holmes can't help me won't you? You don't know how terrible all this is for me as well as Lady Barton.

WATSON: My dear lady, I have some knowledge of my friend's methods and they often seem incomprehensible. Holmes, you can't mean this?

HOLMES: Certainly I do, my dear Watson. But I am unwilling that any lady should leave this house in a state of" distress. (Goes to door) Mrs. Hudson!

MRS. HUDSON: Coming, sir. (Mas. HUDSON enters)

HOLMES : Mrs. Hudson, be good enough to conduct this lady to Dr. Watson's dressing room. She is tired and a little upset. Let her rest on the sofa there while Dr. Watson and I have a few minutes' quiet talk.

MRS. HUDSON : Very good, sir.

(Exeunt MRS. HUDSON and Miss DE VINNE, the latter looking appealingly at DR. WATSON)

HOLMES: (Lighting cherry-wood pipe) Well, Watson?

WATSON: Well, Holmes, in all my experience I don't think I have ever seen you so unaccountably ungracious to a charming girl.

HOLMES : Oh, yes, she has charm, Watson — they always have. What do you make of her story ?

WATSON: Not very much, I confess. It seemed fairly clear as far as it went, but you wouldn't let her tell us any detail. Instead, you began a perfectly ridiculous conversation about the comparative merits of various department stores. I've seldom heard you so inept.

HOLMES: Then you accept her story? WATSON: Why not?

HOLMES : Why not, my dear Watson ? Because the whole thing is a parcel of lies.

WATSON: But, Holmes, this is unreasoning prejudice.

HOLMES : Unreasoning, you say ? Listen, Watson. This letter purports to have come from the Countess of Barton. I don't know her Ladyship's handwriting, but I was struck at once by its labored character, as exhibited in this note. It occurred to me, further, that

CHRISTMAS EVE

it might be useful to obtain a speamen of Miss de Vinne's to put alo™ side it - hence my tiresome inability to catch her name Nov. my dear Watson, I call your particular attent.on to the c.p.t.1 B s which happen to occur in both specimens. W.TSON: They're quite different, Holmes but - yes, they've both

got a peculiar curl where the letter finishes. HOLMES- Point No. i, my dear Watson, but an isolated one Now, "gh I could not recognize the handwriting, I knew thjs note-paper as soon as I saw and felt it. Look at the watermark, Watson, and tell me what you find. WATSON : (Holding the paper to the light) A. and N. (After a pause)

Army and Navy . . . Why, Holmes, d'you mean that-HOLMES: I mean that this letter was written by your charming friend

in the name of the Countess of Barton. WATSON: And what follows?

HOLMES: Ah, that is what we are left to conjecture. What will follow immediately is another interview with the young woman who ca 1 herself Violet de Vmne. By the way, Watson after you had finished threatening me with that nasty-looking revolver a little while ago, what did you do with the instrument? WATSON: It's here, Holmes, in my pocket. HOLMES: Then, having left my own in my bedroom, I think I'll

borrow it, if you don't mind. WATSON: But surely, Holmes, you don't suggest that-

HOLMES: My dear Watson, I suggest no ^g~f Ce £.^^ ^ possibly find ourselves in rather deeper waters than Miss d Vmne ch rm and innocence have hitherto led you to expect. (Goes to /ooOMrs. Hudson, ask the lady to be good enough to rqoin us.

MRS. HUDSON: (Off) Very good, sir.

(Enter Miss DE VINNE)

HOLMES: (Amiably) Well, Miss de Vinne, are you rested? Miss DE VINNE: Well, a little perhaps, but as you can do nothing forme, hadn't I better go?

HOLMES: You look a little flushed, Miss de Vinne; do you feel the room rather too warm ?

Miss DE VINNE: No, Mr. Holmes, thank you, I — HOLMES: Anyhow, won't you slip your coat off and — Miss DE VINNE: Oh no, really. (Gathers coat round her)

HOLMES: (Threateningly) Then, if you won't take your coat off, d'you mind showing me what is in the right-hand pocket of it? (A loo^ of terror comes on Miss DE VINNE'S face) The game's up, Violet de Vinne. (Points revolver, at which Miss DE VINNE screams and throws up her hands) Watson, oblige me by removing whatever you may discover in the right-hand pocket of Miss de Vinne's coat.

WATSON: (Taking out note-case) My own note-case, Holmes, with the ten five-pound notes in it!

HOLMES: Ah!

Miss DE VINNE: (Distractedly) Let me speak, let me speak. I'll explain everything.

HOLMES: Silence! Watson, was there anything else in the drawer of your dressing table besides your note-case?

WATSON : I'm not sure, Holmes.

HOLMES : Then I think we had better have some verification.

Miss DE VINNE : No, no. Let me —

HOLMES: Mrs. Hudson!

MRS. HUDSON: (Off) Coming, sir.

HOLMES: (To MRS. HUDSON off) Kindly open the right-hand drawer of Dr. Watson's dressing table and bring us anything that you may find in it.

Miss DE VINNE : Mr. Holmes, you are torturing me. Let me tell you everything.

HOLMES : Your opportunity will come in due course, but in all probability before a different tribunal. I am a private detective, not a Criminal Court judge. (Miss DE VINNE weeps)

(Enter MRS. HUDSON with jewel case}

MRS HUDSON: I found this, sir. But it must be something new that the doctor's been buying. I've never seen it before. (MRS. I leaves}

HOLMES: Ah, Watson, more surprises! (Opens case and holds up a string of pearls) The famous pearls belonging to the Counte Barton, if I'm not mistaken.

Miss DE VINNE: For pity's sake, Mr. Holmes, let me speak Even the lowest criminal has that right left him. And this time I will tell you the truth.

HOLMES: (Sceptically) The truth? Well?

Miss DE VINNE: Mr. Holmes, I have an only brother. He's a dear ' -I love him better than anyone in the world-but, God forgive him, he's a scamp . . . always in trouble, always in debt Thro days ago he wrote to me that he was in an even deeper hole than usual If he couldn't raise fifty pounds in the course of a week, he would be done for and, worse than that, dishonored and disgraced forever. I couldn't bear it. I'd no money. I daren^t tell my mother. I swore to myself that I'd get that fifty pounds if I had t steal it. That same day at Lady Barton's, I was looking, as I d often looked, at the famous pearls. An idea suddenly came to me. They were worn only once or twice a year on special occasions. Why shouldn't I pawn them for a month or so? I could surely get fifty pounds for them and then somehow I would scrape together the money to redeem them. It was almost certain that Lady Barton wouldn't want them for six months. Oh, I know I was mad, but did it I found a fairly obscure little pawnbroker quite near here, but to my horror he wouldn't take the pearls - looked at me very suspiciously and wouldn't budge, though I went to him two c three times. Then, this afternoon, the crash came. When Lady Barton discovered that the pearls were missing I rushed out of the house, saying that I would tell the police. But actuaUy I went home and tried to think. I remembered your name. A wild scheme came into my head. If I could pretend to consult you and somehow leave the pearls in your house, then you could pretend that you had recovered them and return them to Lady Barton. Oh, I know you 11

CHRISTMAS EVE

laugh, but you don't know how distraught I was. Then, when you sent me into that dressing room, I prowled about like a caged animal. I saw those banknotes and they seemed like a gift from Heaven. Why shouldn't I leave the necklace in their place? You would get much more than fifty pounds for recovering them from Lady Barton and I should save my brother. There, that's all ... and now, I suppose, I exchange Dr. Watson's dressing room for a cell at the police station!

HOLMES: Well, Watson?

WATSON: What an extraordinary story, Holmes!

HOLMES: Yes, indeed. (Turning to Miss DE VINNE) Miss de Vinne, you told us in the first instance a plausible story of which I did not believe a single word; now you have given us a version which in many particulars seems absurd and incredible. Yet I believe it to be the truth. Watson, haven't I always told you that fact is immeasurably stranger than fiction?

WATSON: Certainly, Holmes. But what are you going to do?

HOLMES : Going to do ? Why — er — I'm going to send for Mrs. Hudson (Calling off stage) Mrs. Hudson!

MRS. HUDSON: (Off) Coming, sir. (Enters) Yes, sir.

HOLMES: Oh, Mrs. Hudson, what are your views about Christmas?

WATSON: Really, Holmes.

HOLMES: My dear Watson, please don't interrupt. As I was saying, Mrs. Hudson, I should be very much interested to know how you feel about Christmas.

MRS. HUDSON: Lor', Mr. 'Olmes, what questions you do ask. I don't hardly know exactly how to answer but . . . well ... I suppose Christmas is the season of good will towards men — and women too, sir, if I may say so.

HOLMES: (Slowly) "And women too." You observe that, Watson. WATSON: Yes, Holmes, and I agree.

HOLMES: (To Miss DE VINNE) My dear young lady, you will observe that the jury are agreed upon their verdict.

Miss DE VINNE: Oh, Mr. Holmes, how can I ever thank you? HOLMES: Not a word. You must thank the members of, the jury . . .

Mrs. Hudson! MRS. HUDSON : Yes, sir.

HOLMES: Take Miss de Vinne, not into Dr. Watson's room this time, but into your own comfortable kitchen and give her a cup . famous tea. MRS. HUDSON: How do the young lady take it, sir? Rather stronghke,

with a bit of a tang to it?

HOLMES: You must ask her that yourself. Anyhow Mrs. Hudson, give her a cup that cheers.

(Exeunt MRS. HUDSON and Miss DE VINNE)

WATSON: (In the highest spirits) Half a minute, Mrs Hudson I'm coming to see that Miss de Vinne has her tea as she likes it. And I tell you what, Holmes (Looking towards Miss DE VINNE and holding up note-case}, you are not going to get your Mediterranean cruise.

(As WATSON goes out, carol-singers are heard in the

distance singing "Good King Wenceslas.")

HOLMES: (Relighting his pipe and smiling meditatively) Christmas Eve!

CURTAIN

THE MAN WHO WAS NOT DEAD by MANLY WADE WELLMAN

It is singularly fitting that the last story in our boo\, reprinted from "Argosy" magazine, August 9, 7947, should have as its underlying theme the most important issue in our lives —the winning of the war.

Mr. Sherlocf^ Holmes, you'll remember, did his bit in World War I, but it was not, than\ the Lord, His Last Bow.

Holmes will never die —he is unconquered and unconquerable. For Sherloc^ Holmes is England.

O,

UT OF the black sky plummeted Doling, toward the black earth. He knew nothing of the ground toward which he fell, save that it was five miles inland from the Sussex coast and, according to Dr, Goebbels's best information, sparsely settled.

The night air hummed in his parachute rigging, and he seemed to drop faster than ten feet a second, but to think of that was unworthy of a trusted agent of the German Intelligence. Though the pilot above had not dared drop him a light, Boling could land without much mishap. . . . Even as he told himself that, land he did. He struck heavily on hands and knees, and around him settled the limp folds of the parachute.

At once he threw off the harness, wadded the fabric and thrust it out of sight between a boulder and a bush. Standing up, he took stock of himself. The left leg of his trousers was torn, and the knee skinned — that was all. He remembered that William the Conquerer had also gone sprawling when he landed at Hastings, not so far from here. The omen was good. Boling stooped, like Duke William, and clutched a handful of pebbles.

"Thus do I seize the land!" he quoted aloud, for he was at heart theatrical.

His name was not really Boling, though he had prospered under that and other aliases. Nor, though he wore the uniform of a Bntis private, was he British. Born in Chicago late m 1917, of unsavory parents, he had matured to a notable career of imposture and theft He had entered the employment of the Third Re.ch, not for love of its cause or thirst for adventure, but for the very high rate of pay Boling was practical as well as gifted. He had gladly accepted *e present difficult and dangerous mission, which might well be the

^wn came and peered over his shoulder Bolmg saw that he was on a grassy slope, wi^an.ill-used grave road below it. Just across that road showed lighted windows - a house with early risers. He walked toward those lights

Which way was Eastbourne, was his first problem. He had never seen the town; he had only the name and telephone number there ot one Philip Davis who, if addressed by him as "Uncle," would know that the time had arrived to muster fifteen others.

They, in turn, would gather waiting comrades from the surround ing community, picked, hard men who whole years ago had tab lodging and stored arms thereabouts. These would organize and operate a. a crack infantry battalion. After that, the well-tested routine that had helped to conquer Norway, Holland, Belgium, France -seizure of communications, blowing up of rails and roads, capt