The Mind's Eye (11 page)
Authors: K.C. Finn
Tags: #young adult, #historical, #wwii, #historical romance, #ww2, #ya, #europe, #telepathic, #clean teen publishing, #kc finn
self-satisfied face, but the prospect of actually walking was too
exciting to hide. I swallowed my pride and nodded eagerly, looking
down at my own feet. It was a strange perspective to see myself
standing upright like that; I was so used to looking at my knees
that it was funny to have them out of sight under the flowing
pleats of my skirt. Under Bickerstaff’s instruction I gently loaded
more weight onto one leg than the other, eventually letting one
foot come off the ground completely. But before I could use it to
step forward the jellyfish feeling in the knee with the weight on
it vanished, leaving only the crushing agony of bone hitting bone
as it jarred.
I collapsed
in an awkward swinging motion, my lifted foot finding nowhere good
to land, and suddenly I felt the familiar wave of defeat as the
doctor’s arms swept around my torso and put me back into the seat
of the chair with a little heave. I tried to tell myself that I had
made a great stride, that this was serious progress, even if it had
still ended with me flailing and landing back in the chair. A dark
little voice also told me it was Bickerstaff’s fault. He always
pushed me too far. He had his nose in his file again immediately,
one blonde strand of his hair falling down over his eyes. He pushed
it back sharply without looking up from his notes.
“
I want you to try standing like that for a few minutes at a
time,” he instructed. No praise for my progress, as usual. “Lean on
a person or a mantelpiece or something.”
bother to say ‘Yes, Doctor’ because it was quite clear he wasn’t
listening. Bickerstaff wrote a few things down and then snapped my
file shut, checking his appointment list like he always did, ready
to call in the next patient whilst I struggled to get my chair out
of the way. When he saw the list his brow came down hard over his
eyes and to my surprise he actually looked at me.
“
Why am I seeing Vanessa?” he asked. It took me a moment to
realise he meant Ness Fach. I hadn’t heard her full name in
months.
“
She’s bumped her head,” I explained, “Mam thought you’d
better see it.”
rose from his seat sharply and actually took hold of my chair to
wheel me out. He did everything too quickly, like he couldn’t wait
to get rid of me, swinging his door open and pushing me back out
into the waiting room where Blod sat with Ness curled up on her
knee.
“
Vanessa Price,” he said quickly, abandoning me as he waited
for Blod to scoop up her sister and follow him into the
room.
after him her usual haughty, high-heeled way. His behaviour was too
strange to resist. There was no-one else gathered on the second
hand chairs of the waiting room and the nice old receptionist was
nowhere to be seen, so I closed my eyes and let my hands slowly
rise to my face.
I got
Bickerstaff immediately, which was both pleasing and awful as I
remembered that horrid heavy feeling of being in his mind. I had
steered well clear of connecting with him up until now, but as he
shut the door of his office there was something new in the mix of
depressing sensations in the doctor’s head. Fear. He focused on
Ness immediately and crouched beside where she sat on Blod’s lap,
pulling back her tawny strands to see the reddish-purple welt about
the size of a shilling on her head.
“
When did this happen?” he asked in a breathless tone. I could
feel his whole face frowning as Ness tried desperately to wriggle
away from his touch. Something sad hit him square in the chest when
she turned her head out of his reach.
“
Oh yesterday sometime,” Blod said without a care, “She’s
fine, it’s just a bloody bump.”
“
Where were you?” Bickerstaff demanded.
“
Doing things,” Blod retorted. Bickerstaff was watching her
face now as she rolled her eyes at him. I wished I had the courage
she did to be so rude to the unpleasant man.
“
You should take more responsibility,” he ordered.
short laugh. “Ha! You’re one to talk.”
“
I would have,” he answered sharply. I could feel him getting
hot under his collar, tense and angry in an instant. “If you’d let
me.”
suddenly. They were talking about something that they knew about
and I didn’t.
“
Shush!” Blod said quickly, looking down at Ness, who had once
again curled into a hedgehog-like ball. “Don’t say nothin’. She’s
repeating everything at the moment like a bloody
parrot.”
“
Bloody,” mumbled Ness.
“
Especially that,” Blod sighed.
sure at first, he was awfully hard to interpret, but I rather
thought Bickerstaff might be smiling a little. His focus went from
Blod’s beautiful, irritated face back to the little girl.
“
I’ll get her a plaster and a lolly,” he said with a
sigh.
“
Lolly!”
exclaimed the word suddenly, uncurling to look for the person who
had promised her something sweet. And now I knew Bickerstaff was
definitely smiling. A tiny spark of some nice feeling cut into his
heavy chest, but it seemed like agony for it to stay there, like it
was struggling against the crushing weight of sadness that consumed
the rest of him. The young doctor went to his desk and retrieved a
little yellow lolly and a sticking plaster. He unwrapped both but
gave Ness the lolly first, using the time to attach the plaster to
the welt on her head before she noticed what he was doing. As she
slurped away happily his gaze fell on Blod again, who was looking
right at him. Her mean face had fallen away, leaving just her
pretty features and a blank, thoughtful look.
“
Your hair needs cutting,” she said softly. It wasn’t a
criticism. It wasn’t an order. I didn’t really know what it was; I
had never heard her use that tone of voice before.
sighed and settled into the chair opposite her. That blonde strand
in his face had returned and he pushed it back again slowly. “No
time to do it. I’ve started volunteering at the rationing office,”
he explained, “But I wish I hadn’t now, it’s too much bloody
work.”
“
Bloody,” Ness said again around her lolly.
“
Stop it!” Blod slapped her hand gently, but then she started
to laugh.
glimpse of warmth in Bickerstaff’s chest spread all over his face.
“Do you need anything else for her?” he asked Blod.
Her lovely
face stiffened again at that. “I don’t need anything from you,” she
said proudly.
And suddenly
the doctor’s warmth was gone; it drained off like his very life was
leaving his body. He was cold again with an empty chest.
Bickerstaff rose so sharply that my head went fuzzy. He brushed
himself off and cleared his throat which Blod seemed to take as her
cue to leave too. She pushed Ness off her lap briskly.
“
Go on, go and find Kit,” Blod said, giving her a
push.
was looking at her again, his eyes wide with anticipation. Blod was
about to speak, but I knew now that the office’s door was opening
and Ness would be headed straight for me. I wanted so desperately
to hear what Blod was about to say, but as her lips parted I felt
an icy shiver hit my spine and I was instantly another ten feet
away outside in the waiting room. Ness was already ambling towards
me with what was left of her yellow lolly to show me.
I watched her
coming closer with her huge blue eyes, looking for the first time
at their oval shape. Blod’s were more like almonds, just like her
mother’s, and Clive’s eyes were narrow and brown. The only other
person I had ever seen with eyes like Ness’s was Steven
Bickerstaff. Blod emerged from the doctor’s office a moment later
with a face like fury, and Bickerstaff followed her out to see if
his next patient had arrived. I took one last look at him before
Blod grabbed my chair angrily and turned me around. I was right. He
had Ness’s eyes. Or more accurately, she had his.
***
It was an awful thing to have suspicions running around in my
mind. I had half a story, an inkling of what might be going on, but
no-one to talk it out with who could confirm or deny what I was
thinking. No-one
here
, at least.
came that I was left alone in the sitting room to practice my new
physical task I checked my watch, delighted to find it was about
the same time Henri had said he would be free. Learning to stand up
could wait, my burning questions about Bickerstaff and Ness
couldn’t. I calmed myself enough to perform the usual movements,
searching hard for Henri in the blank, black space between my
closed eyes.
Aha!
“
Hello Kit,” Henri said in what he thought was a casual
tone.
Henri.
He was trying
to hide the fact that I had startled him again, but of course he
didn’t know that I could feel what he felt as well as use his eyes.
His heart was humming with nerves for a few moments as he set down
the suit he was working on.
“
So, what’s new in England?” he asked in his lovely rich
voice.
I’m actually in Wales
, I
corrected,
We used to live in London, so
we were moved away from danger.
“
We?” he pressed, “Are you with your family?”
With my brother
, I answered,
And with a new family who are looking after
us.
“
I see,” Henri answered. I felt him rubbing his chin, there
was a sound like scraping sandpaper and I wondered with a smile if
he had stubble. “I am looked after too,” he continued, “Mr Hoffman
lets me live here on the top floor.”
Don’t you have family nearby?
I
asked.
chest deflate. “No,” he said simply, “My parents died some time
ago.”
I’m so
sorry.
“
Don’t be, it’s all right.” But it wasn’t all right. I knew he
was lying by the heavy weight on his heart and the flush I felt
creeping into his cheek. “My mother was born in England, you know,”
he said as if he was still happy with the conversation
topic.
Is that why your English is so good?
I asked, trying to shift the subject.
“
I suppose so,” he said in a brighter tone, “but I have my
English teacher too.”
Bavistock, was it?
Henri nodded. I
remembered the mention of him in front of the German
officer.
What will happen to
him?
sadness grew again. “I don’t know,” he replied, “I’ve hardly been
out of the shop since the Nazis arrived. Oslo is not a safe place
now.”
Let’s not think about it
, I
suggested,
How about you help me with
something instead?
“
Oh?” Henri said. I felt one strong eyebrow going up on his
face. “What could I possibly help you with?”
everything I had heard in Bickerstaff’s head, but then realised
that I had to go back and fill in some things about Blod and Mam
and our situation. I left out the part about how sad the doctor
always felt so that Henri wouldn’t know I could sense emotions and
I also managed to steer away from any mention of why I myself was
acquainted with the good doctor. Whatever mental image Henri had of
me, I was pretty certain it wouldn’t involve a wheelchair and
jellyfish knees and night splints, so I wanted to let him have his
own idea. It was surely be better than the truth.
“
How old is this doctor?” Henri asked when I had finished my
tale.
twenties, I think.
“
But the little girl’s mother, this Mam, she is much older
than that, isn’t she?”
Exactly
, I answered,
and that’s why I don’t think she’s Ness’s real
mother.
I’ve heard of it before when my
mum used to chat with the gossip on our street, some young girl
having a baby with no husband and then the mother pretends it’s
hers instead.
“
It’s a big suspicion,” Henri mused, rubbing his stubbly chin
again, “But you might be right. How can you find out for
sure?”
Well, I can hardly ask them, can I?
I responded.
Good morning Doctor, I
say is this your illegitimate daughter? Hi Blod, had any secret
pregnancies lately?
into laughter at that, wiping at his eyes. “You’re very funny Kit,”
he sighed, “I suppose you’ll have to keep your eyes open for more
evidence.”
I sighed too,
though I didn’t know if he could hear me.
Look, I think
I’ll have to go, I must have been here ages telling you all
this.
Henri checked
his watch, a lovely brass coloured dial that looked very old and
expensive.
“
Thirty minutes!” he exclaimed, “I’m supposed to have this
suit finished by now.”
Oops,
I said. He laughed
again.
Sorry to bore you with all this, by
the way.
“
It’s not boring,” he protested immediately, “Your voice is
wonderful.”
again grateful that the hundreds of miles between us meant he
couldn’t see me blush.
I think next time, you can do the talking,
I suggested.
“
I promise I will,” he replied.
