The Milestone Tapes (20 page)

“Hospital? Are you okay?” Sophia’s voice lowered with concern.

“Oh, I’m alright, just the status quo of things now,” Jenna prattled.

“Good, good. I worry, you know …” Sophia trailed off.

“How are you?” Jenna knew bits and pieces of what was going on with Sophia back home, but she always felt like it was only part of the story.

“The store is so busy, I’d blame it on overly eager holiday shoppers, but the truth is, everyone just wants stuff!” Sophia laughed lightly again. “Good thing, though. Keeps me in house and home.”

“How are the boys? I miss them,” Jenna pressed.

“Well, Thomas is running amuck around here today; half day preschool is a curse for working parents, Caleb and Harlen are doing really well in school. We’re all in a place of transition,” she allowed, and a slightly sad tone flitted into her voice.

“You’re welcome to play hooky and come back here any time,” Jenna encouraged.

“Oh, I’d love that. More than you know. But the boys are just starting to ... adjust ... if that’s the right word. Alex moved in with her, and the boys hate it. Can’t trust them to stay there more than an hour, forget about a weekend or longer.” Acid dripped from her voice like syrup.

“Bring the boys!” Jenna offered.

“We’ll see ... let me think about it, the kids have school,” Sophia answered softly, closing the conversation.

“Okay, do that. So, what else is new?” Jenna looked towards the clock; she had 30 minutes before she’d officially be running late.

“Eh, nothing really. Same old, same old,” Sophia dismissed Jenna’s concern, which only stood to concern her more. “How are things there?” Jenna caught the implication in her tone.

“Not bad. Mia’s in love with her teacher.” Jenna tapped her fingers on the counter, smiling at the notion of how much her little girl seemed taken by school. “Gabe’s building this huge house in Sequim, so he’s gone a lot trying to finish it all before winter, but he really loves the creative freedom this couple has given him. Apparently, they’re some big deal in Seattle; this is their second home. It’s a monstrosity, absolutely huge and stunning.”

Gabe had finally, after much pestering, driven Jenna out to the job site. The house was glorious, and Jenna felt home envy, wandering about the palatial home.

“That’s great!” Sophia chimed. “Did you ask if they need a designer or maybe a few knick knacks?” Sophia laughed lightly, her voice like sweet bells.

“I’ll be sure to put in a good word,” Jenna mused, snickering softly.

“And how are you feeling Jen? No bullshit.” Sophia’s voice darkened a note.

“I’m good. Tired and my appetite is dwindling. My pain medication is keeping a lot of things at bay, I suppose.” She hated talking about her symptoms, knowing it only upset everyone, worried them.

“And you’re going to the doctor today?” Sophia prodded.

“In ten minutes actually, or I’ll be late. Then I can hopefully do some shopping in town. There are a few things I’d like to find. Speaking of which, do you know if the boys want anything in particular for Christmas?”

“You’re not being serious! It’s only September!”

“I most certainly am! I love the holidays, and who knows what shape I’ll be in when they roll up this year. But Santa Claus comes whether I feel good or not, that’s the way it’s always been—the way it always will be.”

“No one would think badly if you wanted to defer that this year ... ” Sophia’s voice was soft, cautioning.

“I know that. But this is loaded. I can put it off—and then what? Mia has no Christmas? I have to admit that no matter what, these will be the last holidays I can prepare for Mia, the last time I can pretend to be Santa and wrap her gifts. Even if I don’t make it to see Christmas morning, I want her to have happy memories. Life goes on you know.”

“I don’t know what to say ... ” Sophia murmured into the phone.

“You don’t have to say anything.”

“I could help you. I could shop and send the gifts to you,” Sophia offered.

“No. I mean, yeah, you could, but you won’t. This is what I have left in my life—this little patch of room to be a good Mom, and doing these things, it makes me happy. It might seem like I’m worrying about the wrong stuff, but it doesn’t feel that way to me. What else can I do? Crawl into bed? That’s not me, that’s never been me. I’m a mother and this is what mothers do.”

“Oh, Jenna,” Sophia sighed heavily on the other end.

“Listen, I know you’re busy, I just called to say Hi. Give the boys a kiss for me, okay?” Jenna twirled the cord around her finger.

“I will.”

“Okay, we’ll talk soon, I promise.”

“Good. Well, call me later, please. Let me know how things go?”

“As always.”

“Okay, good. I love you Jenna.”

“Love you too, Soph.” Jenna replaced the receiver with a slight click.

She grabbed her fall jacket off the hook by the door, then, grabbing her keys and purse, she headed out.

Jenna’s decline had begun subtly since that horrible night in August. She found herself managing her pain more frequently, brought on by chilly weather of fall or by the natural course of things, she wasn’t sure. Her bones ached, deep pits of vexation dwelled in each joint, and her appetite had vanished, gone with summer.

Dr. Henderson’s private office was a peaceful break from the bland expanse of the hospital at large. The walls were painted a soft sky blue with crisp white bead board tracing the outline of the area. Oak toned hardwood floors gleamed under the soft light of lamps that were dotted around the small, comforting space. Soft, overstuffed furniture created a family room atmosphere with polished end tables that displayed the latest magazines, dotted around in small crystal vases were sugary white blooms. The receptionist was affable and warm, welcoming Jenna with a glass of water, gesturing towards a kitchenette, if she’d prefer a coffee, or snack while waiting. A friendly kid area was enclosed with a white washed fence off to the side. Disney movies seemed in endless supply as little ones lazed on soft beanbags waiting for their parents return. Jenna hadn’t remembered Dr. Henderson’s office being so benevolent before, but the space looked new and Jenna assumed it was a recent acquisition of the doctor’s.

Dr. Henderson had carefully and compassionately laid out for Jenna what she could expect in the coming weeks. The exhaustion, the need for great amounts of sleep, weight loss and muscle loss probably in tandem, difficulty eating or swallowing, compromised ability to speak and a lapse concentration, probably, in the end, a coma.

“Mrs. Chamberland? You can follow me back, Dr. Henderson will be with you in just a moment.” the reception stood, gesturing for Jenna to follow her toward an exam room.

Jenna walked slowly behind the pretty girl. The hallways were a continuation of the bead board, but the blue of the waiting area melted into a lively green, similar to the ferns that lined Jenna’s yard, she thought. Pictures of the Olympic Peninsula's natural wonder hung, framed behind thick glossy glass.

“Right in here.” The receptionist smiled again, pointing to a neatly folded gown resting on the edge of a soft leather exam table. Jenna wished she could remember the girl’s name, to thank her properly, but it escaped her. “Dr. Henderson should be with you shortly. Go ahead and get changed,” she said, the lacquered, glossy smile still pasted sweetly on her face as she turned to close the door behind her.

Jenna hadn’t been in this room before but noted that each room was apparently decorated differently. This room was a soft creamy white, and all traces of medical necessities were enclosed behind dark wood cabinets. The faded and flecked linoleum floor was the only indiction that this was hospital exam room rather than a swank hotel room. A writer’s desk and supple leather chair sat askew under a wide window that looked out onto the landscaping far below.

Jenna finished folding her pants and placing them on a wing chair when a small tap announced Dr. Henderson presence.

“Come in!” Jenna called out, hopping up on the table, the exam paper crumpling loud under her weight.

“Jenna,” Dr. Henderson greeted her, slipping inside the door, closing it behind her.

“Hi, Dr. Henderson.” Jenna forced a smile and nodded towards the doctor.

“So, it’s been a week, which I take to mean that you’ve had no real problems since our last visit.” Dr. Henderson didn’t look at Jenna as she spoke, her eyes glued to the open file in her hands.

“No, not really. More of the same. Just tired, lack of hunger, headaches, achy ... ” Jenna prattled, trying to think if there was something more she should add. “Oh, and I’ve been taking the pain med every night. It seems to be working; the mornings are much easier.”

“That’s good, I’m happy to hear that. I would like to run some blood work this morning, and outside of that, if you’re saying everything else is status quo, we should attempt to stay the course. Unless, of course, something shows up,” Dr. Henderson added as an afterthought.

Fishing a pair of rubber gloves from her pocket she began her exam, running her fingers down Jenna’s throat, listening to her breathing, looking into her eyes. Jenna allowed herself to relax.

Dr. Henderson snapped off her exam gloves and moved to sit down behind the writer’s desk, taking a pen from her coat pocket, her hand moving swiftly across the page. “I’m going to write a script for the blood work. You can just go to the lab directly, it’s more efficient.”

“That’s fine,” Jenna checked her wristwatch.

“I should have the results, by oh, early afternoon at the soonest. I’ll call you directly if something needs tending too, all right?”

“Sounds good.” Jenna nodded her agreement.

“Okay, then, that’s all. I’ll be in touch.” Dr. Henderson turned on her heels and took wide strides towards the door.

“Thank you for seeing me,” Jenna called after her.

“Jenna, I’m always happy to see you.” Dr. Henderson tilted her head to the side and a soft smile pulled lightly at the corners of her lips. “I want to help you,” were her last words as she pulled the door closed behind it.

~ * * * ~

“Excuse me, could I please see that jewelry box?” Jenna pointed across the wide counter of the old antique store to a beautiful vintage jewelry box nestled on the high shelf.

“Of course.” The faded old owner reached up and removed it from its roost, laying it softly down on the counter for Jenna to look over.

It was perfect, of course. Exactly what Jenna had been looking for. It was fade white and pink in color, with small hand painted rose buds adoring the exterior. Inside, was a raw silk, pink and pristine, a series of rolled cushions and tiny holes simply waiting to be filled with treasures.

“How much?” Jenna asked, closing the lid and admiring once again the intricate detailing.

“Two hundred, it’s very old and a rare find,” the shop owner reasoned.

Jenna exhaled loudly. Two hundred dollars, for a small jewelry box, seemed awfully steep. “Are you firm on that?” Jenna asked, running the tips of her fingers over the smooth wood.

“It’s not actually mine to sell, it’s a commission piece. Owner’s had it since it was new, hard to part with without the right price, I suppose.” He shrugged and went to reach for the box, running his thick calloused fingers over the delicate lid.

Jenna gnawed the inside of her lip thoughtfully. It was perfect, exactly what she had been looking for, very rare and so beautiful. “I suppose I could do two hundred,” Jenna decided.

“Is it for you?” the old lady asked, folding the box neatly in tissue.

“My daughter.” Jenna beamed.

“Lucky little girl,” the owner eyed Jenna. “Must be a big deal to have such a lovely jewelry box.”

“It is, a very big deal,” Jenna agreed, handing over her credit card.

“Birthday?” the owner pressed, clearly wondering what a child would do with such an expensive jewelry box.

“She just turned seven,” Jenna smiled, “but no. I want her to have something special, from me, and this is really perfect,” Jenna allowed, signing her name in the appropriate place.

“I hope she enjoys it,” the shop owner shot Jenna a speculative look, handing the package across the counter to Jenna.

“Me too. Thank you for your help.” Jenna waved goodbye and floated out the door.

The box was perfect, exactly what Jenna had hoped to find. The idea to give Mia a jewelry box crossed her mind as she was cleaning out her closet. She had acquired, over the years, beautiful pieces of jewelry from Gabe. She had her engagement ring, a rose cut round chip set in a thin, etched gold band, the matching wedding band, a pair of diamond earrings Gabe had given her for their tenth wedding anniversary, a strand of pearls Jenna had splurged on in New York while touring for her first book. Then there were the things that even predated Gabe, the charm bracelet she had worn as a little girl, a butterfly broach that had been her mother’s. All of it would go to Mia, but she would, of course, need a safe place to keep her inherited treasures.

She wandered around the sleepy streets of the town. Toys and games for Mia, sweaters and a handsome watch for Gabe, a pair of warm boots and coat for Ginny, books for her nephews, a pair of gold and emerald earrings for Sophia. She sipped a coffee in the local bookstore, wandering the aisles, filling her basket with everything that looked interesting.