The Mighty Quinns: Ryan (13 page)

“I think so,” Serena said. “But only if you were happy to have me here.”

Ryan walked toward the porch. This was crazy. He wasn’t going to be responsible for her walking away from her career because she had some silly idea she could be happy in Raglan. It was obvious she was running away from her problems and she was using him as an excuse.

“You don’t want me to stay,” she said, following him into the cottage.

“No, that’s not it.” He set the sack on the counter and began to unpack it.

“What is it then?” Serena asked.

“I would love to have you here with me. For as long as you want to stay. But I think first you have to deal with the problems that you left in your old life. You assume that everything is ruined, that your career is over. But what if it isn’t? What if you could have it all back? Would you want to stay then?”

“Yes,” she said. “I don’t want that life anymore. It’s not real. This is real. Here with you is real.”

“And did it feel that way when you were first with Ben?”

Serena cursed, then spun and walked away from him. Ryan knew at that moment that he’d hit a nerve.

“Why are we talking about Ben?” she asked, spinning around to face him. “Did you call him, too? Did he convince you that I belonged back in L.A.? I don’t love him and I’m not going to marry him.”

“He knows you’re with me. He texted me right after you left this morning.” Ryan pulled out his mobile and found the message, then held it out to her.

She shook her head. “I don’t want to read it.”

“‘Please have Serena call me,’” Ryan read. “‘Tell her I still love her.’”

Serena clapped her hands to her ears. “I don’t want to hear it.” She grabbed a tomato from the counter and threw it at him. It hit the refrigerator, just missing his head.

Ryan circled the island and reached for her, but she evaded his grasp and walked to the sofa. But he wouldn’t be deterred. He caught her and turned her around to face him.

“I can’t offer you half of what you’ve made for yourself,” he said. “I’m never sure where my next paycheck is coming from or even if it’s going to come. I live in this crummy little cottage and drive a ten-year-old car. You live in a world of mansions and limousines and private jets and expensive diamond rings.”

“You can offer me this,” she said, grabbing his hand and placing it on her breast. “And this,” she said, leaning in to kiss him.

Ryan groaned softly as she deepened the kiss, her tongue teasing at his lips until he reluctantly gave in. He yanked her against his body, forgetting the argument and focusing on the taste of her mouth and the feel of her body beneath his hands.

Serena reached for the hem of his T-shirt and pulled it up, smoothing her hands over his chest. It was as if they were playing their disagreement out as a seduction, each of them challenging the other with their desires.

He couldn’t stop. He wanted her now more than he’d ever wanted her. And yet Ryan knew that this wouldn’t solve anything. When it was over, they’d still face the same problems.

Serena reached for the tie on his board shorts and, when she’d undone it, pushed the shorts down to his knees. He was already hard, the need coursing through him like a raging storm.

Her clothes came off next in a frantic race to expose more skin. When they were both naked, Ryan picked her up and wrapped her legs around his hips, the tip of his shaft teasing at her entrance.

There was no time for foreplay and he didn’t think to get a condom until after he was buried deep inside of her. His breath caught in his throat when he realized what he’d done, and Ryan tried to pull out. But she arched against him.

“No,” Serena whispered. “It’s all right.”

“Serena, I—”

“It is,” she said. “Trust me.”

And there it was, Ryan thought. The one thing he couldn’t seem to do. Why couldn’t he believe she wanted him? Why couldn’t he accept that she wanted to stay? He could believe in his own feelings, but he couldn’t seem to accept hers.

Serena moved against him, and Ryan set her on the edge of the counter, sweeping the groceries away with his hand. She braced her hands behind her, her gaze fixed on his face as he slowly plunged deep and then pulled back.

It had started so quickly, but now he slowed it down, each exquisite stroke driving her closer to her release. He felt the first spasm before he saw her reaction, and Ryan increased his pace until she dissolved in a series of breathless moans.

It took all his willpower to stop himself, to wait until she was nearly sated before he stepped over the edge himself. And when he did, the pleasure was deep and powerful, shattering his resolve and wiping away all the doubts he had.

He was in love with Serena Hightower. Or Elly Sheridan. Or whoever she wanted to be. It didn’t matter. He had to keep her with him, no matter what the cost. And if there were consequences later, then he’d deal with them. For now he was happy, and that was enough.

“Tell me this is real,” he murmured, his lips pressed against her neck. “That’s all I need to know.”

“It’s real,” she said, breathlessly. “It’s very, very real.”

* * *

S
ERENA
CURLED
UP
against Ryan’s body, her leg thrown over his hip, her head resting in the curve of his arm. “What is it about your kitchen?” she murmured. “It’s like there’s some kind of aphrodisiac hiding in the refrigerator. You open it up and bang, we’re off to the races.”

“We have a thing for airplanes, too,” he said.

“We’d probably be great on the beach,” Serena said.

“And in a tent.”

“Oh, I’ve never done it in a tent before. In fact, I’ve never slept in a tent.”

Ryan chuckled. “We’re going to have to change that. You didn’t get all the adventure you wanted on Fiji. Maybe we could take a few days and find an adventure here?”

“Yes,” she said. “Let’s do it.”

Ryan sat up and raked his fingers through his hair. “We could leave now. I have to be back here at the end of the week for a meeting, so we don’t have much time.”

Serena jumped on top of him and kissed him. “There’s nothing keeping us here. And if I get a real job, I’m probably not going to be able to take vacation days right away.” Serena stretched out on top of him and pinned his hands on either side of his head. “But before we get up, I want to say something to you.”

Ryan kissed her, then frowned. “You look so serious.”

“I am,” she said.

“If you want to do it again, I’m not sure I can,” he teased. “Three times in one day is about my limit.”

“No, I’m quite satisfied on that front. I just want you to know that I hear what you’re saying. And I will consider it.”

“Going back?” he asked.

Serena nodded. “I know I’ve left a big mess, but I just need to sort out how to handle it. And I will talk to Thom this week. I can’t promise you that I’ll talk to Ben, but I suppose I could write to him.”

Ryan smoothed his hands through her hair. “That’s a good idea. I want you to be sure that this is where you should be.”

“I understand.”

He gave her a fierce hug and rolled her over beneath him. Serena brought her legs up along his hips, rubbing the back of his thigh with her foot. “So, Dana told me you’re going to Everest. When do you leave?”

“Not for another two or three months. But I have a few trips before then. A two-week trek to Kilimanjaro and two ice-climbing classes in the Alps. Everest will be a long one. We’ll be gone for almost two months.” He stared down into her eyes. “This is what I do...for now. But it won’t always be like this, I promise.”

“How will it change?”

“Hopefully, after the Everest trip, business will increase and Mal will be able to hire more guides and I won’t have to be away so much. I’ll still take some groups but only the short trips.”

“You probably don’t want to hear this, but I have plenty of money. You don’t have to worry.”

“I’m not sure how long I’d be able to survive as a kept man. It might wear away at the ego a bit.” He drew a deep breath. “I did have an idea for a new career path, though.”

“Tell me,” she said.

“There’s a bloke here in Raglan who runs a surf school. He’s getting ready to hang up his board, and I’ve been considering taking over and starting my own school. Or buying him out.”

“You’re a wonderful teacher.”

“We could use the
bach
for a bunkhouse and find somewhere else to live.”

“I’d miss the beach,” she said. “And I like this place.”

“I thought you might want something a bit more...posh,” Ryan said.

“No, I’m happy with this,” Serena said. In truth, she couldn’t remember ever being happier than she was in his little
bach
on the beach. Maybe at her house in Kent, but that was only because of her dogs.

Her dogs. She’d have to charter a jet to bring them to New Zealand. Maybe the house
wasn’t
big enough. The two of them and five dogs. One big, happy family.

She snuggled up against his chest. For the first time since they’d been together, Serena could see a way forward. It wouldn’t be easy, but there was a chance they could make it work. And yet now that she knew Ryan’s doubts, she realized that he wouldn’t truly believe in her until she left her old life behind.

She thought about the reaction she’d get from the media when they announced the wedding was off. All the money spent on the ceremony and the guests who’d made a commitment to attend. People would want to know all the details of why she’d broken it off, and she had no doubt that Ryan’s name would come up. He’d be painted as the villain and he didn’t deserve that. This whole mess was her fault—for agreeing to the engagement, for letting it go on for so long and then for planning a wedding to a man she didn’t want to marry.

“What’s going through your head?” Ryan asked, pressing his lips against her temple.

“I’m just trying to think my way through this. It’s going to be so messy. If I don’t plan to ever go back, then maybe it is right to just walk away. The studio could sue me for breach of contract, but I doubt they’d want to do that. It would burn a bridge that they wouldn’t want to burn.”

He slowly stroked her hair as he listened, the simple caress soothing her nerves and calming her fears. “I could always just say I’m going into rehab. No one would question that. I’ve done it before.”

“Have you?”

She nodded. “About five years ago. The partying got out of control and I was just exhausted. And the studio wouldn’t insure me for my next movie unless I went. That reputation stayed with me for a long time. Everyone still believes I’m unstable.”

“I don’t,” he said. He kissed her, his lips soft against hers, his tongue delving into the warmth of her mouth. Every problem seemed to disappear from her mind when his lips met hers. If only they could spend the rest of their lives kissing, she mused. Life would be perfect.

“I think we should leave for our camping trip tonight,” Serena said. “Right now. Let’s pack our bags and go.”

Ryan rolled off her. “You’ve got ten minutes to pack,” he said. “Take some warm clothes and sturdy shoes. If we need anything along the way, we’ll buy it.”

“Really? We can just leave?”

“Sure. We can do anything we want,” Ryan said.

Serena closed her eyes. They could. Their lives belonged to them. No more managers or agents, no paparazzi or reporters, no more disappointed studio execs. For the next few days, they were completely free.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“North,” he said. “About five hours. We’ll stop in Whangerei tonight. And then I’m going to show you one of my favorite places on the North Island.”

Ryan packed his gear in a large backpack, leaving a smaller day pack for Serena. “I brought four suitcases to Fiji,” she said. “I left with one. Now I’m going to be traveling with this.” She glanced over the bed at him. “I’m so proud of myself.”

“You haven’t worn makeup since that last night in Fiji,” he commented. “I like the way you look without it. And I like the hair.” He grabbed her hand. “But these fingernails are not going to last.”

She looked at her manicure and shrugged. “I did it for Dana. She was so excited to hang out for the morning. I think she’s always wanted a sister. I have, too.”

“Speaking of... Maybe you should call your parents and let them know where you are,” he said. “Won’t they be wondering?”

“I doubt it,” Serena said. “I haven’t seen my mom in five years and my dad in six or seven. We talk at Christmas and on my birthday, but that’s all.” She drew a deep breath. “So, now you’ve heard all my sad stories. Do you want to run away from me now or later?”

“Hmm, let me think,” Ryan said. “I choose later. A lot later. Maybe never.”

“All right,” she said. “I gave you a chance. You’re stuck with me.” She zipped up the pack and tossed it his way. “And I am ready to go.”

“That’s what’s great about you, Elly. You’re a low maintenance kind of lady.”

“Elly,” she said. “I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get used to you calling me that. I kind of like the way Serena sounds coming from you.”

He rounded the bed and took her hand, pressing it to her lips. “Then, you’ll be Serena to me.”

She melted into his embrace, surrendering to a deep, passionate kiss. He’d seen into the darkest corners of her soul and still wanted her. But she couldn’t get the comment he’d made out of her head. She’d believed she’d loved Ben, too, at first. Would this fade the way it had with Ben?

* * *

S
ERENA
STARED
OUT
over the landscape and sighed softly. “It’s beautiful.” Ryan agreed, but he wasn’t concentrating on the landscape. Instead, he was taking in all the perfect features of her face. She’d looked quite lovely, all painted up to go out to a club. But he liked her scrubbed clean, fresh-faced and completely herself.

She turned to Ryan and smiled. “How do you find these places? The waterfall in Fiji. This cove.”

“This was one of my father’s favorite spots. He used to bring us here to camp.”

“You don’t talk about him much,” she said. “Why is that?”

“He died when I was eight. I remember him, but I’m not sure that all my memories are real. I think I may have embellished some of them over time. He was larger than life, tall and strong. And he had the bluest eyes. He used to dance around the kitchen with my mother. They’d put on the radio and just get lost in their own little world. We’d watch them, and I remember the way they looked at each other. They didn’t have to talk.” He chuckled softly. “They were mad for each other. Even a kid could see that.”