The Midwife's Marriage Proposal (8 page)

For a moment she felt a shaft of panic and then she reminded herself that there was no reason why a healthy woman couldn't deliver perfectly well outdoors. She had to forget about all the potential complications and concentrate on the job in hand. Their biggest problem was just the cold.

‘Your baby is definitely coming, Lucy,' she said calmly, wishing Tom would get off the radio and help. Deciding that she'd better get on with it on her own, she delved into the rucksack and removed various packs. ‘Mick, can you get a tent up, please? Something to keep the wind off. Check in Tom's rucksack.'

Creating a shelter wouldn't help that much, but at least it would be better than nothing.

Tom finished talking on the radio and strode back to her. ‘They're sending a helicopter.'

Sally looked at him. ‘You can't deliver a baby in a
helicopter,' she pointed out logically, and he ran a hand over the back of his neck.

‘She's that close? Seriously?'

‘I can see the head.' Sally looked at him, wondering what was the matter with him. ‘I need a tent, Tom. Now. It's not much in the way of shelter, but it will help.'

Tom seemed to stir himself. ‘Right. A tent. Mick, I need a hand.'

Sally left the two of them to sort out some shelter and turned her attention back to Lucy.

‘Don't you worry about a thing,' she said cheerfully. ‘We girls are going to manage this with no problem.'

Lucy gave a hysterical laugh and caught Sally's hand again. ‘Would you believe that I actually dismissed the idea of a home birth because they convinced me it was dangerous for my first baby? And here I am on the side of a mountain! I can't believe this is happening!'

‘Well, look on the bright side, at least you didn't climb up the mountain,' Sally said practically. ‘And home birth is not dangerous in the right circumstances. Everything seems fine to me. The only thing we really need to worry about is the cold.'

‘Have you delivered babies at home before?'

‘I worked in Nepal for a while,' Sally told her chattily, happy to distract her. ‘Hardly any of the women there make it to health centres of any sort, and plenty of other cultures think that home is the place to give birth. I once looked after a woman who insisted on giving birth in her garden, surrounded by candles.'

Lucy gave a hysterical laugh. ‘But none of them chose to deliver in a howling gale on a mountainside.'

‘You've certainly picked the best view,' Sally agreed with a laugh, grabbing the Pinard stethoscope from the rucksack and pressing it against Lucy's abdomen. ‘This
might be asking a bit much, but I want to try and listen to the baby's heart.'

For a few moments all she could hear was the wind and Lucy's gasps, and then she shifted the stethoscope slightly and there it was. The wonderfully reassuring gallop of the baby's heart.

‘That's fine, Lucy.' She straightened. ‘He or she seems to be perfectly happy. Obviously enjoying being outdoors.'

By now Lucy was inside the tent and she and Tom had manoeuvred a sterile sheet underneath her.

Lucy gave a low moan. ‘I'm so scared. This isn't how it should be …'

‘There's nothing to be scared of,' Sally said immediately. ‘You're doing beautifully. Are you warm enough?'

Lucy nodded. ‘I am, but what about the baby?'

‘Well, at the moment he's still inside you so he's fine,' Sally said. ‘We'll worry about his temperature once he's safely out.'

‘You keep calling the baby he,' Lucy gasped, and Sally smiled, aware of Tom by her side.

‘It's a boy. Definitely.' Her tone was dry. ‘Only a man could cause this much trouble.'

Despite the tension of the situation, Lucy giggled. Tom picked up the banter. ‘You're going to find out just what trouble is when this is over, Sally Jenner,' he threatened, his blue eyes gleaming as they locked on hers.

But despite his mockery and the kick of her heart, Sally couldn't be anything but glad that he was there.

She knew that if Lucy got into trouble, she was going to need him.

Lucy chuckled and then groaned. ‘Don't make me laugh—it hurts. How can you be so relaxed?'

‘Because there is absolutely nothing to be tense about,' Sally replied immediately. ‘Childbirth is perfectly natural.'

Lucy grimaced. ‘Until something goes wrong.'

‘That's my line,' Tom muttered. He glanced at Sally and she rolled her eyes.

‘Don't get all pessimistic on me, please, or I'll send the pair of you home and do this by myself.' She opened another pack and looked at Tom again. ‘Could you draw up some Syntometrine? If you and Lucy are just going to sit there, panicking, I'll have to give the orders.'

He lifted a hand to show her that he'd already done it and it occurred to her that, despite everything that had happened, they were still a good team.

Lucy gave a gasp and shifted onto all fours. ‘It's coming … I can feel it …'

Sally snapped on a new pair of gloves and glanced over her shoulder at Tom. ‘We're going to need all the layers you can find, and I want a space blanket, too. OK, Lucy, the head is crowning. I want you to stop pushing if you can. That's it, good girl. Pant now, pant—that's it. Great.'

She used her left hand to control the escape of the head and reduce the chances of perineal tearing. As the baby's head was delivered she allowed it to extend and quickly checked that the cord wasn't around its neck.

‘Fantastic, Lucy,' she said, glancing at Tom to check that he was ready to give the injection with the delivery of the anterior shoulder.

She saw the tension in his broad shoulders, the lines of strain around his eyes.

He was waiting for something to go wrong.

‘Everything's fine,' she said quietly, as much for Tom's benefit as Lucy's. ‘It's fine. And this is much the nicest delivery I've ever done. All we have to do is keep this baby warm once it's born.'

She could see that Lucy's body was doing everything it was supposed to do and there was no real reason why there should be problems. Their biggest problem was going to be keeping the baby warm once it was born.

Somewhere in the background she could hear the clack-clack of a helicopter, but she ignored it, waiting instead for the contraction that would finish the delivery of the baby.

Lucy screwed up her face and pushed again. Sally delivered the shoulders and finally the baby shot into her arms, yelling and bawling.

‘Brilliant, Lucy! You clever girl!' Sally's eyes filled and she quickly blinked back the tears. ‘You have a little boy.'

Tom immediately cleared the baby's airway and together they clamped the cord and then placed the child against Lucy's breast, wrapping mother and child up together.

Lucy gave a sob of disbelief. ‘Is he all right?'

‘He seems fine, but obviously we need to keep him warm and get him to hospital as fast as possible. As soon as your placenta is delivered and you're able to move, we're going to load you into that helicopter.'

Sally slid a hand over the top of Lucy's uterus, checking that it was contracting, and moments later the placenta was delivered.

She examined it closely and looked at Tom. ‘It seems intact to me, but we need to take it to the hospital with us.'

He nodded. ‘I'll talk to the helicopter crew about how we're going to do this.'

Satisfied that Lucy's uterus was contracting nicely and that she didn't seem to be losing more blood than was normal, Sally turned her attention to the baby, showing Lucy how to latch him onto the breast.

‘Feeding will help your uterus contract and it will warm the baby up,' she explained, smiling as the little boy clamped his jaws around the nipple and started to suck. ‘No problems there. He obviously has a natural ability. I told you he was a boy!'

Lucy looked at her, tears in her eyes. ‘I can't thank you enough. You were amazing.'

‘It was wonderful,' Sally said honestly, glancing over her shoulder as Tom stuck his head into the tent. ‘Are we ready? The baby's feeding.'

‘Great.' He smiled at Lucy. ‘When you're ready to move we'll get you to the helicopter and take you to hospital. It's a very short hop.'

* * *

Tom stood in the doorway of the side ward, watching as Sally helped Lucy latch the baby onto the breast.

‘He really is a natural,' she murmured, a satisfied smile on her face as the baby started to suck. ‘And now you're both safe and sound.'

She was still dressed in her mountain rescue gear, her fair hair tangled from the wind and the drama, her cheeks flushed from the warmth of the room.

Tom felt something shift inside him.

She'd been fantastic.

She'd treated every moment of what could have been an obstetric nightmare as if it had been totally normal and wonderfully exciting. As if she'd delivered hundreds of babies outside on a freezing March day.

And she'd been in control every inch of the way.

She'd been the one to give him instructions, acting quickly and competently as soon as she'd realized that the baby had been coming.

He was more than impressed. He was amazed.

At that moment Lucy glanced up and saw him. ‘Mr Hunter!'

‘You look comfortable.' He walked into the room and Lucy smiled down at the nursing baby.

‘I am comfortable. And relieved. Thank you so much, both of you.'

Tom smiled. ‘I'd like to say that it's all in a day's work, but I'd be lying.' He ran a hand over the back of his neck and let out a breath. ‘Next time go for a walk in a town. And make it a short one.'

Lucy chuckled. ‘I'll try and remember that.'

Sally stood up. ‘I'd better go and get changed. You did well, Lucy.' Impulsively she leaned forward and hugged the young mother, and Lucy hugged her back.

‘Thank you just doesn't cover it.'

‘I loved it,' Sally said simply, and Tom looked at her closely, seeing the brightness of her eyes.

Had it hurt her, seeing the baby born?

He knew how badly she'd always wanted children of her own. Part of him was surprised that she hadn't met someone on her travels and settled down.

And part of him was relieved.

He followed her out of the room just as she was tucking a tissue into her pocket.

His insides twisted and he resisted the temptation to haul her against him. The way things were between them at the moment, she'd slap his face.

‘Sal?' His voice was soft. ‘Is something wrong?'

Her slim shoulders tensed and then she turned and gave him a cool smile.

‘Nothing at all. I'm going back to the unit now. I'll see you later.'

‘Wait.' Tom caught her arm. ‘Emma said that you can start your weekend early. They're quiet up there for once and you're off duty in a few hours anyway. She said that you were to go home. She'll see you on Monday.'

She digested this and then stirred slightly. ‘Right.' She stepped neatly away from him, removing her arm from his grasp. ‘I'll see you Monday, then.'

‘How are you getting home?'

She looked at him blankly, as if the question hadn't occurred to her until that moment. ‘I've got my bike.'

‘I'll give you a lift,' he said immediately, and he braced himself for rejection as he saw her tense. ‘You must be tired. We can drop some of the equipment off at the mountain rescue base on the way past.'

‘I don't think so.' She turned and walked away from him, and he gritted his teeth with frustration.

She seemed determined not to spend one single second in his company, and her casual dismissal bruised his ego more than he cared to admit.

Seven years ago she'd adored him and hadn't been afraid to show it.

Now all she felt was indifference.

Or was it? His eyes narrowed as he contemplated an alternative explanation.

If she were truly indifferent to him, surely she'd be perfectly happy to accept a lift.

But if she wasn't indifferent …

If she was finding it as hard to be near to him as he was finding it to be near to her …

He watched her walk down the corridor, noticing the
swing of her hips and the way her blonde hair swung round her shoulders.

She was beautiful and she affected him as no other woman ever had. And there was one thing he now knew for sure.

If he'd ever thought he'd got over Sally, he'd been fooling himself.

S
ALLY
concentrated her attention on the rock, keeping her weight carefully balanced over her feet, as she looked for the next handhold.

One false move …

Just one false move and she'd plummet to the bottom because she'd chosen not to use the support of a rope.

It was just her and the rock-face.

A few more reaches and pulls and finally she was on top.

She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, feeling the tension ooze out of her.

It was true that there was a lack of challenging climbing in the Lake District, but despite that she loved it here and at the moment she wouldn't swap it for the Himalayas or the Karakorum.

It felt like home.

‘You shouldn't free climb. It's dangerous.' The deep, masculine voice came from directly behind her and she froze, recognizing Tom's voice without even turning to identify the speaker.

‘What are you doing here?'

But it was a silly question.

This had been their place. Somewhere that both of them had loved. It was hardly surprising that he still came here.

‘I was looking for you.' His tone was easy. ‘I thought I'd find you here and I was right.'

Sally gritted her teeth, wishing that she'd been less predictable.

He sat down next to her, his dark hair windblown, his jaw dark with stubble. ‘Do you remember how often we used to come here? It was our special place.'

The peace and comfort vanished in an instant and she scrambled to her feet, raking her blonde hair out of her eyes with a shaking hand.

‘Don't get all sentimental on me, Tom,' she said coolly. ‘I came here because it's a fun climb. Not because I want to wallow in the past. I don't.'

He nodded, his eyes steady on her face. ‘And you needed to relax. It's been a tough week, Sally. Tough on both of us.'

She deliberately chose to misunderstand him. ‘Yesterday was certainly a challenge.' She kept her tone neutral. ‘But it had a happy ending. The baby is beautiful and they're doing fine—I called this morning to check.'

‘You were amazing.' His voice was soft. ‘Do you realize how much you've changed?'

She wished he wouldn't look at her like that, his sexy blue eyes fixed on her face as if he was seeking access to her every thought.

‘Of course I've changed.' She released her blonde hair from its ponytail and shook it so that it trailed down her back and lifted in the wind. ‘We've all changed, Tom. It's been seven years, and seven years is a long time.'

But not that long.

‘Seven years ago you never would have been able to do what you did yesterday.'

‘Of course not. I wasn't an experienced midwife.'

He shook his head. ‘That's not what I mean. You've developed confidence, Sally. A belief in yourself. Something you didn't have seven years ago. Seven years
ago you would have doubted your ability to deliver that baby in those circumstances. You would have been panicking.'

‘Instead of which, you were the one doing the panicking.' She couldn't resist teasing him slightly. ‘I've never seen you rattled before, Tom.'

‘That was the most nerve-racking moment of my career,' he confessed in a rueful tone, and she looked at him, surprised to hear him admit it.

‘Well, now who's changed?!' She lifted an eyebrow in challenge. ‘You used to think that there was nothing you couldn't deal with.'

He gave a wry smile. ‘There's arrogance for you.'

She frowned slightly at his response, still unable to understand why he'd been so tense. ‘You deal with obstetric emergencies almost every day of your life.'

‘That's right,' he drawled, ‘in a modern, well-equipped hospital with every possible piece of machinery at my disposal, including an operating theatre. Just for the record, you probably ought to know that delivering a woman in precipitate labour on a mountain at the end of winter is not my idea of relaxation.'

Sally gave a wistful smile. ‘Actually, I think it was wonderful.'

‘Clearly. As I said, you were amazing.' He looked at her for a moment. ‘Didn't you once think about all the possible things that could go wrong?'

She gave a faint smile. ‘Of course. And then I dismissed those thoughts. I'm a midwife. I'm trained to believe that childbirth is a natural experience. You're an obstetrician. You're trained to believe that you're there to sort out problems. If there had been problems, I would have stood aside and handed over to you.'

Tom lifted an eyebrow. ‘You think I can perform a Caesarean with a bar of chocolate and a penknife?'

She breathed in. ‘I think you would have done whatever was necessary,' she said simply. ‘I've never questioned your skills as a doctor, Tom.'

‘Your faith in me is touching, especially given the fact that I left you to do all the work.' His firm mouth curved into a self-deprecating smile and she felt her heart kick against her chest.

She'd always loved his smile.

He looked wonderfully familiar in his mountain gear and she felt her memories collide inside her.

It seemed like yesterday that they'd sat here and planned the future.

Or rather, she'd planned the future.

A twinge of disquiet shot through her. She'd always talked about babies and family and it was only now that it occurred to her that Tom had said very little.

‘You never wanted it, did you?' Her tone was hoarse as she voiced her thoughts. ‘All those things we talked about. You never wanted the family. For you it was all about the job. Your career. Becoming the best.'

Tom was silent for a long moment, his eyes fixed on her face. ‘That was part of it,' he admitted gruffly, ‘but I wanted a family, too. One day. With a woman who loved me.'

She flinched as though he'd struck her. ‘Are you saying that I didn't love you?'

‘I know you thought you did. But you were young.' Tom turned to stare across the mountains, a muscle working in his rough jaw. ‘I was the first man who'd made love to you, Sally. And you were just eighteen.'

She tried to keep her breathing steady but the memories
were too powerful. ‘You're trying to tell me that I didn't know my own mind?'

‘You were desperate for love and a family. And I understood that. You were moved from one foster-home to another. It's hardly surprising that you dreamed of home and hearth. We were crazy about each other, but instead of enjoying the relationship you talked about nothing but babies and living together. I was the only man you'd ever been with. I was never sure if you wanted me for myself or because you saw me as a way to fulfil the dream you'd always had.'

She stood still with shock, frozen to the spot by his interpretation of what they'd shared, the delicate atmosphere between them shattered by his honesty.

He sucked in a breath. ‘You were afraid, Sally. You didn't think you could exist on your own. You had no confidence or self-belief. Our relationship never would have worked under those circumstances. I was working hideous hours at the hospital and my mind was never on the job. I was always worrying about you. And all you could talk about was babies.'

She swallowed. ‘I didn't ask you to worry about me.'

‘Well, I did.' He rose to his feet and looked at her, his gaze direct. ‘You wanted a family to replace what you'd never had, and I was supposed to provide that.'

‘That's rubbish.' Her voice was hoarse and her heart was thumping as she backed away from him. ‘I loved you. You're just trying to make yourself feel better about the fact that you ended it.'

He shook his head, his mouth set in a grim line. ‘Believe me, nothing could make me feel better about ending our relationship. It was the hardest thing I ever did. But I know it was the right thing. Especially now, when I see the person you've grown into.'

Pain shafted through her but she lifted her chin and stared him in the eyes. ‘That is so patronizing! So am I supposed to thank you?' Her voice shook with anger. ‘Am I supposed to be grateful that you so generously threw away what I felt for you? You are so arrogant, Tom Hunter! You're just justifying the fact that your career mattered more than I did.'

She stalked away from him but he grabbed her arm, preventing her escape.

‘That isn't true.' His voice was rough. ‘You want the truth? Well, the truth was I was always afraid that one day you'd wake up and realize that there was a whole world out there. A world that you hadn't seen. I didn't want you to be with me just because I was the first and only man you'd ever been with. I didn't want you to be trapped with a young family when you were so young yourself. I wanted you to see life first.'

Her heart was thumping so hard that she felt strange. ‘I was with you because I loved you. You were my life, Tom. My whole world. I wasn't interested in the rest of it.'

She shook his arm away and stepped backwards.

How could he even
begin
to justify the decision he'd made?

She still couldn't understand how he could have wrecked something that had seemed so perfect.

‘I didn't expect you to leave,' he said hoarsely. ‘I didn't want that. All I wanted was breathing space—I wanted to be sure that it was the right thing. For both of us.'

‘You didn't expect me to leave?' She set her chin at a dangerous angle and her eyes flashed. ‘You thought I'd sit around and watch while you dated other women?'

He sucked in a breath. ‘I didn't date anyone, Sally. Not in the way that you mean.'

She didn't even want to think about it.

Spitting fire and flame, she turned on her heel but he grabbed her again.

‘Don't walk away from this.'

‘I'm walking away for your sake because if I don't walk away I'm going to injure you!' Her eyes flashed into his and she struggled to steady her breathing. ‘I actually do now feel like blacking your eye, but I don't want to be on the receiving end of the speculation that your black eye would undoubtedly receive in this small community.'

‘Well, before you walk just think about this …' His voice was weary and his fingers bit into her arm. ‘Think about all the things you've done in the last seven years and then ask yourself if you'd have done any of them if we'd stayed together.'

She stared at him for a long moment, her breathing rapid, and then she tugged her arm away from him and stalked down the path, the set of her shoulders warning him not to follow her.

How dared he say those things?

He was implying that he'd done her a favour by ending their relationship.

Sally walked quickly, trying to escape from the thoughts that crowded her brain, but they rolled around inside her head, crying out for attention.

She reached her bike and swung her leg over the saddle, pausing for a moment as Tom's words came back to her with brutal clarity.

I was never sure if you wanted me for myself or because you saw me as a way to fulfil the dream you'd always had.

Her hands tightened on the handlebars and she sucked in a breath.

Even as part of her insisted that he'd just been trying to justify his actions, another part of her questioned whether there might not have been some truth in what he'd said.

Had she just been desperate to create the family that she'd never had?

It was certainly true that Tom had been the first person in her life that she'd loved.

And it was true that all she'd ever wanted had been a family. She'd spent her entire childhood on the fringes of other people's families and she'd dreamed about being in the centre of her own. Of mattering to someone.

And she'd mattered to Tom.

For the first time in her life, someone had taken an interest in her and loved her.

Had that love stifled him? Put pressure on him?

Disturbed by the thoughts running through her mind, Sally stirred and fastened her cycle helmet, determined not to spend any more time dwelling on the past.

It was the future that mattered, and the future meant finding somewhere to live. She still had the rest of the day in which to find a flat, and she intended to do just that.

Whatever had happened between her and Tom was in the past, and that was where it was staying.

* * *

Tom ran a hand over his face and cursed softly.

He could go after her, of course, but he knew that there was no point in trying to continue the conversation until she'd had time to calm down and think about the things he'd said.

So he watched in silence as her slender, super-fit figure
disappeared into the distance, remembering the pleasure he'd derived from watching her climb after so many years.

Some climbers seemed to heave themselves upwards in a series of dramatic jerks, but when Sally climbed it was like watching a mixture of ballet and gymnastics. Her movements were smooth and measured, her body strong and athletic as she pitted herself against the rock-face.

She might not want to accept that she'd changed, but she had.

Tom gave a wry smile as he accepted the inevitable consequence of that change. She no longer needed him.

The days when she'd asked his opinion on anything and everything were obviously long gone.

This new Sally seemed to know exactly what she wanted.

And at the moment it wasn't him.

He stared at the mountains, breathing in the air, enjoying the solitude. So much of his relationship with Sally had been forged in these mountains. They'd shared so much, understood each other's need to climb and be outdoors.

His eyes drifted down the sharp line of a ridge straight ahead and he wondered if that was one of the reasons why he'd never managed to make a commitment to another woman.

For a while Sally had been part of him. She'd understood who he was. Everything about him. And he hadn't come close to sharing that bond with any other woman.