The Middle of Everywhere (23 page)

Homera looked upset and Mrs. Kaye hugged her. "It will get easier. I'll help you whenever I can."

Day 26—October 21, 1999

Class began with a stern lecture on politeness. The day before, a policeman had visited to answer questions about how the law worked. He was a friend of Mrs. Kaye who was interested in helping ELL students. But the Bosnian and Croatian kids were afraid of him. Tharaya said, "In our countries, the police cut off your ears." The minute he walked in, the tough guys had something to prove. They refused to tell him their first names. Khoi and Cahn treated him rudely. Faisal and Anton had mouthed off as well.

Mrs. Kaye said, "He was my friend and our guest. We don't treat guests that way in Nebraska."

The kids were silent during her reprimand, heads down and bodies slack. She said, "I want your promise that the next guest I invite will be well treated." Of course, the polite kids immediately promised, but she had to call on the troublemakers one by one.

"Faisal?" Without looking up, he mumbled, "Yeah, sure," Mrs. Kaye said, "What?" He repeated it slightly louder and she passed on to Cahn.

Cahn said stubbornly, "I didn't do anything." Mrs. Kaye said gently, "Cahn, this is about the future. Will you be polite next time?"

Khoi said, "I'll respect guests if they respect me." Mrs. Kaye said, "I want you to be polite no matter what."

Khoi muttered something under his breath and Patti giggled. She had on elaborate makeup and in the middle of each silvery nail was a gold star.

Mrs. Kaye asked Anton if he understood her. Not to be outdone by Khoi, Anton said, "The police are pigs."

Mrs. Kaye said sharply, "My friend is not a pig. It isn't polite to call anyone an animal's name."

Mrs. Kaye asked, "How is school different here than in your home country?"

Tharaya said, "For the last few years there was no school in my country. Parents helped their children learn to read in basements." As usual, Tharaya looked fashionable today. It was hard to believe she put her outfits together from the Dollar Store and Goodwill baskets. But her surface appearance was deceptive. Her values were not the values of most Madonna fans. She was not a material girl.

Alberto continued the discussion about school. "My teacher was good, but we didn't have any books or supplies."

Zlatko said, "In Russia, there was better discipline. I learned to multiply in second grade. My brother is in fourth grade here and still cannot multiply."

"Maybe your brother is stupid," Cahn said.

Mrs. Kaye said, "We don't use the word
stupid
in this class."

He grinned and looked out the window at the falling leaves. Cahn was such a heartbreaking mixture of tough and shy. One day there was a very telling incident. When the class played charades, Cahn refused to play, claiming it looked boring. But when Anton and Faisal teased him and Khoi called him a chicken, he sauntered to the front of the class. He looked sure of himself, until he looked at his charades assignment. Then he froze; he was too nervous to think and his voice wouldn't work. Mrs. Kaye had to gently signal him to return to his seat.

Zlatko continued, "The American educational system is designed to make students stop thinking."

"I love the teachers at our school, especially the ELL teachers," Velida said.

Tharaya added, "The teachers are our American mothers."

"The teachers are okay, but I don't like school," Faisal said. Alberto and Anton agreed.

Mrs. Kaye asked Homera how she felt about American teens.

Homera said in very broken English, "I want them to understand our culture. American girls see my scarf and ask if I am a slave. I tell them I choose to wear this. I need something to believe in."

Faisal said, "One time a boy asked me, Why should we care about Iraq?"

"I would tell him that the more he cares about other people, the happier he will be," Velida said.

"Americans have bad ideas about, Muslims. We are not all terrorists. Islam is a religion of peace," Nadia said. "We offer food for anyone who comes to our home. We treat others as if we were all one family."

Anton said, "American kids ask me how to say dirty words in my language." He laughed and said, "I tell them the words for 'butterfly' or 'flower.' They think they are cool, but the joke is on them."

Mrs. Kaye said, "Good use of an idiom, 'the joke is on them.'" She explained it to the class.

Nadia was amazed by how disrespectful American students were—talking to their friends in class, mouthing off, and sleeping. She could not imagine interrupting a teacher or calling an adult by a first name.

Zlatko had been taught to help his friends, and he didn't like the competitiveness of American kids.

Anton was shocked by American kids kissing in the halls or shouting, "Fuck you."

Everyone looked at Mrs. Kaye when he said that. She only said, "Swearing in public isn't good manners."

Tharaya said, "I hate how teenagers here talk about their parents. My mom is my best friend." She choked up a bit. "My mother works all the time, then she bakes bread on her days off."

"American teens are always talking about sex and alcohol," Velida added. "In the Ukraine, virginity is more respected. The music here is too sexual and has many bad words. Eminem would never be allowed in my country."

"American kids brag about getting drunk," Liem said. "In my country, alcohol was no big deal. Here teens are desperate to drink."

"American kids are superficial. They have too much freedom, especially sexual freedom. Russian kids respect their parents and never talk back," Zlatko said. "My parents told me to never use alcohol or drugs and I will obey them."

"In Vietnam we were taught that if kids talked badly about their parents, we must walk away immediately," Patti said.

Velida protested, "Some American kids are nice."

"They are nice to their friends," Tharaya agreed. "But not their parents."

"How can they be rude to their parents?" Velida asked. "Parents gave us the gift of life."

The talk moved from teenagers to American media. Zlatko said he hated American TV. He liked a few American movies—
Patch Adams, Contact,
and
Deep Impact.
But he'd walked out of
American Pie,
which he said was filthy. His family rented Russian movies.

Nadia said her family only watched Iraqi movies. Homera had never even seen a movie. Once Tharaya had watched the
Jerry Springer Show
and she wondered how the show found people who would talk badly about their own families. Faisal defended
Springer.
He said, "That's where you learn what America is really like."

Mrs. Kaye said, "America isn't as bad as that, really."

Anton said he liked the court shows. He joked he was learning to be a judge. Khoi said, "Are you sure you are not learning to be a criminal?"

Alberto said, "At first I was shocked by Americans, but now I like them." Cahn pointed at Faisal, "He likes X-rated movies."

Faisal looked embarrassed. Recently, he'd been caught in the media center on a triple-X web site. As the year had progressed, Faisal had become contemptuous of women and less respectful of authority.

Once when Mrs. Kaye had said that a heart filled with goodness was important, Faisal sneered that he preferred a house filled with money. In an earlier class, while discussing
Driving Miss Daisy,
Mrs. Kaye had asked the class about the feelings of Miss Daisy in a particular scene. Faisal had asked scornfully, "What do the feelings of an old woman matter?"

Mrs. Kaye was angry at Faisal, but she felt for him, too. He couldn't read; his parents were not learning English or becoming bicultural, and he had no real adult guides. Previously, he had worked with a mentor and he had been happier. One glorious day he had come into her room and shouted happily, "I am learning to read." But the school had to cut funds and the reading mentors were gone. Faisal had become angrier and more misogynistic.

By now Faisal seemed to be inhaling the worst influences in our culture. He was losing his cultural values and gaining gangster values. Tharaya and Velida, by contrast, seemed to know what was good and beautiful. They made good choices about everything—friends, studies, even leisure activities. Patti liked Vietnamese movies. Cahn and Khoi loved Jackie Chan. Velida loved
Titanic
although it made her cry for hours. Actually, all the girls loved
Titanic.

Nadia's family got cable television so they could receive stations from the Middle East. In fact, many of the students' families watched shows from their home countries.

Alberto said, "TV is boring and stupid, but it passes the time."

Mrs. Kaye said, "Don't watch too much TV. It isn't a good way to learn English. It's better to learn by making friends with Americans and by studying. TV rots your brain."

Cahn said, "Drugs have already rotted my brain." Nobody laughed.

Day 75—March 23, 2000

On a spring day, Mrs. Kaye separated the girls and the boys for lectures on health issues. I stayed with the girls as the health educator arrived with her handouts and a box of props. Many of the girls were a strange mixture of ignorant and traumatized. Most had never experienced anyone talking about sexuality. They knew almost nothing about reproductive health or normal sexuality, but many had been raped or seen their mothers and older sisters being raped.

Homera seemed most upset about the topic. She wore a black scarf that completely covered her face except for her eyes. Today she shut her eyes when the health educator put up the first overhead slide. Even though Homera was married and presumably had been sexually actiVe, she obviously didn't want to discuss sex in public. I could tell she would rather be anywhere than in this class.

Patti was the biggest contrast to Homera. She was dressed in a tight mustard-colored sleeveless shirt and overalls. She wore long dangly earrings and a bored expression to disguise the fact that she was paying close attention.

Velida had missed the last few weeks of school, but today she was here. She had a shaved head now, but she didn't seem to mind. She wore a little pink ribbon around her head and laughed easily as always. She was interested in all aspects of health and not embarrassed by the sexual discussion.

The health educator explained that Americans are obsessed with cleanliness and she talked about the need to shower every day and to shampoo regularly. She passed around samples of deodorants and talked about body odor. Patti passed the deodorant on without looking at it, but Nadia and Homera examined the deodorant as if it were a piece of the space shuttle.

The health educator had an overhead that showed stick people washing their hands and getting immunizations. She spoke about dental hygiene. Most of the girls knew about brushing teeth, but no one had heard of dental floss.

The health educator explained what it is like to go to the doctor. She first mentioned the need for a Medicaid or insurance card. She explained that it wasn't personal, but that American doctors wouldn't treat you if you didn't have these cards. Now it was my turn to sigh and look uncomfortable, ashamed of our rich country that wouldn't help a sick baby without making sure there was money.

Velida said, "To see the doctor here, you need many papers. But my doctors are kind."

The health educator covered generic versus brand-name medications and why it is important to finish a bottle of antibiotics. She warned against mixing medications. Here, for the first time, the girls had a few questions. Nadia asked what she should do about a cough that wouldn't go away. Patti asked if Advil is the same as ibuprofen.

When the health educator put up a poster showing the female reproductive system, Homera gasped, then lay her head on her desk so that she could see nothing. Nadia averted her eyes, but Tharaya, Velida, and Patti carefully studied those drawings.

The health educator explained menstruation. As she discussed fallopian tubes and ovaries, Tharaya and Nadia giggled nervously. Homera turned beet red. Patti listened closely, then asked, "What does it mean if you don't have a period?"

The health educator said, "If you are sexually active, it might mean you are pregnant. Otherwise, it could be stress, or maybe too much exercise."

Patti yawned in an exaggeratedly indifferent way and asked, "How do you know if you are pregnant?"

The health educator told her about pregnancy kits then moved on to feminine hygiene. She asked if any girls in the room used tampons and all the girls said no. Even Patti, Velida, and Tharaya thought that if you used a tampon you would lose your virginity. The health educator said that wasn't true, but she didn't persuade anyone. Homera put her hands over her ears so that she could not even hear the lecture.

As the girls passed around the tampon, they handled it like it was hot or infectious. Patti seemed curious about the tampon as a cultural artifact. She asked when it was invented and what was its purpose. But she said, "I will never buy these."

Tharaya asked why she felt so tired when she had her period. The health educator suggested that she get a blood test for iron deficiency.

The health educator pulled out a rubber model of a breast and explained breast exams. She explained the mammogram procedures by saying it was just like making a hamburger patty out of the breast. Patti held the breast models to her chest and the girls laughed. Nadia and Homera wouldn't touch the breast model. Tharaya said it felt like Jell-O. Velida passed it on as if it were a plate of spaghetti and she was full.

When the health educator put up a model of male anatomy, Homera asked to leave. The health educator said, "Okay, go to the library," and Homera rushed gratefully out.

Nadia looked at the picture, but only her desire to understand a medical lecture kept her in the room. How could she be a doctor if she couldn't sit through this? But when the health educator used the word
ejaculation,
Nadia covered her ears.

On the other hand, Patti, Tharaya, and Velida were attentive. Patti asked about condoms. The health educator stressed that abstinence was the safest and best form of birth control and she urged the students to wait for sex until they were older. However, she answered Patti's question and stressed that condoms did not always work and could only be used once. She told of two couples who had sex in a car. The boy in the front seat passed his condom to the boy in the backseat who turned it inside out and reused it. The girl in the backseat got pregnant but with the front-seat boy's baby.