The Michael Jackson Tapes (32 page)
Read The Michael Jackson Tapes Online
Authors: Shmuley Boteach
MJ: Are you kidding? That's my most favorite thing in the whole world, to prank people. I love doing it, but I am afraid that some people will get mad even though sometimes I don't care. But I do it all the time. I carry stink-bombs and water balloons. After every video, on the last day the whole room stinks like rotten eggs and it all turns to a big mess and everybody knows what I do and everybody knows that's when it's done. And then I walk out. I love it.
SB: Do you see very serious people becoming more childlike in front of your eyes when that happens?
MJ: Yes, and they talk about it and how funny it was. It is fun. SB: You will remember that on Friday night at my home one of the guests was a woman who is in her early forties and a successful real estate mogul. She has over 100 employees. But at what price? She is not married, she doesn't have children. She said she didn't have time to date. I said, “What about Friday nights?” “Well,” she said, “I am ashamed to tell you that I am normally at the office until 11:00-12:00 p.m., even on Friday nights.” So, she has given up a lot of her personal life in order to have this big business. What would you say to someone like that?
MJ: I would try and show them some of the wonderful things that they are missing and not to be overly serious and not too much of a workaholic, even though I am a workaholic. But you must stop sometimes and have fun. There is so much fun to be had because
once . . . our time can be so limited on the planet and I think real family and great memories and doing things with children are some of the most wonderful treasures. I have had some amazing good times. When I am sad I start reflecting on the good times to make me feel better. I do it in bed at night sometimes when I get down on myself. I put the most wonderful thought in my head, some wonderful experience and I feel a chemical reaction taking over in my body where I am actually there and I love that. I get upset if some idiot, I mean worse than a Stooge, a complete idiot writes something stupid and so untrue and so unlike what happened at the event or something I was at. And I get so angry and I try not to be angry because I am hurting myself. And I start thinking about me flying through the air with the wind in my face. I do it in Africa. I go way up high and I am so happy up there and I am flying. I think it is one of the most wonderful things I have discovered and I love it. It's the freedom. It's bliss. It's quintessential bliss, I think. It's the height of fun.
once . . . our time can be so limited on the planet and I think real family and great memories and doing things with children are some of the most wonderful treasures. I have had some amazing good times. When I am sad I start reflecting on the good times to make me feel better. I do it in bed at night sometimes when I get down on myself. I put the most wonderful thought in my head, some wonderful experience and I feel a chemical reaction taking over in my body where I am actually there and I love that. I get upset if some idiot, I mean worse than a Stooge, a complete idiot writes something stupid and so untrue and so unlike what happened at the event or something I was at. And I get so angry and I try not to be angry because I am hurting myself. And I start thinking about me flying through the air with the wind in my face. I do it in Africa. I go way up high and I am so happy up there and I am flying. I think it is one of the most wonderful things I have discovered and I love it. It's the freedom. It's bliss. It's quintessential bliss, I think. It's the height of fun.
SB: Do you ever close your eyes and see yourself in front of one hundred thousand adoring fans? Does that help?
MJ: I love the fire and the majesty of all of that, that you can command an audience and the feeling of all of that. I love that a lot. That's another great feeling. But it's not the same as this feeling of flight. Or just looking over a panorama of some beautiful picturesque scenery which is so beautiful you really start to cry. I cry. I say, “Thank you.” You see the most beautiful sky where the clouds are hues of orange and purple. God, it's so beautiful. I start to pray. I kinda take a mental picture of it because I want to remember it.
SB: What would your prayer be in moments like that?
MJ: God, this is so beautiful. Thank you for making the heavens and earth such a beautiful place. If other people don't recognize it and appreciate it, I do. Thank you, thank you so much. That's what I do. I have had moments when I have said to another person, “Look at that beautiful sky,” and they have said, “Yeah? It's nice.” I go, “There must be something wrong with me. Why do I see it and they don't?” Why do I appreciate it and they don't appreciate it? I went to a museum in Paris and I swear to you, my bodyguards
are a witness to what happened to me, they had to carry me. I broke down crying and the lady who was showing us round said, “What's wrong with him?” And they said, “He is so moved by what he has seen.”
are a witness to what happened to me, they had to carry me. I broke down crying and the lady who was showing us round said, “What's wrong with him?” And they said, “He is so moved by what he has seen.”
Practical Jokes
Michael described to me his honest love for playfulness, which could be amusingly childlike or annoyingly childish. Michael often could not discern the difference between that which was innocent and affable and that which was obnoxious, with laughs coming at other people's expense.
Shmuley Boteach: Tell me more about your practical jokes.
Michael Jackson: [Once] I took a whole bottle of scotch and I poured it into this glass in this serious meeting with all these people and I started to drink the whole thing in one gulp. And I swallowed it and I started breathing and everyone went silent. I filled it with water. They died laughing. I love doing stuff like that. I had 'em Shmuley. They thought it was vodka.
When Michael told me this story, I was still under the impression that he never drank. Even when he came to our home on Friday nights for the Sabbath dinner, in which it is customary for everyone to have at least a little bit of the Kiddush-benediction wine, he still never drank what he called “Jesus juice.” Why he would have gone to such lengths to mislead me and brag to me that he never even had alcohol in the smallest quantities is beyond me. Clearly, I would not have judged him harshly for having a glass of wine. It was a grave disappointment, therefore, to discover in his 2005 trial that he had lied so much about not consuming alcohol, the sin being in the lie rather than in the consumption.
SB: I was visiting my brother's house in LA. Debbie and I were dating at the time. Debbie came to my house because we wanted to get married and we wanted to get my father's blessing and all that
and we are very traditional. My father is Middle Eastern and he is looking at Debbie and she was only nineteen and I was twenty-one. I got married very young.
and we are very traditional. My father is Middle Eastern and he is looking at Debbie and she was only nineteen and I was twenty-one. I got married very young.
MJ: I wish I had.
SB: I always say better to have married the right person at the wrong time than the wrong person at the right time. Anyway, you know the hottest peppers, the little red ones. My brother, who is a practical joker, said to Debbie, who has this very sweet and trusting nature, “Have those.” She said, “Aren't they the hot ones?” He said, “No. They are the sweet ones.” Debbie takes two and puts them in her mouth. She turns red, purple, blue, and says, “Oh my God. Water!” My brother says, “Here's some water,” and gives it to her and she drinks the whole thing. And it was vodka. Pure vodka. It's the first time she had met my father. Debbie can't drink. She barely even drinks wine. She nearly passed out.
MJ: That's funny.
SB: Debbie is very innocently naive. Tell me more of the practical jokes you have done?
MJ: I love doing rowdy stuff. Tell 'em Frank.
Frank: Shmuley, we went to the south of France getting a music award. We were in a suite overlooking the ocean. It's a beautiful view. Downstairs below are people eating in a restaurant, elegant ties, suits, gorgeous, eating. It was 7:30-8:00 pm and it was still light. We were looking at each other and we had the same idea in mind. We got to the garbage bag and filled it with water and right below us the people are eating. We threw it [the rest is inaudible because Michael and Frank are laughing]. . . the deluge of water is on the table. We laughed so hard that we were dying. It was so mean, the dinner was over. They were standing up going.
That same night, 4 am, people coming in, the sun's coming up. They were singing. We got a bucket of water and waited until they got close enough.
I love stuff like that. They don't know where it came from.
Frank may sound obnoxious from this story, but he was always charming and well-mannered when the three of us spent time together,
which was quite often. Later, Frank would become an unindicted coconspirator in Michael's trial, accused of attempting to abduct Michael's accuser's family. But Frank was never violent or threatening in any way, and I found the idea of him harming, or threatening to harm, Michael's accuser's family utterly inconceivable. Frank and I clashed somewhat over what Michael should be doing with his life. Yet today Frank is one of my dearest friends and I have tried to play the role of something of a mentor to him. When the trial ended, Frank told me that he had spoken to Michael the day after the trial and basically reaffirmed to Michael everything that I had preached four years earlier, namely, the need for Michael to reconnect with God and his family, to leave Neverland and live in a normal community, to stop taking medication for every ailment, and to get serious with his life.
which was quite often. Later, Frank would become an unindicted coconspirator in Michael's trial, accused of attempting to abduct Michael's accuser's family. But Frank was never violent or threatening in any way, and I found the idea of him harming, or threatening to harm, Michael's accuser's family utterly inconceivable. Frank and I clashed somewhat over what Michael should be doing with his life. Yet today Frank is one of my dearest friends and I have tried to play the role of something of a mentor to him. When the trial ended, Frank told me that he had spoken to Michael the day after the trial and basically reaffirmed to Michael everything that I had preached four years earlier, namely, the need for Michael to reconnect with God and his family, to leave Neverland and live in a normal community, to stop taking medication for every ailment, and to get serious with his life.
MJ: It was so much fun.
SB: Did you ever get caught?
MJ: No. I had one of my stage managers make me a laser and it was this long (makes a hand gesture) and it shoots out for several miles. People could have been walking several blocks away but we made this red dot go along with them. We do that everywhere. Here in the Four Seasons. They called the police and knocked on the door. It was four years ago. We were spying in somebody's room, it was so much fun. We hid it because I didn't want to lose it. The police knocked on the door and our security was talking to them and taking care of it. I don't know what he said. You have got to have some fun, come on. We love anything with water.
Frank: We were in a hotel once. . .
MJ: South America wasn't it?
Frank: We filled up a garbage can of water and if you tilt it toward the door when you open it, so when you open it water falls all over you.
MJ: I love that.
Frank: So we knock on the door and we run. They open the door. Wham! Water.
SB: This is in a hotel? This is the South American story?
MJ: South America was different. There people go out on their balconies right below you, sunbathing, with no clothes on hanging their dirty laundry that they just cleaned on the rail of the balcony, their panties drying in the sun. Boom! A bunch of water goes over everything. I love that. I love it too much. It gives me great pleasure.
Frank: There was this girl and this guy and the girl has no top on. We lean over, we see them, all of a sudden, whooom!
MJ: [Laughing] When it comes down I love that. When they jump, it kills me.
This is another sign that for all of Michael's protestations that he was never childish but only childlike, that was simply not the case. To be sure, dropping a water balloon on some tourist is not murder or rape, but it sure can ruin your evening if you're the target. And it always puzzled me that Michael, who was scrupulously careful to appear gentlemanly in my presence, could at times behave with such disregard for other people. But to be fair to Michael, certainly from everything I witnessed, he was scrupulously courteous to everyone he met. And, perhaps, these accounts were somewhat exaggerated. As I said, Frank especially was always a gentleman.
SB: You have only ever got caught once with that laser? Where is the laser now?
MJ: It's in storage somewhere in California. I wish I could find it. I would take it all over the world. It goes miles. Any of these buildings (Michael points out the window) where you are walking, it is a red dot.
AFTERWORD
Fall of an IconHumpty Dumpty sat on a wall:
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's horses and all the King's men
Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty in his place again.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's horses and all the King's men
Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty in his place again.
âLewis Carroll
“Humpty Dumpty” is said to have been inspired by England's notorious fifteenth-century monarch, King Richard III. But it might also be applied to the self-styled King of Pop, Michael Jackson, the Humpty Dumpty of our time, who fell off the wall, became tragically disfigured, and crumbled before our very eyes. All the King's horses and all the King's menâthe retinue of lawyers who got him out of legal trouble, the cadre of doctors who medicated him into oblivion, the sycophantic brownnosing handlers who catered to his every destructive whimânot only failed to put his life back together again but served as the principal culprits behind his fall.
Off the Wall
is, of course, the title of Michael's first solo album as an adult artist, and it seems to capture the public's experience of Michael in the years since we parted ways in 2001. To most people, Michael Jackson had become a weirdo, a freak, arguably the strangest celebrity on earth. His trial on charges of child molestation neatly confirmed for most people the fact that he was beyond redemption.
is, of course, the title of Michael's first solo album as an adult artist, and it seems to capture the public's experience of Michael in the years since we parted ways in 2001. To most people, Michael Jackson had become a weirdo, a freak, arguably the strangest celebrity on earth. His trial on charges of child molestation neatly confirmed for most people the fact that he was beyond redemption.
But from reading these moving and at times heartbreaking transcripts, you may have arrived at a different conclusion, one that I arrived at years ago. The story of Michael Jackson is that of a once decent and
humble man who was so desperate for attention that he made himself into an idol to be worshipped, only to be later exposed, like all false gods before him, as an impostor, as a god of tin rather than of gold, as a one-trick deity rather than an all-powerful divinity.
humble man who was so desperate for attention that he made himself into an idol to be worshipped, only to be later exposed, like all false gods before him, as an impostor, as a god of tin rather than of gold, as a one-trick deity rather than an all-powerful divinity.
Yes, Michael was once a very special man, a man of deep faith who grew up as a devout Jehovah's Witness, a son of considerable devotion to his parents who despite being the most famous entertainer in the world insisted on living at home until his late twenties. A pop star who eschewed the usual mix of hallucinogenic drugs and promiscuous sex with groupies and, instead, visited hospitals and orphanages. An American icon who announced that his celebrity would be devoted to alleviating the plight of unloved and uncared-for children.
Indeed, there were times in our two-year friendship when I stood in quiet awe at what I saw as this man's deep-seated goodness. That it all came crashing down so thoroughly prior to his death, that Michael became one of the most loathed and reviled public figures of our time, was a tragedy of epic proportions.
The sensitive and introspective Michael Jackson that you have encountered in this book, the man whom I once called my very dear friend, ceased to exist years before his tragic and untimely end. In its place a sad and hollow shell of something that once resembled a man lived on in squalid infamy. His reputation in tatters, he appeared more mannequin than man, more beast than being. Peter Pan had become Peter Porn. The man who expressed his ideas so eloquently in this book might have surprised you with his intelligence, delighted you with his wit, and provoked you with the depth of his insights about life.
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