The Meridian Gamble (63 page)

“So you aren’t the one who let them
in this time?”

“No, I’m not. But I am the one who
found you first.”

“Roland, I still don’t know if
that’s a good thing. I can’t seem to shake this feeling that the Luminos are
doing something horrible. I just don’t know that you should have given them the
blood.”

“Meridian, there is something I
must tell you. I have not been completely honest with you, and I realize now
that it was a mistake. One of many I’ve made …"

He moves closer to me, and for some
reason, I think Roland is about to kiss me. He stares at me with those riveting
blue eyes, the ones that seem to hold me in place with their intensity, in the
way only a supernatural creature could.

 "Though I care for you
deeply, and I am convinced that you and I are meant to be together, there is
another reason I have searched for you. Years ago, when you were Saga, the
elder vampires came to the scene of one of our greatest battles, and gave me a
message …”

“I know, I remember that part. It’s
a bit of her life that’s come back to me.”

“Then you may have heard them say
that you were meant to lead us. But the Elders also had a message that was only
for me, one they put directly in my mind. They gave me a task. They told me
that I am to be your protector. And though I have failed in that role time and
again, I will not let you down in this lifetime. Because you are important, far
more so than me, or Marion, or Adam. You are more important than all of us
combined.”

My protector. It’s odd, the way he
says it, with such importance, as though it’s his great mission in life. Which,
it must be from his perspective, because the Elders have given him this task.
And suddenly, it makes some bit of sense, why he and Adam have struggled over
me so intensely. Even though he has feelings for me, I now know that it’s
something more.

Yet, even though Roland says I’m
important, I feel anything but.

“Everyone keeps saying this, but it
can’t be right. I don’t want to lead, I’m not ready to be transformed again.
I’m not ready for any of this.”

“I can’t decide what you are or are
not ready for, even though I am more than confident in you. I can only try to
help you understand your role in this battle. And at the very least, there are
worse things in the world than a visit to the City of Lights.”

Roland smiles,
but even his charming grin isn’t enough to make me feel chipper about visiting
the elder vampires in Paris, even though I must. And I only hope that my purpose
hasn’t already been served, that giving them Roland’s blood wasn’t my role in
this struggle. Because then this visit to Paris might cost me my life.

Our flight is a long one. In a
sense, it’s a lucky thing that I’ve been through so much, because despite my
nervousness about my possible fate, I’m still recovering from my ordeal in the
tanks and I’m too weary to freak out much. It’s only been one or two days since
my rescue, and I’ve probably done more walking than I should have, though the
plane flight is making up for that. And after a few glasses of champagne, I
quickly fall asleep.

And I dream.

Of course, they aren’t nice ones.

I’m back in the desert, after our
battle. And Adam and Marion are chasing down their last kills, looking for just
the right plump and juicy soldier for us to feast on. And I can’t wait. The
taste of the blood is so delicious, so completely satisfying that, at times, I
can’t think of anything else. And I’m tempted to gnaw on a limb from the
battlefield, only that isn’t their way. They alway feast on the best and the
finest, and it’s only the most precious of lives that deserve to sustain them.

And I see them again, the Elders,
walking across the desert floor. I see Roland rushing to meet them.

When he greets them, I hear the
elder vampire’s words. Only this time, they echo in my mind, just as Roland
said their private message did for him.

“You will lead us into …”

And the second I hear him, I wake
with a start. And I look around the plane, remembering where I am. I’m not so
confused as I usually am when returning from a past life dream, but something
still bothers me. It’s as if the elder vampire’s words changed somehow. He’s
added something, two simple syllables … “into.” But I’m not sure what it means.

“You will lead us into …”

I will lead them into something,
but what? A battle? Glory? None of it makes any sense.

I’m drowsy, but food quickly rouses
me from my slumber. And the first class stewardesses bring us lovely treats. We
get an appetizer tray with hummus and pita bread, a selection of various
cheeses. And later, I’m given a choice of meals, and pick the Thai one, which
has spicy noodles and broccoli beef. Luckily, the cuisine doesn’t seem to upset
my stomach.

Roland chooses a steak meal, and
only nibbles on it, because it’s really just to give the delicious chunk of
meat to me. But I see him staring at the pretty blonde who serves us with a
kind of hunger in his eyes, though it isn’t lust.

“Are you sure you’re all right?”

“I’ll be fine. I can control my
hunger, especially when I know refreshment will be waiting for me when we land.
14 hours is nothing in the span of my lifetime. Entire human lives pass by in
the blink of an eye.”

And I look at him, my second
vampire lover … Roland, my protector. He’s so big and good-looking, and so much
has passed between us, in our own way. And now I have the chance to talk to
him, to ask all the questions that have been rattling around in my mind. What I
suppose I wonder now, more than ever, is how much he loved them, my past
selves. I wonder if we had more time together, would he have loved Saga and
Caroline forever, or were they just new baubles to collect? Was I just a piece
in his sacred duty?

And if I had survived in either of
those lifetimes, would I have stayed with him, or gone to Adam?

It’s wrong, but I ask him the same
thing Caroline did, in my past life.

“Tell me something. Did you miss
me, when I was gone?”

I’m not sure why I say it. It’s
unkind to taunt Roland on the level of his affection, especially when I’ve been
with Adam so recently. But he doesn’t seem to mind, and the lines at the edge
of his mouth turn upward, into something that is the tiniest of smiles.

“You have a light about you,
Meridian. And when it was gone, both times, it left a hole in my heart far
greater than you can imagine,” he says. “I was enraged by your death. I was
furious with Marion, for being so foolish as to have allowed herself to be
attacked. And, of course, with Adam, for what he did. It was torture that we
had so little time together, and that you were taken away from me. And now, I
hate myself most of all, that it was I who played with your life this time.
That I put you in a position where you felt the need to expose yourself to
Marion. I should never have done that, Meridian. I should have approached you
more carefully.”

“It’s not your fault, Roland. I
don’t blame you. And you’ve saved me from the fate I brought upon myself.
You’re my protector, remember?”

And I get him to smile.

“But tell me something. If you
didn’t have this fate, this assignment from the Elders, would you still feel
the same way about me?”

“I felt that way about Saga from
the moment I met her, before the Elders even whispered her name. And Caroline,
before I knew who she really was. I feel so strongly about you that I will even
protect you from this fate you hate so much, if that is your choice.”

We’re so close, even in the first
class recliner chairs. And now it really does start to happen. Roland leans
closer, and I want to kiss his lips, to feel what it’s like to stare into those
mesmerizing blue eyes with love, once again. But remembering what that feels
like from the past is almost torture, because things have changed. Adam is out
there, somewhere, and it just isn’t the same.

Our lips are about to come
together, but I have to stop him.

“Don’t, Roland.”

“Just one kiss?” he says.

“There’s just too much else going
on. I can’t have this in the mix, too.”

“I understand,” he says. “But, just
remember, vampires are very good at waiting.”

He pulls away
with a smile, and it’s a knowing one, as if he’s convinced I won’t be able to
resist.

Luckily, I have the ability to
constantly fall asleep, and I quickly pass out again, and have more strange
dreams. But I don’t have nightmares about scary vampires this time.

When I drift off, I’m transported
away to a place that seems like Mount Olympus. There’s a statuesque woman
standing there, with deep auburn curls that run down her back, which is covered
by a floor length burgundy dress. And despite her dark hair and garb, she has a
kind of luminosity about her.

She’s standing in a place that’s
all white, a huge, circular room, with a large doorway behind her that’s framed
by two white columns. It leads out to a terrace that overlooks a city that’s
like nothing I’ve ever seen before. It’s a mixture of lush green trees that are
seamlessly integrated with sparkling buildings, ones that are far more pristine
than the structures of any metropolis that’s ever existed. And there’s
something that looks like a birdbath next to the woman. But instinctively, I know
it’s something else; a scrying pool.

An older man wearing white robes
rushes into the room behind her.

“What news do you bring of the
realms?” she says.

“It is not of the realms. It is
your daughter,” he says fearfully. “She is incarnating.”

“What? That’s impossible! You must
stop her!”

“It’s too late. She’s already made
it to the portals.”

And her face is awash with
disappointment and pain.

“She could be lost to us forever,”
the woman proclaims with great seriousness. And within my dream state, I can
sense her agony, in a way that makes me feel horrible guilt.

The scene shifts to another place
in this strange world and I see someone who’s me, only she’s not. She’s a girl
with long brown hair, who wears a white dress that looks like it came from a
fairy’s wardrobe. She actually looks a bit like Caroline. And the girl runs
along in fear, as though someone might stop her at any moment. She heads down a
long hallway that leads into a room filled with seven or eight glowing discs of
light, portals that glow in slightly different shades. Without hesitation, she
leaps for a white one, directly in front of her, without looking back.

And the second she touches the
light, I wake once again.

It’s later, and the little lamps in
the cabin have been dimmed, so the passengers can sleep. Even Roland closes his
eyes, and I’m not sure if he’s unconscious or just meditating, lost in the
mental worlds that he navigates.

I almost forget that I just had
another dream, it all seems like gibberish. But when I think back on it, I wonder
if it was also real. I wonder if it was the place in the clouds. Who was the
woman who seemed to be it’s ruler? A mother? Was she my mother? Certainly not
the one who brought me into this world. And I wonder if the girl who ran for
the portals was me, or at least Caroline, before she came back to Earth this
time. And I can still feel a hint of the desperation she felt, to return.

She wanted to
see someone again, and I’m not sure if it was Adam or Roland.

We arrive late in Paris, and
despite my curiosity about the city and my nervous state, I’m exhausted. It was
a long flight, but luckily, we’ve brought the little satchels from the Range
Rover onto the plane, minus the body armor. There are more clothes for me to
change into, and before we land, I’m able to put on a fresh dress and undies in
the bathroom. And when we finally get off, it feels so good to stretch my legs
once more.

I think that we’ll call a taxi at
the curb of the airport, but I’m surprised to find a limousine already waiting
for us there.

“This is our ride,” Roland says,
taking my hand and leading me toward it.

I raise an eyebrow to him,
skeptically.

“Really?”

“I was able to reach my contact
here, telepathically, to arrange our stay.”

The dashing driver holding the door
for us winks at me, and I instantly know he’s another vampire.

Inside the vehicle there’s a
mini-bar, and I’m surprised when Roland quickly moves toward it. But I soon
realize that it isn’t red wine that he’s pouring, and I’m relieved that he’s
finally found nourishment. As Roland takes a sip of the chilled, crimson fluid,
a look of relief comes over his face.

“Ah, much better,” he says.

There’s alcohol for me, Dom
Perignon, vodka and more, but the last thing I want is to drink, so I have a
few sips of orange juice, instead.

As the limousine pulls away from
the airport and glides off toward the City of Lights, I look around for some
signs that I’m in Europe. It’s my first visit, at least in this lifetime, and I
want to enjoy the experience in some small way, if it’s even possible. As of
late, I’ve learned to grab what happiness I can.

The highways seem like highways,
the streets seem like city streets. But soon, I see a sign written in French,
which excites me, and I catch glimpses of little cafes and shops I would love
to try. I only hope to find myself here under better circumstances some day, to
have the chance to truly investigate them.

Soon, I get a dazzling glimpse of
the Eiffel Tower lighting up the night sky. It reminds me of a scene from a
romantic comedy, but unfortunately, my life is no Cameron Diaz movie. It’s
become more of a horror film.

The limousine finally pulls onto a
cobblestone street and we approach a luxurious hotel. It’s several stories
high, and looks more like a palace Marie Antoinette might live in. There’s an
awning over the entrance, which reads, “L’Etoile de Luxe” in curling letters.
I’m not sure what it means, but it looks like everything I’ve dreamt a hotel in
Paris could be.