The Memories of Ana Calderón (28 page)

I worked as a floor supervisor with Shelly Fuermann for the next two years, and we became friends. I have to admit that I liked him because he was an easy-going person who enjoyed joking, and I could see that he felt good being with me. We had lunch together most days in his office when we chatted about movies or food or gossip we had heard. But I never talked about myself, even though I knew that he wanted to know what I was like when I was alone. Hardly a day passed when Shelly didn't ask me questions that might give him a little information about what was inside of me.

One day as Shelly was peeling an orange, he blurted out, “I'll bet you've read a lot of books, haven't you, Ana?”

Ana was surprised at his question, and she looked at him quizzically. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, you seem to know a lot.”

“I guess I've read a few books.”

“Like which ones?'

“Mostly novels.”

“Which ones?”

“What's in that orange that's making you ask so many questions?” Ana had finished her lunch and was brushing crumbs from her lap as she spoke to Shelly. When he didn't answer, she continued speaking. “There's one by John Steinbeck that I really like.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Now? We've got to go back to work in a few minutes.”

“Come on, just a little bit.” The truth was that Shelly enjoyed hearing Ana speak; he loved the sound of her voice
and the way she pronounced words.

“It's about a couple of brothers and how one hates the other one because their father loves him more. It's also about their mother, who leaves them to become first a prostitute, then the owner of a brothel. It all happens in Salinas.”

“Prostitution! Brothels! My, my, Miss Calderón! I thought you were a nice girl, and here you spend your time reading seedy novels.” Shelly teased her, hoping to get more talk out of her. He didn't want her to leave, but she was packing her thermos and lunch bag. “What other novels can you tell me about, Ana?”

She had slid to the edge of her chair. With her elbows on the desk and cocking her head sideways, she looked at him inquisitively. “Such interest in novels all of a sudden. What's going on?” She smiled and said, “Well, there's Anna Karenina. She was a rich woman with a boring, bossy husband. She fell in love with someone else, and for that she was punished by everyone: her husband, her friends, her relatives. He—the lover, that is—wasn't blamed for anything.”

Shelly was staring at Ana, obviously weighing what to say next. Then he raised his arm and spoke in a melodramatic tone, “Ah, sex, sex, sex! It maketh the world goeth around.” He laughed out loud, seemingly enjoying what he considered a witty remark. When he noticed that she was not sharing the joke, he blurted out, “Ana, have you ever had sex?”

She stood up and made for the door, incensed by his question. As she put her hand on the doorknob, she hesitated, then turned to face him. “None of your damned business!”

“Ha! I love it! You've got guts! Ana, you're great! Really! You're right, it isn't any of my business.” Shelly's eyes were filled with admiration and affection for her. He thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Before walking out, Ana narrowed her eyes as she looked at him, deciding what next to say. “If you're wondering how a person like me ever had the time to read those novels, I'll tell you. I read them while I was doing time in prison. Terminal Island.” She didn't allow Shelly to speak because she abruptly left the room. She knew that ice water thrown in his face would not have shocked him as her words had done.

At lunch time next day, Ana joined Shelly because she didn't want him to think she was upset with him. He seemed surprised to see her come into the office, but in a few
moments he showed that he was happy that she had returned.

They ate their sandwiches almost in silence. At the end, Shelly said to her, “You know, Ana, I think you ought to go back to school.” When he saw her surprise, he went on. “No, really. I mean it. You've got something special.”

Ana shrugged her shoulders and smiled cynically. “Really? What's so special about me. I told you yesterday I was a jailbird.”

“Don't talk that way. I don't care about that, and I don't even want to know why it happened. All I'm saying is you're a smart woman and you ought to do something with those smarts.”

“I'm too old. I'm nearly twenty-nine years old.”

“Hey, I'm thirty, so if you think I'm going to let you tell me that's old, you've got a fight on your hands! No, kid, listen to me. Remember when you went into the old man's office and laid out what the workers wanted? Had it been anybody else, whoosh!” Shelly made a sweeping motion with his hand and forearm. “But did he bat an eye at you? Of course not! And why not? I'll tell you why. You've got something special. It's built-in, and all it needs is to be let out. Polished. Trained. Use whatever word you want, but I think that with a little bit of schooling, you'll go places.”

Impressed by his sincerity, Ana was looking intently at Shelly as he spoke. She didn't appear to be surprised; it was as if he were saying something she had heard before, or thought before.

“Where can I go? I've already done high school.”

“College!”

“Col…College? Now I know you've lost a screw!” Ana was incredulous, and she laughed at the idea. “College is for rich white boys. Not someone like me!”

“Not anymore, lady. Up to five years ago—maybe. Look, Ana, there are new colleges cropping up all over the place. They're called junior colleges. Why don't you look into it? You could take a couple of courses, at night, maybe. Classes in—oh, hell, I don't know. Something like business, or economics, or what about accounting? Yeah, that's it! Accounting. The old man would go bananas if he didn't have to depend on those shysters who screw him every time they feel like it.”

Ana silently stood up, but before leaving she placed her hand on his shoulder. She wanted to let him know that she
took him seriously and that he, inadvertently perhaps, had reached into her, breaking through some of the layers that had caked over her after Octavio had betrayed her. All that night she considered what Shelly had said because she often felt that there was something inside of her waiting to be freed from its cage.

She checked around and found out that there was a new junior college in East Los Angeles, located close to where she had grown up, out where the tracks of flowers used to grow on Floral Drive. She decided to move close to the school, and found a small apartment in a two-story building on Brooklyn Avenue, almost across the street from the college. It didn't matter that now she would have to take a bus to work. What was important, she told herself, was that now she could take courses every Monday, Wednesday and Friday night.

Nearly two years passed while I worked with the Fuermanns and took courses. Although I kept in touch with Amy and Franklin with letters, I knew that I was alone. I could have had friends, but something inside of me didn't want to be with other people. I could have allowed Shelly to love me, but I was afraid, and whenever I asked myself why this was so, a door inside of me closed so that I never answered my own questions.

I liked attending classes and I didn't mind spending most of the money I earned on books. Some were for subjects I was studying, but others were those that attracted me with their title, or even their cover. After work and classes, I read for hours during the night, and most of the time I reached the end of the textbook before the assigned class time.

As the months passed, I became more interested in the factory. I saw that there was something about me that was liked by the workers, both men and women. Up to that time, I hadn't realized that others wanted to follow me. I saw that they listened to me, so I kept close to all the workers. My job as a supervisor made it easy for me to stop at their stations to ask how things were going, or what needed to be changed or fixed.

Maybe it was because of this that Mr. Fuermann began to
depend on me more and more. One day, he asked me if I would be willing to keep the company books. But I had to tell him that it was too soon, that I had to study more. He laughed and told me to hurry up because he couldn't wait for me much longer.

Shelly and I went on being friends. Sometimes I accepted his invitation to go to a restaurant and a movie on Saturday nights, but most of the time we talked and joked during lunch breaks or after work. I liked him, and perhaps we could have been more than friends, but we never got the time.

The Korean War broke out in 1950, and Shelly was called up from the list of reserves. At that time, his father was so upset that he was absent from work for three days. Shelly, however, laughed it off, saying that he would win the war single-handed. He joked that if the enemy hadn't plugged him in the last war, they wouldn't do it in this one.

All of us at the factory got together and had a farewell party for him. We sang and ate cake in his honor, and we even gave him a pair of flannel pajamas to keep him warm over there. The day came for him to leave, and Mr. Fuermann asked me to accompany him and Shelly to the ship that was going to transport him. When we said goodbye, he kissed me. I liked the sensation of his lips on mine, but the feeling stayed there. It never reached the rest of my body.

Ezra Fuermann and Son, Inc. experienced a surge of new business during the first months of the Korean War. Ezra had commissioned Ana to make contact with the small stores that were appearing along First and Spring Streets in an effort to create new outlets. He was certain that her style and ability to communicate with the merchants in Spanish would prove to be an asset. He was right. Orders increased to the point that he saw that he had to expand.

Although Ana was now involved with marketing, she continued with her classes. Since her salary had gone up, she was able to buy a used car, giving her more time to concentrate on her books as well as on company business. It turned out that she thrived on work, and everyone around her
wondered how she could keep up with her responsibilities, which increased with each day.

Ana underwent a visible change during that time. Instead of denim pants and loafers, she was now smartly outfitted in tailored suits or dark dresses, and she always wore high-heel shoes. The heavy net or bandanna that used to hold her long hair in place was replaced by smart hats, and she wore gloves whenever she went outdoors.

Ezra Fuermann often joked that he had found the woman with the touch of Midas because whatever the contact might be, if Ana did the transaction, it meant more money for the company. Because of this, Fuermann now included her in most of his major decisions regarding investing in new space and additional machines. She also became instrumental in devising new methods of packaging and transporting of products. It was Ana's idea for the company to expand into baby apparel, a line that soon turned out to be the most successful.