The melody in our hearts (5 page)

As the west coast of Ireland disappeared from her sight and all she could see were the deep blue waters of the Atlantic Ocean, she wondered if she should feel sorry for leaving her whole life behind – her family, her house, the town she had grown up in – but, much as she tried, she simply couldn’t shed a tear. After all, she had cried quite enough in the past couple of years, ever since Ryan had left Dublin. She had cried because she missed him, she had cried because her sister had been nothing but mean to her, she had cried because her parents had tried to forbid her to follow Ryan. It was to be expected that, now that she was leaving it all behind and nobody could stop her, she couldn’t help but feel happy and excited.

Her parents had never really understood how important Ryan had been in her life, how he had changed her simply by being her friend and spending time with her. He had helped her find her self-esteem, he had helped her find her path in life (when he had broken a leg three years before and she used to go with him to his rehab sessions, thus helping her realize she wanted to be a doctor), he had wiped away the tears whenever her school friends made fun of her, and he had been there and helped her when her beloved grandfather had died. Every special moment in her life revolved around Ryan; her whole world revolved around him but, in spite of what her sister kept telling her, she didn’t have a crush on him, and she wasn’t hoping he’d be interested in her in that way. After all, she knew her sister had always spoken out of jealousy because Marie had always liked Ryan and had always flirted with him every time he came to their house, in hopes that he’d ask her out.

Nobody had ever understood Valerie the way Ryan had and still did, even with the ocean between them, and moving to Boston to follow him had been the only option she had. Her grandfather had been the only one to understand how special their friendship was and how it had worked miracles on Valerie, bringing her out of her shell and giving her the confidence she needed to become an adult. If only he had still been alive when Valerie had decided she would move to Boston as soon as she had graduated from high school, she knew things would have been different, and there would have been no fights, pouts, or tears.

She missed her grandpa so much at times. He had always been the one who truly understood her, who told her to follow her dreams, who always thought that Ryan and she would get married one day because they were “a match made in Heaven,” as he used to say.

Get married.

To Ryan.

There was just no way she could even think of that. He was like a brother to her, he had always been her best friend, and she would never be able to feel anything more than just a sheer, deep sisterly love for him.

In spite of all the fights with her parents, though, she had managed to have it her way in the end. Ryan was too important for her to let go of his friendship because she was scared of going against her parents’ will, so for the first time in her life she had stood up for what she believed in. After seeing that she was determined to carry on with her plan with or without their help, her parents had finally given in. Paying tuition fees in Dublin or in Boston wouldn’t make much difference to them, and telling everybody that her daughter was studying in America to become a doctor would earn her mother a lot of points in front of her friends at the golf club, so it hadn’t been such a tragedy after all.

No, she wasn’t sad to leave it all behind at last.

She moved the hands of her watch five hours behind and noticed it was six a.m. in Boston now. She wondered if Ryan was still in bed or if he was up already; would he be as excited as she was to see her again, or had he already found a new circle of friends and would be annoyed by her presence? She had thought for a long while about the possibility that he had found new friends to hang out with, it was only natural that he would, but that didn’t scare her that much. What she was scared of was that, now that they had grown up and he was almost twenty-one, he wouldn’t want to hang out with a girl anymore unless he was dating her. Much as she loved Ryan, she had never seen him as anything more than a best friend and a sort of older brother, and she couldn’t bear to even think that he would stop spending time with her because his new male friends might be brainwashing him about it.

She shivered at the thought, and the flight attendant who was passing by asked if she would like a blanket. Valerie smiled and nodded, not wanting to explain that the reason why she had been shivering wasn’t the air conditioning, but the fact that she was worried her best friend, who meant the world to her, would turn his back on her as soon as the plane landed.

No
, she admonished herself,
Ryan would never do that
. She knew their friendship meant as much to him as it did to her, and there was no way he would ever leave her. He had made a promise to her two years before, he had sealed it with a kiss, their first kiss (and her only one, as far as she was concerned), and he had always kept his promises. Hadn’t he called her just the night before to make sure she hadn’t changed her mind or her parents hadn’t trashed her ticket, locking her up in her room to prevent her from escaping? Why would he have bothered calling her if he hadn’t been just as excited about her reaching him?

She remembered the day she had told him she would move to Boston too. He had been taken aback at first, thinking she wanted to leave straight away before she was done with high school, and had objected to it, but after she had explained that what she had meant was that she would go to college in Boston so that they could be together again soon, he had hugged her and said she was a genius and that he’d be only too happy to send her information on medical schools in the city.

She shook her head, thinking how stupid she was for even thinking that Ryan had changed his mind; she definitely needn’t worry about him turning his back on her. He would always be there for her, always be her friend, and she would do the same for him. It was a fact.

Staring at the sea and feeling all of her worries slowly fade away, as every mile they left behind brought her closer to Ryan, she eventually fell asleep with the blanket pulled up to her chin.

She woke up when the pilot finally informed them that they had started their descent into Logan International Airport, and she felt excitement pervade every cell of her body. She started tossing in her seat, unable to remain quiet, and she looked out of the window as the plane started diving into the white clouds, which reminded her of the almost constant cover of clouds in Dublin’s sky. Just for one moment, she felt homesick. She was leaving it all behind, and everything she knew would be replaced by new streets, new people, and a whole new life. Only one thing would be certain, the one person she had been willing to sacrifice everything for: Ryan. As long as he was with her, she could very well go live in the Sahara Desert and she wouldn’t mind. All of her life, she had felt weird and out of place, up until the moment she had met Ryan and felt as if she had found a long-lost sibling, someone who, unlike her sister, understood the way she felt, liked the same things she did, and with whom she could talk about anything and everything. She was ready and willing to leave everything and everyone behind just to be with him – she had no doubt about it.

When the plane’s wheels hit the runway, her heart jumped in her chest and up her throat, and she unfastened her seat belt with trembling hands, wondering what it would feel like to see Ryan again, knowing that this time they wouldn’t have to say goodbye ever again.

She almost ran to the baggage claim, and her suitcase was among the first ones to show up, so she grabbed it as it passed by her on the carousel. She straightened up and took a long, deep breath, then she picked up her duffel bag and, pulling the trolley behind her, she rushed out of the door, adrenaline building with every step. The sliding doors opened, and she was taken aback by the amount of people waiting there. She suddenly feared she would never be able to spot Ryan and her heart started thudding in her chest, as she scanned the crowd to find her friend.

~
Six
~

Ryan had always wanted a younger brother or sister, someone who would depend on him and whom he could take care of, teaching him or her to ride a bike, to play soccer, and maybe even to play the piano, since his two older brothers seemed to prefer video games and rugby to boring piano lessons, making him feel like a sort of outcast in his own family.

After three boys though, his parents had decided that trying again for a girl would be useless, and so he had ended up being the baby of the family, and his dream of having a younger sibling had remained such.

When he met Valerie, though, he felt as if his dream had finally come true: They shared the same (rather unusual) passion for old music, they both loved hanging out with their grandfathers, and they both loved Frank Sinatra. She had even looked at him in awe when he said he played the piano (his schoolmates usually asked him why he even bothered and if it helped him being more popular with chicks), and she loved to simply sit by him at the Club, listening to him play.

He was really looking forward to seeing Valerie again. He had seen her during Christmas break when he had gone home to Dublin, and they had spent time together, planning her trip to Boston. It was only a matter of hours now before they’d be in the same city and, most importantly, in the same country again. As big a city as Boston was, they’d be only a few blocks away, and they’d be able to see each other whenever they wanted to.

Studying at Berklee was the best thing that could have ever happened to him: The best jazz musicians had been students there, and lots of doors would open when he’d say he had studied at the most renowned school of jazz music in America. He would have been a fool to waste such an opportunity because he didn’t want to leave his hometown and family behind. But leaving Valerie behind had been tough.

When he had first met her five years before, he had immediately liked her. They had connected straight away, and they had never parted until he had gone to college. His schoolmates used to make fun of his friendship with her, hinting that they were more than just friends; he himself had found it hard to believe that a boy and a girl could be just friends, but after spending time with Valerie, he had understood that not only was it possible, but it felt great. Valerie understood him like none of his schoolmates did, and he knew that she felt the same about him.

Now even his American schoolmates were making it sound obvious that he felt something for her that was way beyond friendship, even though he kept telling them they were wrong; of course they were, weren’t they? They didn’t know Valerie, and they didn’t know the kind of relationship they had. He obviously hadn’t told them that his first kiss had been with her because they wouldn’t understand that either. It had been a sort of fraternal kiss, a peck really, just because they both wanted to remember their first kiss related to someone special. It hadn’t meant anything because he didn’t feel that way toward Valerie. When he had started dating Lindsay, the girl from the Film Scoring Department, and he had kissed her, it had felt totally different, not like a fraternal kiss at all.

And that was how he knew that what he and Valerie shared was only a deep, true friendship, even if it was between a girl and a boy.

Their first kiss.

He hadn’t thought of it in years; it had happened the day before he left Dublin to move to Boston, when Valerie was feeling awful and thought he was going to forget her and his dull hometown, all caught up in his new American life, ‘
with cool American friends in a cool school in cool Boston
’, like she had said.

He smiled at the thought and, as he was lying in bed wide awake now, he started to make a mental list of all the things they would do when she finally arrived in Boston. He would be off school for summer break and could show her around and go sightseeing with her. They would have a blast together; she would love Boston, he was sure.

When he realized he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again, he got out of bed, careful not to wake up his roommate, Kevin, and decided to get ready and go to the airport a bit earlier than he had planned. He had promised her that he would pick her up, and they would take a bus back to her campus together. He didn’t want to be late.

“Are you going to the airport already? Isn’t it a bit early?”

Ryan froze in place when he heard Kevin’s voice behind him. He had been teasing him for days, and Ryan wasn’t in the mood to chat with him; Kevin could be a lot of fun most of the time, but when it came to talking about Valerie, he could turn into a real jerk if he wanted.

“I’m not. I’m just going to take a shower and have breakfast, if that’s okay with you.”

Kevin giggled when he heard his tone and sat up in bed, shrugging.

“Hey, take it easy, man! I was only teasing you, no need to take it personally.” He switched the light on and Ryan blinked. “So, when am I gonna meet your precious Valerie?”

“Um… never, I think.”

Kevin laughed and shook his head, amused by the conversation.

“Why, are you scared she’d fall for me? I know I’m quite a magnet for girls, but don’t worry – I would never steal a friend’s girl. It’s against the rules.”

“She’s not my girl!” Ryan snapped. “How many times do I have to tell you?”