The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (14 page)

She said this lethargically as she rested her head on her desk and stared out the window.

“Even I get in the mood for that stuff every now and then. I am a healthy young girl, after all. My body has its urges. But you know, I’m not stupid enough to let a momentary slip-up leave me saddled with a huge burden. Besides, if I start shopping around for guys, what will happen to the SOS Brigade? I just made it.”

Technically, you haven’t made it yet.

“You could turn it into some random club that just fools around. You’ll get people to join that way.”

“No way!”

A curt rejection.

“I made the SOS Brigade because that sort of club wouldn’t be any fun. I even recruited an alluring mascot and a mysterious transfer student. Why doesn’t anything exciting happen?! Ahh, I need to know if anything crazy is going to happen!”

It was the first time I’d ever seen Haruhi look so defeated, but her crestfallen face was surprisingly cute. She doesn’t even need to smile. As long as she has an ordinary expression on her face, she’s pretty attractive. Really, it’s such a waste.

Afterward, Haruhi spent the majority of morning classes sound asleep. It’s a miracle she wasn’t caught by any teachers. No, it was just coincidence. Yeah.

However, at the time, some trouble had begun brewing mysteriously in the shadows. It wasn’t quite full-blown, so nobody noticed it starting or ending. But at least, as of morning homeroom, it was the only thing I could think about.

Actually, as I was talking to Haruhi that morning, I had a pending issue on my mind. That pending issue would be the note I found in my locker that morning.

There I found…
AFTER SCHOOL WHEN EVERYONE’S GONE, COME TO CLASSROOM 1-5
…. in what was obviously a girl’s handwriting.

How to interpret this? I had to round up the personalities in my head and hold a conference. Number one was saying,
Something like this has happened before.
But the handwriting was clearly different from Nagato’s lettering on the bookmark. The self-proclaimed pseudo-alien had handwriting that was crisp like it was typed. The writing on the note pretty much had high school girl stamped all over it. Besides, Nagato probably wouldn’t employ a method as direct as placing a message in my locker.

And so, number two said,
Could it be Asahina?
I also doubted that. I couldn’t see her using some ripped-out scrap of paper to call me out without setting a specific time. That’s right. Asahina would use an envelope and proper writing stationery. And specifying 1-5, my classroom, as the location would be odd.

Number three went,
What about Haruhi?
Even less likely. She’d just drag me up the stairs to the landing to talk again like that other time. Koizumi was out for similar reasons.

Number four finally said,
Then it’s a love letter from some unknown person.
Setting aside the issue of whether or not this was a love letter, it was certainly a piece of correspondence requesting my presence. Though it wasn’t necessarily from a girl. Don’t let it get to your head. It could just be Taniguchi or Kunikida pulling a prank on me. Indeed. That was the most feasible possibility. This definitely had the markings of a bad joke by that idiot Taniguchi. But if that was the case, I would have expected something more elaborate.

During this sequence of thinking, I paraded around the school interior for no real reason. Haruhi had gone home because she wasn’t feeling well. I suppose that was convenient for me.

I made a brief stop in the club room first. If I went back to the classroom too soon, I’d probably get sick of waiting in an empty room for some unknown person. And while I was waiting, Taniguchi might show up saying, “Yo. How long were you waiting? If that little scrap of paper was enough to make you come running, you’re pretty naive. Gyahaha.” That would be even more aggravating. I’d kill some time, hop over to the classroom, take a peek, make sure no one was there, then head on home. Yeah, the perfect plan.

As I walked along, nodding to myself, I reached the club room. I remembered to knock.

“Yes, come in.”

After confirming Asahina’s permission, I opened the door. No matter how many times I saw Asahina in her maid outfit, she was still the picture of loveliness.

“You were late today. Where’s Suzumiya?”

The sight of Asahina brewing tea is quite becoming.

“She went home. Seemed like she was tired. Now’s your chance to counterattack. She’s weakened right now.”

“I wouldn’t do anything like that!”

With Nagato engrossed in reading, sitting in the background, the two of us drank our tea across from one another. It felt like we were back to being an aimless not quite student association.

“Koizumi hasn’t come yet?”

“Koizumi showed up earlier, but he said that he had to go to work, so he left.”

And what kind of work would that be? Well, at least it looks like the person who sent the letter isn’t one of the two other people in this room.

Having nothing else to do, Asahina and I exchanged scattered bits of conversation as we played Othello. After I racked up three wins, we went on the Internet and surfed around news sites until Nagato closed her book with a thump. That had become the signal for us to get ready to go home. I seriously had no idea what the club was doing anymore.

Asahina said, “I’m going to change, so you can go home first.” So I took Asahina up on her offer and hightailed it out of the club room.

My watch said it was around 5:30. There shouldn’t be anyone left in the classroom.

Even Taniguchi would have gotten sick of waiting and gone home by this point. Regardless, I raced up the stairs past the second floor, heading for the top floor. There’s always a slim chance of something happening there. Right?

I took a deep breath as I stood in the empty hallway. The windows were made of frosted glass so I couldn’t see inside. All I could see was that the sunset has stained the room orange. I slid open the door to 1-5 nonchalantly.

I wasn’t particularly surprised by the fact that someone was inside, but truth be told, I was considerably astonished when I saw the person standing there. Someone completely unexpected stood before the blackboard.

“You’re late.”

Ryoko Asakura smiled at me.

With a flick of her long, clean hair, she stepped away from the podium. My eyes were particularly drawn to her slender, creamy legs and the white socks extending from below her pleated skirt.

After walking halfway across the room, Asakura, still smiling, turned and beckoned to me.

“Why don’t you come in?”

I had been frozen with my hand still on the door. Seeing her motion in my direction, I walked towards her.

“It’s you, huh?”

“Yes. Didn’t expect me, did you?”

Asakura smiled without a care. The right side of her body was tinted red from the setting sun.

“What do you want with me?”

I purposely asked this in a blunt manner. Asakura chuckled before replying.

“There is something I need you for. I want to ask you something.”

Asakura’s pale face appeared directly in front of me.

“You know, humans always say, ‘It’s better to regret something you did than to regret something you didn’t do.’ What’s your opinion on that?”

“I don’t know about it being a common saying, but it probably means what it says.”

“Then, hypothetically speaking, if there were a situation where maintaining the status quo would only make things worse, but nobody knew what course of action would improve circumstances, what would you do?”

“Come again? Are you talking about the Japanese economy?”

Asakura, still smiling, ignored my question.

“Wouldn’t you think that change, any change at all, would be best for now? Nothing will improve the way things currently are.”

“Well, I guess that’s one way to look at it.”

“Right?”

Asakura, arms behind her back, leaned forward a bit.

“But you know, the higher-ups are all stick-in-the-muds who can’t keep up with sudden change. But I can’t afford such complacency out in the field. A lack of action would only allow the situation to grow worse. In that case, it should be OK for me to act on my own accord to assert changes, right?”

What is she trying to say? Is this a prank? I looked across the classroom, wondering if Taniguchi was hiding in the broom closet. The only other place to hide would be under the teacher’s desk.

“I’ve grown quite tired of observing a static subject. So…”

Busily glancing around, I didn’t really hear what Asakura was saying.

“I’ll kill you and see how Haruhi Suzumiya responds.”

There was no time to look confused. Asakura’s hand came from behind her back in a flash and a dull metallic light slashed through where my head had been a moment ago.

Asakura smiled like a cat being patted in someone’s lap. She held a knife in her right hand over her head. It looked like one of those frightening knives used by the military.

Dodging that first strike was pretty much luck. I was now helplessly sitting on the ground and looking up at Asakura with a dumb look on my face. If I let her get on top of me, I wouldn’t be able to escape. I hurriedly leaped up like a grasshopper.

For some reason, Asakura didn’t give chase.

… No, wait. What’s going on here? Why is Asakura trying to stab me with a knife? Hold on a sec. What did Asakura say? Kill me? Why? For what reason?

“Stop joking around.”

I was only able to say clichéd phrases in this situation.

“That’s really dangerous! A fake knife would be enough to scare anyone, so stop!”

I have no idea what’s going on anymore. If somebody does, come here and fill me in.

“You think that this is a joke?”

Asakura asked this with a cheerful expression on her face. She looked anything but serious. Though I suppose a high school girl wielding a knife with a smile on her face is scary enough as it is. Come to think of it, I’m really scared right now.

“Hmm…”

Asakura tapped the dull edge of the knife against her shoulder.

“You don’t want to die? You don’t want to be killed? I really don’t understand the concept of death for organic life forms.”

This is a joke, right? It wouldn’t be too funny if it was serious though. Besides, I was finding this hard to believe. It’s not like she was some girl whose reputation I dragged through the mud or had some ugly break-up with. This was the diligent class president I’d barely ever talked to that was trying to slash me with a piece of military-grade cutlery. I couldn’t possibly believe she was serious.

However, if that knife was real, and I hadn’t made that timely dodge, I would definitely be lying in a pool of my own blood.

“I don’t get it. It’s not funny. Just put that dangerous thing down.”

She paused to think. “Sorry, that’s impossible.”

A picture of innocence, Asakura smiled the same smile she had when she was with the other girls in the classroom.

“Because I truly want you to die.”

She lowered the knife to waist level before charging toward me. Fast! But this time, I was ready. Before she made her move, I shot off at lightning speed to escape from the room—except I crashed into a wall.

?????

There was no door. There were no windows. The classroom wall facing the hallway had become something resembling a gray plaster wall.

Unbelievable.

“It’s no use.”

The voice drew closer behind me.

“This space is now under my data jurisdiction. Escape routes have been blocked. It was trivial to do. The structures on this planet can be altered with some slight tweaking to the data for molecular bonds. The classroom is now sealed. No one can enter or leave.”

I looked behind me. Even the sunset was gone. The windows facing the schoolyard had been replaced by a concrete wall. The florescent lights had turned on while I wasn’t paying attention and were shining hollow light across the desktops.

You’re kidding, right?

Asakura slowly walked toward me, her faint shadow trailing across the floor.

“Come on, just give up. The result will be the same in the end.”

“Who are you?”

I kept looking to make sure, but there was only wall to be seen. No sliding door that didn’t quite close. No frosted glass windows. Nothing at all. Or maybe the problem here was with my head.

I gradually wove through the desks, trying to put some distance between she and myself, but she continued to head straight for me. Desks flew out of her way as Asakura walked toward me unhindered. In contrast, every path I took was blocked by a mass of desks.

This cat and mouse game didn’t last long. I suddenly found myself cornered against the end of the classroom.

In that case…

I picked up a chair and threw it as hard as I could. The chair changed directions right before it hit Asakura and flew to the side before landing. You’ve gotta be kidding me.

“It’s no use. Didn’t I tell you? Right now, everything in this classroom moves according to my will.”

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

What? What is this? If this wasn’t a joke, and neither Asakura nor I had gone crazy, then what was going on?