Authors: Trinity Marlow
"Come Alyssa. Now."
His rough command was all she needed, and her body shivered uncontrollably as she clenched around his fingers. He moved with her, massaging her inner walls to draw the pleasure out, and it was several minutes before she relaxed against the car, her legs barely holding their position.
"Sweetheart?" Mike's voice was gentle, soothing.
She tried to pick her head up, but it was too much work. "What?"
"You can move your arms now."
Alyssa felt her cheeks flame as she allowed her arms to fall to the sides. She'd been holding on to one wrist with the other hand, and her shoulders burned in protest at the sudden change in posture. She tried to push up off the car, but winced as her muscles refused to cooperate.
"Easy there." Mike's hands slid around her waist and pulled her up flush against his body. "I've got you." He swung her up into his arms, and she held on to his neck, closing her eyes and resting her head against his chest. She couldn't remember ever feeling so much pleasure and pain in one day as he carried her inside and up the stairs. Mike put her down on his bed for the second time and she didn't fight as he removed her clothes. Then he left for a minute and came back with a warm washcloth, gently stroking it over her well-used skin even as she squirmed under his touch.
"You really don't have to do that," she murmured, embarrassed to have him touch her so intimately even though she knew it made no sense.
"Yes I did." He tossed the cloth in a basket across the room and stripped down to join her on the bed, pulling a quilt up over them both as he spooned her back to his front. Cuddling her tight, he palmed one of her breasts possessively with his hand. "Did you know you were a submissive, Alyssa?" Strong fingers pinched her nipple into a taut peak, sending an electrical pulse racing between her legs.
She shook her head, consciously denying what she knew had to be the truth. "I...no. I can't be. I don't..." she blinked her eyes against the tears threatening to spill out. "I don't want to be a slave."
Mike released her nipple, massaging gently as he kissed her neck. "You're scared to lose yourself," he said, a statement rather than a question. She nodded, unable to articulate just how much the thought frightened her. She tried to roll away, to distance herself from his alluring touch, but he only tightened his grip. "Shh...it's okay. Just lay here for a minute, and listen." He rolled her to her back, bracing himself above her on one elbow as his other hand stroked the side of her face, and she closed her eyes.
"Being submissive doesn't mean you give up who you are. You don't have to give up working, or your friends, or the things that you love to do. It just means that you embrace another part of who you are. At least that's what it would mean here. With me."
She sniffled, opening her eyes to look into his intense stare. She could drown in the emotions reflected back at her. "But you'd tell me what to do. I'd have to...obey your commands, right?"
"That's right," he said, his fingers exploring her neck. "And sometimes I'll ask you to do things you're not comfortable with. But you'll learn to trust me. If not me, then it will be someone else. But this is who you are, Alyssa. You'll never be happy until you stop fighting it."
She turned her head to the side as his hand closed over her neck. He didn't squeeze, but instead of feeling claustrophobic, the position felt better than it should have. Comforting, even. He was asking her to give him her mind as well as her body, and on some level she wanted to. Desperately.
But she couldn't say the words. It was too much.
"Let me go, Mike. I need to go home."
* * *
Mike released her with a growl and rolled out of bed. He should have known better. This was what Alyssa needed, he knew it in his gut. But unlike others he'd met, he couldn't keep her any longer if she wasn't willing. There were legal issues to consider, aside from the fact that he just didn't want to deal with a woman hell-bent on escape simply because it hadn't been her choice to stay. Been there, done that.
"I'll fix your car tomorrow, and you're free to leave then," he said, zipping up his jeans. He reached for his shirt, avoiding those eyes that he knew would be glassy with unshed tears. "You can sleep here tonight. I'll be on the couch if you need me." He was almost out the door before she spoke.
"Mike, can't we just be together...like normal people?"
She was sitting up on the bed, clutching the covers to her chest as a tear made its way down her cheek. He shook his head. She didn't understand, and probably never would. "We aren't normal people, Alyssa. We need what we need. Get some sleep." He tried to block out the image of her forlorn expression as he walked away, determined to stay away from her from now on.
Restless, he glanced at the couch and then turned toward the door instead. Her car was parked under a good yard light. He'd take another tripod lamp out, and get to work. The sooner she left, the better, as far as he was concerned.
He'd been working for an hour or so when the scent of his own soap wafted to him on a light breeze. He straightened to watch her approach, wrapped up in his old terry cloth robe.
"I'm sorry," she said as she stopped several feet away. "I know you don't like me borrowing your stuff, but I didn't have anything else."
He bent over the engine, pretending to loosen a connection. "What do you want?" When she didn't answer, he set the wrench down and folded his arms over his chest. "Either tell me what you want, or go back in the house. I'm busy."
She flinched as if he'd hit her and it took almost super-human strength for him to stand firm and not offer an apology. He couldn't afford showing weakness now, and he sensed it would only add to her confusion anyway. Consistency was better, even if it hurt.
"I just...I'm trying to understand," she said, looking at the ground. "I've never experienced anything like this before. It's...intense." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked up at the sky. "When did you know?"
He leaned a hip against the car. "Know what?"
"That you were...that you needed...this," she said helplessly, tilting her head to study him.
"To dominate women?" She nodded, and he shrugged, pushing his hands into his pockets. "I lived on the east coast for awhile. A good friend recognized the signs, and showed me the lifestyle. As soon as I was in, I knew that's what I'd been missing all my life."
She nodded slightly. "Is that why you avoided me after your graduation? I didn't...wasn't good enough?"
He shook his head. "It wasn't you," he answered, knowing it wasn't the whole truth, but not wanting to cause her more pain. She didn’t need to know that she’d merely been a bet, and he’d won a wad of cash for sleeping with her. "That was a long time ago, Alyssa. I think it's safe to say we've both changed since then." He pushed away from the car and picked up the wrench. "You should get some sleep. You've got a long drive tomorrow."
"It doesn't feel right to be in there sleeping when you're out here working," she murmured, taking a step closer. "I never meant..."
He stood up and took two steps into her personal space, noting the waves of tension flowing off her. He reached back and grabbed her hair, using it to tug her head back as he had earlier. Fear burned in her eyes, but there was excitement too. If she'd only embrace it...
"It's not your decision," he said, using a low, gravelly tone. "Now go to bed, or I will punish you, and it won't be pleasant like the last time." Releasing her, he stepped away before he did anything stupid. Like kissing her senseless. Bent under the hood again, his heart sped up at her barely audible reply.
"Yes Sir."
The bell on the front door woke Alyssa the next morning. She blinked at the green paisley pattern on the back of the couch before rolling over, and nearly off the narrow couch. A man chuckled behind her, but it wasn't Mike. She sat up, holding the edges of his robe together over her chest and looked up at Evan.
"Rough night?" he asked, hands casually hooked on the pockets of his jeans. She nodded, and he glanced toward the door that led to the stairs and Mike's apartment. "Thought you'd be staying upstairs, the way Mike was talking yesterday."
She shook her head, uncomfortable with only the old robe as a barrier as appreciative eyes wandered over her. "I...we're just...it's not like that."
"Could've fooled me," he replied. "Too bad. We could use a woman around here. It's been a long time." He walked to the chest cooler in the corner and leaned in, bringing up two bottles of orange juice. Handing one to her, he sat down in a chair and took a long drink. "So what's the deal? You not into the whole submission thing?"
Alyssa nearly choked on her juice. "Um...you--" She couldn't finish the thought as his use of
we
finally sunk in.
He smiled wryly, shaking his head. "I know all about Mike's needs," he said, draining the last of his drink. "We share." He gave her a long, appraising look. "That makes you uncomfortable."
She nodded, not daring to attempt a response around the lump in her throat. Part of her wanted to laugh, since this was just the sort of scenario she'd read about in those books she kept hidden. But it didn't really happen in real life, did it?
"I know you probably don't want advice from me," he said, leaning forward to brace his elbows on his knees. "But I'm going to give you some anyways. You and Mike seem to have a good connection. And I don't think it's a secret that I'm attracted to you. We'd take good care of you, if you let us."
"I know," Alyssa replied, somehow believing it without any trouble at all. She stared at the bottle in her hand as she heard him rise. Black work boots appeared in her line of vision as he came closer. She looked up and he reached out to barely brush the side of her face with his fingers. "You could be happy here with us."
"She's made her choice, Evan."
She snapped her head around to see Mike standing in the doorway, watching them. Half expecting to see anger on his face, she was surprised to find only tired resignation. Her heart ached as Evan dropped his hand and shrugged. Disappointing these men was affecting her more than she would have imagined just two days ago. More than it should for a man she hadn't seen in years, and one she barely knew. It didn't make sense.
"I'll be in the shop," Evan said, squeezing Mike's shoulder as he went past. Mike had a plate in one hand, and he set it on the coffee table in front of her, putting her keys beside it. Scrambled eggs and toast. Alyssa appreciated the gesture, though she wasn't sure she'd be able to eat around the empty feeling in her stomach.
"Your car is fixed, so you can leave whenever you want. I put your suitcase in my bedroom, where I assumed you'd be last night." He sat beside her, his stare unnerving.
"Thank you," she said, taking the fork he handed her. His fingers brushed hers, and she tried to ignore the desire to throw herself into his arms. "I figured I might as well take the couch. Didn't seem right to kick you out of your own bed."
"I thought I made it clear that I wanted you there." He leaned back with a sigh. "It doesn't matter, I guess. I was wrong about you, and I'm sorry." He rose and ran a hand through his hair. "Take your time, and feel free to use the shower and phone if you need to before you go. I'll be out in the shop."
Then he was gone, and Alyssa set the fork down. Fingering her keys, she allowed herself to think about what it would be like to stay. Just to try it out for awhile. Would they let her leave later if she wanted to? Would she regret it if she drove away and never looked back?
Leaving the keys beside her untouched plate, she went upstairs and turned on the shower, hoping the warm spray would provide clarity.
* * *