The McKinnon (43 page)

It had become her mantra.

Reagan sat in silence. Closing her eyes and shaking her head, she was afraid of Nic’s reaction. This was a world of constant violence. He was a good man, but that did not mean he would not embrace that same violence given the right circumstance.

“Excuse my French, Morgan, but do you realize the shit that is going to hit the fan over this?”

“French?” Morgan asked confused.

“Never mind,” Reagan said waiving the question off. Presently, there were more important problems that needed to be addressed.

“Morgan you made a promise to go with David.”

“I did not,” Morgan said defensively. “I never promised him I would go with David. I just said that I would not ask him to let me come.”

Reagan knew this was not a good situation.

“It’s a freaking technicality, Morgan! Nic will not buy that and neither do I." Reagan's mind was racing. She had to think. "Well, you're here. He will just have to deal with it.”

Reagan wondered if this would alter his plans when they discovered Morgan. She shook her head. “We had better tell him before he finds out with a crowd looking on. He is going to be furious.”

“I’m afraid you may be right. Can you stick your head out and ask him to come to the coach? God, I’m dreading this.”

“Well, you should be, Morgan. It may not be very pleasant, but I will do what I can to run interference for you.”

Reagan stuck her head out the small opening and saw Cullen. “Cullen, can you get Nic for me? Morgan needs to speak to him.”

Morgan reached and grabbed Reagan by the skirt then pulled her back into the coach. “What did you say that for?” she hissed quietly.

Before she could answer, Nic was at the carriage. Reagan opened the door for him and the early morning light streamed in. Wearily, he took a seat. He was exhausted from the night of constant movement. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the still- darkened interior. Reagan drew his attention.

“Now, Nic," she started slowly and cautiously. "I would caution you that we are still not out of danger of being discovered or overtaken. So, I would ask you try to understand and hold your peace.”

“Hold my peace about what?” Nic was perplexed at the direction the conversation was going until he looked down at the hand on his thigh. He followed the line up the arm to look into the eyes of his wife.

“I had to be here, Nic. You will need me. I had to be here.”

Morgan also pleaded with her eyes for forgiveness.

Nic stiffened and removed her hand from his leg then squeezed her fingers to the point of pain. “Deceitful bitch.”

He was angry and he stiffly got out of the carriage without a backward glance.

“Well, now, wasn't that pleasant?” Reagan's sarcasm was clear and she was not sure what was going to happen next, but she did know Nic’s angry words torn Morgan apart.

“What have I done? Oh, God, Reagan, what have I done?” Morgan sat there stunned at Nic’s reaction and the door she felt slam between them.

“You did exactly what you felt you needed to do. Do not look back, Morgan. It serves no purpose. Now, come on. Let’s stretch our legs while we have the opportunity.”

She reached over and covered Morgan’s head with the hood of her cloak, not wanting to let anyone else see her before Nic had an opportunity to break the news as he saw fit. 

"Come on." Reagan pulled Morgan out into the early morning light. 

Reagan left them to find food, and Morgan wondered into the woods. She had not gone far until she heard footsteps behind her. Not knowing whom it could be, she hid behind a large tree, crouching down making her self as small as possible.

“Get up!”

It was Nic. “Nic, I-” Morgan was desperate to explain.

“Shut up! Just shut your lying, deceitful mouth." He walked over to her and when she stood, he took her by the shoulders and shook her. "I don’t want to hear it. However, since you are here and there is nothing I can do about it, I might as well get some use out of you.”

His grasp hurt, but she dare not make a sound.

“If you wanted to be a camp follower then you had better be prepared for it.” He crushed her to him and began to kiss her harshly. There was nothing tender in his embrace. Morgan began to fight him off as best she could. But her defense was was futile, considering his size and his anger making him that much stronger. She never made a sound. Pushing against him with no effect, she was truly afraid. She was afraid of the man he had become because of her.

“No! Nic, please! Not like this. No, never like this.”

Her words got through to him. He abruptly released her and pushed her away. She fell backwards onto the ground. Placing a hand over her bruised mouth, she refused to cry. Their eyes met and Nic stared at her with a look of disgust clearly marked on his handsome face.

He walked away feeling upset with himself and what he had so nearly done to the one woman he loved most in this world.

She saw how he felt and it cut her to the quick.

He hates me, Morgan thought, but she was resolved. She had done what she felt was right. Nic was angry with her well beyond anything she thought possible. Well, he would just have to resign himself to the fact she was standing by her decision.

Nic walked out of the woods straight to Reagan who was standing next to the coach talking to Cullen.

“Reagan, go to her.” He delivered his command and walked away.

Cullen knew Nic was violently angry. “Go to who?” he asked as he turned to Reagan.

“Morgan,” Reagan replied.

“You mean the decoy,” Cullen asked confused.

“No. I mean Morgan. She didn’t go with David,” Reagan explained, matter of factly.

“Oh, shit,” Cullen said softly under his breath.

“Yep, I would say that just about sums it up.” Reagan turned to go find her charge.

Nic, Connor, and Cullen talked by the carriage about the development and their plans as the two women emerged from the woods. Nic was standing facing their direction, arms over his broad chest. He stopped in mid-sentence, looked at Morgan, and walked away. The cut he gave her went deep and straight to the quick. Morgan refused to hang her head. She walked back to the carriage, shattering into a thousand small pieces. He would never understand what she felt about him.

Connor raised an eyebrow at Reagan. "Hey," she said, "don't look at me like that. I had nothing to do with this.” Reagan knew that was Connor’s unspoken question.

“I find that hard to believe.” Conner had unconsciously taken hold of Reagan’s arm. She pulled her arm back from his hold. The quick move threw her off balance and she began to fall, but Connor stepped forward, wrapping her in his arms.

“Oh, just bite me,” Reagan said, weakly fighting to free herself and having no success.

“You would like that, I think,” Connor purred the reply. He was finally beginning to understand her. She was prickly as a means of defense. He no longer took it personally. He had finally found the chink in her armor, and any soldier worth his weight would never let an advantage go unpressed and push her, he would. She continued to struggle in his arms.

"I would rather kiss a pig than have your mouth on me.” Her statement had no effect on Connor’s grip around her waist.

Slowly, he began to slide his hand up her back. As he gazed down into her cinnamon eyes, he realized she had gone soft and deadly still in his arms.

“Either of those choices, M'Lady, can be arranged. You have but to ask yourself which is the lesser of the evils.” He was only inches from her mouth, his warm breath spilling across her lips. He was going to kiss her, and she knew if he did, it would complicate things beyond belief.

“Let me go. Please, just let me go,” she whispered breathlessly.

“As you wish.” Connor hesitated to grant her request, but stepped away and released her. He was now looking at Nic and Cullen, knowing trouble was brewing between them.

“Nic, I want a word with you,” Cullen demanded.

Nic wheeled on his brother with his finger in his face. “Not one word out of you. Not a single, fucking word!”

A wiser man or a lesser man would have left it alone. Cullen was neither where Morgan was concerned.

“Did you hurt her? If you did, so help me Nic, I will kill you.” Cullen was angry.

Unconsciously, Cullen had placed his hand on the hilt of his sword. The action was noticed by Connor who was close should the need arise to separate the brothers. The other men were beginning to take notice, as well. It was rare to see these two at odds.

“Don’t threaten me, little brother. This is no concern of yours. So, don’t make it so.” Nic turned and began to walk away from Cullen.

Cullen was having nothing of it. He placed his hand on Nic’s shoulder to turn him back around. “Don’t walk away from me, Nic.”

Nic stopped, ridged with anger. Slowly, he turned to face his wife’s champion just a breath from striking point. Connor recognized it. Cullen sensed it. Years of discipline were the only thing holding Nic together.

“Cullen, I will say this only once, so you had better listen well and heed my words. She is
my
wife, mine, not yours. She is not yours and never will be. She is mine to deal with as I see fit. So back off!” Nic tossed Cullen’s hand off his shoulder.

“No, Nic, not this time. Did you hurt her? Answer me!”

Nic glared at his brother. “You and she had both better be thankful I don't have her pretty heart-shaped ass bared for the sound thrashing she so richly deserves. Were she one of my men, I would have already punished her.” Turning to Connor, Nic added, “And as fair warning to you, Connor… I will include Reagan in there, too, if I find out she is in on the disobedience of my wife.”

Nic’s comment took Connor by surprise. However, he managed to keep his astonishment from registering. Surely, Nic did not think he would care one way or the other if he punished Reagan for any part she might have played in this disaster.

He did not care if Nic punished her.

Or did he? There was not enough time to go any deeper into the question.

Connor felt honestly that Reagan did not condone Morgan's deception. “If she is guilty you will receive no resistance from me, but I think you will find she is innocent in this action.”

“Well, now. That remains to be seen, doesn’t it? And of your question, Brother, did I hurt her? Not yet. Have I scared her? Probably. Hell, I scare myself with the violence I want to do to her right this moment. How could she do this? After all the times I asked her to go with David, she still ends up here? And for Christ’s sake where are my children and who is taking care of them? Damn her! She is their mother and she leaves them. What kind of woman does something like that? I thought I knew her. Has she lost her mind?” Nic was rapid-firing the questions to Cullen, not expecting any answers.

“Nic, lower your voice for Christ’s sake. She might hear you. It would kill her to hear you talk like this. And no, she hasn’t lost her mind. She is afraid of losing you, you big, dumb bastard. Why haven't you figured that out? You were not with her all those months. I was. You didn't see how the separation affected her. I did. I was the one who saw what it did to her. Not knowing what happened to you. I know exactly what is driving her. That is why I need to talk to you. I have to make you understand why she felt she had to be here.”

“Go away, Cullen. In fact both of you just leave me the hell alone. I’m in no mood, Connor, to hear you say Reagan is innocent, or for Cullen to give me the reasons my wife directly disobeyed me. If there is any explaining to do, Morgan will do it herself. Or have you now taken up her causes and become her mouthpiece?”

Both men were calmer, but still not settled.

Cullen was not taking the bait. “I’m not going to go there, Nic. If you will not listen to me at least give her the benefit of the doubt and a chance to explain.”

“Oh, don’t you worry, I will. Just as soon as I can look at her and not feel the driving urge to choke her.” Nic rarely got angry. “Connor, tell Reagan to keep my woman away from me and out of my way. I will deal with my disobedient wife when I’m damn good and ready.”

Cullen let Nic walk away this time, satisfied he was not going to do Morgan any lasting harm. He could see both sides of the argument. It still did not make it any easier for him. Morgan was Nic’s wife to discipline as he saw fit. Cullen hoped Nic would come to his senses, and that it would not come down to physical punishment. Morgan had already experienced enough of that to last her a lifetime.

They stopped and made camp just an hour from the estate. Nic had wisely stayed away from Morgan for the last two days of the trip to Seabridge. She was in agony emotionally and physically. Mentally she was a wreck. Coming back to the place of her torment and imprisonment was proving to be a disaster in her current emotional condition. Reagan was fearful for Morgan on several levels. She was afraid if Nic did not talk to Morgan soon and begin to mend the rift then her state would continue to degenerate.

“Morgan, you need to eat. You're dehydrated, your color is off, and you haven’t been sleeping.”

“I’m not hungry.” Morgan pushed the food aside.

“It doesn’t matter if you feel hungry or not. You still need to eat. As your doctor, I am insisting you eat. You haven’t eaten enough for two days to keep a bird alive." Reagan recognized the signs of deep depression. It was in her training to see such things. Morgan was displaying all the classic signs: Lack of appetite, listlessness, edginess, and anger.

“Why can he not open his eyes and see I can help him? The man is driving me crazy!”

“So, I see.” Reagan had tried to remain neutral. At least Morgan was not tucking into a shell of retreat. That was a good sign.

“Oh, Reagan, I really miss my children. I had not considered the full extent I would miss them. However, I know I will see then soon. I’m more worried about Nic. I feel like I am losing him. I have requested he speak to me and he keeps denying that request. He says he is busy formulating a new plan of attack and directing his men. I think it is a crock of crap, personally. If this is his way of punishing me then it is working.” Morgan paced the tent in frustration.