The Maze (ATCOM) (18 page)

“Talk
to me, Kincaid. Tell me more about your brother,” she said, sounding more like
a plea than a request.

“Camron
is a year older than me though we could pass for twins.” There was a smile in
Noah’s voice when he spoke. “He’s dedicated to his career on the FBI Hostage
Rescue Team.”

As
he spoke, the needle pierced her skin and the second stitch was in. Attie
closed her eyes and focused on remaining upright as Noah pulled the skin
together. It burned and stung and she had to bite her lip to keep from crying
out.

“Are
you close?” she asked.

“We
are now. As kids we fought like cats and dogs. I always wanted to do what
Camron was doing and he always had to take me along. I drove him crazy. We
manage to get together when we can, which isn’t very often given our careers,
but we talk on the phone or by email quite often.”

Attie
felt herself drifting to the low rumble of Noah’s voice. She liked hearing him
talk, always had. His voice was rich and low and steady. He could drone on for
hours and she’d never get tired of hearing him.

“What
about your parents?”

“They
were killed in a boating accident ten years ago.”

“Sorry.”

“Thanks.
As I told you, Dad was career Navy and Mom stayed home to take care of us,
which was a full time job. Camron and I got into our share of trouble over the
years, nothing serious, just mischief that left her with a few gray hairs. She
was great.”

Attie
heard the warmth in his voice and a smile touched her lips. She hadn’t thought
The Rock was close to anyone. He always kept himself at a distance, standing on
the outside and watching everything that went on around him, never really
getting involved in matters of the heart. That’s what Saint Gabriel was for.

“My
parents were killed when I was eight.” She gasped as the needle pierced her
skin again and pulled it taut. “Uncle Jed did a good job raising me and
Brendan. But you already knew that.” Her mind was getting sluggish.

“That
was the last one,” he said, cutting the thread.

She
started to rise but he stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. “Not so fast. I
have to clean you up and apply a dressing. Two minutes.”

Easier
said than done. Her head swam, her body hurt. All she wanted to do was crawl
into bed and forget about the pain. Body and soul.

“Hurry
up,” she said, sitting back down.

“Patience,
Attie. Here, eat this while I finish up.”

He
handed her a sandwich over her shoulder and she took it. She wasn’t hungry, or
so she thought, until she bit into it. While Noah dressed her wound, she
polished off the sandwich and bottled water and felt a little better afterward.

“Finished,”
he said.

“Good.
Goodnight.”

Again,
he prevented her from standing up. This time he came around and hunkered in
front of her. He peered at her with those damned sexy blue eyes that held her
captive every time she stared too long.

“What
now?”

“Are
you okay?” he asked softly, his hand coming up to cup her cheek.

Oh
no, not this. She could handle Noah the machine but not Noah the man, not right
now. She was weak, teetering on the edge of right and wrong and trying
desperately to hold on, but this concern, this tenderness, was more than she
could handle. It was easier to see him as a soldier and a machine.

“With
exception to the fact I’ve faced death more times than I care to count over the
past few days, been shocked, drowned, attacked by an anaconda and dropped
hundreds of feet on my ass, sure, I’m fine.”

His
thumb rubbed across her cheek in a whisper-soft caress. “That’s not what I
meant.”

She
knew what he meant and it weakened her resolve right along with his gorgeous
blue eyes and sexy bare chest. His shoulders were built for carrying the
burdens of the world. Did he ever tire of it? He was so big and strong and
capable that it made her chest hurt. What would it be like to hand her burdens
over to him? Let him carry them just for the night so she could sleep without
dreaming. She wanted to forget, even if for only a few hours.

“Look,
I’m tired, irritable, in pain and all I want to do is to go to bed. Would you
move?” she said, wishing he would do it before she did something they may both
regret. She just wasn’t feeling strong enough to fight her attraction for him.
Not when she’d sampled how soothing it was to be wrapped in his arms.

“Maybe
you should get dressed first,” he suggested huskily.

She
had completely forgotten about being in a towel and nothing else.

“Turn
your back and I will.”

If
she leaned forward she would be able to taste those lips and take what she
wanted. But she couldn’t, because once she crossed that line she would never be
able to return. She wasn’t ready for that.

“Go
take a shower, Kincaid, you smell,” she said, ignoring the little part of her
that liked the musky male scent of him.

“Be
back in ten.”

He
rose to his feet and strode into the bathroom.

She
hurried over to the bed, dressed in a clean pair of fatigues identical to the
ones she’d had on and slipped under the covers, laying on her stomach to ease
the pain in her shoulder. The last thing she heard was the shower turning on.

Chapter
17

Noah
came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped low on his hips and immediately
noticed Attie thrashing around in bed. She lay on her stomach with the sheets
tangled around her legs and waist. The bandage on her shoulder was pink with
fresh blood. Her hair tangled around her waist and her hands gripped her
pillow. She mumbled something in her sleep he couldn’t understand. Nightmare.
He’d hoped she was too tired to dream.

She
gasped for air, her hands going to her neck. The breath wheezed in and out of
her lungs and had Noah striding to the bed. He sat down beside her, fear
curling in his belly as he drew her into his arms and shook her. Her face was
white as a sheet and her lips were parted as she struggled to breathe.

“Breathe,
Attie,” he ordered when no sound came out of her mouth. “Damn it, breathe.”

Her
mouth opened and she drew in a large, gulping breath. Her eyes flew open as she
drew in large, gasping breaths. She stared at him with tormented eyes that made
his chest tighten. God, he hated this. Hated seeing her like this. She had been
through more in the past year than most had in a lifetime. It wasn’t fair and
he wanted to erase it all, if only for a night. He wanted from the depths of
his soul for her to be able to sleep in peace and never have to look over her
shoulder for ghosts again.

“I
was dreaming,” she gasped, squeezing her eyes closed. “Carlos hurt Brendan…and
it was my fault…I couldn’t get to him…hate this…”

Noah
nodded and stroked her hair, tucking a strand behind her ear. He could feel her
trembling and tightened his hold so that she was tucked into his chest. He
offered her what he could in silence, allowing the decision to be hers.
Whatever she needed, he would give. He sensed the battle she fought, wanted to
charge in and slay her dragon.

“Brendan
is fine, Attie.”

“It’s
my fault he’s here.”

Noah
cupped her chin and lifted gently so she was forced to look at him. “No,” he
said firmly. “This is not your fault. Santiago did this. You’re the victim, not
the cause.”

“If
anything happens to him—”

“Nothing
is going to happen to him.”

He
could see she wanted to believe him, trust him, but something wouldn’t let her
do it. A thread of doubt dimmed those bright green eyes and he wanted to
eliminate it forever. Didn’t she know he would never do anything to hurt her?

“I
can’t lose him.”

“I
know.”

She
searched his eyes. For what, he didn’t know.

“I
don’t want to dream anymore tonight,” she murmured.

Noah
nodded slowly. Her arms came around his neck.

“Make
love to me, Noah. Just tonight, then let me go when it’s over.”

He
lowered his head and took her mouth in a gentle kiss. He let her know he would
give what she needed, on her terms. They shared a moment of silent
understanding, content with just a kiss until heat exploded between them and
things changed. The kiss became more demanding and full of promise. Until Attie
jumped off his lap to stand next to the bed, panting and flushed.

Though
he was disappointed, he wouldn’t push. She still had a lot of things to work
through and sleeping with him would only complicate them. He wanted her. Had
wanted her since the first day of class when she’d grilled him with intelligent
questions and challenged his antics. Her bold attitude and militant expression
had intrigued him and she hadn’t stopped since.

“I
need your word on something before we do this,” she said quietly and with a
thread of…fear?

“You
have it.”

With
slow, deliberate movements, she began undressing. His groin tightened. He’d
been wrong. She wasn’t changing her mind; she was setting the rules. She slipped
the tank top over her head with a grimace, but held up a hand to prevent him
from assisting her.

He
dropped back down on the bed and simply watched.

Next,
she removed her pants and kicked them aside. His mouth went dry at the sight of
the red thong. Attie stripped to her underwear was enough to fill his wildest
dreams, but Attie naked was extraordinary.

With
her chin tilted high she said, “I want you to promise me that you won’t ask me
about what you see.”

Noah
let his eyes wander from her tousled hair to her toes, then back up again, and
went impossibly hard. She was gorgeous. Tall, slender and muscular in a very
feminine way. She was perfect. He wanted to touch every single inch of her.

He
wasn’t a fool. He knew what she didn’t want him to see. When he looked at her
he didn’t see scars, he saw a strong, beautiful woman with a will of iron. He
saw a woman he respected and wanted more than his next breath.

“You
have my word,” he said.

He
saw the vulnerability in her eyes the second the words left his mouth. She
tried to hide it but he saw what she didn’t want him to. He saw her fear of
rejection, the insecurity of what he would think of how she looked. He had
never seen this side of Attie and it made him want to stroke it away until even
she forgot her fears. He saw the truth, that she thought she was less a woman
because of the scars, but to him he saw more of a woman. A woman who had
survived. By the end of the night he was going to make her see herself through
his eyes.

Slowly,
he stood and let his towel drop to the floor, watching Attie watch him. She
didn’t shy away when she saw how aroused he was, but she did look a little
surprised. She really didn’t know what she did to him.

He
reached out and stroked her hair. “I love your hair,” he said, twining a strand
around his finger. “It’s soft and alive with color. I’ve imagined it brushing
across my chest.”

She
swallowed hard. She’d been planning on a quick roll in the sack without emotion
or tenderness, but he had different plans. He was a man of rock solid patience;
he could wait to have her. He’d waited this long. This was about Attie. About
discovery. And healing.

He
let his other hand trace her bottom lip and watched her lips part on an indrawn
breath. “Your lips were made for kissing. I like the way they tilt, very
sensual. I’ve had a few dreams about those lips too,” he said with a slow grin
when she glared at him without real anger. She wouldn’t admit it, but she was
off balance by what he was doing.

That’s
where he wanted to keep her. Off balance and not thinking about the past or the
present. He lifted her hair off her shoulders and tucked it behind her so he
could see all of her. Her hair was long enough to reach her waist and hid too
much of her. He was going to drink her in. Slowly, like a man thirsting for
every precious drop.

His
hands drifted over her shoulders to her breasts, gently tracing a scar left
from her imprisonment. Noah kept his anger at bay, quickly tamping it down so
Attie wouldn’t see how the injustices done to her made him feel. When he cupped
her breasts in his hands, she sighed softly.

“You’re
perfect,” he murmured, rubbing the pads of his thumbs over the hardened
nipples. They budded under his touch. Attie let out a long, agonized sigh.
Unable to stop himself, he dipped his head and took a nipple into his mouth and
suckled gently. Her hands burrowed into his hair and held him in place as he
feasted on one and then the other, loving the taste and scent of her. She
responded by arching her back and moving restlessly against him, silently
begging for more.

When
her breath hitched he dropped to his knees in front of her and planted his
hands on her waist while he trailed kisses down her navel. Her skin was rough
in places and soft in others. An erotic mix that had his heart racing and his
body straining to dive into her softness and take his fill. But he didn’t. Not
yet. He had a high pain tolerance—he could hold out for a very, very long time.

Attie’s
breath quickened when his tongue dipped inside her belly button. She arched her
hips. He had to hold tighter to her waist to keep her in place, and held her up
at the same time her knees threatened to buckle.

He
moved lower and buried his nose in the red curls at the apex of her thighs. “A
true redhead,” he murmured and dipped lower. Her legs buckled when he flicked
his tongue across her folds and tasted her. She writhed against his mouth and
gripped his shoulders as he brought her to the brink with his tongue. He wanted
her to come for him like this before he took her to bed and pleasured her
again.

“Noah…”
She moaned as her nails dug into his shoulders. She was close but fighting it,
unwilling to trust herself to him. He could feel her hesitation and her
frustration that he could so easily take down her walls.

“Let
go for me, Attie,” he said, sliding a finger inside her.

She
gasped, bucked and fell. Her body convulsed as she shattered. He indulged in
her essence until she slumped against him. Lifting his head so he could look at
her, he grinned and said, “That was only the beginning of what I’m going to do
to you tonight. When you dream it’s going to be about me.”

Her
eyes widened then darkened as his words sank in. She hadn’t expected this and
he could see the anticipation lurking there. She wasn’t going to stop him.

He
lifted her into his arms, carried her to the bed, laid her in the center and
started all over, only this time he worked his way up from her toes. When she
came again he was in more physical pain than he had ever known. If he didn’t
have her soon he was going to explode. But still he waited. He would withstand
this until all of her defenses were down and she belonged to him. He was a very
patient man.

* * * *

Attie
was in heaven. Noah Kincaid made love like he did everything else in life:
thoroughly and with total control. He put everything into it and demanded the
same from her. He kissed her scars. That simple act touched her heart where she
wasn’t prepared for it to be touched.

Somewhere
along the line, Noah had slipped past her defenses and imbedded himself deep
inside her where no one was supposed to be. That place had kept Carlos from
breaking her during those months she spent undercover and in his prison. And
now with a few simple, selfless acts and kind words Noah had found it and dug
in so deep she was afraid he’d be there forever.

She
lay in the center of the bed quivering and sated from what he’d just done to
her a second time that night, without finding pleasure himself. He gave, but he
took nothing. Never had a man focused so much attention on her. It made her
uncomfortable at the same time she craved the attention. He made her feel
cherished and desirable.

She
knew she would get nothing but brutal honesty from Noah, and was flattered that
he enjoyed making love to her. He didn’t care that she was scarred. That only imbedded
him deeper. He wasn’t doing this because he felt sorry for her; he wanted to do
it and had proven it twice now. Elation and relief filled a void inside her.
Suddenly she wanted him to share in the pleasure.

“Again?”
Noah asked with a wolfish grin from where he rested beside her.

“Not
me. You,” she said slipping a leg over his and rising to her knees beside him.
“On your back, sailor.”

“Yes,
ma’am.”

He
complied and rolled onto his back so that he was hers to do with whatever she
pleased. She allowed herself the luxury of studying his perfect male form for a
minute, taking in his long length, muscular contours and male solidness. She’d
been so long without a man she’d forgotten what it was like to just sit back
and enjoy the beauty of a male. Noah was perfect. Battle-scarred and strong.
Heavily muscled and virile. She wanted to touch every inch of him to
familiarize herself with the way he felt.

Moving
on top of him so that she straddled his hips, she leaned down and traced his
bottom lip with her tongue, marveling in its fullness. He had nice lips,
sensual and sculpted. And he knew how to use them, she could attest to that.
She sucked his lip into her mouth and let go to lave it with her tongue. He
grinned and she smiled in return. She couldn’t remember ever having this much
fun while making love. She certainly had never taken it so slow and found it
very stimulating.

She
kissed him, not allowing him to take control. When he tried to grab her hips,
she bit his lip and pushed his hands into the mattress with a shake of her
head. Frustration flared in his eyes but he obeyed, fisting his hands at his
sides. Attie smiled and planted tiny kisses on the pulse throbbing steadily in
his neck. She nibbled the cords running to his collarbone and again he tried to
take control.

She
guided his hands above his head and wrapped his fingers around the bedpost.
“Stay,” she ordered and lowered herself to his chest, scooting down and
bringing them into perfect position. He surged toward her but she evaded and
shook her head as she drew a nipple into her mouth. Noah groaned and shook the
bed with his hands that didn’t leave their position on the bedposts.

Attie
felt herself getting ready for him, his show of male frustration almost her
undoing. She tasted his need and sensed his power as she made her way to the
other nipple and then down his rippled abs. Unleashed power lurked below the
surface and she was getting wet thinking about him unleashing that power inside
her.