The Man in Possession (19 page)

‘
No?
It could be. And I
’
m not guessing entirely. I was talking to Celia for about a couple of hours last night while you and dear Roger were rescuing the cruiser, and she told me quite a lot—in a roundabout way. They had an unholy row back in London, but they
’
re rapidly becoming reconciled. He wants her to come and live here, of course, that
’
s why he
’
s having the house done up. But she prefers London and she
’
s hoping to lure him back there.
’

Julia made no answer. What was there she could say? Max was only confirming what she already felt certain of in her own mind, at least with regard to the way Roger felt about Celia. But Max went on talking.

‘Of course, if she succeeds—and I
’
m sure she will because a woman usually gets her own way in the end if a man loves her—then that
’
s where you
’
ll come in.
’

‘I?’
she asked sharply.

She put two plates of ham and salad on the table, then sat down and pushed the plate of brown bread and butter towards him.

Max looked at her for a few minutes, then said emphatically:
‘
Yes, you. Or have you changed your mind completely about wanting this place?
’

Julia did not answer immediately. Was it possible that ownership of the boatyard had once meant so much to her? She had been so sure that Roger had settled down here, that Celia would join him here when they were married. She had not thought of the possibility of Celia persuading him back to London. I
f
it did happen, would she want to make him an offer to stay on, after all? She shook her head vigorously, feeling dangerously near to tears.

‘No. No, I wouldn
’
t want to stay on now, whether Celia persuaded him or not.
’

‘You
’
ve quite made up your mind, then?
’
asked Max eyeing her keenly.

‘Max, I
’
ve told you—
’
she burst out raggedly. ‘Just as soon as I reasonably can, I
’
m going back home. And now, if you don
’
t mind, I
’
d rather not talk about it any more.
’

Max shrugged and began to eat.
‘
You
do get yourself het up about things, don
’
t you? Maybe you would be happier
“
down on the farm
”
at that.
’

Again Julia made no reply. Max had no id
ea how she
felt about Roger. He had made tentative guesses, but how could she explain to anyone, even if she wanted to, the depth of her feelings? If he had even the smallest conception he would not speak that way—as if she were ‘het up ‘about nothing. Was it nothing to be in love with a man and watch him with another woman? It was going to be difficult enough to forget him with a hundred miles or so between them, but here, at the boatyard, she would be for ever reminded. It was odd that she had not
wanted
to forget David, but though she loved Roger far more deeply she felt the memory of him would always be more of a pain than a joy.

Max asked her how the building of the first of the new auxiliaries was getting on, and she told him that a good start had been made.

‘Everything going according to plan—or in this case design?
’

‘
Yes, of course. Why shouldn
’
t
it?’
she asked sharply.

‘I
’
m only asking out of interest,
’
he protested at her tone.
‘
I don
’
t know what
’
s come over you these days, Ju
li
a.
’

She felt ashamed. There really was no reason why she should let her unhappiness spill over on to Max.

‘
I
’
m
sorry. I
’
m afraid things are getting me down a little. Let
’
s have some music, shall
we?’

She put on a record and tried to ease the weight of depression, but long after she wished Max would go, he stayed on. She was so physically tired, she was almost dropping to sleep when the sound of a car was heard outside.

Max grinned. ‘Your lodger, I expect. I think I
’
d better go now. It
’
s late.
’

He stood up and so did Julia to see him off. Then to her surprise he suddenly pulled her towards him and before she could stop him he took her in his arms and kissed her firmly on the lips. For a moment she couldn
’
t move, he was h
o
lding her so tightly and so close to him.
Then the door opened and Celia stood there. Max laughed and let Julia go abruptly, and through the window she saw Roger turn away. He got into his car again and drove it towards his garage.

Celia gave an amused smile. ‘Well, well. Sorry I butted in. I didn
’
t realize—
’

‘It
’
s all right. I was just going,
’
Max said casually.
‘
‘
Night, Julia darling. Be seeing you.
‘
Night, Celia.
’
He was gone before Julia could say a word. The whole thing had happened so swiftly. She drew an angry breath.

‘Really, Max makes me so angry
!’
she exploded
.

Celia laughed. ‘I don
’
t see anything to be angry about. Max is a very attractive man.
Why
don
’
t you marry him? I feel sure he
’
s asked you.
’

‘I don
’
t happen to be in love with him,
’
Julia answered.

Celia continued to smile. ‘Pity. Still, you could do worse. I don
’
t know that it
’
s so necessary to be in love with the man you marry.
’

Julia stared at her. ‘How can you say such a thing? Aren
’
t you in love with—
’
She stopped short, suddenly realizing that she had very little to go on and that she was probably jumping to a great many conclusions about Roger and Celia.

But Celia took her up. ‘With Roger, you were going to say
?
Of course. But more important still is that
he
is crazy about
me.
’

Julia felt she would suffocate. She filled the kettle and set it on the cooker to boil.

‘
Why—is that more important?
’
she asked jerkily. ‘I would have thought your own feelings were the more important to
you.
’

Celia shook her head. ‘No, no. To be very much in love with a man makes a woman too vulnerable. The thing is to have a man who really is gone on you.
’

Julia was staggered. ‘You just
have
to be joking, Celia.
’

But Celia merely laughed. ‘I
want
Roger, make no mistake about that. And I mean to have him. As a matter of fact, he
’
s asked me to marry him, but I haven
’
t given him my answer yet.
’

‘
Why not?
’
Julia forced herself to ask.

‘To keep him guessing, of course. It
’
s good for a man.
’

Julia felt she could bear this kind of talk no longer. ‘Do you want a drink, Celia, or anything to eat?
’

Celia yawned. ‘No, thanks. I
’
ve had plenty to eat and drink all evening. I
’
m ready to go to bed now.
’
Julia was thankful at last to see the dividing door between Celia and herself, but tired as she was, she felt she would not be able to settle down to sleep without a little air. She slipped a jacket over her shoulders and went outside. The air was sweet and fresh. She stood for a moment to adjust her eyes to the darkness and took a few long breaths, expelling deeply as if the act would clear her heart and mind of the pain and agony of loving a man who was in love with someone else.

She walked towards the water, now black as the sky above. What was she going to do? To get right away from the scene was the obvious answer. But wouldn
’
t that be rather selfish? Roger had no idea how she felt and she could not possibly tell him. What earthly reason could she give him for leaving in the middle of the season? She couldn
’
t let him down just to spare her own feelings.

Suddenly she halted as she saw a shadow by the boathouse which was being used for the work on the new craft. Who could it possibly be at this hour?
Fra
nk
and his team were not working all night and no one was allowed in there except the workmen and Roger and .herself. She called out and her heart contracted violently as Roger himself answered.

‘
Julia?
’
he counter-questioned sharply.
‘
What on
₍
earth are you doing out here?
’
As he spoke he walked towards her and when he reached her side it was
apparent, even in the dim light from the stars and the houseboat some yards away, that he was displeased about something. Unhappy because Celia was making him wait for his answer? But at the moment he was waiting for her own.

‘I
’
m—just getting a breath of fresh air,
’
she told him. He turned and looked towards the black velvet of the river.

‘
Been cooped up all evening, have you?
’
he asked in a strange voice.

‘Well, yes. Max came, and I hadn
’
t eaten, so we had a meal together.
’

‘Very cosy, I must say.
’

His tone sent a swift stab of pain through her heart.
‘
You disapprove?
’

Through the window he had seen Max kissing her, of course, and doubtless thought they had spent the whole evening lovemaking.

‘It
’
s none of my business what you do when you
’
re not working for me,
’
he answered brusquely.

This was even worse. She almost burst into tears. She
wanted
what she did to be his business.

‘All the same,
’
he continued,
‘
I think it would be better if you could find somewhere else to live other than the boatyard. Couldn
’
t you find a flat
?’

He couldn
’
t have hurt her more if he had dealt her a physical blow. But now she was beyond tears. She rounded on him.

‘So you want to get rid of me, do you? Well, don
’
t worry,
Mr.
Leighton, you
’
ll soon be rid of me altogether. I was going to leave at the end of the season in any case, but in view of what happened tonight—
’

He grasped her by the shoulders. ‘I want to get rid of you? Don
’
t talk such nonsense. And why were you going to leave at the end of the season? Not because you
’
re going to marry that no-good Max Windham. That I would not believe.
’

‘
And why not?
’
she flashed back, hardly aware of what she was saying, aware only of his hands bruising
her shoulders.

‘Because you
’
re not in love with him, that
’
s why. You
’
re in love with a ghost, aren
’
t you? A ghost called David who—
’

She cried out and covered her face with her hands, unable to take any more from him and feeling as though her heart would break.

There was an exclamation from Roger. Unexpectedly, his arms came about her and he held her close to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

‘Julia, I
’
m sorry. I shouldn
’
t have said that. It—it just makes me mad to see that fellow around the place. I can
’
t stand him somehow, and—I
’
ve had one hell of a day, one way and another. Forgive me—please.
’

For a second or two nothing mattered except that—magically—she was in his arms, but the mention of his difficult day coupled with what Celia had told her brought her to a true realization of things. Her heart
torn
with pity for him and pain for herself, she pushed against him and freed herself.

‘
It
’
s—all right, I understand. There are times when I—don
’
t much like Max myself. At others, he
’
s bearable.
’
Pride prevented her from saying that almost any company is better than none when you
’
re lonely. ‘I can tell him not to come again, if you like,
’
she offered.

‘No, no.
’
He put his hand under her arm and led her towards the bank of the river. ‘You came out for some air and I picked a quarrel with you. I
’
m sorry. And please forget what I said about the houseboat. I should have learned by now to keep a better control over both my tongue and temper. Instead of saying things to you like I did I should have been thanking you for having Celia. It can
’
t have been easy for you.
’

Julia tried to reassure him without actually lying.
‘
I haven
’
t minded in the least,
’
she said. ‘I only hope she
’
s been comfortable and has enjoyed her stay.
’

‘I think she has, but she
’
s not a great lover of the country. She
’
s happier in the city where there are lots of shops and theatres, and plenty going on of the kind of thing she likes
.’

‘Will you—ever go back to London, do you think
?’
she ventured to ask, and held her breath for his reply.

He leaned against a willow and gazed out on to the water.
‘I
don
’
t know. As of this moment, I don
’
t want to. It depends on—so many things—or maybe only one.
’

There was a moment of silence. Julia was treasuring every moment of this time alone with him, this precious, quiet conversation, even though his mind
was
occupied with thoughts of Celia.

‘Some—decisions are hard to make,
’
she said. Then she added, wanting only his happiness and remembering Celia
’
s extraordinary ideas about love:
‘I
should think that if you find yourself
torn
two ways about a course of action, it
’
s best to wait until you
’
re absolutely
certain
you
’
re doing the right thing. It
’
s so easy to make the wrong decision by trying to make up your mind too
quickly
. It
’
s unsettling, I know, but—
’

He turned and smiled at her and her heart gave a small leap of pleasure.

‘
I think that
’
s very sound advice. I
’
ll take it.
’
He put a hand on her shoulder for good measure. ‘Maybe it
’
s the sort of advice you should follow for yourself too. And now I think you
’
d better go and get your beauty sleep. It
’
s getting chilly out here.
’