The Man in 3B (36 page)

I’d just made a quick trip to the liquor store, and when I returned to the building, I could hear the laughter and joking halfway down the block. Those damn cackling, conniving, low-life wenches on the stoop were half the reason I hadn’t been out of my apartment in over a week and a half. I swear their gossip seemed to be even more vicious than before the fire, especially now that they had my father’s arrest to talk about. It had gotten so bad they didn’t even bother to stop the conversation when they saw me on the corner. They didn’t care that I was hurting inside and trying to get through the day. I suppose they were all competing to take Nancy’s spot as queen bee now that she was no longer hanging out there with them.

When I got within a few feet of the stoop, they finally decided to show some common sense and stop talking, but they couldn’t have been more obvious about it. It was like the needle had been snatched off a record as every single voice came to a complete halt. Whatever they had been saying about me must have been pretty bad because not one of the hags could even make eye contact with me as I walked up the stairs. Since when had any of those broads ever been speechless?

Once inside the building, I could hear them start up again. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but I could imagine the hateful words, and that was bad enough. I didn’t know how much more of this I could take. It wasn’t like I had the money to move out of the building, and I couldn’t hide inside forever. Sooner or later I’d have to start going out again, and I wasn’t about to walk through that
gauntlet of gossipers every single time. I made up my mind right then and there to put an end to it.

Straightening my shoulders and taking a deep breath, I went back out on to the stoop. They turned to look at me, and again all conversation came to a screeching halt.

“You ugly-ass bitches got something to say, then say it to my face! Otherwise, keep my motherfucking name out your mouth!” I waited for a response, but not one of them opened her mouth. “Now, y’all have a nice day.” I left them with their jaws hanging open and stormed back into the building.

Back in my apartment, I sat down on the sofa, trying to fight back tears. As much as they deserved it, I felt bad about the way I’d spoken to them. It wasn’t in my character to be that disrespectful—at least I wasn’t that kind of person before Daryl’s death. Ever since then, the pressure building inside of me was almost too intense to bear. I was becoming someone I didn’t want to be. I wished I could turn back to a more innocent time, before I met Daryl, when Pop and I were close and life seemed simple.

My eyes locked in on a picture of my dad in full uniform, and I felt my heart swell with sadness. I wanted to hate him more than anything in this world for what he’d done, but I couldn’t. He was my father, and I missed him. He was the one person I used to be able to turn to whenever I had a problem. But now who did I have? Pop had taken everything from me, including himself. How fucked up is that? I had no one. I was completely alone, and I had nothing to live for.

With tears streaming down my face, I went into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. I clumsily knocked things out of the way, letting them clatter from the cabinet into the sink, until I found what I was looking for—Percocet.

I carried the bottle into the kitchen and set it down on the table while I scribbled out a note.

It was my hope that once they found my note, it would cast doubt on Pop’s confession and they would release him. He’d be mad at first, but hopefully he’d be able to live out the rest of his life in happiness. Who knows? Maybe he could retire and move away somewhere with Nancy and be happy. I knew I was ready to go to a happier place. Hopefully I’d see Daryl there.

I opened the bottle of Percocet, emptying the contents into my hand. There looked to be about twenty or so left from a thirty-day prescription. From what I had read, twenty was plenty. Then I reached for the bottle of Hennessy that I’d purchased specifically for this purpose. When the guy at the liquor store put it in the bag for me, he said, “Enjoy.” I doubted I’d even taste it going down. I’d only bought it to speed up this whole process, to get it over with.

My heart was beating so hard that it took me a minute to determine that the loud thud I’d heard wasn’t my heartbeat, but instead a knock on the door. The first person that came to mind was Nancy. She’d been trying to get me to talk to her ever since Pop was arrested. I twisted the cap off the bottle, figuring Nancy would get the hint and go away. But it wasn’t her.

“Benny, open the door. It’s Connie. I got a surprise for you.”

“Connie,” I said softly.

In the past week and a half, she had been the only one, other than Nancy, who’d come to see about me. She’d brought me food and lent a listening ear when I let her in, which wasn’t often. She’d been so nice to me, hadn’t questioned or judged me once. She only listened. Considering how she felt about Daryl, she could have hated me because of what Pop did. But she never said one bad word about Pop, and she showed me more kindness than I felt I even deserved.

I put down the Hennessy and poured the pills back into the bottle. Had it been anyone else, I wouldn’t have bothered answering the
door, but after the way Connie had been there for me, I had to at least say good-bye.

When I opened the door, I saw something that made the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. I took a step back, closing my eyes to see if it was just a mirage. When I opened them, he was still standing there next to Connie.

“Daryl?” I asked the man. He had dreads pulled back in a ponytail and a little less facial hair, but even behind those sunglasses he was sporting, he looked just like Daryl.

“No, this isn’t Daryl.” Connie laughed. “This is Rodney, Daryl’s brother. They do have one hell of a family resemblance, don’t they? Almost made me pee in my pants when I saw him at the wake.”

My mouth hung open. I couldn’t find any words to express what I was feeling as I stared at this person who was the spitting image of the man I loved.

I swear I almost started crying when Rodney stepped up and gave me a warm hug. “So you’re the guy my brother was always telling me about. I’ve heard a lot about you, Benny.” He stepped back and smiled.

“Really?” I was surprised that Daryl had even mentioned me to his family. Just that little bit of information lifted my spirit.

“My brother really liked you, man. He said you were one of his best friends. He just never told me how handsome you were.”

I glanced at Connie, who had a satisfied smirk on her face.

“Thanks.” I could feel myself blushing, and I lowered my head. I would have loved to return the compliment, but I was still a bit flabbergasted by the mere sight of him.

Connie leaned in and whispered, “Daryl had been thinking about hooking you guys up, you know.” She pulled back with a grin on her face. I couldn’t help but smile too. Now, that was something I hadn’t done in a long time.

“Anyway, Rodney, I’m gonna leave you in Benny’s capable hands. I’m sure you two will find something to talk about.”

Was she really going to leave me alone with him? “Where are you going?” I asked, trying not to sound panicked.

“I have to go pack. The movers are coming in a couple of days, and I still have more than half my place to box up. Rodney here wanted to talk with you, so I’ll leave you two alone.”

“You’re really moving, huh?”

“Aint nothing here for me, Benny. Not anymore.” She glanced over at Daryl’s apartment sadly.

“I can relate. I’m planning on checking out myself,” I said, thinking about the pills I’d left in the kitchen.

“Who knows? Maybe you and Rodney can check out together.”

Poor Connie. She had no idea what she’d just said. I hoped she’d forgive me later for committing suicide.

Connie gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. And then it was me and Rodney and an awkward silence at the front door until he spoke.

“I’m sorry. I know this is a little weird. I didn’t think she was gonna drop me off on you like that.”

“I know, but it’s okay. I’m not doing anything.”
Other than killing myself, that is.

“Do you mind if I come in?”

“Ah, you know, my place is really a mess…,” I said awkwardly.

“No problem. Why don’t we go have a drink somewhere?” Rodney suggested.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and thought about it for a second. Sure, Rodney was cute, and he seemed nice, but I doubted Connie had told him everything about me. Once he learned the truth, he would probably run, and I didn’t think I could bear it if one more person left me.

“I don’t know about that. I mean, I’d love to get to know you better, and I’m sure there are lots of things about your brother we could share, but—”

“But what? I know you loved my brother, Benny. He loved you too, just not in a romantic way. I think he would have wanted us to be friends.”

I shook my head. “Nah, I’m sorry. I can’t.”

He was persistent. “Oh, come on. Let’s have a drink and shoot the breeze about my brother. I really miss him. Don’t you?” We were
both silent for a second, lost in our own private thoughts about Daryl. “Besides, it’s my birthday. Daryl told me that he went with you on your twenty-first, so you owe me at least that much. Everybody needs somebody to hang out with on their twenty-first birthday.”

I smiled as I thought about how I’d used the same tactic to convince Daryl to spend my birthday with me.

“Is that a yes?” Rodney said, playfully jabbing me in the arm.

“Before I say yes, there’s something I’ve got to tell you. Something that might change your mind about having that drink with me.” I couldn’t even finish the sentence without my eyes welling up with tears.

“What’s that?”

“My father’s the one who killed your brother.” I took a step back just in case he decided to swing. “He killed him because he thought Daryl turned me gay. I’m sorry. It was all my fault.”

Rodney looked down at the ground and blew out a long, slow breath; then he looked up at me. He lifted his hand, and I tensed up, expecting a slap in the face. Instead, he placed it gently on my cheek. “I know. I was there when your father got arrested, Benny. Me and my family have made our peace with God about that. The rest is up to the court system. We don’t blame you. I’m just sorry that you don’t have your father and I don’t have my brother.”

He leaned in and gently kissed my cheek.

“You ready for that drink now?”

I wiped the tears from my eyes. “Let me go clean up some stuff in the kitchen, and I’ll be right out.”

I had never been so scared in my life. I put my hands together, got down on my knees, and prayed to God for the first time in years.

“Please, God, if you can somehow get me out of this mess, I will never, ever use drugs again, I swear. And I’ll go to church too. In Jesus’s name I pray. Amen.”

I got up off my knees and sat down on the chair in the interrogation room, wondering how much longer the detectives were going to make me wait. It had been almost an hour since that hard-ass Detective Ryan read me my rights, then drilled me about Slim and his operation. I tried to be strong, but when he showed me the blue boxes they’d found in our apartment, I threw Slim so far under the bus he might not ever get out from under it. I hated what I’d done to Slim, but at this point, it was either him or me, and it damn sure wasn’t gonna be me. I just hoped the DA cut me a deal to go to one of those drug programs like Ryan had promised instead of jail.

“You know you’re in big trouble, right?” Detective Thomas entered the room, followed by his female partner, Detective Anderson. Neither one of them looked happy, and Thomas sounded pissed.

“What are you talking about? I’ve been cooperating. I already told Detective Ryan everything I know. He’s trying to get me into a substance abuse program.”

“I wouldn’t be worrying about going to a program yet if I were you,” he said, sitting across the table from me. “What I’d be worried about is this.”

Anderson handed him a brown paper bag and he dumped out its contents. At least a dozen aerosol cans rolled across the table.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“We’ll get to those in a minute.” He picked up a plastic bag containing a knife. “Do you know what this is?”

“Uh, yeah. It’s a steak knife. Most people use them to cut their food.” What the fuck was going on here? I was still scared, but now I was becoming a little irritated. Why were they bothering me with this bullshit that had nothing to do with my drug use?

“I believe this particular knife was used to end Daryl Graham’s life. We’ll know for sure in a couple of days.”

“So that’s what Ben used to kill Daryl?” I asked. “What’s that got to do with me?”

“Is that what Ben used?” Anderson mocked me angrily. “Somehow I doubt it. We found this bag in the trunk of your car.”

“No fucking way!” I swallowed so hard one might have thought I had a bowling ball stuck in my throat. Now I was starting to see where they were going with this, and I did not like it one bit. “You don’t think that I… no fucking way.”

“We got the final lab report back this afternoon on the cause of that fire. It turns out that the accelerant used to start the fire was WD-40.” He picked up one of the cans that had rolled off the table and stood it up for me to see the label. It read, WD-40.

“My—My mother was burned with that.” I lowered my head to the table so I didn’t have to look at the detectives, the knife, or the aerosol can anymore. If there was ever a time I needed some cocaine, this was it.

“Hey, I think she’s getting it now, Anderson,” Thomas said to his partner before turning his attention back to me. “You are getting it, aren’t you?”

Yes, I was getting it, but that didn’t mean it made any sense.