The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress (103 page)

     This one that I am now describing was of a kind of one that are very many of them quite successful in living. This is now a description of several of them. This is a kind of resisting dependent independent men and women.
     These have it in them mostly to make every one feel it about them that they are very strong ones in living, they have solidity in them, they are like wood or iron and have a solid being in them and every one knowing them is certain that they are good ones and they are independent and intelligent and loyal and not timeserving and yet always they are succeeding in living succeeding in loving, a little arrogant but not unpleasant to mostly every one knowing them, very successfully knowing successful people in their living though not seeking to know such ones, it just comes to them. Some of such ones are not completely successful in living, some of such ones have a pride that is a little more sensitive than the being really in them, some have a romantic imagination that is too active for the being in them but mostly this kind of them are very successful in living and this is to be now a little more description of this kind of them.
     Resisting being in them is as it were solid and firm and hard but never aggressive being in them. It is not profoundly sensitive in them, it is as it is with wood when in a tree it is living and then when it is completely useful as a piece of wood to be used for working into a shape for using and it is a solid thing then, an honest thing then, a thing to be adapted for good using, a solid reliable thing then, a completely existing thing then, a thing sensitive in the sense that it repays good handling but not a thing sensitive in the sense that a tree living having living growing being is a sensitive thing. These then this kind of resisting men and women who I am now describing have this in them and they have it in them some of them so completely this being in them that they are to many knowing them completely strong men, completely geniuses in living without any of the weaknesses in them that geniuses most generally have in them, that men successful in living most generally have in them. These men are very interesting, I know now five of such of them and only one of these five of them is not really a successful one and that one has a pride in him and a romantic imagination in him that is too sensitive for the solid dead wood being in him. This kind of them of men are very interesting to me in the being in them, they are very pleasant companions mostly always all of them loyal, reliable, delicate in their feeling, honest, earnest, never toadying, decently prudent and decently courageous in living, always giving to every one a conviction that they are a very strong one and they are mostly always succeeding very well in anything that is a life work to them and though they are laborious in their working they are really pretty quick and graceful in their working generally although strength is the quality in them that seems strongest in them but really strength in them is the solidity of block wood, bar iron in them really then these in their living can be completely adapted to their living, these then can be completely succeeding in living, these then can have sentimental feeling, and pride in them and romantic imagination but really this cannot at the bottom of them disturb them they are completely solid they can be completely adapted to living. I will come back again and again to describe this kind in men and women. I will come back again and again to every kind there is of men and women. These then that I have been describing have a lack in them, they are complete enough in living, they are each one completely different from every other one, they are themselves inside them but in a true sense they have not in them individual being, they are the very cream of schoolmen the very best thing there can be of any one following a master and working with him. They are individual to him, they are themselves completely inside them to themselves in them. These then are very good men mostly, loyal and earnest and efficient and successful in living. They are solidly learning and solidly resisting to be winning. Their working in its resulting is very often a quick and graceful and a little a dull thing. They are sensitive and strong and active to mostly every one having to do with them. They interest me very much, mostly unless I am a very sad one every one is to me very interesting. Sometime certainly I will tell more and then again some other time I will know more and then sometime I will tell more and so on and so on of this kind in men and women.
     I am altogether a discouraged one. I am just now altogether a discouraged one. I am going on describing men and women.
     I know one, he is of the resisting kind in men and women and he is completely an instrument being he is so completely that in a sense he has no volition though to very many knowing him he is almost a crazy one in living out ideas he has in him. I know this one, he has it in him to have vibratingly sensitive resisting being, that is all him and always when he wishes to do any working he must put himself quiescently ready so that something will play on him, some influence something and then it vibrates through him and he makes something does some work and not even really making himself a quiescent being is volition in him, it is simply a shutting off from himself by an almost senseless feeling of resisting any other thing, it is not choice in him of something and volition certainly is the act of choosing. This one as I am saying and I know very many who know him this one as I am saying is to very many an obstinate exaggerated self directing completely self-directing one and this one is completely an instrument nature, this one is like a violin a completely vibrating thing to anything that really can effect him. This one, I know this one very well in his living, this one in his loving is not loving as mostly men and women are doing who love the attacking kind of them if they are resisting kind in them, the resisting if they are of the attacking kind of them this one as I am saying in his loving is completely loving a resisting one, one like himself and this is very interesting. Mostly when one needs heightening of the being in them they get it from those very like them, for loving they need those different from them, for courage and emulation and influencing those like them and sometimes some love those like them and these are mostly then instrument natures or natures needing pretty complete influencing throughout their being but this is a very complicated question an excessively complicated question and sometime I am going to write a book and it will be a very long one and it will be all full up, completely filled up with pairs of them twos of them, sometimes threes and fours and fives but mostly with twos of them, twos of men, of women, of women and men, of men and women. Now to say just a little more of this one this instrument one that I am knowing pretty well now in the living in him. This one was not really succeeding very well in living, this one would not be succeeding very well when he was not any longer a young man, when he was an older one and had not any longer youthful beauty feeling and vibration in him and then too he would come to have fixed ideas in him, that would be a natural thing for him, and then perhaps later he would come to be a crazy one or just one that was failing in living. Some like him not so completely vibrating having some volition in them might be successful in living, some like him having a dulled vibration in them and fairly stupid feeling in them and much desire for good eating and drinking and sleeping can be successful enough in living. I know some of such of them, sometime oh sometime, really truly sometime there will be a description a complete description of every one.
     Now I will be describing four men, I know them all pretty well, two of them the first and the last are fairly whole ones inside them to mostly every one, the two others are mostly pieces of living to mostly every one knowing them.
     I know these four pretty well then, they are all in a way of the engulfing kind of the resisting kind in men and women, the four of them have that in common in every other way they are very different each one of them from the three others of them.
     The first one has engulfing being so brightly, so gaily, so concentratedly in him that it is a very fresh and gay and juicy thing in him the being in him. He is quite successful in living this one, quite successful in loving and always all his living he has had very much loving in him. He has not much real independence of action this one, he needs some one to start him to do everything excepting dancing and loving, this comes to him from the mere existing of women in the world around him. In mostly everything else some one starts him and he is very gay then in keeping going. When he is a sad one he does not want to see any one, that happens sometimes to him, he cannot start himself then, no one is starting him then, he is a sad one then and not succeeding in living. Really he is a very lively one in living and on the whole not unsuccessful in living. He is completely sensitive and not at all a bad one not a bit a bad one but not really a very actively good one he has no initiative for taking any responsibility on himself for himself or for any one. Always though he is responsible for himself, living gives him that initiative and he goes on living, sometimes he is a little fussy and then he remembers his father was so before him, he would like to be a different person not be like his father in any way and there he is he finds himself being just like his father after all the different kind of living that he has been having. This one has a genuinely sensitive being, this one is not a selfish one, self-seeking, this one is not apparently engulfing and yet really this one is completely of the engulfing resisting kind of them, this one has this being in him that is certain. It is gay and sparkling in him it is well concentrated in him, it is an engulfing resisting being that is certain.
     The second one, I know this one from the history of him from letters he has written, this one has engulfing murky being as hopeful and yet as a weak thing in him. He needs so much stimulating that after he was not any longer a very young one he could not get enough of it to keep going, he never engulfed anything really in his living not himself, not any one not any woman not any man, but he was always hopeful that sometime he would do this thing, hope was always there in him, when he was a very young one he was vigorous in aspiring, later he was not vigorous in anything but always hopeful and always of the engulfing resisting kind of them though never really engulfing or resisting anything. This was the being in him, he was not an unattractive one, sometime there will be more history of him written of his loving and of his not supporting himself by working and of his despairing and of his always hoping. This is enough of him just now, alright then.
     This one the third of these four of them I know very well indeed now and it took me a very long time to know him but that is not what I am now telling. This one was of the engulfing murkily resisting kind of them but he mostly was too ambitious and had too much vanity in him and was too self-sacrificing for any one to know it of him. He was really truly such a one, that is certain. He had very much vanity and self-sacrificing and affection and ambition in him and only slowly it came out of him that he was a rather dry engulfing murky resisting being. There will be here very little description of him, he is a very important one to be well known because he has the being in him so contused in him that it teaches one a great deal to completely learn him. I like him and I know him I will now tell a little more about him.
     Every one is sometime a little a lovely one to me. Some are sometimes quite very lovely ones to me, some are more some are less lovely to me. Sometime for a little almost every one is a lovely one to me. Every one I have been describing I will be describing I am describing, every one I am I can ever be knowing is sometime a little, more, a very lovely one to me. This is a very nice feeling in me inside me when some one is really a lovely one to me. Mostly every one pretty nearly every one certainly every one is sometime a little a lovely one to me. Some one is very much a lovely one to me. Each one certainly is sometime sometimes a lovely one to me. All these I am describing have it in them to have been sometime to be sometimes a lovely one to me. Every one, each one is certainly sometime a little a lovely one to me. This one I am now describing was for sometime really a quite lovely one to me. This one as I was saying was of the dependent independent resisting murkily engulfing kind of them but as I have been saying this was rather gently and a little dryly in him and mostly not any one knew it of him that he was of the engulfing murky kind of them. This one was a very gentle one, a very affectionate one, a really very self-devoted one, a really very ambitious one, a really very vain one, a really very appealing one and always also a fairly aspiring one, and always there was murky engulfing in this one but it was a little dry a little very pretty in this one. This one was to very many quite a lovely one. This one's living and being is quite interesting, sometime there will be written a very complete history of this one. This one mostly to every one who really came to know this one very well was a piece of being not a very completely whole one. Sometime there will be a complete history of this one.
     The fourth one of these four of them that all have it in them to have murky engulfing resisting being was very little to me a lovely one. He was very really a lovely one to his wife and she was older than he was and he really was not a bad one not a good one not a bad one, he was not a very lovely one to most of those he came to know in living. Every one is to me sometime a little a lovely one, that is pretty nearly certain.
     This one was of the engulfing murky resisting kind of them but engulfing was in him the swallowing of very little things, he never had it in him to do any large swallowing, he never was really engulfing a woman he was engulfing, she needed to thrust herself inside him and so he a little was doing swallowing and often he had it in him to be wanting to do to be be doing engulfing but he never really knew it in him, he was of the murky resisting engulfing kind of them but he had it in him only really as nibbling. To himself he was a very noble one, to himself he was almost a heroic one, to himself he was completely a good man, completely entirely a good one with not any mean ways in him and this really was a very natural thing seeing that murky resisting engulfing being was a nibbling swallowing thing in him, this could not be himself to himself inside him, that is certain, and so to himself inside him he was a completely good one almost a heroic one. If any one if his sister-in-law said to him but you nibbled and swallowed that thing that was not a noble thing to be doing, he would be saying, I am a good one my wife knows that every one knows that and if I did that thing it was the right thing for me to be doing. He was not a bad man this one, he was to himself completely almost heroically a good one, to his wife who was never quite completely engulfed by him she wanting to be completely engulfed by him felt him to be completely entirely a very lovely one, to his wife he was completely entirely a good one as he was to himself completely inside him. This is enough now of this one, he was to mostly every one a complete enough one, this will be now some descriptions of some other men and women.