THE MAHABHARATA: A Modern Rendering, Vol 1 (59 page)

O, you are beautiful past believing, Urvashi; you are desirable past all reason. But I cannot think of you as my lover, not while I am still Arjuna.”

He knelt before her. “Forgive me, mother! Bless me, I am your son.”

Love froze in her blood. It shattered there, fragile thing and turned to wrath. Ravaged by a frustration she had never known, like a demon in her body, she cursed him.

“I thought you were a man. A real man would never scorn me, when I came to you as an offering. Arrogant Arjuna, if you won’t have my love let my curse be upon you instead!”

She was as terrible now as she had been soft and desirable a moment ago.

“Since you have behaved like a eunuch tonight, I curse you to become one. You will lose your manhood, Pandava and spend your days among women, singing and dancing, but incapable of anything else!”

With a sob, she turned and ran out of that room, where he knelt devastated by her curse.

FOURTEEN THE CURSE
 

Arjuna lay curled tightly in his bed, with the moon pouring in over him. Abruptly, his visit to Devaloka had turned into a nightmare. It was a fate worse than anything he could have imagined: to never be a man again, never hold a woman in his arms, to never make love to sweet Subhadra or dark Draupadi. Now and then, a fit of sobbing would wrack the Pandava, as he lay waiting for the dawn so he could share his misery with someone. He wondered feverishly when Urvashi’s curse would take effect. Would it be with sunrise? Then this was his last night as a man. Tomorrow, he would be…what? Would his body change?

Arjuna rose and paced his room, as the moon set in a final flare of silver beyond his window. An hour of perfect darkness fell on Amravati, night’s last yaama. The darkness heightened Arjuna’s despair so he picked up one of the quaint lamps that lit up at just a touch and went to find Chitrasena. Through the night of Amravati the distraught Pandava walked, while the unearthly city slept around him. He came to the gandharva’s mansion, its coat of arms engraved with a golden vina and a silver sword.

Since no door in Amravati bears any lock, Arjuna walked straight in. He came to Chitrasena’s bedroom. In the silent night, as if to sharpen his agony, he heard noises of lovemaking beyond the door: quick breathing, a woman’s moans. But Arjuna was desperate and he knocked on the door. The sounds stopped at once; there was an annoyed growl. A moment later, the door was flung open and

Chitrasena stood there, a cloth round his slim waist, his long hair in disarray, his bright eyes angry.

But when he saw Arjuna, he cried, “Arjuna! What happened? Come in, come in.”

Throwing an arm around the Pandava, the gandharva brought him in. A slender gandharvi lay in his bed. Past his bedchamber, Chitrasena led Arjuna into another room beyond it that looked out over a river which flowed through the enchanted garden, Nandana, from the glass mountains beyond.

Chitrasena made Arjuna sit down. He fetched a silver flask from a cabinet and two tiny glasses. He filled them with a glimmering wine, gave one to the Pandava and sipped from the other himself. When he arrived at the gandharva’s house, Arjuna was so distressed he could hardly speak. But the wine was strong and it swept away some of the anxiety that knotted him. He drained the glass in a swallow and Chitrasena filled it again.

When Arjuna breathed more easily, the gandharva asked solicitously, “Now tell me, what happened in your father’s house to disturb you like this?”

It all came tumbling out of poor Arjuna: how Urvashi came to him and how he spurned her because she was the mother of his race. Finally, he told the Elf about the apsara’s curse.

“My life is over, Chitrasena. How can I live as a eunuch? Any other trial I could face, any hardship, but not this.”

He buried his face in his hands and sobbed. “Chitrasena, how will I look at Draupadi and Subhadra again? Oh, why did I come to Devaloka?”

“Calm yourself, Arjuna. Every curse is a ploy of fate. There must be a reason for it and it will turn out to your advantage. Let me go and speak to Indra; he will know what it means. You must stay here. It will sadden him to see you like this.”

Chitrasena left the flask of wine beside Arjuna. “Keep yourself warm. Everything will turn out for the best. Urvashi loved you; her curse will not harm you.”

But these assurances hardly cheered Arjuna and he sat tensely in Chitrasena’s chamber, while the gandharva went to wake Indra.

“What is it Chitrasena, at this hour?” said the king of the Devas, when a servant roused him from sleep and the gandharva was shown into his presence.

“My Lord, you mistook Arjuna when you saw him gazing at Urvashi.”

“How is that?”

“He only looked at her because she was the ancestral mother of the Kurus.”

“What? Sit down, Chitrasena, tell me everything.”

He, too, fetched some wine and poured two goblets for them. Sipping the drink, Chitrasena said, “I took your message to Urvashi and she went to Arjuna. She woke him, as other men dream of being woken.”

“Then what went wrong?”

“My Lord, Urvashi stood before your son and offered herself to him. But he told her he looked upon her as his mother, so he could not have her in his bed. I think she pleaded with him a little, but he knelt at her feet and begged her to forgive him. It was not that she wasn’t the most beautiful woman; only, he saw her as a mother.”

Indra gave an incredulous laugh. “Are you telling me she offered herself to him and he refused her? Not you or I, or the greatest rishis ever resisted Urvashi. And you say he didn’t lay a hand on her?”

“Not when she stood before him clad in little more than moonlight.”

“I cannot believe it!” Indra poured more wine. “What happened then?”

“She coaxed him a while. But he said that for him she was like Kunti.”

“She was angry? This has never happened to her before.”

“She was beside herself.”

“And?”

“She cursed him.”

Indra grew still. The Elf went on, “She cursed him that he will be a eunuch and spend his days among women, singing and dancing for them.”

To Chitrasena’s amazement, Indra smiled. “Well, that is one of them taken care of,” he said.

“What do you mean, my Lord?” cried the astonished gandharva.

“It is the best thing that could have happened to him.”

“What are you saying? Perhaps you haven’t understood me: she has cursed him to lose his manhood.”

“Yes, I understand, Chitrasena.” Then, as if he thought of it only now, he said, “But the poor boy must be sick with fear. Go and fetch him here quickly, Gandharva. Tell him on the way he need not be afraid, all will be well. Go now, hurry.”

When Chitrasena brought an anxious Arjuna to his father, Indra embraced the Pandava. His son stood downcast.

Indra said, “Put aside this mournfulness, Arjuna. You have done what none of the Devas ever could! What the greatest munis and siddhas, the noblest gandharvas and charanas could never do. Ah, you are more than what you seem. You must be who the wise say you are: ancient Nara come again as a man.”

Arjuna stood perplexed before his father. “Urvashi has cursed me that I become a eunuch. What have I done, my Lord?”

“How can you ask, my son? You resisted the most irresistible woman in Devaloka! Why, I could never resist her, nor could Chitrasena, or any of the Devas or the munis of heaven or earth. And you ask what you have done?”

Arjuna’s head remained bent, “But she was the first mother of my race. Had she been another woman, I wouldn’t have resisted her, nor found any cause to.” He paused and a tear glistened in his eye. “And for what I did she cursed me to lose my manhood. My Lord, I am ruined.”

Indra said, “I have sent word to Urvashi that her curse must last only for a human year. For that year, it will see you through a time of trial. The apsara is mollified, she regrets having cursed you.”

Such a smile broke out on Arjuna’s face, when he heard the curse would last for just a year. Chitrasena said, “I don’t see how the curse will help him, even if it lasts only a year.”

“You forget the conditions of the Pandavas’ exile. They must spend twelve years in the jungle and for the thirteenth, they must go disguised so no man knows them. If they are discovered, they will spend another twelve years in exile.”

Chitrasena murmured, “Who would think of looking for Arjuna in a harem, singing and dancing among women?”

Arjuna breathed, “My mother Urvashi has blessed me with a curse!”

His heart was light again and the Pandava lived at peace in Amravati. He had the devastras he had come for; but now, a new passion seized him, an unlikely one for a kshatriya: Arjuna wanted to excel as a musician and dancer. Chitrasena said he was one of the most gifted pupils he ever taught. The Pandava was dedicated and tireless at his practice.

The gandharva said to Indra, “He wants to be perfect at everything he does. He already sings as well as most gandharvas in Devaloka. But he isn’t satisfied. I have never seen anyone so absorbed in what he learns, or so utterly giving of himself.”

Arjuna was quickly almost as fine a musician as he was an archer. The gandharvas are a festive folk and there is often nightlong revelry in Amravati, in which music and dance have the main part. Soon, the kshatriya from the earth was being asked to sing with the greatest masters of Devaloka. He performed with such inspiration that there was always a cry for another song from him and then another.

Arjuna began to compose his own songs and they described life on earth, which to many of the immortals was as exotic as the gandharva ballads of forgotten ages were to Arjuna. Thus, the days in his father’s kingdom passed. But the Pandava missed his brothers and Draupadi more than ever. He was sure they pined for him and often spoke of them to Chitrasena.

But it seemed Indra could not have enough of his son; these days, his life began and ended with Arjuna.

Indra knew his son still had to taste the sweetest fruit Devaloka had to offer. One night, not long after, he sent Tilottama to Arjuna. She stayed with the kshatriya until noon the next day and was full of blushes, later, when asked about her time with the mortal.

She could hardly wait for night to fall again, to return to his bed. Arjuna confessed to Chitrasena that love with an apsara was more climactic than with any human woman. Yet, he found something lacking in it.

“It is a brief love, Chitrasena, with no bond of any kind as comes from sharing a mortal life together, its joy and grief, its trials, its long, uncertain years.” He smiled shyly, “And from Panchali being my brothers’ wife, as well. Surely, love on earth is quieter; but it is a deeper, longer thing, touched with more sorrow than ever comes to this place.”

Arjuna’s days in Amravati were scarcely like hard times of exile. But he constantly thought of his brothers and of Draupadi and he knew they missed him more than they could bear. One day, when Arjuna sat beside his father, the rishi Lomasa arrived in the Sudharma.

That muni gaped at the sight that met his eyes: a mortal man, a kshatriya by the looks of him, sat beside Indra on his ruby throne.

Lomasa stood staring at Arjuna. He came forward and paid homage to the king of the Devas, but his eyes strayed to the warrior who sat beside Indra. Indra raised his hand in blessing over Lomasa. With a smile, he said, “You are wondering, O Muni, what tapasya has fetched a mortal to Amravati and set him on my throne.”

The sage nodded slowly: the thought had indeed crossed his mind. Indra laughed. “Lomasa, this kshatriya is my son Arjuna. He only sits where he belongs, don’t you think?”

Lomasa bowed to Arjuna. Indra had not finished, “He is not just my son. His right to sit upon this throne is more than what it seems.”

“Who is he, my Lord?” asked Lomasa. All the sabha was curious to hear who else Arjuna the Pandava was.

Indra said quietly, “He who can resist the charms of Urvashi is no mortal, though he has a man’s form for the present. Arjuna has come to learn the devastras from me and he has come to study music and dance. He will have need of all these when he returns to the world. For he has been born into the world to purify it.”

“Who is he, O Indra?” asked the rishi again.

“You have heard the sacred names of Nara and Narayana. They sat in an immortal dhyana, at the mouth of a cave in Badarikasrama. That was when the world was young. More recently, Bhumidevi went to Mahavishnu to tell him of the weight of evil upon her. She said that if he did not lighten her burden soon, she would plunge down into naraka and the world would be another zone of hell.

Narayana has sent himself forth as dark Krishna of the House of Vrishni; and Nara has come again as this Arjuna. The earth is full of darkness, Lomasa, full of demons and sin. Arjuna and his brothers have been born to restore the light of dharma to men.”

Indra was somber. “There will be a war, as the dwapara yuga sets and the kali yuga rises over the world, a blood-letting like the earth has not seen in an age. No power of darkness from the dwapara yuga must survive into the lesser age. If even one Asura is left alive, he will be invincible in the age of evil. He will become Lord of the earth and a terror in the world.

Yes, Muni, there will be an awesome war on the cusp of the ages.”

“Won’t Krishna be at the war? Then why does Arjuna need the devastras?”

“If Krishna unleashes his power against the evil ones the very earth will be consumed. The task is too small for him. But Arjuna will fight and he will triumph.” He paused, before saying, “Meanwhile, I have a mission for him here in Devaloka.”

Arjuna turned to Indra; it was the first he had heard of any mission. Indra said, “The Nivatakavachas have grown too powerful in their city and they are invincible because of the armor they wear. The Devas and gandharvas have failed to drive them back into the deep sky from where they first came. There will be a war in Devaloka soon and Arjuna will show us his prowess.”

The Pandava was radiant at the very mention of battle. But again a shadow crossed his face and Indra knew the grief that laid its hand on him. He said, “Lomasa, I want to ask a favor from you for my son’s sake.”

Lomasa said, “For Nara, who has come to rid the earth of evil, ask anything!”