The Magic of Christmas (11 page)

‘How long have you worked here?'

‘Two years.' Lara added some broccoli to her plate. ‘I moved because I wanted the experience of working in the emergency department of a big London teaching hospital. There aren't that many shootings and stabbings in my part of Dorset and our idea of an RTA is a tractor colliding with a hedge. What about you? Why did you move hospitals?'

‘The post was too attractive to turn down. The facilities are amazing and there was an opportunity to do research alongside my clinical responsibilities.'

‘In other words, extra work.'

‘Something like that. And I thought the change might be good. This casserole is great.'

Lara speared a piece of meat with her fork and studied it. ‘I probably should have warned you that generally I'm not very domesticated. I'm very untidy and I'm blind to the presence of dirt or dust, but I like my food, so I made sure that I learned to cook. My mother is a wizard in the kitchen.'

‘You mentioned that your parents are in France.'

‘Yes, they have a house in the Dordogne and they've been spending more and more time there. I suppose they thought that with Tom in Australia and me in London, they may as well go to France over Christmas.' She pushed away the faint feeling of sadness. ‘What about your family? Will they join you over Christmas?'

‘No.'

She waited for him to say more, but he carried on eating. ‘That's it?'She raised her eyebrows. ‘That's all you're going to tell me about your family?'

‘There's not much to tell. I'm an only child. My parents and I aren't close.' He lifted his wineglass and drank.

‘They're not interested in their grandchildren?' She thought about it for a moment. ‘My mother drives Tom and me nuts with her constant nagging about our reluctance to provide her with grandchildren to spoil. Your parents aren't the same?'

‘Hardly.' His tone was neutral. ‘Children, generally, aren't their favourite thing.'

‘They had you.'

‘Yes, although, I sometimes wonder why. I went
to boarding school at seven. Don't look so shocked. It happens.'

‘I'm just trying to imagine being sent to boarding school at the age of seven. Who hugged you when you had a bad day?'

He topped up their glasses. ‘No one hugged me. I didn't need anyone to hug me.'

‘Everyone needs affection.' Lara put her fork down and reached for her wine. ‘So presumably that's why you're so careful about the children's feelings. You've been hurt yourself by the breakdown of an adult relationship.'

He stilled. ‘I've never analysed it before.'

‘Men never do. Analysis and guilt is a girl thing.' She lifted her glass. ‘It's not enough for us to be screwed up—we have to know the
reason
that we're screwed up.'

Her comment raised a smile but then he glanced at her, his gaze curiously intent. ‘It's true that I always envisaged having a traditional family one day,' he said softly. ‘But that's an out-of-date concept now, isn't it?'

‘I don't think so.'

‘Then you're unusual.' His smile faded and
there was a hard edge to his voice that warned her that they were straying onto sensitive territory.

Perhaps talking about the children would reduce the tension in the atmosphere. ‘Did you look in on Chloe?'

‘Yes, she was still reading.' Christian toyed with his wineglass. ‘It was good to see her dancing and laughing earlier. She seemed more like her old self. Until I turned up.'

‘What do you mean, until you turned up?'

‘You didn't notice?'

‘She seemed fine to me. It probably wasn't a great idea to wind them up before bedtime but I wanted them to get into the Christmas spirit before the weekend.' Lara dropped her eyes to her plate, because the alternative was staring at him. ‘Do you think you'd be able to take them to buy a Christmas tree on Sunday? They'd love it if you could.'

‘I'll buy one on my way home from work.'

Appalled, she lifted her gaze. ‘Where's the fun in that?! They have to help you choose one.'

‘They'll argue.'

‘Precisely.' Lara put down her knife and fork. ‘Very healthy.'

‘You're obviously an expert on Christmas.'

‘I love Christmas. Don't you?'

His fingers tightened on the stem of his glass. ‘No,' he said flatly. ‘I don't. Christmas is for families.'

‘You're a family, Christian.'

His eyes met hers. ‘Rather a fractured family, don't you think?'

‘Families aren't all about a mother, father, two children and a dog.' Lara said mildly.

Christian lounged back in his seat. ‘Call me old-fashioned, but I still think that's the ideal set-up.'

‘Yes.' She stared at him for a moment. ‘I suppose I do, too. But life doesn't always turn out the way you plan, does it? And I suppose it's hardly surprising. How anyone ever finds someone that they're compatible with in our busy, hectic world, I don't know. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack.'

‘So is that why you booked your ticket to Australia?'

She smiled. ‘If you're asking whether Australia is my haystack then the answer is no. I'm just going to see Tom and maybe travel a bit. I'm not
looking for a man. I'm sure they're just as flawed in Australia as they are over here. But I need a change. I've worked in various emergency departments for the past four years and I need something more.'

‘You'll be missed.' He glanced around the kitchen. ‘I haven't thanked you properly for everything you've done with the house. You may not think you're domesticated but you've succeeded in turning an empty house into a home. Things are improving. Chloe's still quiet and I haven't got to the bottom of it but I'm still trying.'

‘Perhaps she's just missing her mum.'

‘Perhaps. Although, to be honest, Fiona wasn't around much. She was always working.'

Lara recalled Chloe saying something similar. ‘It must have been so hard for the children.'

‘It happens. Relationships break down every day.' His gaze was faintly mocking. ‘I'm not easy to live with.'

Her stomach rolled over and she gave a smile to cover up just how seriously he affected her. ‘So now we're back to the flaws again. Go on. Tell me the worst.' She used laughter to conceal her discomfort.
‘Do you lose your temper and yell? Or are you untidy? Do you drop your clothes onto the floor when you take them off, instead of putting them away?'

‘And, if I do?'

‘Then we both know that you'll probably be dropping them on top of mine,' Lara said, her mind again dominated by a disturbing vision of Christian naked. Flustered by her thoughts, she rose to her feet and picked up the rest of the casserole. ‘I'll freeze this for another day when neither of us can be bothered to cook.' She lifted the casserole across the work surface and left the lid off so that it would cool.

Christian stood up. ‘I think we need to agree on a few house rules.' He cleared the plates and started loading them into the dishwasher. ‘The casserole was delicious but I don't expect you to cook for me. It's enough that you're prepared to move in here and help with my daughters. I can look after myself.'

She wished he wasn't standing quite so close. It was impossibly distracting. ‘I like cooking and I don't have anyone to cook for anymore.' She
sneaked a look at him. ‘I'll cook if I'm not working late, but if you're too late home to eat it, it doesn't matter. How's that for a compromise?'

The kitchen door opened and Chloe put her head round. ‘I'm going to bed. Good night.'

Christian turned. ‘Good night, sweetheart.' His voice was slightly husky. ‘Do you want me to come and tuck you in?'

‘No need.' Chloe gave a quick smile and shook her head. ‘I'll read for a bit and then put my light out. See you in the morning.'

Go after her,
Lara urged silently, but Christian stood still, staring at the closed door with a frown on his handsome face.

He stirred. ‘I usually tuck her in. Is twelve too old to be kissed good-night? I honestly have no idea.'

Lara tilted her head to one side thoughtfully. ‘Well, I've never had children but I wouldn't think that you're ever too old for a hug. I'm still happy to be kissed good-night by the right guy, and I'm twenty-five.'

His jaw tightened. ‘Lara—'

‘OK, OK, I probably shouldn't have said that.' She lifted a hand and gave a helpless shrug. ‘I
would have thought she'd appreciate a hug. Probably not at the school gates but in the privacy of your own home…I don't know, Christian. Perhaps you should just not give her the choice and go on up.'

‘I sensed that she didn't want me to.'

Lara stood, not knowing what to say. She'd sensed the same thing, but what little girl wouldn't want her dad? Why would Chloe push him away? ‘It's almost as if she's afraid she's being a bother.'

‘A bother?' Christian turned to look at her, a frown in his eyes as he considered what she'd said. ‘Why would she think that?'

‘I honestly don't know. Is it to do with her mother? How does she feel about all that?'

There was a long silence and a muscle flickered in his jaw. ‘I have no idea. She refuses to talk about it.'

‘She's
never
talked about it?'

‘Not really. I've tried, of course, but she always changes the subject really quickly.' Christian glanced towards the closed door. ‘She seems more interested in checking that I'm happy. I
think I'm probably asking all the wrong questions. I'm just not good at talking to twelve-yearold girls.'

‘It can't be an easy thing to talk about.' Lara hesitated. ‘Could she be hoping that her mum might come back?'

‘No.' His tone was hard. ‘I was honest with them on that score. Perhaps too honest, but I didn't want to create hope where there was none.'

Lara thought of her own family and how close they were and didn't bother trying to hide her shock. ‘Well, the whole thing must have been pretty traumatic for someone of Chloe's age. It's very unusual for a woman to leave her children. Does she visit them?'

‘She's in Hong Kong, so visiting isn't easy. She dropped in once when she had a stopover at Heathrow but she hasn't spent much time in the UK since she left last Christmas. She's an accountant and she was transferred to the Hong Kong office. Very prestigious job.'

Lara looked at him. ‘I don't know what to say,' she murmured. ‘You must have been devastated.'

He was silent for such a long time that she
thought he wasn't going to respond to her statement but then he lifted his head and looked at her. ‘I was devastated for the girls.'

She frowned.
What was that supposed to mean?
That he hadn't loved his wife?

‘Christian—'

‘Move on, Lara,' he said softly. ‘My ex-wife isn't my favourite topic of conversation.Perhaps you're right. Perhaps I will go and tuck Chloe in.'

‘Perhaps she might chat to me if we're decorating at the weekend.' Lara smiled. ‘There's nothing quite so effective as the boredom of painting a room to induce an intimate conversation.'

T
HE
rest of the week was a whirl of work and unpacking.

When she was at home, Lara finished emptying boxes and found homes for all the children's possessions, and, when she was at work, she tried to concentrate on patients and not think about being attracted to Christian.

But it was hard.

Especially once Jane discovered her new living arrangements. ‘Christian mentioned that you've moved in to help him with the kids.'

Lara frowned. ‘He told you that?'

‘Yes. We were chatting.'

‘Christian doesn't chat.'

‘He does if you force the issue. I don't know which piece of information shocked me most.
The fact that he's divorced or the news that you've moved in with him. Why didn't you tell me?!'

‘Because I was worried that you might ring my mother.' Lara glanced towards the ambulance bay, waiting for the arrival of an overdose patient. ‘She'd jump to the wrong conclusions.'

‘You're not involved, then?'

‘No.' Lara checked her watch. Ambulance Control had said five minutes but there was no sign of the patient. ‘My love life is as depressingly stagnant as ever.'

‘Well, that might change now you're actually living in the same house. You might bump into him naked in the bathroom.' Jane gave her a wicked smile. ‘Do me a favour and carry a camera with you, just in case.'

‘You're perverted.'Lara stared out of the window. ‘And it's a big house. I could walk around naked for a week and not bump into him and, anyway, neither of us is interested in a relationship.'

Jane looked at her. ‘I wasn't really talking about a relationship. I was thinking more of passionate sex with a guy who looks like a Greek god. It seems like too perfect an opportunity to waste.'

‘Well, I'm going to waste it. He has two children and I'm going to Australia next month.'

‘Which gives you plenty of time to have a steamy, no-strings affair. Sounds just about perfect to me. You need some light relief. You work much too hard.' Jane stared thoughtfully through the window. ‘Where are they? Do you think the ambulance has crashed?'

‘I hope not because we've only just restocked Resus after the last black ice disaster. It's freezing out there.'

‘Snow is forecast at the weekend. Can you imagine that?'

‘Brilliant. It will make everything really Christmassy.' Lara's mood lifted and Jane gave an irritated frown.

‘Do you have to be so relentlessly positive? It's really exhausting for the rest of us. Could you occasionally try and look on the black side, like normal people?'