The Magic Lands (48 page)

Lisa had come back down toward
him now, concern in her bright eyes and he found himself wondering
in the face of such beauty, why the world was full of dark things
that seemed to be always ready to take advantage of you, delighting
in your misery. There was, as always, no answer.

The girl touched his hand and
Tom managed a half-hearted smile. But inside he grappled with
futility, whose silent veil had eclipsed his mind and heart.

"All will be well," Lisa
assured him. "All will be well, my little one."

Jack was looking up into the
face of a man he did not recognise.

"Is this a friend of yours?" he
asked sourly. He directed the question at Dredger who stood beside
the fair-haired stranger, but both men smiled simultaneously and
Jack noticed how alike the two were dressed, each carrying a sword
at their side.

"Have you forgotten me so
soon?" enquired Dredger's companion in a voice that was
unmistakable.

" Mo?" said the boy hesitantly,
gazing at the man with doubt in his eyes.

"Indeed, Jack, it is I. And I
am very relieved to have you back safe and sound."

Even though the voice was that
of his friend, Jack was very confused. He had learnt before that
the badger somehow had the ability to change his appearance, but
when he had last seen him in human guise, it had not been as the
man who stood before him now.

"Why don't you look the same as
before?" he questioned and out of the corner of his eye saw the
hard smile on Dredger's face grow wider.

The fair-haired man looked down
at the boy with a kindness that Jack had seen so many times on the
face of a badger. "There are occasions when anonymity can be to my
advantage," he said and then chuckling to himself, added, "although
I had not intended the effect to carry as far as my friends."

Jack frowned at this. "So what
do you really look like?"

Mo paused before answering. "I
may come as a thousand, but I am only one," he began with perhaps
some regret. “I am nothing more or less than I seem to be, and yet
I am more than you can thus far understand. I hope, Jack, that you
will soon learn that it is not the outward shape which you must
judge, but what lies, often hidden, within. Darkness can very
easily be concealed behind the mask of a pretty face, it is always
difficult to recognise. But look hard and you will soon find that
appearances are always deceptive."

Now Jack knew it was without
question Mo, for there was no-one else in the world who spoke like
that, and yet the moment of warmth this realisation brought was
short-lived, as the ghosts of his past returned to torment him.

"You should have let me die,"
he muttered, the truth now clearly defined in his memory. It felt
as if a thousand blades were mutilating his spirit in a frenzy of
self loathing and remorse for what he had done.

"I know how you feel inside,"
someone said to him and he looked toward Mo, expecting to find
sympathy in that familiar gaze, but incredibly it was Dredger who
had spoken.

We are bonded
now,
Jack remembered the warrior saying and he knew in
a way beyond his own awareness that it was true. A change had come
over him, an almost imperceptible transformation, so intimate that
it was hard to express in words. Now Dredger too carried the
insurmountable weight of his sins and Jack understood that whilst
he was still responsible for the burden, and always would be, he
would no longer have to shoulder it alone.

Looking up into Dredger's eyes,
the boy gave a grim smile. "What happens now?"

"We must make ready to sail,"
Mo said, coming closer, the sea wind buffeting them.

Jack had barely noticed the way
the sea had calmed suddenly, leaving only the gusting breeze in its
wake. "But what about Tom?" he questioned, afraid of the
answer.

"I pray Tom will be with us,"
Mo told him. "But it is up to him now to find the way."

"He's alive then!?" cried Jack,
hardly daring to hope.

Mo nodded, pressing a hand on
the boy's shoulder. "We must return to Pelagian and prepare for our
voyage."

"There is nothing more to be
gained by remaining here," Dredger interjected, before Jack could
ask anything more.

The decision made, they
negotiated their way along the cliff path and as they hurried
toward the town, Jack was lost in his own thoughts. He was glad
that Tom was all right, but he wasn't sure that he wanted to see
him again just yet, not after all that had happened since they had
been separated. He was not the boy he had been when last they saw
each other; he had changed and he was afraid of what Tom might
think if he were to see him now. All the way down from the headland
and back into the cobbled streets of Pelagian, Jack wrestled with
his uncertainties, one part of him desperate to see Tom and speak
with him, another part dreading such a reunion, the shame of what
he had become almost too much to bear.

Everything was out of control.
He felt alone still, despite his companions, utterly forsaken, for
how could he trust anyone as a friend, when he couldn't even trust
himself?

Shooing away one of the
smallest of the lambs that had been nibbling at the hem of her
cloak, Lisa looked at Tom, her eyes sparkling and what he saw in
her gaze made him feel a little uneasy.

They had sat hand in hand for
some time, a comfortable silence between them but exactly how they
came to be holding hands in the first place, Tom couldn't quite
remember. It had just happened.

"Do you know where we are?" he
asked eventually, the question intrusive but impossible to ignore.
Memories of the sea came back to him, yet they were vague,
unimportant now.

Lisa turned her head away from
him for a moment to look out across the hillside, and Tom felt a
curious mixture of relief and disappointment to be free of her
regard. "I'm not sure really," she said, her eyes locking onto his
once more, stealing his breath away. "The land is always changing
you know. It never stays the same."

Tom wondered at this. "What do
you mean?" he questioned her, thinking that she might know
something to his advantage.

"It's just how things are,"
Lisa told him with an air of finality.

"How did you come to be here
then?" he ventured, trying a different approach, but Lisa merely
frowned, apparently confused.

"I'm here to be with
you," she said softly, squeezing his hand and Tom could have easily
believed that this was all no more than another dream. But this
time it
was
real, Lisa was
real, a person of flesh and blood like himself and not just a
fantasy.

"But don't you know how you got
here?" he persisted, although a part of him deep inside just wanted
him to shut up.

"I'm always here or there,"
Lisa remarked and Tom could do nothing but shrug his shoulders,
realising that he wouldn't learn anything by asking her
questions.

Softly, Lisa began to sing, her
blue eyes penetrating Tom's mind, her fingers very slowly circling
his palm.

"Within a heart of ice I
melt

the twilight of your soul,

I come with hands of fire

the storm before the lull,

you create me from a wish

deep within the spark,

but sometimes even flame

cannot light the dark."

Listening to her, Tom was moved
by an obscure sadness that although unfounded, still unsettled him,
the melody replaying again and again in his head.

"Tom?" she said to him, her
expression grave.

He waited for her to continue,
but she appeared unsure and lowered her eyes, blushing just a
little. "What is it?" he queried.

Coming closer to him, so that
their bodies brushed together, she seemed to alter subtly, the look
in her eyes intense, inexplicably more adult. "Kiss me," she told
him, a gentle command.

As their lips met, Tom was
overcome by feelings he had never known before, surging through his
whole body like fire, consuming him. He was aware distantly that he
had entered an unknown place, far stranger, far more dangerous even
than the one he had discovered when he had climbed the tree at the
end of the garden. But now, as the fire stirred within him,
becoming an inferno, he realised that whatever it was that had
claimed him, it could not be denied.

Is this
right?
But this inner voice was small, easily ignored.
Desire had taken him, dragging him on, helpless in its unyielding
grasp and with a sense of wonder, of awe, he knew that an
irrevocable step was before him, one that could not be taken
without loss.

He was afraid and yet longed to
slip further into the pool of mystery that Lisa offered him, and
giving himself up at last, resisting no more, his mind, body and
soul were lost in her. She had become his world.

A great ship waited in the
harbour just off the wharf, its anchor embedded deep into the silt
of the seabed. It was a sturdy craft, three tall masts rising from
the deck, the heavy mainsails growling in the wind, the hull
sitting low in the water laden with cargo.

They had spent some time at an
inn, Jack hardly sleeping while they were there. His entire system
had been disoriented and he didn't know whether they had stayed in
their rooms for one day or many. Nothing had any pattern here, not
even night and day. At times, the darkness lasted for what he
thought was only a few hours, while at others it seemed to drag on
for days. But what were days? What was time?

"Does she have a name?" he
asked Mo, gesturing at the ship and giving no suggestion of the
turmoil inside his mind.

The fair-haired man nodded out
toward the vessel. "The Spiritwalker," he stated, watching the way
the craft moved restlessly, as if eager to be away from the
land.

Dredger was at that very moment
aboard, making arrangements with the Captain for their passage,
their destination still vague as far as Jack was concerned. Soon he
and Mo would join them and then they would sail away, leaving Tom
behind for good. Guilt seemed to be Jack's constant companion now
and he wondered if things might be different if his friend were
here with him.

The odd mingling of his mind
with that of Dredger still prevailed in his subconscious, though it
was like a sleeping thing, for which he was grateful. And though he
knew that he had the warrior to thank for his life, and perhaps his
sanity too, still he felt violated in some indefinable way and that
was not something easily dismissed, or easily borne.

A decision would have to made
very soon and it would be the hardest he had ever faced. Stay or
go?

Should he put all his trust in
his companions or remain behind to search for Tom, come what may?
Was the choice even his to make?

He knew full well that Dredger
expected to be obeyed without question and since the warrior's
return from his trial in the lost city, he seemed more self-assured
and commanding than ever before.

As for Mo, he too counselled
going on, telling Jack that Tom would find the way for himself. But
in the midst of all his doubts, Jack found that hard to accept.

"I'm not sure it would be right
for me to come with you any further," he announced suddenly, the
words out of his mouth before he had really thought about the
consequences of what he was saying.

"You fear for Tom," Mo said
with understanding, not in the least surprised.

Jack sighed heavily. "I just
can't go off again, knowing there's no way he can find us once
we're at sea. He's my best friend and I know he wouldn't leave me
out there somewhere, all alone."

Hesitating before making a
reply, Mo patted him on the back. "You're a good boy, Jack, or
should I say now, a good man."

Jack barely smiled but
appreciated the comment nonetheless. "So you see that I can't go
with you?" he asked, the idea of parting from his only other real
friend making his spirits low.

"I understand, Jack," the
man told him, "but I would ask you one thing." The boy listened
attentively, hoping for some advice on where he might search for
Tom. "We are all told, often by our parents or someone who loves
us, of a thing called faith. It is a strange thing indeed, for some
say it does not exist and certainly, it cannot be seen. It is also
a fragile thing and very rare, but it can be found, here and there,
in the heart of a child, in the mind of a man, in the love of a
woman. If you do not come with us, all
will
fail, all will be lost. I tell you this as
a fact. Faith is what I ask you to have now, Jack. Faith in the
truth. Trust and have faith, not in me, not in Dredger, or even
Tom. Have faith in yourself, and believe that in the end things
will work out for the best."

Jack wasn't sure if words were
enough this time. If he got it wrong, it would be like sentencing
Tom to death, and then he would really have his friend's blood on
his hands. But could he risk everything by refusing to believe? At
least with Mo and Dredger, he felt there was a chance they might
succeed, however slight.

"I’ll try," he said very
quietly, "I'll try to believe."

"There is nothing more
difficult than believing in a dream," Mo uttered with a fleeting
smile.

Jack nodded. "And yet dreams
are everything here."

Neither of them said anything
more, merely gazing out at The Spiritwalker, the instrument of
Jack's test of faith.

The changes within him were
unhurried, developing at a deliberate pace, but Jack was growing
up. And the game he had been asked to play too was one of change.
And one of choices.

The Wolf was watching them. It
could see what no other saw. It could see within hearts and
minds.