The Madness Project (The Madness Method) (55 page)

The others didn’t speak for a tick, just kept goggling at
Shade like they thought he’d change his mind and tell them everything.

“I say one little demonstration isn’t going to be enough, and
Kantian knows it,” Coins said at last, winking at me.  “We’ve got to get more
folks riled up in the city, right?”

“Riled up about what?” Shade asked.  He leaned his forearms
on the table, the candlelight flickering off his tattoo.

“Aught and everything!” Red snapped.  “They dan’ let folks
hold onto aught anymore.  Everything we used to have, they’re taking it all
away.”

“What everything?”

Red glowered at him, face as cherry bright as his tag
suggested.  “The old ways.  The old traditions.  Everything that made us
Cavnish.”  His lip curled in a vicious kind of grin.  “But I forgot, you’re
Istian.  What do you care about Cavnal?”

“Istia ain’t aught like Cavnal,” Jig said.  “Right?  Istia’s
proof that we dan’ have to run away from our past to be a great nation in the
future.”

“You call Istia a great nation?” Red scoffed.

I expected Shade to flare up at that, maybe lean across the
table and plant a fist on Red’s jaw, but instead…he smiled.  At
me
.  My
heart gave a strange little jump.  Everyone kept chunnering on, but Shade just
held my gaze trapped by his dark eyes, that hidden smile playing around his
lips.  Like we were the only two people there.  Like we knew something no one
else did.  And before I knew it, I smiled back, everything fluttering about inside
me.

I pulled my gaze away, and tried to pay attention to what
the other lads were talking about.  From the corner of my eye I saw Shade
watching them a bit too, then his gaze drifted back to me, drawing mine like a
magnet.  He didn’t smile this time, at least not with his lips, but it was
there in his eyes, hiding somewhere so deep inside I lost myself trying to find
it again. 

I held my breath and thought I might stare at the table a
bit, but instead I found myself staring at his hands, at his long fingers
twined between us.  As hot as my cheeks burned, I was surprised no one made any
smart comments.

And all this, just when I’d got so convinced that he didn’t
see me at all.

“We could use Hayli,” Jig said, touching my elbow and
bringing me out of my thoughts with a painful snap.  “She could do it.”

Red was scowling at me, and I scowled straight back, trying
to figure out if I knew what they were talking about.  These rebel meetings
always went the same, from what I could tell from my bouts of eavesdropping. 
All anger and indignation and vague plans to change the world, and never a
sound notion of what any of their daft ideas would need in order to work.

“What’re you volunteering me for?” I asked.

Coins laughed and even Jig grinned a bit, laying his hand on
my back.  At one time I might’ve been thrilled, because none of the lads had
ever looked twice at me, not even as a chum, but now every time Jig touched me,
all I could think was how I wished it was Shade.  But for all Shade might touch
the most secret corners of my heart, it was always a distant thing.  Stars, how
I wished it wasn’t so.

“You remember how you were trying to get onto the palace
grounds back a month back?” Anuk asked.

Shade’s gaze flickered at me, but now there was curiosity
there instead of warmth, and that got me feeling a bit off, like I’d done
something I shouldn’t.

“What about it?” I asked.

“You’re so much better at Shifting now, Hayli.  You could
make it all the way in and go find out what’s going on, so.”

“Gannin' on, where?” I asked.  “You ever seen that place? 
It gans on forever.  There are buildings and buildings.  What would I even be
looking for?”

“Evidence,” Red said, as if that explained everything. 
“Evidence that they’re planning to attack us.”

“Why would they attack
you?
” Shade asked, the words
biting.

“For harboring the likes of
you
,” Red shot back.

Shade snorted.

“You’re not the only ones the government hates,” Jig said,
quieter than I’d expected.  “Far as they bother, we’re all a nuisance.”

“Because you still care about Cavnal?” Shade asked.  They
looked at him a bit puzzled, so he held up a hand to gesture toward the
window.  “I don’t mean the State, or even this city.  I mean Cavnal.  This
country, this plot of earth.  This place of memories and myths and fables, and
so much history.”

“No one talks like that, Shade,” I murmured,.

“In Istia we do.”

“Well, this ain’t bloody Istia,” Red said, “and here words
like that might get a man shipped off to the belly of a ship or the belly of a
mine.”

“I know the king’s got some innovative plans, but I doubt
he’d go that far,” Shade said.

“Then you dan’ na him like we do,” Red said.  “Just ask
Rivano.”

Shade gave a sudden wolfish kind of grin.  “I would if I
ever got a chance to talk to him.”

Jig cleared his throat.  “Right, well.”

He looked about to keep talking, but behind us the door
slammed open and Vim and Link gusted into the bar, red-faced and windblown. 
For a minute they stood stomping their feet and blowing their fingers, but soon
as they caught sight of us, they tromped over.

“What’re you blokes doing in here?” Link asked, then he saw
me and said, “Hullo, Hayli.  Div’n expect you here.”

“We’re having a meeting,” Red snapped.  “What does it look
like?”

Shade’s mouth twitched, caught somewhere between scorn and
amusement.

“Looks to me like you’re not where you’re supposed to be,”
Vim said, planting his heavy fists on the table.  “Kantian’s looking for you.”

“All of us?” I asked.

“Yeah.  Well, he div’n mention you, Shade.  Suppose you’re
free on the wing.  The rest of you need to come back with us.”

Chapter 10 — Tarik

Some hours later I made my way back to the Hole.  I walked
aimlessly up and down its entire length not once but twice, but I didn’t
realize until I saw her that I’d been searching for Hayli.  After waking up sick
and broken from the meet with Branigan, I’d escaped back to the palace and
spent three days pretending everything was fine, surrounded by all the society
butterflies in their glaring costumes and plastered smiles.  Stars, the memory
pained me just as much as the experience had. 

But somehow in the middle of it all, I’d had a revelation. 
None of those girls could have outshone little Hayli.  Hayli in her grey
trousers and battered waistcoat, Hayli who could turn rain to sun with the
light in her eyes.  Every time I let my mind drift, I remembered the way I’d
smiled at her at Chancy’s, and the way she’d smiled back. 

It scared me even more than the memory of Branigan’s drug.

I found her straddling the old west wall, leaning back on
her hands and staring up at the rarest cloudless sky I’d ever seen.  The breeze
blew in from the northeast, cold and crisp, with a scent like fuel oil and wet
pavement.  At least it drove off the sulphur stench of the fenced-off pipes
beyond the wall. 

I hesitated a moment in the doorway, watching Hayli watch
the sky.  

“Do you miss being able to fly?” I asked suddenly.  The
words bubbled up from somewhere I didn’t know, and escaped before I could cage
them in.

She jumped, wary as a bird, and twisted to face me.  The
corner of her mouth quirked up.

“It’s the best part about Shifting,” she said.  “The first
time I really remember Shifting, I was with a friend.  I must’ve only been
about four.  Anyway, all I remember is we were chasing about, and I div’n want
him to catch me.  Next thing I knew he was hollering at me that I’d turned into
a bird and flown away, and they’d been trying to find me for days and days.  He
was so jealous.”  She laughed faintly.  “I always hoped I’d turned into
something fine, like a hawk or a dove or maybe even something sweet like a
sparrow.  But no.  Derrin’s the one who saw me Shift and told me I was just a
crow.”

“I like crows,” I said, trying to be funny, but it only came
out sounding awkward.

She turned her head, cheeks rosy, laughing.  For once she
wasn’t wearing her hat, and her hair, ragged and short, ruffled in the breeze
with the soft wildness of feathers.  I wanted to tell her how lovely she was,
but I knew she’d want to slap me for it, and I couldn’t risk that. 

The five-oh train whistle cut the silence, the sound
swelling and fading on each wave of wind.  I could feel Hayli studying me as I
strolled out onto the patio toward her, wondering what I’d do.  I wanted to sit
up on the wall with her, but Shade wouldn’t sit on the wall.  Shade would lean
against the mossy stones, cool and indifferent, so that’s what I did.

“You been away a bit,” she remarked, kicking her feet
playfully at me. 

I was glad I stood far enough from her to evade the
contact—or, I should have been glad.  Somehow, strangely, I wasn’t.

“Yes,” I said.

“Dan’ think Kantian was too happy about it.”

“It’s not really his business,” I said, staring straight out
over the park.

“He’d prob’ly say it is.”  I didn’t answer, and after a
minute she leaned forward and rested her elbows on the wall.  “You won’t tell
me where you’d got?”

I glanced at her and couldn’t resist a smile, not the way
she grinned at me through those dark, dazzling eyes.  I shifted around so I
could see her better, not even caring how close it brought me to her.  If I
closed my eyes and concentrated, maybe I would feel the slightest hint of that
static bond hovering in the air between us.  But I couldn’t close my eyes and I
couldn’t concentrate, not the way my heart kept stuttering in confusion.

“Shade?” she asked, ducking her head as if she could see me
better that way.  “You a’right?”

I realized a second too late that I was staring at her
mouth, the way her lips curved in that sweet smile… I cleared my throat and
nodded, and tossed my head back to stare at the sky.  Cloudless, endless blue. 
One day in a million.  Maybe it was an omen.  Maybe a promise.  Maybe today I
should take the chance.

Hayli sat up, resting her hands on her thighs.  The cold
sunlight glanced on the little white scar across her left knuckles.  My fingers
twitched.  At the last minute I raised my hand to run through my hair, only to
remember that I had no hair to mess up, no unkempt hair for Liman to fret over,
no overgrown hair to make me a rebel in society’s slicked-up and over-combed
company.  I ran my hand over the sharp bristles of my shaved head.  I’d almost
forgotten what it felt like to be Prince Tarik, and now the confusion wore down
on me again.

“Say, Shade,” Hayli said, serious suddenly.  “You doing
a’right?  After that business with Branigan…”

I flinched.  My memories of that evening were so scattered,
so vague, so…disturbed…I’d been trying to block them away ever since.  The
worst thing of all was knowing that, for those few brief minutes, I’d
forgotten.  Forgotten all this.  Forgotten all the pain and confusion and the
lies and the deception.  I shuddered, hoping Hayli didn’t notice it. 

The forgetting was almost enough to make me regret the
waking.

“Rivano wants to see if we can get into the Science Ministry
some time,” Hayli went on, startling me out of my thoughts. 

I turned to study her.  “Really?  Us, as in, you and me?”

“Well, I could try to gan with Jig again, but it’s grobbing
hard using non-mages.  They just have so much trouble moving about.  Get the
right kind of mage on a job, and it’s easy as pie.  I mean, I got close as the
crow already.  She heard the…a scientist say some kind of passcode to get in. 
Shondenhaim
. 
So, what do you say?  You can walk in disguised as some kind of fancy-pants
boffin, and I can fly on in as the crow.  Wouldn’t that be swell?”

I clenched my jaw, still stuck on the first thing she’d said
and wishing that she hadn’t brought it up.  I’d just managed to forget how
she’d had a part in Griff’s aeroplane crash, and now the thought of it chilled
the warmth in my blood. 

“What was that all about, anyway?” I asked.  “The last time,
with Jig?”

She shrugged, plucking at a loose thread on her trousers. 
“I only had a wee job to do,” she said, and snorted.  “All I had to do was pick
a lock on a rain grate.  Couldn’t even manage that.  Jig was ganna do the
rest.  Find out how close he could get to the Court before he couldn’t gan any
farther.”

“What for?” I asked, exerting all my will to keep my voice
even.

“Oh, stars, I dan’ na,” she said.  “I div’n like the whole
business.  Kantian’s got screwy notions sometimes.  Sometimes I think he’s
ganned completely off…”  Her voice trailed away, and she flicked a glance over
her shoulder at the door to the Hole.  “Anyway, Kantian’s an anarchist.  I
think Rivano thinks he’s dangerous, but he doesn’t do a thing about it. 
Honestly, they make my head a bit swimmy sometimes, the way they blather on.”

She didn’t know,
I told myself. 
She didn’t mean
any harm.  She’s not an anarchist.

“If you didn’t like the notion, why didn’t you just tell
Kantian you didn’t want to do it?” I asked, picking chips of stone from the
wall.

She sputtered a surprised laugh.  “You dan’ na Kantian too
well, do you?  He would’ve had my hide.  No, really.  He
would have
had
it, except Jig told him it was his fault.  So he had Jig’s hide instead.”

I blew the breath out through my teeth, blood boiling at the
thought of Kantian laying a hand on her.  After a moment I realized she was
watching me, looking rather anxious.

“If you wanted me to hate Kantian,” I said, “you’re doing a
fair job convincing me.”

Her face turned terribly pale, but I didn’t think it was on
account of me.  She leaned toward me and whispered, “Be careful, Shade.  I used
to trust him, but, he’s ganned a bit mad these last few months.  I even
thought…I thought I saw him talking to that scientist, Dr. Kippler.  I dan’ na
for sure though, it was just for a moment.  But why?  Why would he do that? 
I’m so scared of what he’s got planned.  And…and I dan’ think he likes either
of us too well.”

“You think he’s got a thing against mages?” I asked,
frowning. 

If Kantian was meeting with Dr. Kippler…things were far
worse than I’d imagined.

She hesitated, eyes wide, then she gave a thin sigh and
nodded.  “Not the way the elites do, I dan’ think.  But still.  Think he just
wants to use us, is all.  Use us up and then spit us out.  Anything for blood. 
All he wants is war.”

And all these jobs he’s had me do?  He’s got me kindling
the fire, and if I don’t stop, it won’t be the anarchists my family has to fear. 
It’ll be me.

*  *  *  *

I slipped away from the Hole late the next afternoon, when
Hayli and most of the other kids were busy with chores and Kantian’s errands. 
For some time I wandered aimlessly through the streets, shivering from more
than just the cold.  Terror and something else—something I didn’t quite
understand—abraded my thoughts.  I didn’t even realize where I was going before
I stepped into the heavy shadows of the sweet shop, my head hammering almost as
violently as my heart.  A few people crowded in the booths glanced up with
passing interest as my entrance dragged in a gust of icy wind.  I ignored them
all. 

God, I don’t want to be here,
I thought, feeling
sick. 
Do I?
 

I dug my nails against my sweaty palms and scanned the
tables, slowly, until I caught sight of a vaguely familiar figure.

He was deep in conversation with his two toughs, but as soon
as I moved toward him, he fell silent and lifted his head to grin at me.

“Well, Shade,” he said.

“Branigan.”  I braced my fingertips on the tabletop, trying
not to stare at the glass of whiskey in his hand.  “Seems I never did get that
information from you.”

*  *  *  *

“You’re going to lead a demonstration,” Kantian said,
watching me weave my way toward his desk.

I stifled a yawn.  Somehow his words didn’t surprise me; at
that moment I just frankly didn’t care at all what he wanted me to do.  It was
near midnight, and I’d been woken in the middle of a fitful dream to meet with
him.  The way he was still dressed in his suit, I gathered he’d been up all
night.

“You’ve been gone again,” he added.  “Where were you?”

I kicked at the colorful Meritian carpet under his desk,
curling up its red border.  “Went to try to get more information from
Branigan,” I admitted.

I didn’t know why I’d bother telling him.  The meet had gone
exactly as I’d feared…or, maybe exactly as I’d hoped.  I hadn’t gotten a jot of
information from him.  Hadn’t got anything from him but a few more
moments—moments, or days?— of forgetting and a nagging sense that I’d said too
much to him.  I closed my eyes briefly.  I couldn’t decide if I was more
relieved or terrified that I couldn’t remember what I might have said.

“How did that turn out for you?” Kantian asked, giving me a
malicious kind of smile.

I just looked at him, and that was apparently enough.

“Word to the wise, kid?  You can’t win in that situation. 
And if I hear of this happening again, you will find yourself on the streets. 
I can’t afford to have folks hanging about here who will sell me out for a
dose.”

I sell you out for nothing at all,
I thought, but all
I said was, “What kind of demonstration?”

“Just a simple kind of thing.  Nothing too hard for you to
handle, unless you plan on being glassed out and drooling on the floor
tomorrow.”