The Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Treasure Hunt (3 page)

Stink was the first one out of bed the next morning.

“Stink, you’re wearing that striped pirate shirt again? Didn’t you even take a bath?”

“Pirates don’t take baths,” said Stink. “Here, smell my armpit.”

“Gross! You smell worse than a pirate’s monkey on a poop deck!”

“Yarr,”
said Stink.

After Mom and Dad woke up, drank buckets of coffee, and read the paper for a year, they took Judy and Stink to Silver Lake Harbor, where the treasure hunt was about to begin.

“I see it!” said Stink. “I see the pirate ship!”

Before them loomed the tall poles of the three-masted square-rigger, the
Queen Anne’s Revenge II.
Sails flapped like kites in the wind. Kids and families gazed up at the ship in awe.

A ship’s bell clanged several times in a row. Just then, a pirate swung down on a long rope from the yardarm (like Tarzan) and landed on deck with a loud
ker-PLUNK
(not like Tarzan). It was Scurvy Sam!

“Ahoy, ahoy, all ye treasure seekers,” he called. “Welcome to the Third Annual Pirate Island Treasure Hunt. Listen up, scallywags. There be five clues in all. Each clue’ll lead ye to the next. When ye think ye figgered out a clue, turn it in to the nearest Assistant Pirate. They be wearin’ a red sash and givin’ out pieces o’ eight. First one to figger out all five clues and turn in sixteen pieces o’ eight wins the gold doubloon and a ride with me on the
QAR Two.
”

Scurvy Sam held up a silver piece of eight. “I’ll be givin’ ye yer first piece o’ eight. The last one is hidden, and it be harder to find than a bow tie on a pirate.” Everybody laughed.

“If ye be the one to find it, make haste back to me at Pirate Headquarters. No wooden nickels allowed!” Scurvy Sam cackled. “One last thing — ye have until noon tomorrow. When ye hear the ship’s bell, c’mon back to see if anybody won the gold. Everybody who joins in goes home with loot — a big bag o’ pirate booty.”

After a lot more
ahoys, avasts,
and
aye-ayes,
Scurvy Sam unrolled a parchment and read aloud the first clue for all to hear.

“Good luck t’ ye. May ye have strong winds at yer back, only bilge rats for enemies, and a barrel o’ fun. Let the plunderin’ begin!”

Judy and Stink said good-bye to Mom and Dad. “Dad and I are going to the beach. If we don’t see you before noon, we’ll meet you in front of Barnacle Bob’s hot-dog stand at twelve thirty,” Mom said.

“Have fun!” said Dad.

Stink and Judy pushed their way through the crowd, past the big bald man with a small boy on his shoulders, past the lady with three dogs, past the twin kids with Popsicles. When they got to the front, Scurvy Sam was handing out the first piece of eight and the first clue. A girl with braces stepped on Stink’s foot while reaching for her coin.

“Stink, don’t look now. It’s Tall Boy and Smart Girl. The ones from the ferry yesterday.” Judy cast a squinty-eyed look their way.

“Hurry up. Read the clue again,” said Stink. “We have to beat them.” They read the clue three times.

“Tall as a tree,” said Stink. “It’s gotta be the pirate ship. The masts are tall as a tree, and the sails could be the bride’s thingie.”

“It can’t be the ship, Stink. Nobody’s even allowed on the ship unless you win the gold.”

“Then I think it’s a flagpole. A flagpole is as tall as a tree.”

“Well, I saw a church in the town, and it has a tall steeple. And it’s white. A flagpole isn’t dressed in white.”

“It is if it’s painted white,” said Stink. “Like the one I saw in front of the post office.”

“But it doesn’t have a bridal veil,” said Judy.

“It does if it’s flying a white flag,” Stink said.

“All I know is that churches have brides.”

Judy was right. Churches did have brides.
What a bilge rat.

“And you could say churches are up all night,” said Judy. “You know, they’re always open in case people need them.”

“Flagpoles are up all night, too,” said Stink.

“But they take the flag down at the end of the day.”

“Scumbuckets!” Stink said. Judy was right again. “But what about the weeping? People cry when somebody dies, and the flag is put at half mast.”

Stink had a point. “But people cry in churches, too,” Judy said. “Like at a wedding. I say church.”

“Flagpole,” said Stink.

“Church.”

“FLAGPOLE!”

“Hey! I call Pirate Rule Number Eight. No fighting,” said Judy.

“That’s only aboard ship,” said Stink.

“I give in,” said Judy. “Let’s go to
both
places.”