The MacGregor Brides (33 page)

There was literally nothing left for her to do, Julia realized, and felt her eyes well up. Furious with herself, she pushed away from the desk. She had to get out of the house. Go somewhere, anywhere.

* * *

Cullum argued with himself as he drove toward Julia’s. He was behaving like a whipped puppy going
back for another kick. He hated himself for it. She could have called him when she got back to Boston. He’d given her two days to call, hadn’t he?

She was the one who’d gone out of town, so she was the one who should have called.

He intended to point that out to her, in words of one syllable. Then he was going to tell her there were going to be some changes made. They would put things back the way they had been a month ago, or she could just forget it.

When he pulled in front of her house and saw that her car was gone, he could have chewed a fistful of sixpenny nails. Even the anger he’d been able to work up was nothing compared to the need.

Just to see her, to talk to her, to touch her.

“Typical,” he muttered, scowling at the cheery lights of her tree through the graceful window. “She can make me suffer without even being here.”

Deflated, he reached into his pocket, took out the old brushed-gold pocket watch she’d given him for Christmas. How the hell could she know him well enough to choose such a perfect gift, and not know when he was hurting?

What was he going to do about it?

He closed his eyes, let his head rest against the seat. He couldn’t live without her. He’d thought he could, he’d worked for days to convince himself he could. But coming here now, seeing the house they’d worked on together, empty of her, he knew it wasn’t possible.

He didn’t want a life empty of Julia.

He was whipped after all.

* * *

“So what do you think? Everything looks great, doesn’t it?” Julia fussed with her lipstick, barely giving her grandmother the opportunity to speak. “I’m so happy you and Grandpa are here early. Nothing to do, really, but I’m a little nervous, if you can believe it. It’s my first party in the house.”

“Julia—”

“And I really want it to be perfect. How do I look? Do I look all right?”

Anna studied her granddaughter calmly. Julia had chosen a scoop-necked dress in hunter green velvet, the long sleeves snug, the skirt short. Her hair was pinned up, curls escaping strategically. And her eyes, Anna thought, were overbright.

“You look lovely, sweetheart. Why don’t we sit down?”

“I can’t, really. I’ve got to go check on the caterer. People will be here soon, and—”

“Julia.” In her gentle, unarguable way, Anna took Julia’s hand. “Sit down and tell me what hurts.”

“I don’t know.” Julia’s breath hitched before she could control it. “I don’t know what to do, what to feel. Everything is mixed up, messed up. I’m in love with Cullum Murdoch and I can’t make it go away.”

“There now.” Anna led her to the sitting area of the bedroom. “Why do you want to make it go away?”

“He doesn’t love me. He doesn’t even like me anymore. I ruined it, and I don’t know how. I tried to— I stopped arguing with him, even when he was wrong, and I cooked, and everything got weird and we argued. He went away. I went away. I don’t know. He hasn’t even called me since I got home.”

“Have you called him?”

“No. I’m not calling him until he calls me. He was the one who was late and surly. Damn it.” She swiped her fingers under her eyes. “I’m ruining my mascara.”

“You’ll fix it. Now, you’re telling me you had a fight with Cullum and you haven’t made it up yet.”

“Not exactly.” Julia sniffled. “We’re always fighting, we like it.” Feeling foolish, she let out a huge sigh. “Then I realized I was in love with him. I didn’t mean to be, but I was, so I thought if I tried to be a little less … me, I suppose. If I was more agreeable, if I cooked him a few hot meals, he’d fall in love with me and tell me so I could tell him back. And this sounds so lame I can’t believe it’s coming out of my mouth.”

“Neither can I. But being in love often scatters some of the brain cells. Being less you was a mistake.”

“Probably. I just wanted him so much, wanted him to love me. I thought we could start working on the rest after we got to that point. But he doesn’t love me. I don’t want him to. He’s arrogant and argumentative and bossy.”

Patient, Anna opened her evening bag and drew out a tissue to mop at Julia’s now streaming eyes. “Of course he is. You’d walk all over him otherwise, and you’d despise a man who’d let you walk over him. You want one who stands up to you, who stands with you.”

“I thought I could make it all happen. But you can’t make feelings happen any more than you can stop them. They just are.”

“Then you’ve learned a fine lesson. Are you going to tell Cullum yours?”

“So he can sneer at me?”

“Do you really think he would?”

“Maybe not, but he might feel sorry for me. That would be worse.” She shook her head and rose. “I’ll be all right, really. I guess I needed to get that out. I’m sorry I blubbered.”

“Darling, from the day you were born, I’ve never known you to blubber.”

“And I won’t start now.” Determined, Julia moved back to the mirror to repair her makeup. “I want this party to be special. It’s the beginning of my new home, a New Year, a new life.”

“Where are my girls?” Daniel asked at the top of his lungs as he came into the room bearing a tray with three brimming flutes of champagne. “There they are, and more beautiful than they’ve a right to be. We’re drinking to them.”

He set the tray down, and then his wide smile faded when he saw Julia’s tear-streaked face. “What’s wrong, little girl? What’s the matter here?”

“Nothing. I was feeling a little blue.” Julia carefully dried her face. “Men. Why can’t they all be you, Grandpa?”

“What’s the boy done?” he demanded. “Why, if he’s done something to make you cry, he’ll answer to me.”

Julia started to chuckle, but then a wayward thought, a wild and wayward thought, circled in her head and took root. “What boy?”

“That Murdoch boy, of course.” Female tears always terrified him. Daniel paced the room, arms waving. “He’s a fine boy, make no mistake, but I won’t have him causing you a moment’s unhappiness. What’s he done, and I’ll fix it.”

Slowly, Julia turned from the mirror. “How much have you fixed already?”

“Making my little girl cry when she should be on top of the world, kicking up her heels. I’ll have a word with Cullum Murdoch, see if I don’t. And when I finish …” He trailed off, finally catching the gleam in Julia’s eye. “What did you say?”

“How did you know I was crying over Cullum?”

“Well, you said so.” Hadn’t she? A little desperate, Daniel looked to his wife for support, but met a stony stare. “We’ll think no more of it,” he said quickly. “Let’s have that toast.”

“How could you be at the bottom of this?” Julia wondered. “You weren’t here—you didn’t arrange for me to buy the house, or for him to work on it.”

“No indeed.” Grasping the straw, Daniel picked up a glass and handed it to her. His eyes were a bright and innocent blue. “Let’s have a drink to your fine new house. The boy’s work does him credit.”

“But Mr. Murdoch was supposed to be contractor,” Julia murmured. “You’re awfully tight with Michael Murdoch, aren’t you, Grandpa?”

“Known him for years. Fine family, strong stock.”

Julia sucked in her breath, ready to rage. Still spry in his nineties, Daniel skipped back as the knocker beat against the front door.

“Guests arriving. Don’t you worry, I’ll greet them. Anna, help the girl put her face back together. I’ll take care of everything.”

He deserted the field while he still had his head.

“I don’t know how he did it,” Julia began, “but he did.”

“I agree with you.” Anna defeated the indulgent smile that wanted to curve on her lips. “But there’s just no stopping him.”

* * *

It didn’t matter, Julia told herself. Whatever her grandfather had tried to arrange hadn’t worked. She and Cullum had taken care of that. The house was finished, and so were they.

Music swept through the rooms, along with laughter and voices. Family and friends were scattered through the house, exactly as she’d planned, exactly as she’d wanted them. Fires crackled, lights sparkled.

“You’ve made a beautiful home here.” Shelby slipped an arm around Julia’s shoulder. “It’s perfect for you.”

“Yes, it is. I’m putting it on the market next week.”

“What?”

“It’s not a place I want to live in alone.” Her gaze swept the spacious living area, the fine details, the gleam of wood. “There’s too much Cullum in here.”

“Honey, don’t do anything rash.”

“It’s not rash. It’s necessary. I’ll be all right.” She leaned her head against her mother’s. “I always am. I think I might come down to D.C. for a while. I might relocate.”

“You know your father and I would love having you close by, but—”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m going to figure it all out before I do anything. Now, who’s the woman who’s clinging to D.C.?”

“Your brother met her in Maine. She’s a poet. She quotes Elizabeth Barrett Browning incessantly. I’d always been fond of Browning before.”

With a laugh, Julia sipped her champagne. “She’s that irritating?”

“Oh, far more,” Shelby said with feeling. “Believe me. If I thought for a minute he was serious about her, I’d …” Shelby trailed off, and her heart lightened considerably. “You have another guest, Julia.”

“Oh? Who?” She turned and saw Cullum step into the room.

He’d worn a suit, and the damn tie was strangling him. But it had seemed only right that he dress the part. You couldn’t very well come to a fancy New Year’s Eve party in flannel and denim.

And fancy it was—silks and velvets, glittering jewelry, glossy finger food and wine in heavy crystal. She’d put it together, he decided, exactly as it should be. He’d have done the same.

Then he saw her and his heart twisted and he knew she could have just as easily made do with pizza and beer.

She pinned a smile on her face and, assuming the mask of hostess, walked over to greet him. “I’m so glad you made it. What can I get you?”

Listen to her, talking to him as if he were a mild acquaintance instead of her lover. “Got a beer?”

“Sure.” She signaled to a waiter. “Mr. Murdoch would like a beer. You probably know almost everyone, but I’d be happy to introduce you around.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Undoubtedly. And how was your Christmas?”

“It was fine. Yours?”

“Wonderful. We had a nice light snowfall on Christmas Eve.”

“We had sleet.”

“Ah.”

He took the beer the waiter brought him, muttered his thanks and sipped. And noted that Julia was wearing the necklace he’d given her against the creamy flesh exposed by the low-cut dress. “Looks good on you.”

“What? Oh.” She could have cursed herself for giving in to the sentimental urge to wear his gift. “Yes, it’s made for this dress. It’s lovely, Cullum. Thank you so much for thinking of it. I hope you liked your watch.”

It was weighing down his pocket even then. “It keeps good time. Thanks.”

“You’re very welcome. Well, be sure to try the buffet, as well as the canapés that are circling around. If you’ll excuse me.”

His hand clamped hard on her wrist. “Where the hell do you get off, talking to me like this?”

“I have no idea what you mean.”

“Don’t take that snooty tone with me, MacGregor, it doesn’t suit you.”

“You’d better let go of me, Murdoch.”

“The hell I will. I want some answers. I’ve been waiting for you to come up with them, and since you didn’t bother, I’m here to see that I get them.”

“You want answers.” The heat of temper was beginning to blur her vision. “
You’ve
been waiting for answers. Okay, try this one.” Her hand shot out and tipped his glass of beer onto his suit.

She regretted it instantly. It had been petty and foolish. It had been public. She knew several conversations that had been going on around her came to a dead stop. She also knew, by the way Cullum’s eyes kindled, that she couldn’t back down.

“Now that you have your answer, you can leave.”

She intended to turn, walk away with dignity, to laugh off the incident. Later, she could crawl into a hole, but for now she had to maintain her poise.

She shrieked when Cullum boosted her up and tossed her over his shoulder. She cursed him without restraint as he carted her upstairs.

Below, Daniel hooked an arm sentimentally around Michael Murdoch’s shoulders. He sighed, blinked a tear from his eyes. “Aye, they’ll give us fine babies, Michael.”

“Let’s drink to it.”

With a hoot of laughter, Daniel watched his granddaughter disappear up the stairs. “I’ll buy the first round.”

* * *

Cullum marched straight to Julia’s bedroom, ignoring the punches and kicks, ignoring the wet jacket and the yeasty smell of spilled beer. Inside, he kicked the door shut, turned the lock, then tossed her unceremoniously onto the bed.

She continued to spit at him as he dragged off his soiled suit coat. In all the years he’d known her and fought with her, he hadn’t known her to be quite that inventive with the language. When she started to scramble off the bed, he merely put a hand on her head and shoved her back.

“Stay put, and be quiet.”

“You think you can order me around, after that hideous and revolting scene?”

“You started it.” And at least it gave him an excuse to pull off his tie. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you. One day you’re up, the next you’re down. One minute you can’t do enough for me, the next you talk like you barely know me. You haven’t even bothered to get in touch with me in a week.”

“I haven’t bothered?
I
haven’t? Is your finger broken, that you can’t dial a damn phone?” Then, to his horror and her humiliation, she buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

“Don’t do that. I mean it, cut it out right now.” At his wit’s end, he dragged both hands through his hair. “Okay, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

“For what?” she asked, still weeping.

“For anything you want that’ll make you stop crying.”