THE LYIN’ KING (3 page)

"So Mama, we gonna watch movies tonight? With popcorn and blankets?"

I giggled looking down at him as we made our way around to the front of the school toward the bus stop.

"Sure baby, what movie you wanna watch?"

"I don't know mama, I'll have to see when we....."

"Miss Williams!!!"

Thias was interrupted by the sound of someone calling my name, but this time it wasn't my professor or the school counselor. “Miss Williams!!!" they called out once more.

I turned toward the building's parking lot from where the sound of the voice was coming from. Thias stretches his arm out and points toward an industrial size truck.

"Mama, you know that man?" My eyes follow his finger and jogging towards us was the same man that almost hit me with his car that night before.

"No baby, I don't know him."

"But Mama he's saying your name and he's coming this way." Thias said with confusion. "You don't know him mama but I think he might know you."

"Yeah Thias I know of him. I don't really know him though."

"Mama but I don't understand." I grabbed Thias hand and pulled him to me as Arsen got closer. He was smiling from ear to ear and politely waving, like he had just seen someone famous or something. He finally reached us, looking down at Thias he says, "What's up little man?"

With the raise of one eyebrow Thias replies, "I'm not sure if you're a stranger or not. My mama said she knows OF you, but she don't know you." I smiled covering up my mouth with my free hand.

"It's ok Thias, you can tell him hi."

"Hi sir." Thias replied politely.

"Hey, so what's your name?" Arsen responds, squatting down in front of him with his hand out.

Thias gives him high five and says "Thias!"

"I like that name! Mine is Arsen."

"Arsen? What does that mean?" I quickly intervened.

"Thias, what makes you think it means anything?"

Arsen responded, "Because he's right! It does. It means "Strong King", little man. What does yours mean?" Thias looks up at me and then back at Arsen.

"I'm not sure."

"It’s ok. I’m sure your mom has a meaning for it." He assures Thias as he stands up to acknowledge me. "Sage." he calls my name softly staring me in my eyes.

“Arsen.” I replied. “What are you doing here?”

“Just bringing my niece some lunch. I’m glad I came.” he responded. Just then the bus pulls up to the bus stop. I tug on Thias arm.

"Come on baby before we miss the bus!" I move toward the bus stop. Arsen grabs my arm.

"Sage, I can take you guys where you need to go." I paused, looking at him through the strands of my locs hanging in my face and then at the bus as the line gets shorter.

"I don't know you and you don't need to know where I live. We are fine on the bus."

"Well fine." He says, pulling receipt paper out of his pants pocket and scribbling on it with a pen he had in his shirt pocket.

"Please just take my number this time, and use it. I'd really like to get to know you."

He stuffed the paper in the palm of my hand, folding my fingers closed as if to make sure I don't drop it. I looked over to the bus; the last couple of people were getting on. I stuffed the paper down in my jacket pocket. Before turning around to walk away I smiled and said, "Bye Arsen."

"See you later Sage." Thias and I began running toward the bus. We made it just in time before the doors closed. Heading down the aisle I found myself following Arsen with my eyes as he made his way back to what seemed to be his work truck. We sat down in the middle row and I was still staring out the window, surprised that I had seen him again. Thias looks up at me and smiles. "Mama I like him."

I frizzed up his hair and kissed him on the cheek. "Silly! You don't even know him."

Smiling, I looked out the window; secretly thanking the universe for yet another chance encounter.

Thias had been out of school since that Tuesday and he had all weekend to feel better. He's been jumping off the walls and swinging from light fixtures with excitement, from all the time we've been able to spend together. Resting my back against the headboard of my bed, I watch as he tumbled back and forth.

"Mama?" he pants as he jumps. "I love being home with you."

I smiled admiring how much he loves just spending time with me. I thought of taking him to the movies today; but my check was a little short from missing a few days this week. He didn't seem to mind though. He's such an appreciative kid; just the little things matter to him.

"I love being home with you too."

"Mama?" he said once more. "Yes, love?"

"This girl in my class…." he began, ".…Amber. She says her mom stays home all the time while her daddy goes to work." I look at him dreading where I know this conversation is going next.

"Okaaayyyy....." I respond, waiting for something more.

"That's it, that's all I wanted to say." He drops down beside me, resting his head on my thigh. I began running my fingers through his curls, twirling them around my finger. I never really had a conversation about how he feels about his...you know, Sperm donor. Although, I can't blame his father too much. We were both young and immature. The only difference is, I grew up after Thias was born. His father? Well, he still has a ways to go.

"Pumpkin? Is there something you want to talk to me about?" I asked, desperately hoping he would say no.

"Mama, I just think you work too hard, all by yourself."

I leaned over pushing his hair back and planting a kiss on his forehead. "Thias, you don't worry your little heart about how hard mommy works. That’s what Mamas do.  I will always work to take care of you, and there is nothing wrong with that, ok?" He lifts up and looks me directly in my eyes.

"But Mama! That's not the way it’s supposed to be. You're not supposed to be by yourself." His voice began to crack as if he wanted to cry. I could see the tears trying to form in the corner of his eyes.

"Pumpkin....Pumpkin." I said with a smile, grabbing both sides of his face, rubbing our noses together. "I'm not by myself, I have you. If I have nothing else in this world, I have you." Trying to end this conversation, I started a tickle match. He laughed and laughed, yelling out "OK MAMA! Ok OK OK!! Stop it!" I grabbed him giving him hug.

"Now go get your night clothes ready! I'll run you some water so you can play battleship in the tub!! Only for thirty minutes though, ok? You have school tomorrow!"

"Ok Mama!" He jumps off the bed onto the floor with a thump; running out the room yelling, "Captain Thias! Prepare for battle!!!!"

I held my head down trying not to cry, expecting him to come barging back in my room any minute now. I stood up heading towards the bathroom to start his bath water. My foot got tangled up in the arm of my jacket that was thrown on the floor while Thias was jumping on the bed. I started to chuckle. “If I had put it in the right place to begin with, I wouldn't have tripped”, I scolded myself. It’s funny how we fuss at our children for the same things we do. I bend over to pick up my jacket tossing it back onto my bed, when a piece of paper fell out. I pick it up, carrying it into the bathroom with me. I plugged up the tub running the water and adjusting the temperature, so that it is just right. I started to feel dizzy again. That's been happening a lot lately. I should probably drink more water, amongst other things that I’m not doing to take care of myself. I look over to the bathroom mirror. I could see my baby fat peeking out from the bottom of my t-shirt. I guess I could stop calling it baby fat now, Thias is almost seven. I shouldn’t be using that as an excuse anymore. I sat down on the toilet, disgusted from looking at my midsection, waiting for the water to finish running. Thias runs in the bathroom completely naked.

"Mama! I got all of my battle gear!!!" he warns, as he tossed each toy in the tub.

"Oh yea? Well, what about your after battle gear?" I asked, looking for his night clothes.

"I forgot mama!" he replied laughing.

"Don't worry about it, I'll get them." I stood up to walk out the bathroom. "Hurry up Captain, you only got thirty minutes and I'm timing you!" He laughed and jumped in the tub splashing around. I walked into his room to search for some clean night clothes. I opened my hand to reach for the drawer, and the paper fell again. I almost forgot I had it. I sat at the edge of Thias’s bed and opened it. "Ace", it read, with a telephone number and a heart. I have had this number for almost a week!
“Maybe I should call.”
I thought.
“What if he's busy and doesn't have time to talk? Even more important, what would I say? What if my situation is too much for him?”
He might think I have too much baggage. Honestly, I really do. I'm just not prepared to give a man any time right now. I'm not where I want to be. I have nothing to offer. Maybe I shouldn’t call. I couldn’t bring anyone into my mess right now and expect them to actually want to stick around. I should wait. That's what I will do. I'll wait until I have my shit together and a little more stable.
“Damnit Sage! There you go again! It's not like he's trying to marry you. Just talk, right? You can talk. No, I should wait. I should wait to call”.

"MAAAAA!!!!" The sound of Thias screaming shook me. I dropped the paper and ran down the hall to my bathroom.

"What is it baby? What's wrong?"

He looks at me with his round eyes and grins. "I captured all the bad guys’ mommy; I'm ready to get out."

I let out a big sigh with my hand over my chest. "Oh, well get out then silly! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" He jumps out the tub and I hand him the towel. I remembered that I never got his night clothes as I said, "Dry yourself off Pumpkin. I gotta run and get your clothes."

Pacing down the hallway I began to think, maybe I should call? Walking into his room I grabbed some PJs out the drawer, dropping the pants on the floor as I struggled to close the drawer.
“Got it!”
I said to myself, finally getting the drawer closed. Kneeling down I scooped up his pants, and there was the paper. I looked at it. Maybe I should. Kneeling down once more I grabbed the paper and headed back to my bathroom.  Thias was standing there all wrapped up in the towel.

“I'm soooo tired."

Handing him his night clothes, I replied, "Well good! I don't have to fight with you to go to sleep then, right?"

"Not tonight, mama. Maybe tomorrow, but I'm tired tonight." I smiled, watching him throw on his PJs like he had somewhere important to be and was running late.

"Ok, come on let me tuck you in Captain!"

Reaching for his hand, I walked him down the hallway into his room. He jumps in bed and pulls the covers over himself. I sat down beside him kissing his forehead then both sides of his cheeks. "Goodnight, Pumpkin. Sweet dreams." He looked at me holding his arms out wanting a hug. I lean in and he wraps his arms around my neck.

"You are the best Mommy in the world. I love you." he whispers in my ear.

"Awwww, thank you baby. Goodnight, I love you." I got up, turned on his spider man night light, and walked back to my room.

I laid down on my bed, opening up the paper once more….staring at the number.
“Should call?”
I asked myself. I look over at my nightstand where my cell phone was charging. I should…. I'm going to call. I reach over and grab my phone. Pulling up the dial screen, I began to enter in the numbers. 5...5....5. I stopped and erased them. Maybe I shouldn't.
“Call, Sage.”
I tell myself.
“Call, what's the worst that could happen?”
I began to dial again, this time at a much faster pace so I wouldn't talk myself out of it. 555-473-0960, send. The phone begins to ring. Once, twice, three.... "Hello?" I gasped. I was hoping it went to voicemail; but it was him. I couldn't say anything. My mouth wouldn't move. "Sage?" he said. I hung up the phone. How did he know it was me?  My phone begins to ring. I look at the number. Oh my goodness! It's him. I took in a deep breath and answered, "Hello?"

"Sage? So you gonna call and hang up?" he asked. I could hear him smiling through the phone.

"I didn't..." I began to stutter. I don’t know why he made me nervous. "I didn't mean to hang up. I just didn't expect you to answer the phone."

"Why wouldn't I answer? I've been waiting all week for this call."

He's been waiting all week, tuh! That made me smile, but I couldn’t give in. "Why? I'm really not that great, you know?" I said sarcastically.

"You have to be great if I like you."

That's something people are "supposed" to say. I doubt he was sincere about it. Trying to maintain my mean girl persona he encountered when we first met, I replied, "You don't know me, Arsen. That was the polite thing to say, but I am a big girl. You don't have to be nice because it's the right thing to do."

"It is the right thing to do Miss Lady.  I'm not going to be mean, because you're not used to someone being nice." he replied. I got quiet. What could I possibly say to that? "I'm glad you called me. What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm lying across my bed; just put my son to sleep. What are you up to?" I asked trying to keep the conversation going.

“I was reading." he said. Oh! He reads, I thought to myself.

"Reading what?" "The Bible." he responds. He reads the Bible at that? There was a pause.

"Well, I didn't mean to disturb you. You can call me back if you’d like?" I suggested. "Sage, it's fine. I want to talk to you."

"Oh ok." I continued. "So what is your religion?"

He exhaled as if the question struck some type of nerve. "Religion is man-made. I have a relationship with God and an understanding of the Universe."

"Interesting." I replied.

"Oh yea? How so?" he asked.

"I mean that is an interesting concept, especially nowadays with everyone stamping a religion on what is right or wrong."

“I am not guided by what man’s idea of who God is, and I don’t need the validation of being a certain religion to solidify my relationship with God.  Besides, it’s really just a way people justify the twisted interpretation of the bible, by attaching it to a religion." he explained.

“Do you believe that prayer works?” I asked curious to get his opinion.

“I believe that prayer is a healer.” he responded. “You asked that question as if you’re unsure of the power of prayer?”

“I have a very painful past. I just doubt sometimes that God heard my prayers.” 

"You know what baby girl….that's life. Everything in it is beautiful, even in the pain. That's when lessons are best learned. And this journey is all about growth for your soul."

Listening to him talk about life was refreshing. He was so hopeful and believed there to be more to life than the present moment. I couldn't imagine him ever being this deep when we first met. I guess I was quiet for too long, when he asked, "What are you thinking?"

"Nothing, just reflecting. I like the way you think Arsen." He laughed.

"You like the way I think? Well that's good to know. What do you like to do? In your free time?"

"I don't do much between school, work and Thias. I don't even paint as much as I used too."

"Paint?" he asked with excitement.

"Yes, I'm an artist. Well aspiring artist. I guess I won't be considered an artist until I actually sell my work."

"No, you are an artist. It's already in you. It's all about how you see yourself." I smiled. "Are you always this positive?" I asked.

"Where I came from in life, that is the only way to be."

We continued our conversation for hours. This did not feel like the first conversation we ever had. It was so familiar to me. The laughing and minor debates about life, the flow of energy felt as if we had been here before. I'm not sure when or where, but this can't be the first time our souls have crossed paths. My phone began to beep. "Damnit! My phone is dying."

"I don't want it to end either." he said. I smiled. That's exactly what I meant.

"I can call you tomorrow." I suggested.

"Do you have class in the morning?" he asked.

"No, I've sort of been dropped from this class. So I won't be back in school until next semester." I replied, completely forgetting the little spat I had with my professor last week.

"There’s somewhere I would like to take you tomorrow, if you don't mind spending the day with me?"
“Uh oh!”
I thought to myself.
“Were just supposed to talk, Sage. I can't go anywhere with him, then it would be like a date.”
"If it makes you feel better, we won't call it a date. I just want to show you something I think you might like." He insisted, almost as if he heard my thoughts.

"Well, I have to drop Thias off at school by 8:30. I still don't think you should know where I live so you can pick me up from there if you don't mind?"

"That's fine with me, whatever makes you comfortable."

"Ok then, see you in the morning?"

"Yes. Goodnight Sage." "Good night Arsen." We both began to laugh as neither of us had the courage to immediately end the call.