The Lumberjack's Bride (18 page)

As if she suddenly remembered, Julianne frantically searched the ground around her. “The baby, where's the baby?” Tears formed as she searched the area for the child.

“Julianne.” Caleb drew her attention back to himself. When he was sure he had her full attention once more he continued. “The baby is fine. Runs Swiftly just left with him. He needs nourishment.”

Julianne cradled his face in trembling hands. “I thought you were dead. My uncle said he would kill the baby if I didn't go with him. Marcus killed my uncle.”

Caleb pulled her to him. “I know.” His gaze moved to Marcus. What kind of man threatened and hurt a woman? It was a question that would never be answered for him. He pulled his wife into his embrace and held her tight.

* * *

His gentle hands rubbed her back. His warm voice soothed, offering words of comfort, while his heart beat strongly under her cheek. Julianne clung to his shirt. Deep sobs racked her insides, fear and anxiety slowly releasing their tenacious holds on her body. Her tears drenched the front of his shirt. She didn't ever want to leave his protective arms. Now that they were together again, Julianne decided she never wanted to be where Caleb was not.

When he scooped her up and stood, Julianne wrapped her arms around his neck, her face resting against his jaw. At the base of his throat a pulse beat and swelled as though his heart had risen from its usual place. She placed her lips against it, and it made her feel good. She was so glad to be with him.

“Let's go home.” Caleb carried her to the horse that waited under a nearby tree.

“Home,” she sighed. Her body ached and her eyelids felt heavy.

Caleb stood beside the animal. “Sweetheart, we have to get on the horse.”

What if this was a dream? It had to be a dream. Caleb had never called her sweetheart. What if he wasn't real? Fear caused her to tighten her grip around his neck. “Don't leave me, Caleb.”

“I'm not going to leave you.” He hugged her close, his breath fanning her cheek. He brushed a gentle kiss across her forehead.

The warmth in his voice assured her. She released her hold on him. He set her down on the ground and made a stirrup with his hands. She put one foot in his hand and allowed him to give her a lift up onto the horse.

“Caleb, would you get my uncle's personal belongings? They are over there.” She pointed to where Marcus lay. “I want to send them home to my aunt.”

He nodded. He retrieved the bags and handed them to her. Caleb swung up behind her and took the rope in his hands, resting his arms on each side of her. She placed the bags across her lap.

Julianne leaned back against him and enjoyed his warmth and strength. If this was a dream, she prayed she'd never wake up.

“We'll be home soon,” he assured her.

She felt as though she was forgetting something, but her tired mind refused to focus. The warmth of Caleb surrounded and comforted her. Sleep pulled at her. Her eyelids grew heavy.

Then she remembered.

Julianne sat up and pulled away from Caleb's embrace. “Oh, Caleb. Where is Jonathan?” she cried.

He gently pulled her back against him. “Jonathan is fine. Morning Star has him. Don't worry, he's safe, Julianne.”

“You met Morning Star?” Dread filled her tired mind. She had wanted to be the one to tell him everything. More tears ran silently down her face. “I'm sorry,” she whispered.

He placed his head on top of hers. “So am I, Julianne.”

Julianne couldn't fight the fatigue any longer. She was frozen in limbo where all decisions and actions were impossible to make. She was aware that Caleb spoke softly to her, but his words didn't register in her dizzied senses. Gradually his voice drifted into a hushed whisper and she fell asleep in his arms.

* * *

Caleb cradled his wife against him. Even dirty, she smelled of lavender. He rested his head on hers and inhaled deeply. He silently thanked the Lord for her safety.

By the time they reached the cabin, the first streaks of dawn spanned out over the heavens, pinkish in hue.

He was tired and sore, but he had to admit he was a happy man. His wife was safe and resting in his arms.

As he rode into the yard, Maggie ran out to meet him. “I'm so glad you're back! I have been worried sick.”

He nuzzled Julianne's hair one last time. “Sweetheart, wake up. We're home.”

She stirred in his arms, and then snuggled deeper into his chest.

“How is she?” Maggie stood beside the horse looking up at them.

Caleb shifted Julianne's weight. “She's tired. I don't think she's slept at all in the last five days.”

“We'll have her in her nice warm bed in no time.” Maggie's loud voice carried on the morning mists.

Julianne pulled herself from the deep sleep. She straightened up and looked down at Maggie. Then she burst into tears.

“Now, now, let's get you down from there.” Maggie soothed, as Caleb pulled the bags off Julianne's lap and handed them to Maggie, who set them on the ground. Then, he lowered Julianne until she was within Maggie's warm embrace.

As soon as her feet touched soil, Julianne fell into Maggie's arms and sobbed. “It was awful, Maggie.”

The older woman drew her into the house. “I'm sure it was, child.” She made a couple of clicking noises with her tongue.

“What you need is a nice, hot bath.” She eased Julianne into the rocker and headed outside for the washtub.

Julianne kept a tight rein on her thoughts refusing to think about the last few days. She looked around the cabin and silently thanked God she was safe from harm. Everything took on a deeper meaning. The love of her peaceful home, the care Caleb had given her since the first day he married her and the cradle next to her bed. Caleb and Jonathan were her life and what a blessed life it was.

Maggie dragged the metal bathtub into the kitchen. “Caleb's taking care of the livestock and said he'd be in later.” She went back outside, returned with Julianne's belongings and set them to the side of the door.

“I'll help bring in the water.” Julianne stood slowly. Every muscle in her body ached. A soak in hot water would do her a world of good.

“You'll do no such thing. There's fresh coffee on the stove. Why don't you pour us a cup? I'll get the water going, and then you can tell me all about your adventures.”

Julianne limped to the stove and filled two cups with hot coffee as Maggie carried the water inside. While the water heated Julianne told Maggie about her uncle and her life before she came to Washington. Then she told Maggie about the abduction and the time that she'd spent with Marcus and her uncle.

Maggie poured the heated water into the tub and crossed the room to the door. “Well, it's all over now, and you're home safe. I'm going to go check on that man of yours. It's time I tell him I was wrong and you aren't expecting a wee one any time soon.” She closed the door behind her.

The warm water relieved Julianne's aches, but tiredness enveloped her as she tried to think. She'd lost weight. She felt drained, hollow and lifeless. She scrubbed the horror of the days away. Pain seeped from her body, and her eyes grew drowsy once more.

After a long soak, she finally felt human enough to get out of the tub. Dressed in her nightgown, she walked slowly to the bed and decided to lie down for a few minutes. She crawled into the big bed and pulled the quilt over her shoulders. Soon she was fast asleep, but her dreams tormented her. She was being chased. Someone threatened to kill Jonathan. A face lingered around the edges of her mind, torturing her. She remembered keen, probing eyes. There was blood everywhere, and though she tried hard, she couldn't get it off her hands. She was trapped. Suddenly, the image focused in her memory. Marcus. She screamed and sat straight up in the bed.

“Shhh. I'm here now. You're safe, sweetheart.” Caleb's soothing voice penetrated the horror. Large hands took her face and held it gently. “It was a nightmare.” His hands slipped to her shoulders, and he pulled her against him. Gathering her into his arms he held her snugly.

Julianne buried her face against the corded muscles of his chest, and the trembling in her body slowly subsided. She began to relax as he rocked her back and forth.

Sometime later she woke sore and disoriented. The soft sounds of Caleb's snores comforted her. Until she realized they were beside her instead of overhead.

Turning on her side to face him, she studied his profile. His features were softened in sleep. Mentally, she reviewed his qualities. He had searched for her, all the while thinking she'd betrayed him with another man. She'd slept in his arms on the ride home, and he'd kissed her hair and whispered endearments. He had unlocked her heart and soul and every day her love for him had deepened and intensified.

In her dreams he had come and saved her from Marcus. Had he really been talking to her last night? Told her she was safe? In her heart, she knew he had.

Julianne's gaze moved to the cradle. Caleb had said the baby was with Morning Star. Did he know how she'd met the Indian woman? Was he aware that she'd done the loggers' laundry for the last couple of months?

She slipped from the bed. Her legs were stiff and sore. Ignoring the pain, she moved to the little wooden box. Julianne eased the lid open and looked at the money. If she hadn't done the last batch of laundry, would her uncle have found her?

Now that he was dead, Julianne realized she no longer had to fear or lie. She could be a real wife to Caleb and a real mother to Jonathan. She closed the lid on the box. Would Caleb want a real wife? Or was he happy with things the way they were?

“How do you feel?”

Julianne jumped. When had he awakened? She turned to Caleb and looked through one eye. “I'm sore.”

He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

Julianne carried the little wooden box to the bed and sat down on the edge. “I'm sorry, Caleb.”

* * *

Caleb raised his head. His gaze fell to the box. Was she going to tell him about the money now? Or was she going to tell him she was leaving? He swallowed the lump that suddenly developed in his throat.

He'd heard Marcus confess that her uncle had taken the money for her passage to Washington. And now, with her uncle dead, Julianne had no reason to stay with him. She no longer needed his protection.

“So am I.”

“There are so many things I need to tell you.”

He watched her rub the lid of the box. Caleb scooted off the bed. “You don't have to tell me anything. With your uncle gone, you don't need my protection anymore. I won't hold you to the marriage, Julianne.” He pulled his boots on over clean socks.

“You don't want to be married to me?” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

He shut his eyes and kept his head down, knowing that hurt and longing would be naked in his eyes. “Without your uncle threatening you, I'd think you would be ready to move on.”

He hurt.

His chest hurt, his throat hurt, but most of all the pain in his heart left him empty. He couldn't meet her gaze.

“I see.” Julianne dumped the money on the bed. “So I scrubbed other men's dirty clothes for nothing.” He heard the bitterness in her voice.

What was she talking about? Caleb raised his head and saw the money on the bed.

Julianne jerked her bag out from under the bed. “I'll leave here with nothing more than what I brought with me. I thought you might learn to love me, Caleb Hansen. I thought you wanted to start an apple orchard and a family with me. I'm such a fool.” Her words were loaded with self-ridicule and held a tinge of sourness.

“I'm giving you your freedom.” His eyes stung. Why was she acting as though he'd done something wrong?

She stopped shoving clothes in the bag and turned to face him. “Why?”

The whispered question hung between them.

He took a step closer to her. “I thought that was what you wanted.”

“Why would I want to leave the only man I ever loved? I have washed clothes three times a week since I married you to raise money. First, I thought it was to pay you back the money you paid Sloan. Then, it became a way to make your dream come true. To start the apple orchard.”

He took another step forward. “You did that for me? You love me?”

At her half nod Caleb swept her into his arms.

He buried his face in her hair. He tightened his hold as she clung to him.

After long moments, he drew away so he could look into her eyes.

“Julianne, I didn't realize how much I loved you until you were gone. I thought I would go out of my mind when I realized someone had taken you from me.” He rained kisses across her forehead, his hands encircling her neck. “I never want to lose you again. You have become my life, my reason for being.” He cupped her face in his hands and gently kissed her. When he pulled away, he whispered against her lips, “My best friend.”

“Then don't send me away.” She covered his hands with hers. “I never want to be apart from you again.”

“This is more than I ever dared hope for.” Caleb seemed to search for words to explain what he meant. “To love you this much is a powerful feeling, but to have you love me back the same way is wonderful beyond words. It's almost…”

“Spiritual?”

“Yes!” he exclaimed huskily. “I feel spiritually married to you.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and he enclosed her in a tight hug. He felt her trembling and drew back in remorse.

“Oh, Julianne, I'm sorry. You should be in bed resting and here I am tiring you out.” He smoothed the covers back and lifted her into the bed.

She clung to his hand, refusing to let him go. “You've had a rough several days, too.”

His heart felt as though it might explode. He lay beside her and wrapped her securely in his arms.

Chapter 17

T
hey woke together. She stretched, and her stomach growled noisily.