The Low Notes (30 page)

Chapter Sixty-Four

Nina woke up with her head against Kevin’s bare chest, feeling the rise and fall of his breathing. She had the kind of rested feeling she’d only recently become accustomed to. It was the feeling of a sluggish body, worn out from love making and a tranquil mind from being so at ease with Kevin. She lifted her head and rested her chin lightly against the tight muscles of his chest.

“
You’re awake,” he mumbled.

Nina nodded and smiled lazily. The loft was a dim amber shade, painted by the sunset through the trees outside. They’d been in bed all day, sleeping for at least a few hours.

“
Should we go to the grocery store?” she asked.

Kevin cleared his throat and began smoothing his hands over Nina’s hair.

“
I was thinking we should go out to dinner. A date.”

Nina propped herself up on her side and met his stare. “Really?”

His eyes were soft and his face, bathed in the orange glow coming from the skylights above them, looked angelic to her. “Yes really. Would you like that?”

She pulled her bottom lip in to her mouth and stifled a girlish grin.

“
Yes, Kevin. I'd love a second date with you.”

****

The restaurant wasn’t very busy and it was a far cry from the fancy bistro where they’d had their first date. This place was a real barbeque pit. It was a hole in the wall, paper-towel-roll-on-the-table kind of place. But Nina was beaming sitting at the wooden table gazing across at Kevin.

“
Are you going to tell me about the cabin?” she asked.

Kevin glanced down at the one page menu, the laminated edges peeling back and curling. “What do you mean? You saw it. What’s there to tell?”

“
Um, you said you own it, there’s pictures of you and your dad all over the place but when I mentioned you going there as a kid, you made a face and shut up. So...are you going to tell me about the cabin?” Her face wasn’t quite stern but she was determined to get an answer. He sighed and put the menu down.

“
It was my dad’s,” he said.

Nina’s eyebrows moved slightly inward, a signal for him to continue.

“
I had no idea about the cabin until he died and I started going through the estate. He...” Kevin stopped when the waiter came over, a surly sight of a man with a bandana tied around his head and an apron around his waist. Nina gave a waning smile to Kevin and they ordered their dinner.

Kevin cleared his throat after the waiter stepped away. “The cabin was Dad’s hideaway, I guess. This secret place he went to and never once told me about. When I first found out I was furious. Even when I saw it filled with pictures of the two of us, I was still angry at him. That he felt the need to hide a part of himself from me. Taking trips to get away from me. It hurt.”

Nina reached across the table, humidity sticking her flesh to its surface. Kevin grabbed her hand and she felt a surge of excitement at the joy of holding his hand in front of others shamelessly.

“
I get it now, though,” his eyes lowered as he spoke and a subtle smile crept on his face.

“
What do you mean?” Nina asked.

“
I understand what it’s like to have something you love so much that you don’t want to share. And I also understand how hard it is to have a secret. I imagine whoever he shared that cabin with, whatever happened there, it was important to him and I have to respect that.”

Nina smiled at him, her lips turning up ever so slightly. She squeezed his hand, still resting on the table.

“
Tell me about him,” she said.

“
You read the book, you already know,” he uttered.

Nina felt a pitch in her stomach as she remembered her icy words to Kevin about his father. She glanced back up at him and grimaced. She wanted to apologize but didn’t know how. Kevin squeezed her hand in return and gave her a knowing smile.

“
We were best friends. When I got old enough, I figured out just how much he sacrificed for me. You know, he was traveling the world having this grand adventure. The thing between him and my mom was just supposed to be a fling. I'm sure he had plenty of them. But then I came along. He didn’t have to marry her, but he did. And strangely enough, he really loved her. It was clear to see that when she got sick. I was five years old and the cancer progressed pretty fast. God but he loved her. He loved her until the day he died,” Kevin sighed and absently smirked, lost in his own memories.

“
After mom died he got a job at the bank in Detroit and we moved. He was an amazing father and he taught me everything I never thought I needed to know. He was teaching me with every simple word he ever said to me. I’m still learning from him.” Kevin pushed his hand through his hair and then rubbed at his brow for a moment.

Nina caught a glimpse of his eyes, glassy with the threat of tears. She remembered the night Kevin cried to her on his father's birthday and felt her heart ache for him all over again.

Soon the waiter was back, carrying plates almost overflowing with baby back ribs and French fries. Nina laughed at the mountains of food placed in front of them. When she looked back up at Kevin he just smiled, the moisture gone from his eyes, a content look on his face.

The night was as close to perfection as Nina could have imagined. She and Kevin talked with ease about their lives and reminisced about what led them to this point. Neither made mention of the future. Nina left out James and Todd. Kevin kept quiet about college and the summer. They were still holding on to two different people, the one’s living and loving in the moment and the one’s dreading what was inevitably bound to happen.

Chapter Sixty-Five

Kevin drew in a deep breath and rolled over expecting to let his arms wrap around Nina but the sheets next to him were cold. There was no clock in the room and it was almost too dark to see. It had surely been hours since they'd come home from dinner. Hours since she’d fallen asleep in his arms.

He sat up slowly and looked around the room, searching for a sign of her. Kevin climbed out of bed and started down the steps, calling out Nina’s name in a whisper. The kitchen was empty but he saw steam coming from the tea kettle on the stove. A spoon sat on the wooden countertop with the remnants of sugar and warm tea pooled at its lowest point and Kevin smiled at the subtly sweet notion of Nina needing a midnight cup of tea.

From the front door he heard a noise and moved cautiously toward it. The screen door was open, letting the cool night air inside and he saw Sasha sitting next to one of the rocking chairs that was moving just barely, creaking. As he opened the rickety screen door, he saw her.

“
Nina?” Kevin asked, moving to her side.

She was curled up in the large rocking chair, wrapped in a blanket and cradling her mug of hot tea with a blank stare on her face.

She shook her head absently. Kevin put a hand on her arm and waited for a reply, worried by the vacant look in her eyes. Nina didn't react to his touch, she only continued moving her head slowly back and forth, staring off into the distance.

“
It’s never going to be like this again,” she whispered.

“
What are you talking about?” Kevin asked.

“
When we get back to Wexley, it won’t be the same. We can't go out to eat. We can't stay the night with each other. We can never be a real couple.”

He took her tea from her and set it on the table between the two oak rockers, a wrinkle set deep in his brow, his eyes locked on her porcelain face. His heart ached for her and the guilt he felt was only building each time he was faced with the truth regarding the amount of stress she was under. The back of his mind was screaming the answer to it all but he wasn’t ready to lose her. To give her up.

“
Come back to bed, we can talk about all of this later,” he said, touching her hand, trying to coax her forward.

Nina snatched her hand back from him fiercely and shot him a look. Kevin stood stunned, holding his hands up in surrender. His eyes lowered in shame, Nina still stared coldly up at him.

“
Don’t do that,” she growled.

“
What?” His voice was barely a whisper.

“
I know you’re trying to protect me but avoiding the topic is only making it harder. We’re running out of time.”

“
We have all summer,” Kevin retorted hastily.

Nina rolled her eyes at him and shook her head again. It was Kevin holding on to the fairy tale now.

“
I got a call from Caldwell a few days ago. I've been accepted into the summer program,” she evaded his gaze as she confessed.

Kevin sat down next to her once again, waiting for her to continue.

“
My dad thinks it's a good opportunity…” her voice trailed off.

“
But you haven‘t decided yet, right?” he asked.

Nina glanced at him and he knew.

“
Well. Okay. Glad we talked about it,” he spat. He stood and walked past her quickly going back inside.

“
Kevin, wait...” Nina pleaded from behind him.

He turned, frozen in the doorway, gawking at her incredulously. Standing feet apart in the entryway of his father’s cabin, he’d never felt further from her.

“
This could be a really great thing for me. And we both knew I’d have to go at some point,” she sighed.

“
I know that. But we
still
have time together. What about the next few weeks?” Kevin asked, throwing his hands in the air.

“
What about them, Kevin? Are you going to take me to prom? Sit with my family at graduation?”

Her mouth snapped shut as soon as she said it. Kevin blinked a few times and kept his eyes off Nina, scanning the dark cabin in silence. The quiet burned in Kevin’s ears and he could hear the echo of her voice berating him.

“
So that’s how it’s going to be? After everything we went through to be together, you’re gonna push me away now? What was the fucking point?” he asked angrily.

He stared at the dark shadows moving across her face, a picture of the clouds rolling over the moon.

“
I--I’m just... I shouldn’t have said anything,” she whispered.

Kevin’s face softened and he came to her again, wrapping his arms around her instinctively.

“
We can figure it out. We will,” he breathed into her hair.

She let herself melt into his arms and Kevin's heart sank when he felt a shudder roll through her as silent tears begin to fall. Kevin could feel the moisture against his bare chest but he didn’t say a word. He just held her and a few moments later he led her upstairs to bed where she fell asleep against him.

Kevin stayed wide awake, staring at the walls, his thoughts racing. The guilty thoughts he’d been having for weeks were still ever present. Guilt that he was keeping her from having a normal life with normal friendships and relationships. Preemptive guilt that it would indeed be ending soon. But now, a new feeling struck him--a new
idea
. It was different than the others, yet somehow still laced in guilt. It was crazy but he kept going back to it.

But it seemed simple enough. Leave the school. Quit his job then live happily ever after. Just as he thought it and felt a swell of excitement run through him at the notion, he snapped back to reality again
. Happily ever after for who?,
he thought. What if Nina needed to be on her own? Needed that independence and carefree time in the big city to find out who she was and what she wanted. Maybe Kevin would be holding her back. With the idea of taking a huge step in the wrong direction for Nina sitting in his mind, he finally let his eyes close.

The next day was quiet between the two of them. A relaxing day spent outside walking some trails behind the cabin and making meals together. They didn’t talk about what happened the previous night or what would happen when they arrived back in Wexley Falls. They tried to enjoy the time they had with one another before they headed home, knowing the final days of their relationship were about to unfold.

Chapter Sixty-Six

May

It was the end of the day, the day before the prom and Nina was gathering her books from her locker, ready to go home but not before she saw him. A pebble of sadness sat in the bottom of her stomach when she imagined her perfect prom. Kevin would show up at her door to watch her ascend from the stairs in her stunning, red-carpet-worthy dress. They'd dance together under strands of white twinkle lights and no one would stare at them. A kiss would be just a kiss, not a scandal or a secret. She sighed letting a slow blink of her eyes wash away the foolish fantasy.

Standing up to close the metal door of her locker, she felt a tender hand at the small of her back. Another sigh rolled out of her but this one had more of a shudder to it. Her lips spread into a grin as she turned.

“
Happy to see me?” Todd asked with a smile as wide as hers. Nina’s face fell and she pulled away from his touch.

“
Oh, it’s you. Hi,” her voice quivered, bewildered by the unexpected sight of him.

Todd’s brows crinkled together in the middle at the sudden distance between them, “Yeah…hi. Can we talk?”