Authors: Kate Roth
Now it's nothing like it could've been
We're nothing like we should've been
But I'm glad we met that day
The sound of his own breath being pulled from his lungs was the only noise in the room. It was beautiful. More than that, it was for him and he knew it. Any other teacher would write it off as teenage melodrama but Kevin knew Nina meant these words. If she was trying to get his attention, she had it. And with her forthcoming seriousness came Kevin's fear. Just when he thought he’d come to a clear decision about Nina, she turned his world on its head again.
Chapter Twenty-Three
October
The weeks went by with no certain excitement. Kevin’s morning class remained a source of awkwardness for the two of them and yet each tried to pretend it wasn’t. They'd smile to each other, even talk for a few moments after class but neither made any effort to touch the other and they were careful to not stand too close.
Though nothing much transpired between the two of them, it hadn’t stopped Kevin from day dreaming of her.
The text messages stopped as well. Kevin had started writing to Nina a few times but he always lost the courage to press send. He tried to tell her he no longer cared about what might happen until he realized how insane the notion was. He tried to tell her he was thinking about leaving the school to find another job to save them both from making a mistake. It didn't take long for him to delete those words either.
The first three weeks of school proved difficult but the weeks that followed were pure agony. Worst of all, their secret was still a secret, leaving them with no one but each other to share the situation. The sleepless nights were beginning to wear on Kevin, keeping him sluggish and irritable all day.
It was nearing midnight when Kevin looked at the clock and decided to go to bed. He knew he wouldn’t sleep but it was a pattern he’d grown accustomed to. As he walked through the kitchen to lock the back door after Sasha's last trip outside for the evening, he heard a noise from the living room. Ignoring it, he continued closing up the house for the night, shutting off the lights and closing an open window. He started up the steps but quickly turned on his heels remembering he'd left his cell on the coffee table. A flash of realization hit him and a small ache at the base of Kevin’s neck forced him to look, to make sure.
He sat down on the sofa and with a quick tap the black screen lit up and showed he had a message. He jerked his arms up and away from the phone sitting on the oak table top and ran both hands over his face and through his hair as he sucked in a breath. His head tilted back leaving him staring at the ceiling of the dim room. Fingers interlaced and cradling his angled head, he was blowing air out of his lungs rapidly. At last he let his eyes return to the screen. He blinked a few times, whipping his head back and forth in an effort to make sure he was awake enough to know what was really going on. His body became still and calm. His eyes were wide, his mouth twisted in discomfort. A shaking hand reached out and tapped once on the name he didn’t think he would ever see on his phone again.
Tomorrow night. 8 o’clock. The Black Jewel. Conversation restarted.
Chapter Twenty-Four
“
I wish I could see you tonight. My stupid group is made up of a bunch of assholes that had to pick tonight, the one night we don’t have rehearsal, to get together and work on our song,” James whined on the other end of the phone. Nina laughed, feeling only slightly sorry for him. His group was actually made up of a few nice guys.
“
You’ll survive. Plus, it’s not like it’s the last time I’ll be singing there,” Nina replied as she held the phone to her ear with one shoulder, looking through her closet in the section on the far left side where she kept all of her dresses. She flipped through them examining each one for only a moment before mentally discarding it. Not the black one, not the blue one, not the floral. Finally she settled on red.
James was still chattering on the other end but Nina was ignoring him. Her thoughts were somewhere else. She’d been trembling since she pressed ‘send’ late last night. Her stubbornness willed her to do it. She wanted to force him to take another look at what they had. To take another look at her.
And what better place than The Black Jewel, the place where they first met. Nina’s head told her what her heart refused to take note of, that carrying on with her teacher was wrong and could never end well.
She held the red dress up to her body and looked in the mirror. It would certainly force him to look at her. A smile spread wide on her face as she twisted and turned, watching herself in the mirror.
“
Okay James, I’ve got to get ready,” she cut off his rambling as usual. They said their goodbyes and he wished her luck before hanging up. For the next hour Nina labored over getting ready. She took a long shower, shaved her legs and put on her best smelling lotion. While she put her makeup on, her hair was setting in rollers high on her head. Normally she didn’t wear much make up on stage but tonight she felt like playing the part of the vixen in hopes Kevin would show up. Her eyes were done subtly with just a bit of a smoky rimming and some thick mascara. Her lips were painted the same shade as her dress, cherry red.
There was a knock on her door and Greta entered just after, not waiting for Nina’s permission. Nina whipped around to see her in the doorway as Greta let out a laugh.
“
Well, don’t you look like a little harlot?” she chided wickedly.
Nina rolled her eyes and turned back to the small mirror on her desk where her makeup was strewn about, turning her computer desk into a makeshift vanity.
“
I’m staying over at Blake’s tonight. Tell Dad and you’re dead. You’ll be okay by yourself, right?” Greta said. Her sharp voice nearly gave Nina an instant headache. Nina gave a quick affirmative and flitted her hand, shooing Greta out of her room.
Nina slowly pulled the curlers from her black hair and fluffed it with her fingers before spraying a sheen of hair spray over her completed look. For a moment she stared at herself in the full length mirror. The dress hugged her curves and stopped just below her knees. A waved line of red sequins traveled down one side of her, catching the light with each slight movement she made.
She grabbed her bag and her keys and was soon on her way to the restaurant. With her music turned up to drown out her nervous thoughts, the drive went quicker than usual.
David met up with her just as she walked inside. She had a little less than a half hour before she was due on stage.
“
Nina, wow,” David gushed giving her a quick look. Nina smiled shyly at him and waiting for him to continue.
“
I wanted to talk to you actually. Louis told me today that he wants to cut his hours way back. Can I beg you to pick up a few more nights? Maybe even start singing with the jazz band on Saturdays?” David huffed his words hurriedly. Nina was stunned. Beg her? It was an enormous opportunity. She couldn’t turn it down.
“
I’d love to David. You know, I’ve never really thanked you for taking such a leap of faith with me. I know you were nervous about letting a high school girl sing here but I’ve been having a blast and I hope you’ve been happy with me.”
David smiled at her kindly. “You’ve been amazing, Nina. Some day you’re going to be a bright star.”
“
Thank you,” she sighed, holding back an excited squeal.
As David hurried off to tend to the restaurant, Nina scanned the room quickly with her gray eyes. She hoped Kevin would show up but he hadn't responded. One moment it felt right and easy and the next her heart was jabbed by him shutting her out. Maybe it would be better if he didn't come to see her. But as she thought those words she said a silent prayer that he was walking down the street that very moment.
Chapter Twenty-Five
He watched as she smiled and nodded at the man near the door then turned the corner to what he presumed was the backstage area. It was almost time for her to go on. Almost eight o’clock. He was thankful she hadn’t seen him sitting alone at his table in the back. It was darkest in the entire area next to the bar and as such it was a little more difficult to see the stage but that’s exactly where he wanted to be, closest to the bar.
Kevin was on his third drink by the time Nina walked in to The Black Jewel and his breath caught when he saw her. Dressed in red she was a flame in the corner of his eye. She disappeared into the shadows on the other side of the room and he took another drink. The scotch burned as he spilled it down his throat but he didn’t flinch.
He heard the light background music warming up for Nina. Kevin’s eyes were heavy and his mind wandered until he saw her. The lights coming down on her caught the glittering design of her dress. The crowd gave her their attention and their applause. The lights went dark for a split second before lighting Nina up once again. Her back was turned to the audience and her lily white hand was out to one side snapping along with the horns that played.
Has there always been a band?
He wondered. Kevin shook the question from his mind when he heard her smooth voice ring out the opening to “Hey, Big Spender.”
Horns blew and the crowd went wild as Nina spun on her heels to face the room as she kept singing the sultry tune. All Kevin could do was stare. He squinted to see her on the stage and damn it if her face was lit up with a grin.
She looked right at him and began her descent down the steps on the front of the stage, paralyzing Kevin in his chair. Her hips swayed and the words sparked out of her devilishly. He nearly choked on his scotch when she sang of popping her cork. The patrons at their tables watched as she walked by, further into the shaded back of the restaurant.
Watching her slink closer and closer to him sitting motionless at his small table, Kevin was completely enraptured. His breath was pulled from him in a ragged draw as she spun around once before taking a bold seat on his lap. With one hand on the microphone and the other arm wrapped around his neck loosely, Nina sang the words directly to him, inching her face closer to his. Her final belt made him want to pull her to his lips when he realized it had all been a dream.
“
Another drink?” the waitress asked, staring him in the face. Suddenly the room was dim again and about half of the people were missing from his sight. He shook his head trying to pull himself completely back to the present. Squinting at her, all Kevin could mutter was a weak “What?”
“
Can I get you another drink? Are…are you alright sir?”
His eyes cleared with a few more blinks and he saw the waitress gawking at him while he collected his thoughts. Nina hadn’t even gone on stage yet. Once again his mind had wandered too far and this time the alcohol in his blood managed to trick him into thinking it was real. He nodded to the woman and she walked off, undoubtedly annoyed.
The thought occurred to him that it might be better for him to just go on home and spare himself another booze induced hallucination. But a glimpse at the real Nina was too tempting.
“
Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Nina Jordan,” Kevin muttered his own introduction under his breath. The minimal crowd clapped lightly, but Kevin gave her a true round of applause from his table in the back. The waitress set his drink on the table but continued by, avoiding him.
The light shone down upon her and caught the sparkling sequins on her dress just as it had in his dream. A shy smile graced her face as she began playing the soft Norah Jones song she’d chosen for the night.
Kevin took a large gulp of his drink, once again paying no mind to the fire it blazed into his chest. He listened in the dark as the sweet song came out of her and he tried hard to push the memory of her apparition out of his mind.
Chapter Twenty-Six
She heard the booming clap from the back of the restaurant as she ended her last song. It was the same thundering she heard when she walked out on stage. Her eyes strained to see into the darkened bar area while she played but she couldn’t see past Aaron, the bartender. She knew who it was though.
Glad her set was over, she hurried backstage and around the wings to the restaurant. A few patrons stopped her on her way through the tables to tell her they liked the performance. She smiled and pushed through to the bar, to the dark corner table where she’d heard the loudest clapping coming from. She saw his head hanging low and his fingers wrapped around a glass.
Nina pulled out the empty chair on the other side of his table and took a seat silently as he looked up and smiled widely at her.
“
Nina,” he said her name sweetly.
She grimaced at him, unsure of what to do with him in his drunken state.
“
Hi Kevin,” she said somberly. He reached out to her across the table clumsily, knocking over his half empty drink in the process. Ice and liquid spilled out across the table quickly and trickled down into Nina’s lap. She jumped up, looking down at the mess while Kevin scrambled for a napkin and leaned toward her to help, soaking his own shirt in the remaining puddle that sat on the table. Nina sighed loudly and made her way over to the bar to grab a few rags from Aaron.
“
Here,” she said after drying herself as best she could, coming around to him and blotting his shirt. Kevin looked down at her crouched at his side, tending to him.