The Love Triangle (BWWM Romance) (21 page)

When supper was over, Elijah got up and held his hand out to me. I hesitated before I took it. He pulled me up and led me out of the dining room, back toward the main bedroom. When we were inside the door, he kissed me. I kissed him back, but after a few seconds I broke the kiss. The taste of whiskey was still there, despite the food, and it made me feel sick.

“How about a drink?” I asked. “I could do with some alcohol. Just to loosen up.”

He nodded and smiled and disappeared. I took a deep breath. It was dangerous to give him more alcohol, but I hoped that it would push him far enough to pass out. He’d eaten now, his stomach was full and he’d had a lot to drink already. Maybe if I pushed him long enough he would go over the limit and fall asleep. I hoped that would happen before anything happened between us.

Elijah returned. He had a glass of wine and a whiskey tumbler. He handed me the wine and I took it from him, sipped the red liquid. I didn’t really want to drink.

He gulped down his whiskey and put the empty tumbler down on the nightstand. He sat down on the bed and patted it so I would sit down next to him. I walked to the bed and sat down. He shifted closer and put his arm around my shoulders.

“I really missed you,” he said and pulled me closer to him, kissing me. The taste of whiskey was overpowering. He lifted his other hand and put it on my breast. My skin burned where he touched me and I wanted to shrug out from underneath him.

“Baby, let me have some more wine first,” I said when I broke the kiss. He looked at me, and nodded, dropping his hand. I kicked off my heels and shimmied back on the bed until I was lying against the pillows. Elijah did the same and we looked at each other.

“I’ve been waiting for this for a long time,” Elijah said and smiled at me. I took another sip of wine so I didn’t have to answer.

“How are you feeling?” he asked. He put his head down on the pillow and closed his eyes for a moment. The bed was getting to him.

“I’m doing alright. Things are always confusing but I think I’m getting the hang of it. After we get back from our holiday I’d really love to go back to work.”

“Oh, that’s not necessary,” Elijah said. “Why don’t you stay home? Rosa can take care of you and the company will be okay.”

He was trying to keep me here, hold onto me so that he wouldn’t lose me again. It felt more and more like a jail.

“I can’t do nothing with my time,” I started but caught myself before I put up an argument. “But I’m sure I can find a hobby.”

He smiled at me and closed his eyes again. I put my hand on his and he sighed. His eyes stayed closed, and a moment later his breathing changed. It became slow and heavy.

“Elijah?” I asked and nudged his hand. He didn’t wake up. “Elijah,” I said again and shook his shoulder. He made a small ‘hmm’ sound but didn’t wake up. I put the wine glass on the nightstand next to his empty glass and slowly slid off the bed. I picked up my heels and tiptoed toward the door with them in my hands. I closed the door and stood in the passage, looking at it. Rosa appeared next to me.

“Two hours,” I said. “Then I’m leaving.”

She nodded and turned away.

It was almost midnight when I got the suitcase out from underneath the bed. It wasn’t too heavy to carry, and it had wheels so I could drag it over smooth terrain. I’d changed into the jeans, t-shirt and jacket and I wore the running shoes. Rosa met me in the kitchen.

“Come with me,” she said and I followed her through the kitchen and out the kitchen door. I’d never seen this side of the house before. She led me through a wash room and then she unlocked a heavy wooden door. When she opened it, it opened onto a service street that was blocked off from the neighborhood with chicken mesh.

“If you follow this road down that way,” she said, pointing, “you will come out on the street behind this one. Then follow it down until you hit the main road, and you’ll be fine.”

I hugged her.

“Thank you for everything,” I said.

“Get out of here before he wakes up,” she said and held the door open for me. I stepped into the narrow road and the door closed behind me, the locks sliding into place. I took a deep breath. I was out. This was it. It was happening.

I did what Rosa had said and made my way to the road, and then followed it to the main road. It was further on foot that I’d thought and by the time I reached the main road I was breathing hard. I stopped to catch my breath and strained my ears to listen into the night.

Everything was quiet. There was no one out and the moon was just a thin slice of silver in the sky. I was hidden by the natural darkness of night.

I kept walking. When I hit the area I knew better I turned left and followed the winding road. I couldn’t go anywhere Elijah would find me. And I didn’t know a lot of places he wouldn’t look. But there was one place where he would never find me. It was a risk, but I walked to the porch, climbed the steps to the front door, and knocked on the door.

It took minutes of hammering and calling until the light on the other side of the door clicked on.

“Coming, coming,” a sleepy voice murmured. The door opened and Evelyn stood in front of me. I knew Justin’s sister well enough to be able to stand in front of her now.

“What are you doing here?” she asked. Her voice wasn’t friendly and I knew she might not be on my side. I opened my mouth to speak, to tell her I just needed a bed for the night. But instead of words a sob escaped, and the next thing I knew I broke down and cried.

Chapter 20 - Elijah

I woke up with the sun in my eyes through a crack in the curtains and a splitting headache. I swore and sat up, grabbing onto my head and trying to keep the two halves together.

“Rosa?” I called. There was no answer. I shifted to the edge of the bed and hung my legs over the side. I was still wearing my suit and my body was stiff and uncomfortable.

“Rosa!” I called again. Somewhere a vacuum cleaner hummed at an annoying pitch. There was an empty whiskey tumbler and half a glass of wine on my nightstand. I smelled the wine, and my stomach turned.

I got off the bed and stumbled toward the bathroom where I climbed out of my suit and left it in a crumpled mess on the floor. With just my boxers on I stuck my head under the tap in the sink and turned the cold water on full.

The cold was a shock and rivulets of water ran all the way round onto my cheeks before streaming into the basin. My head screamed at me. What the hell happened last night?

I turned off the water and threw a towel over my head, pressing it against my wet skin. I was way too sensitive to rub my face and my hair dry.

I walked down the passage in my boxers with the towel still on my shoulders and around my ears. The whole house was so damn bright, I wanted Rosa to draw all the curtains, switch off all the light, just make it dark.

I wandered through the house and finally found Rosa in the lounge. One of the maids was vacuuming and the sound sliced through me.

“Shut that damn thing off!” I shouted. I had to scream twice before anyone heard me, and the sound finally died down, giving way to silence and the hum in my own ears.

“What the hell is going on?” I asked Rosa. She looked at me like the answer was supposed to be obvious.

“We are cleaning, Mr. Wilson,” she said.

I looked at her. “Why was I still in my suit?”

“You fell asleep,” she said like that was supposed to be some sort of answer. I was getting angry, but the rise in my blood pressure made my head thunder. I turned around and walked out of the room.

When I knocked on Grace’s door, there was silence. I knocked again, and then I pushed it open. The bed was made, and the red dress she’d worn the night before hung in its plastic sleeve on the door handle. I spotted a note on the bed.

Gone shopping, be back later

I squinted at the note. With it in my hand, I found Rosa again.

“Gone shopping?” I asked her, waving the note in front of her face. “Shopping for what?”

Rosa shrugged and looked around the room, everywhere but at me. “I don’t know, sir,” she said. “I didn’t ask.”

“Did she take the car?” I asked.

Rosa hesitated a moment before she shook her head. I narrowed my eyes at her. Something was off. I didn’t know what it was, but something was very off. Grace hadn’t gone anywhere by herself since the accident. I’d driven her, or whoever she’d wanted to see had come here. It didn’t sound right to me.

“Did she call for a taxi?” I asked.

“Why don’t you phone her, and ask her?” Rosa said. I turned my back on her and walked to my office. My fingers were trembling and I felt like I was unraveling. I picked up the phone and hit speed dial.

Her phone rolled over to voicemail straight away. I tried again and again. Her phone wasn’t on. I sat down at my desk and pressed the heel of my hand against my forehead. My head was so damn heavy, and I felt shaky. I was coming undone. I was falling apart, and I had to get this shit sorted if I wanted anything to work out right for me.

I remembered what had happened yesterday, why I’d started drinking so much. I’d almost hurt Grace again. I didn’t mean to, but she didn’t trust me and that made me so angry. How was I supposed to start over if she wasn’t going to trust me? She had absolutely no reason to question me. All that had gotten lost in the accident.

There were still days I wondered if the accident was really such a bad thing. It was a shame that she got hurt, but it was a second chance.

I felt out of breath. I tried to breathe in deeply and my chest hurt. I put a hand on my chest and focused on just breathing. In. Out. In. Out.

It didn’t help. I still felt like I was suffocating.

I leaned down, lifted up the desk with my hand and my shoulder to get to the key underneath the drawers. I unlocked the bottom drawer and pulled out the manila folder Kyle had given me. He’d contacted me again when I was in Miami, but I’d said no. I had wanted to do things right for Grace.

But doing the right thing wasn’t the right thing for me. Without the alcohol, without the drugs, I was getting worse and worse. It was the only way I knew how to keep a handle on things. Everyone had their coping mechanisms.

The white powder was fine when I tore the packet open, and a puff of white floated into the air. I drew a thin strip across my desk and found the short straw I used. Just once. Just for now. As soon as I had everything under control I was locking it away again. I wasn’t an addict, I just need a pick-me-up.

The powder was uncomfortable in my nose and I fought the urge to sneeze. I tipped my head back, stretched my face and breathed deep through my nose, blowing air out again through my mouth.

It didn’t take long before I felt the high coming on. It was fast enough for me to feel better almost right away. I felt energized again, not a lethargic mess. I was Elijah Wilson, owner of Magna Solutions, and the man of Grace’s dreams. Everything else was just an afterthought. I put the drugs away, burying the key underneath the table again before I left the office.

Cocaine in my blood made me feel great. I was happy. I was energetic. I was strong. I was the boss. But there was irritation, too, running in a very fine line underneath it all. I marched to the bedroom and put on black jeans and a collared shirt. My phone rang. It was the office.

I looked at the screen until the ringing stopped.

When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t recognize myself. I looked like a strung-out version of myself. My eyes looked wild and crazed, with pupils that seemed too big. I turned away from it. I didn’t have to look if I didn’t want to.

I walked into the kitchen and found Rosa there, overseeing the silver polishing.

“Where is she?” I asked.

“Shopping,” Rosa answered.

I stepped closer to Rosa and grabbed her arm. Her face turned to me and her eyes were wide. She stared at me, sawing her jaw open and closed. She was scared of me. She’d seen what I could do.

Good.

I needed her to be scared of me. Maybe she would give me answers.

“I don’t know where she is,” she said and her voice was thin and on the verge of a sob. “She left, she wasn’t happy.”

“She left me?” I asked. My voice was low. I couldn’t put the thought together in my mind. Rosa was whimpering and blubbering so I let her go. She tumbled to the ground like I’d pushed her.

I left the house and walked to my car. I sped out of the driveway, nearly hitting the gate pillar, honking my horn at a car that had slammed on the brakes right in front of my gate.