The Lost Hearts (6 page)

“I don’t know,”
Alexis groaned, rubbing her face.  “I feel confused.  Sometimes I’m totally confident that you love and accept me as I am.  And that nothing about me, or how I live my life offends you.  And then I get this feeling, I can hardly name it.  But it just feels like maybe you’re
not
okay…with me.”

“Alexis,” he started, his voice tightening with defense.  “I hardly think I’ve given you any cause to doubt my feelings for you.”

She stopped him.  “I don’t doubt your feelings, Phil.  What I sometimes doubt is that you’ve other ideas about me, about our relationship, and you’re not honest about it.”  Alexis’ eyes burned beneath her lids which she lowered to stifle the threat of tears.  “I want to make you happy, but not if that means I have to be somebody else.”

“Jesus,” Philip spat, clamping his fist around the steering wheel.  “
How did we get here?  Alexis, I didn’t mean anything.  I’m
sorry
.”  Taking care to collect himself, he softened his tone.  “I just meant that your father is a capable man and that he’ll manage this expedition even if you’re not jumping on the boat with him.”  Philip opened his arm and let it drape across the back of the seat allowing his fingers to stroke her hair.  He edged his body close to her, and burying his fingers in her curls, brought his face to hers.  “Please don’t be mad,” he whispered as he touched his mouth to the corner of her pouting lips.  “I love
you,
Alexis.  I want to be with
you.”

Shifting in the seat, she met h
is mouth with her own.  He cupped her face between his hands and moved his lips over hers.  His body seemed to expand and consume her, as it had on the boat, and she felt something else inside him breathing.  But her mind lingered on the argument, and she had nothing in her to respond to his fevered kisses. 

“Can I walk you to the door?”
Philip asked, his voice low.  Alexis kissed him quickly and shook her head.

“Not tonight. I’m cold and want to get warmed up.  I suppose I’ll see you tomorrow night, then?” 

Now Philip grinned.  “You bet!  It’s going to be the party of the year.  All eyes will undoubtedly be on the most gorgeous woman in Boston.  That’s you, of course.” 

Alexis was dreading a night spent among high society
.  Hundreds of them.  She whimpered through a strained smile, “Oh, just what I always wanted.”

Alexis
swung the passenger door closed and stepped back onto the curb. Philip flicked a solemn salute and peeled out of the parking spot, the wind rustling a few golden strands across his handsome brow.  Winking at Alexis, he gunned the gas and tapped the horn. 

Alexis
remained veiled in the shadows, her expression blank.  She stood inert and watched contemplatively as the taillights of the prized automobile disappeared around the bend. 

The soft golden spatters of last daylight sifted through the window, dancing upward along the length of the wall.  The house was silent except for the d
ull tenor chimes of the grandfather clock in the foyer.  Alexis hummed softly and loosened the tie to her cream silk robe, pausing before the pine Cheval mirror that had belonged to her mother.  Even in the muted glow of dusk she could see that her face had bronzed significantly from her time outdoors.  An impish smile curled across her cheeks when she remembered the moment on the boat, the sun lighting up Philip’s half naked body.  That body which had been so close before she pulled away.   

Beside the mirror towered a burled walnut
armoire.  She pulled open the doors and examined its modest but elegant contents.  A viridian ankle-length chiffon dress hung delicately from a wooden hanger.  She fingered the gossamer fabric tenderly, pulling up the bottom to inspect the understated train which bled from brilliant green to raven black.  Her father had presented her the dress on the evening of her last graduation and Alexis had treasured the garment ever since.  She let her robe fall to the ground, and slipped the gauzy material over her head, slithering into the fitted gown.

Glimpsing her figu
re in the mirror, she adjusted the two silken straps over her bare shoulders.  A pretty band of black beaded lace met at her upper arms and swept into a soft v over her breasts and along her back, tying into a fashionable knot.  Alexis twirled slowly, and with a slight smile, nodded her head in approval.  “Okay,” she said aloud in a satisfactory tone.  Rubbing her hands together, she sat on a cream satin stool and scanned the surface of her pine vanity set. She traced a dab of spiced vanilla perfume along her jaw line and behind her ear, now bejeweled with a black pearl earring dangling beneath a diamond encrusted spiral of silver.

Leaning into the light overhead the vanity mirror, she puckered her full lips, grazing her mouth with a soft sheen of carnelian toned lipstick.  Alexis’ eyes flew open at the dramatic effect.  She rarely wore makeup and was always stunned to see such a glamorous transformation.   Though her sapphire eyes wer
e already framed by long black lashes, she widened them to apply a thin coat of mascara.  Humming with satisfaction, she dusted her cheeks and the graceful slope of her nose with the powder puff.  “There,” she exclaimed.  Casting one last glance at herself, she patted her hair, which she had cinched and laced with a string of black beads into a braid which fell just below her shoulder blades.

A feeble knock sounded at the door.  Marion stood in the doorway, her bosom heaving from the effort of climbing the stairs.  Her round cheeks lifted into a smile as she spotted Alexis.  “Oh my, you look lovely
!”  Nodding her head backward she continued.  “I just came to tell you that Philip is here.  Shall I let him up?”

“Oh!  I wasn’t expecting him...but, I guess I’m ready.  Go ahead and send him up.”  Alexis suddenly felt nervous.  She knew how Philip had looked forward to this evening, and she wanted to make him proud.  Marion disappeared and seconds later Philip slipped through the door. 

He held his hands behind him, a mischievous gleam in his opaline eyes.  “Alexis.  I’m glad I caught you.”  With an arched eyebrow, he began to circle her with a studious air, playfully surveying.  “You look beautiful as always,” he remarked warmly.

“Thank you.”

“But…” his voice bent with exaggeration, luring her into suspense. 

“But what?”
Alexis worried, patting at the fabric that clung to her hips. 

“Well, I just thought that since tonight was a special occasion, you might like a gift that will remind you of it.  Like this dress y
our father gave you for your last graduation party.”  Alexis couldn’t be certain, but she thought she detected a hint of disapproval flicker across his face. 

Alexis raised her shoulders in anticipation.  “What is
it?” she demanded with bubbling curiosity.

Philip theatrically swung an arm between them, clutching a beautifully wrapped parcel
.  “Open it,” he insisted. 

Alexis bit her lip, forgetting that she had just coated them with lipstick
, and let her fingers sink into the soft golden crepe paper.  It was like opening a treasure chest.  Thousands of tiny black crystals shone brilliantly in her hands.  She looped her fingers through the shoulder straps and let the striking hourglass form of the garment unfold.  She couldn’t imagine how much the dress had cost Philip.  By all standards it was breathtaking, and she knew it would earn her the collective admiration of the entire party. 

“I don’t know what to say, Philip.”  Alexis held up the gown to the overhead lamp. The miniscule crystals,
dangling from their careful weave, caught the light, casting a veil of prisms over her face.  “It’s so glamorous.  Thank you.”

Philip beamed
.  “You’re welcome.”  Bringing his other hand forward he presented her a long, slender bag.  “I figured you would need a few other accessories to go with the dress.”  Draping the gown across her bed stool, she let her hands explore the satchel and her fingers seized the hard casing of a jewelry box.  She couldn’t help the flutter of excitement as she pulled it open.  She sucked in a short, excited breath, her eyes glittering brilliantly from the reflection of its contents.  Silver hook earrings with two-carat diamonds ringed by smaller multifaceted stones shone brilliantly against the midnight blue velvet backing.  The centerpiece was a multi-strand, silver crochet necklace throughout which tens of small teardrop diamonds dangled enchantingly around one enormous, shimmering stone. 

“Oh, Philip.”
  Stupefied, she raised her head to him.  He stood proudly before her, one hand gripping the corner post of her bed as he laughed with pleasure.

“Well, it’s the only thing I could find to match your beauty.”

“It’s overwhelming!” she gushed, feeling faint.  “I can’t believe you got all of this for me.”

“That’s not the only thing in the bag.  I thought you might need some shoes to accompany the rest.”  Philip lowered himself beside her and traced a finger along the soft arch of her brow.  “I can’t wait
to see you in this.”  With a slight jerk, he pulled back the sleeve of his grey blazer, his eyes inspecting the time on his black leather Rolex.  Stooping low, he nuzzled the crown of Alexis’ waves with his nose and kissed her forehead.  “I’ve got to go and get ready.  I’ll see you soon?” 

“Yes,” Alexis murmured in a daze.  “Really, thank you.  It’s all very beautiful.  It’s too much.”

Philip shook his head emphatically, already striding toward the door.  As he pulled it closed behind him, he ducked his head back in, his gaze meeting hers.  “Nothing is too much for you, Alexis.”  

Alexis’ heart galloped in her chest as they pulled aside the entrance to the pearl-colored mansion.  The glinting white gravel crackled beneath the tires.  She felt as though her lungs would burst and she realized she hadn’t taken a breath since they passed the black wrought iron gates to the Talbot estate.  Lawrence shot his daughter a knowing look. 

“Tonight wi
ll be quite an evening, my dear.  You have nothing to do but enjoy yourself.”  A young apple-cheeked valet dressed in a starchy white suit scurried to the driver’s side.  Lawrence lowered the window of the smoky gray Buick.  “Just a minute, young man.”  Pushing his spectacles high on his nose, Lawrence faced his daughter, his eyes flashing with paternal affection.  “If ever you feel stifled by all the introductions to Boston’s richest and best, in particular that domineering empress Philip calls ‘mother’, you can find me hanging around the punch bowl.” 

“Father!” Alexis gasped, and her face split wide with an all-too-knowing grin.  She swatted at him playfully and the pair sniffled with nervous laughter. 

“You look just like your mother.  A lot more like a movie star, but just as beautiful,” Lawrence said when their laughter subsided.

Straining with the constriction of her dress
, she leaned over and planted a quick kiss on his bristly cheek.  “Thanks. You have no idea how glad I am you’re here.  I’ll hardly know anyone!  Anyway, I feel more like a thing than a person in all this.  I can barely breathe!”  Squeezing her hand in his, Lawrence motioned to the valet and the two joined the steady stream of stylish guests ascending the white marble steps of the mansion.

“Alexis!”  A distin
ct, smug voice trumpeted over the chatter of animated party-goers. Alexis whirled around to confirm her suspicions of its owner and swiftly sighted her cousin Elisabeth.  A few steps below them she waved melodramatically, the other black-gloved hand cupped above her flaming red lips. With a seductive swing of her velvet-hugged hips, Elisabeth quickened her pace to join them.  Alexis wasn’t surprised to see her sporting the usual self-pleased smirk.

“
My, you look absolutely dolled up tonight.  What a transformation!  This is a real change for you.”  Elisabeth batted her coal-shadowed lids, her lashes heavily doused in mascara.

Hardly attempting to feign a tolerant expression, Alexis replied fla
tly, “Yes, it is.”  Clenching her teeth, Alexis groaned inwardly, wishing for the ability to hurl stinging retorts.  Unruffled by the lack of enthusiasm, Elisabeth weaved her thin, gloved arm through her cousin’s.  Alexis flinched in revulsion at the gesture.

“We missed you the other night.  It’s too bad you couldn’t come.  But like you said, you have so much work to do.  I suppose you’re getting your fix while you can.”  The saccharine in
flection of Elisabeth’s voice was more than Alexis could bear. 

“What do you mean?”
Alexis inquired through her teeth, the muscles of her face paralyzed with fraudulent cordiality.

Elisabeth laughed
as though she’d heard a hysterical joke.  Alexis wasn’t surprised.  She understood that Elisabeth set her volume and the animation of her movements to the maximum, like a wide net cast to ensnare the greatest amount of attention.  Now Alexis sighed audibly and reclaimed her arm from Elisabeth’s clutch.  “Well, you can’t expect to keep up with the Talbots
and
the museum, can you?”

Alexis snapped her head back, her brow lined with anger.  She could feel her chest rise under the tight hold of her corset.  She wanted badly to tell her cousin once and for all exactly what she’d always thought about her, but she felt the
heavy palm of her father squeeze her shoulder. 

“Elisabeth, how lovely to see you.
  It’s been...too long.”  Lawrence Scott took his niece’s hand and leaned in for a salutatory kiss.  “Why don’t you let me escort both of you inside?”  Installing his short, rotund body between the women, he led them arm-in-arm through the entrance of the grand foyer.

A small, elderly butler dressed smartly in a black tuxedo greeted the trio.  “Good evening.  Ms. Scott, Philip asked me to escort you to the banquet room.  Would you please accompany me?”  Alexis recognized him as Peter, a faithful employee of the Talbots. 

“Yes, thank you, Peter,” she nodded, patting her father, who winked sideways with encouragement.  As they passed through the cavernous vestibule she could feel the weight of innumerable eyes glued to her figure.  She couldn’t shake the feeling that despite the dress, the sparkling gems, the glamorous sweep of curls over her shoulders, that she did not belong among these halls.  Worse yet, she felt that everyone else knew it.

Alexis could hear hushed whispers echoing around her, and she felt faint with apprehension.  The party-goers were intrigued by the striking beauty of the fiery-haired woman adorned in lavish jewelry and a glittering Vionnet gown.  Scanning the room
, she quickly located a server offering champagne.  Clutching the glass, she downed the effervescent liquid in a quick succession of gulps.  “That should help,” she heard herself mumbling to no one.

Pushing through clusters of sophisticated socialites, Peter led them to the threshold of the gargantuan hall.  Liv
ely banter rose above the heads of the guests into a hum that circulated the room in invisible waves. The women, dressed in fiercely feminine silhouette gowns, sported extravagant furs, dazzling gemstones, and exotic art deco hats sprayed with lustrous rhinestones.  The men, more faithful to the standard of evening wear, showed off their masculine figures in expensive, custom-tailored tuxedos.

Alexis spotted Margaret Talbot.  She was perched like
royalty on a sumptuous fainting couch.  Not quite plump, she looked imperial in a gold satin dress that plunged over her breasts.  Her chest was adorned with large flat stones of onyx, a black minx draping over both shoulders.  Her hair, slightly grayed, was styled short in pin curls around her face.  Philip loomed tall above his mother, resting his arms on the knee he propped on a foot stool.  His black tux faithfully revealed the impressive lines beneath the fabric and Alexis smiled inwardly at his confident charm. 

The large group raised their heads in unison to behold their approaching addition.  Philip dropped his foot and opened his arms to greet her.  A triumphant smile split wide across his face as he exam
ined this other-worldly being he could call his own.  “Alexis!”  He called out at full volume.  She could sense the immediate area around them silence as the heads turned to study her.  As the crowd parted, Alexis’ heel caught the carpet.  Time seemed to yawn, and as if dismembered from her own body, she watched her arms flail uselessly about her in a vicious tumble to the floor.