The Lost Days (Prairie Town Book 3) (28 page)

Wiping at the moisture in his eyes, he cleared his throat in an attempt to dislodge the painful lump suddenly stuck there.

Lydia turned around and stared at him, surprised.  “Devin, are you crying?”

“Forgive me.” He sniffed and stood from his seat, shaking his head.  “It’s so stupid. I don’t even know why it’s getting to me like this.”

“What’s getting to you?” She took three short strides and stood before him, crossing her arms over her chest.  “Johnny?”

“Yeah.  It’s stupid.” His voice cracked and he rolled his watery eyes in annoyance.  “I can’t even remember the guy.  I don’t know why I’m letting it bother me so much.”

“But we’re talking about
Johnny
, right?”

Why did that seem so impossible to believe?

“Maybe? I don’t know.  This is the closest I’ve come to finding him, and I really needed to find him.” Pinching at the bridge of his nose, he sighed.  “Damn.”

“Why is it so important to find Johnny?”

“Because he may remember who I was before I turned bad,” he answered, fighting to keep his trembling bottom lip still.  “If anybody would know, it’s him.”

“Johnny?” She repeated, her eyes darting back and forth between his.  “Were you...I mean, are you certain you were close to Johnny?”

“That’s what my mom said.  We were best friends.  We...”—he closed his eyes and sucked in a calming breath, and then opened one eye to peer at her—“Can I tell you a secret?”

“I suppose you can.” She tilted her head to the side, waiting.

“Okay.  No one else knows this aside from my parents and Johnny...”

“Do tell.” Her hands moved to her hips.

“When we were little, my dad caught us kissing and...well, he wasn’t happy about it.”

“What?” She squeaked, eyes growing as big as saucers. 

“I know. Trust me, I know how unbelievable it sounds, but it’s true.  And I think a part of me always knew, you know? Like, I’ve always kind of thought that maybe I liked guys. B-but I like girls, too,” he stammered.  “God, don’t judge me for it.  I’m not a terrible person, Lydia.  I’m good.  I swear I’m good.  I’m just trying to figure out what made me the way I was when I got older.  I never would have hurt you.  It’s God-awful and I know it.  Hitting girls?  That’s just not me. I don’t know what made me do it.  That’s what I’m trying to figure out and only Johnny could have helped me.”

“Whoa, whoa.” She held her hands up and shook her head furiously.  “Wait a minute. Stop. 
Stop
.”

Pursing his lips together, he nodded.

“You think that you and Johnny were like...sandbox boyfriends?”

“Yes.  That’s what my mother said.  We were really close and then my dad caught us kissing and...well, I got punished for that and Johnny went away.  He moved.  I never saw him again.”

“Wow.” Lydia raked her fingers through her long hair and turned away from him, exhaling loudly.  “Wow, that’s just a lot to take in.”

“I know.  But do you understand why it was so important to me?  I can’t help but to feel maybe Johnny could have answered so many questions for me.  Maybe he could even jog some memories for me.  If I could just find out where he’s buried, I could—”

“No!” She whirled about and stared at him, panic seizing her beautiful features.  “I mean...no, that’s impossible.  There isn’t a grave or anything.”

“He was cremated?”

“No.  No, it’s not like that.  It’s...ugh.” She dropped her head and groaned, fingers running through her hair again as she sucked in a loud breath and stomped a foot against the floor in frustration.  “I can’t believe I’m doing this...”

“What?  What are you doing?” He was completely lost.  Why was she acting so weird? What had he said to make her so out of sorts?

“Look, Devin,” she said, lifting her head and staring at him.  “You never kissed Johnny.  You weren’t even close to Johnny.  Sure, you were nice to him at one time, but you were really young and whatever you think you went through – it must have been before that because you actually were a pretty nice kid in kindergarten.  But, whatever you think you did with Johnny,”—she smiled sympathetically—“it didn’t happen.  Not with him.”

“But how can you be so sure?  Isn’t it possible we hung out after school?  He came to my house sometimes.  That’s what my mom said.”

“Well, your mom clearly doesn’t remember who the boy was.  But I promise you it wasn’t Johnny McIntosh.”

“McIntosh?” And then it struck him like a bolt of lightning.  Of course Lydia would have known Johnny.  They were related!  “Oh my god.  Lydia, I’m so sorry.  I didn’t know.”

“Not a lot of people do,” she replied. “Only the people I really trust.”

“Wait, what?” He frowned.  “Why would you only tell the people you trust?  Doesn’t the rest of your family know?  Close friends?”

“Are you kidding me?  No way.  It’s not something I broadcast all over town, Devin.  That’s personal.  It’s really personal.”

“Oh.” Sheesh.  Maybe her family just took death really seriously.  Or maybe it was some sort of religious thing.  He suddenly felt very bad for bringing up painful memories of her lost loved one.  “I’m really sorry for your loss.”

“My loss?”

“Johnny.” He nodded.  “Your...cousin?  Or was he your brother?”

“Oh, my god.” Her eyebrows shot up and she laughed.  She laughed so hard, it only made him more confused.  It didn’t help when she slapped a hand against his shoulder and snorted.  “Oh, bless your heart, Devin.”

“Did I...miss something?”

“You really don’t know, do you?” She calmed down and pressed a palm over her mouth in an effort to keep from giggling again.  “We’re talking about two different things here, aren’t we?”

“I’m not sure I follow, Lydia.”

“No, of course you don’t.” She wiped at the tears in her eyes and chuckled again, and then grabbed both of his hands.  “Johnny isn’t
really
dead.  I mean he is, but he isn’t.  Does that make sense?”

“Not one bit.”

“Well, let me clear up the confusion for you.  I’m—”

The office door swung open and they both turned to see Benji standing there.

“Oh, hey.” He glanced back and forth between them.  “I don’t mean to interrupt, but Tula needs you at her place, stat,” he said, nodding in towards him.  “Hey, Devin.”

“Hey, Benji.  Nice Mohawk.”

“You think? Thanks, man.” He grinned.  “Just got it done a few days ago.”

“Looks good.”

“And we’re all having nice hair days,” Lydia interrupted, clapping her hands together.  “I’m sorry, Devin.  I really should get over there.  Do you want to meet for lunch sometime?  Maybe we can talk about Johnny then.”

“I’d like that, Lydia.  Thank you.”

“Okay then.  Lunch it is.  Just call me and we’ll set something up.  Sorry I have to rush out on you.”

“No, it’s okay.  I understand completely,” he reassured her, following her back into the main part of the store.

At least he was getting closer to the truth now.  Even if it wasn’t Johnny he’d kissed, maybe Johnny would know who to contact.

If not, no one could say he hadn’t tried.

“Hey, everybody!” Laney entered the small bookstore and waved at him, eyes sparkling.  “Hi, Devin.  What brings you to Bookleberry’s?”

“Kelly did,” he answered, returning her smile.  “I was looking for some information and Lydia was more than happy to help.”

“Was she?” She glanced at her sister, who was gathering her things to leave.  “And what kind of information did you need?”

“Just some stuff about the past.  It’s a never ending quest.” He shrugged, catching sight of a familiar face outside the window.

It was Nick.  What was Nick doing there?

He hurried to grab the door, pulling it open for him.  Carrying a few thick pieces of plywood, Nick winked as he entered the store.  “Hey, all. I brought what you asked for.”

“Oh, the plywood?” Benji popped up from the back.  “That’s great.  Thanks.”

“No problem.  I keep hearing the weather is getting ready to get really bad.  Better safe than sorry.” Nick’s eyes roamed back to Devin and his heart sped up.  “What are you doing here?”

He may have accidentally forgotten to tell Nick his plans of visiting Lydia.  Hell, he hadn’t even told him about the talk he’d had with Kelly.

Did that make him a bad lover?

“He just came by to see some familiar faces.” Lydia spoke up, heading for the door.  “But we have to cut it short today because Prairie Town’s future mayor needs me.”

“She’s got my vote.” Nick grinned.  “I’m all for girl power.”

“Wise words,” Callum remarked, following his wife out the door.  “See you fellas later.  Devin.” He tipped an imaginary hat in his direction.  “Stay out of trouble.”

“Sure will,” he mumbled, heat creeping up the back of his neck. 

Months had passed by and people still considered him to be a troublemaker.  Would it ever go away?

“Well, here’s the money for the plywood.” Benji interrupted his thoughts.  “Let me know if you get any sandbags in? We might need ‘em.”

“I highly doubt we’ll get any water this far inland,” Nick explained, stuffing the cash into his pocket.  “The worst we have to worry about is wind damage, maybe a tornado or two.”

“Well, I don’t like either of those options.” Laney wrinkled her nose.  “But I guess we should all be extra cautious when it hits.”

“That’s a smart move, Ma’am.  Y’all have a nice day now.” Nick made his way towards the door and then gave him a crooked grin.  “Come on, I’ll give you a ride home.  If you want?”

“Yeah, sure.” His heart was going wild.  “I think I’d like that.”

He tried his best to ignore the fact Benji and Laney were watching them as they exited the store, but he could feel their gazes on him.

Had they never seen two men flirt before?

They’ve probably just never seen me flirt with a man before,
he determined as Nick pulled him into a tight embrace.

“I missed you today,” Nick whispered close to his ear.  “Glad to see you’re venturing out into society.”

Sighing contently, he nuzzled his nose against Nick’s cheek. 

“There’s something I need to tell you,” he murmured, pulling back to gaze at him.  “It’s about
why
I’m in town.”

“It can wait a second.” Nick’s eyes dropped to his mouth.  “I need a kiss first.”

“Here?” His heart stopped.

“Right here.” Nick cupped his face and pulled his lips to his, not giving him a chance to back out.

And God, he didn’t want to back out anyway.  Feeling those lips against his, that taste upon his tongue, and smelling the scent of sweat and cologne...it made him dizzy with lust.

He didn’t give a damn if the whole town watched.

But upon hearing a soft gasp of surprise, they yanked apart as if they were two teenagers being busted by a parental figure.

“Oh, shit.” Nick sighed.  “Kelly, just let me explain. It’s—Kelly! Stop!  Just listen to me, please.  Kelly!”

“Stay away from me, asshole!” She cried, tugging open the door to the bookstore and hurrying inside. 

Nick rushed in after her, leaving Devin alone on the sidewalk.

Numb and terrified, he leaned back against the brick wall of the building and closed his eyes.

Was this his fault?

Had he ruined everything?

K
elly

God, she was an idiot.  She was so foolish for thinking anybody could ever find her attractive; for having thought she could find love again.

With the water running as hot as she could stand it, she stood beneath the shower head and allowed her tears to mix with the stream, sobbing and hiccupping like a pathetic teenager experiencing her first heartbreak.

But in a way, she was. 

She hadn’t allowed herself to get close to anyone since Patrick.

“Damn you,” she wept, leaning against the cool tile.  “Damn you to hell, you asshole.”

Nick Laveau was a lying, cheating piece of dirt as far as she was concerned.  And the sad part was she never would have believed it if she hadn’t seen it with her own eyes.

Lydia had texted her to let her know Devin was stopping by and she had wanted to be there to show her support for him, but that jerk didn’t deserve it.

How long?
  She wondered as she reached for the shampoo. 
How long has he been playing both of us?

She couldn’t be mad at Devin for it.  Hell, he probably didn’t know Nick was coming to see her when he was supposed to be ‘working’.  The poor guy had to be just as heartbroken over it as she was.

Right?

I didn’t even know Devin liked guys!

I didn’t know Nick liked guys!

Oh, it was so confusing.  And painful.

But that’s what she got for breaking down the barrier and letting someone in.  It was Karma.

God, I’m a whore.

She regretted letting Nick touch her.  Her skin crawled in disgust, remembering everything he’d done to her.  That perverted dickhead!

What would Justin think if he knew?  How would he feel about me if he knew I let another man in so easily?  What does that say about me as a mother?

That only made the tears fall harder, faster, and with no mercy.

“Oh, God,” she sobbed, stepping beneath the water again to rinse her hair.  “Oh, God.  What have I done?”

She would never forgive him.  He’d promised it wasn’t a game and lied through his damn teeth.  It
was
a game, and he won.

Shutting off the water and stepping out of the shower, she suddenly hated her bathtub for the memories it held of him.  She’d never be able to look at it again.

“Idiot!” She kicked it as hard as she could, wailing as pain shot up her leg.  “
I’m
an idiot.”

Hobbling around on one foot while clinging to the towel wrapped around her wet frame, she cursed the heavens for allowing her to fall into such an obvious trap.

“God, Kelly.  How could you be so dumb?” She whimpered, sinking down to the floor and examining her throbbing toe.  “Why did you ever believe it would be so easy to find someone again?”

As much as she hated to admit it, she
had
thought about dating in the past.  It took a while, a long while, after Patrick’s passing, but the thought had crossed her mind.  Whether it was because she was at the park with her kids and saw parents playing with their children, or when she was grocery shopping and saw a couple walk by holding hands – it made her heart wrench in such a painful way.